Hello one and all 
Do you think fab has changed you?
Made you more confident to interact with people? Thicker skinned to deal with shit messages? More body confident ? Better to deal with rejection ?
Positives or negatives …
Always nosey …oops I mean curious  |
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"Nope. I'm the same as I was before I signed up.
I had zero expectations and assumed nothing.
If the site had changed me in any way I'd be worried. "
Why would you be worried, interactions with other group types can lead to change of thinking etc as it opens up new discussions? Not a bad thing always? So why worried ? |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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Me personally it has feel more open and honest about what I want and people don’t judge, people on here mostly accept everyone has different approaches to sex and fetishes, but unfortunately like most sites time wasters stumble across these sites and can ruin it for some. |
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"Me personally it has feel more open and honest about what I want and people don’t judge, people on here mostly accept everyone has different approaches to sex and fetishes, but unfortunately like most sites time wasters stumble across these sites and can ruin it for some."
Yeah once you’re able to get that similar interaction likeminded can grow |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"Hello one and all
Do you think fab has changed you?
Made you more confident to interact with people? Thicker skinned to deal with shit messages? More body confident ? Better to deal with rejection ?
Positives or negatives …
Always nosey …oops I mean curious "
Yes completely in all positive ways |
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Been on and off of here for quite some time now, to begin with it did thicken my skin with the amount of rejections I got... adapt or die really.
This is my third time on here as a couple and it's easier going with the flow this time around |
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By *a LunaWoman 19 weeks ago
South Wales |
"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of men. Yes I know it's not all men."
This. Although it was (some) Fab men during lockdown that did for me.
Some individuals behaved in a way that I thought was quite self centered and inconsiderate in trying to prioritise their penis rather than caring about other people’s circumstances. I found it really disheartening and it made me rethink why I was on here. |
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"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of men. Yes I know it's not all men.
That’s a shame that it’s had a negative impact . "
I suppose it is.
If I really think about it there have been positive influences but I'm quite wary of how much of the appreciation expressed is 100% genuine and basing my opinion of myself on that. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 19 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Nope. I'm the same as I was before I signed up.
I had zero expectations and assumed nothing.
If the site had changed me in any way I'd be worried.
Why would you be worried, interactions with other group types can lead to change of thinking etc as it opens up new discussions? Not a bad thing always? So why worried ? "
Made you more confident to interact with people?
Nope. Never had a problem.
Thicker skinned to deal with shit messages?
Nope. They're easily ignored. I don't worry about words on the Internet from strangers.
More body confident ?
Nope. Ive never been in hreat shape. I am what i am.
Better to deal with rejection ?
Rejection is part of being on any online contact site or dating app, just as it is in normal life with everything from job applications to approaching someone in a bar. If you struggle with rejection then that's a personality trait to work on. It happens to everyone.
If anything I did on here caused me to change the way I thought, acted or approached life I would worry. There's been a few occasions during my fab life that have impacted and changed my actual life.
But not who I am. Nothing and nobody on the site can change me as a person. |
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"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of women and men. Yes I know it's not all women and men."
I've amended this slightly to reflect how it has changed me. Beyond that it has had no impact on me as a person or as a man. |
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"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of men. Yes I know it's not all men.
This. Although it was (some) Fab men during lockdown that did for me.
Some individuals behaved in a way that I thought was quite self centered and inconsiderate in trying to prioritise their penis rather than caring about other people’s circumstances. I found it really disheartening and it made me rethink why I was on here."
For me it's the number of men who want to masturbate into unaware women's underwear drawers, give out their unaware wife's location or phone number, want to swap photos of their partner, want to know how to persuade their wife to have sex with other men etc. |
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"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of women and men. Yes I know it's not all women and men.
I've amended this slightly to reflect how it has changed me. Beyond that it has had no impact on me as a person or as a man. "
That's fair. |
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In various ways.
I'm more aware of what sexually works for me and what doesn't.
It's exposed me to all different kinds of relationship dynamics and helped me figure out that I'm naturally more inclined to solo polyamory, not that I'm looking for a relationship right now.
