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Mental Health - Therapy: does it work?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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Sorry if this is the wrong subforum, mods please move it to adequate one if if that's the case.
Premise 1 - I have no bias whatsoever against therapy.
Premise 2 - I'm a big supporter of mental health and have been a mental health advisor for quite a few companies I've worked for (for those unaware, it's like a first-aider, but for mental health).
Premise 3 - This is totally judgment free, please keep it so. 🤍
So in my life, out of all my friends/acquaintances/relatives, I personally know and am fairly close to more than 30 people who regularly attend therapy (of different kinds), and have done so for at least 5 years consecutively. And