I'm far more wary of people after taking them at face value previously got me in bother.
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By *bi HaiveMan 19 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of men. Yes I know it's not all men.
This. Although it was (some) Fab men during lockdown that did for me.
Some individuals behaved in a way that I thought was quite self centered and inconsiderate in trying to prioritise their penis rather than caring about other people’s circumstances. I found it really disheartening and it made me rethink why I was on here.
For me it's the number of men who want to masturbate into unaware women's underwear drawers, give out their unaware wife's location or phone number, want to swap photos of their partner, want to know how to persuade their wife to have sex with other men etc. "
100% this.
It's like consent doesn't exist to some people. |
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"Hello one and all
Do you think fab has changed you?
Made you more confident to interact with people? Thicker skinned to deal with shit messages? More body confident ? Better to deal with rejection ?
Positives or negatives …
Always nosey …oops I mean curious "
It hasn’t had any effect on me whatsoever. I had zero fucks before I joined and still have zero 😘 |
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I'm less likely to respond to all messages now, which I used to do  somewhat naively. I do stick with the maxim that no reply = no thanks, as does a block, when inappropriate messages arrive.
I've seen the benefits of crystal clear clarity that is required for some men to start to grasp that their demands aren't likely welcome too  |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"H
It hasn’t had any effect on me whatsoever. I had zero fucks before I joined and still have zero 😘"
Surely LB it is single men who have had zero fucks since they joined Fab (judging by all the complaints and the "Who's had a dry [Month]" |
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"H
It hasn’t had any effect on me whatsoever. I had zero fucks before I joined and still have zero 😘
Surely LB it is single men who have had zero fucks since they joined Fab (judging by all the complaints and the "Who's had a dry [Month]" "
I have no comment on who is actually getting “the fucks” 😉 |
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"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of men. Yes I know it's not all men.
This. Although it was (some) Fab men during lockdown that did for me.
Some individuals behaved in a way that I thought was quite self centered and inconsiderate in trying to prioritise their penis rather than caring about other people’s circumstances. I found it really disheartening and it made me rethink why I was on here.
For me it's the number of men who want to masturbate into unaware women's underwear drawers, give out their unaware wife's location or phone number, want to swap photos of their partner, want to know how to persuade their wife to have sex with other men etc. "
For me it's been the levels some are prepared to stoop to either in the hope of getting their leg over or just to remain relevant.
The unsolicited sharing of other people's personal information with me in an attempt to get me to take their side in some drama or other followed immediately by the sharing of my details with others when I refused.
These things don't happen in a vacuum so there are some who enable this. Some who do so because they enjoy the drama and others who turn a blind eye because they need that association. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"Do you think fab has changed you? "
Yes, I waste a heck of a lot more work time pfaffing around on the Forum (billable hours are down)
"Made you more confident to interact with people? "
No, I was happy and confident before (oh and sarcastic and a pratt - so no change)
"Thicker skinned to deal with shit messages? "
I dont get shit messages (awaits a flurry), though clearly piss some off on threads and so may get them there, but that is just funny (or results in a retort and sojourn on the naughty step)
"More body confident ? "
Nope, generally survive my bod - I could do with Midnight running her fitness programme again though
"Better to deal with rejection ?
"
Gosh, who cares, you are not everyone's cup of tea, and I have met some great people on here. If I am not someone's type that is fine. |
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By *mf123Man 19 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
Another one i read wrong i see ffs
Fab partly changed me first was the here for a laugh phase then the kid in a candy store phase then the prove myself as the greatest fuck in the universe phase then was the in love and feelings phase then the despare phase(less said about that the better bloody sap) then the insanity phase then the try get over it phase then the have a laugh phase then the minimum flirt phase now the not really interested either way im too busy livin phase
Its been a bloody rollercoaster since popping up here all that time ago
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I don't think it has changed me but this place has definitely been an eye opener for me.
I never knew how obsessed people were with coffee, cake and grey joggers.
It's also been nice interacting with people who I probably wouldn't normally interact with in day to day life. It's been good to have opinions challenged. |
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"Only in as far as I'm even more cynical towards and wary of men. Yes I know it's not all men.
This. Although it was (some) Fab men during lockdown that did for me.
Some individuals behaved in a way that I thought was quite self centered and inconsiderate in trying to prioritise their penis rather than caring about other people’s circumstances. I found it really disheartening and it made me rethink why I was on here.
For me it's the number of men who want to masturbate into unaware women's underwear drawers, give out their unaware wife's location or phone number, want to swap photos of their partner, want to know how to persuade their wife to have sex with other men etc. "
#notallmen but it could be any man.
Which is sometimes quite a depressing thought |
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It's also totally kicked the shit out of my ego. Even though I really like me I realise I'm not attractive at all in fab world. I good with that cause now I know it. When I joined I thought I would do ok with occasional meets..man was I wrong. 3 years of rejection and nothing. Is what it is🤷🏽♂️ |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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It gave me body confidence, but I'm also aware that a lot of compliments are hollow
I hasn't changed my interactions and I am in control of my reaction always |
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"Yes yes it has, I’ve seen that much cock, that a bloke could walk down the street with it hanging out his jeans, and instead of laughing, I’d probably calmly say “ flying low youth “.
The mr "
Or ‘it’s ok he’s probably on fab so it’s acceptable’ |
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"It's also totally kicked the shit out of my ego. Even though I really like me I realise I'm not attractive at all in fab world. I good with that cause now I know it. When I joined I thought I would do ok with occasional meets..man was I wrong. 3 years of rejection and nothing. Is what it is🤷🏽♂️"
I’ve heard /read from many other forum threads…most folk advise getting yourself to socials. That face to face interaction might be what helps? Always worth a try, maybe you’re just lost amongst all the other fabbers so at least at a social it’s more interactive  |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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I have changed and so has the site over the years.
I have a lot better dealing with the the negative side to this site which is good as there is a lot more of it now.
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Not fab as such but the lifestyle in general! Before I came in the scene I was a lot more shy than I am now. Not long after I started I was amazed that me and my fwb would play with people so freely near enough e ery visit to abfab resulted in some form of play. This website didn't exist. I came off the scene for a short while and when I came back I still had relative success at meeting people.
Then someone suggested fab swingers, this website trains you to have thick skin because the level of rejection is high. After a little while I just got used to it.
I now find clubs harder work, wether this because of this site and others like it or it's just the nature of it, but I find more and more people are at clubs in groups of people they already know, I don't want to use the word clique! Those not in groups especially newbies are sometimes difficult to approach. Then there are the single guys who gawp and follow without sounding much of a hello. That being said I still love the scene and don't want to ever stop. |
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By *oneyDukesCouple 19 weeks ago
The Pleasure Dome. |
Positives. - I’m
Much more okay with my fantasies and kinks and my selfish wants. I found fab to be a good place to find that certain taboos are not so much out there as I thought they were, it’s a shame we can’t talk about them anymore
*sideward glance to the camera….
Negatives - some people can take the kids out if you if you give them half a chance on here. Sadly.
Woody  |
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"Positives. - I’m
Much more okay with my fantasies and kinks and my selfish wants. I found fab to be a good place to find that certain taboos are not so much out there as I thought they were, it’s a shame we can’t talk about them anymore
*sideward glance to the camera….
Negatives - some people can take the kids out if you if you give them half a chance on here. Sadly.
Woody "
Why can’t we talk about them? I always like talking all things kink/fantasises  |
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"Nah I’m the same as always, never took shit from anyone and always been thick skinned, why should this place change me  "
But it could change in a good way too….. I wasn’t just meaning negative … or it could just change outlook or how you look at things in a different way. |
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"Nah I’m the same as always, never took shit from anyone and always been thick skinned, why should this place change me
But it could change in a good way too….. I wasn’t just meaning negative … or it could just change outlook or how you look at things in a different way. "
Nope won’t change anything 🤣 |
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I’ve discovered the “green light” to express myself in a way I was hesitant to before.
Having seen the wild array of body types (here & clubs) and the different people that live them has given me a confidence boost. I was never shy, but now I’m actually confident.
I change weekly I think depending on my interactions. This week I’m totally sick of being nice. The negativity I’ve received has been disheartening.
On the whole I’m still me. And will remain genuine. I’ve just had a few small changes, which I think are natural when you’re in a new environment. Starting a new job has changed me too - different experiences and people around you will change your outlook.
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By *nn_JamesCouple 19 weeks ago
Berkshire / South Bucks |
Would like to say No Fabs hasn't changed us whatsoever but getting older definitely has. Thus, everyday life experiences which would include the swinging scene consequently have shaped us in some way.
[Hope this makes sense] |
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"Nah I’m the same as always, never took shit from anyone and always been thick skinned, why should this place change me
But it could change in a good way too….. I wasn’t just meaning negative … or it could just change outlook or how you look at things in a different way.
Nope won’t change anything 🤣"
Okay 😁 |
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"I’ve discovered the “green light” to express myself in a way I was hesitant to before.
Having seen the wild array of body types (here & clubs) and the different people that live them has given me a confidence boost. I was never shy, but now I’m actually confident.
I change weekly I think depending on my interactions. This week I’m totally sick of being nice. The negativity I’ve received has been disheartening.
On the whole I’m still me. And will remain genuine. I’ve just had a few small changes, which I think are natural when you’re in a new environment. Starting a new job has changed me too - different experiences and people around you will change your outlook.
"
I love this. Embracing the new and discovering more.
I feel similar as I have a lot of new going on at the moment so with all that changes occur
Keep on enjoying |
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By *irthandgirthMan 19 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"It's also totally kicked the shit out of my ego. Even though I really like me I realise I'm not attractive at all in fab world. I good with that cause now I know it. When I joined I thought I would do ok with occasional meets..man was I wrong. 3 years of rejection and nothing. Is what it is🤷🏽♂️
I’ve heard /read from many other forum threads…most folk advise getting yourself to socials. That face to face interaction might be what helps? Always worth a try, maybe you’re just lost amongst all the other fabbers so at least at a social it’s more interactive "
I have stopped attending socials. One of the main reasons is that I find because I am pretty confident talking to people, I always get guys who are less confident practically sitting on my shoulder to insert themselves on the periphery of the conversation without the decency to even talk to me first. It feels like they are waiting for scraps, or to try and 'snipe' |
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"It's also totally kicked the shit out of my ego. Even though I really like me I realise I'm not attractive at all in fab world. I good with that cause now I know it. When I joined I thought I would do ok with occasional meets..man was I wrong. 3 years of rejection and nothing. Is what it is🤷🏽♂️
I’ve heard /read from many other forum threads…most folk advise getting yourself to socials. That face to face interaction might be what helps? Always worth a try, maybe you’re just lost amongst all the other fabbers so at least at a social it’s more interactive
I have stopped attending socials. One of the main reasons is that I find because I am pretty confident talking to people, I always get guys who are less confident practically sitting on my shoulder to insert themselves on the periphery of the conversation without the decency to even talk to me first. It feels like they are waiting for scraps, or to try and 'snipe'"
Ah okay…shame it feels that way…. |
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A bit jaded really. Been on a year. Much much much harder work than I thought.
Whilst I appreciate unicorn chasing was A)always going to be difficult and B) many couples are in the same boat what I wasn't prepared for was the amount of people who are straight up fake, through to time wasters through to fickle.
If it's this bad for a reasonably attractive couple (feel free to disagree...) lord knows how single men cope.
Must need to develop a very thick skin very quicky  |
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"It's also totally kicked the shit out of my ego. Even though I really like me I realise I'm not attractive at all in fab world. I good with that cause now I know it. When I joined I thought I would do ok with occasional meets..man was I wrong. 3 years of rejection and nothing. Is what it is🤷🏽♂️"
Polite question, then why are you still here? (And can understand if the answer is just for the forum or habit - genuinely not having a dig, just curious) |
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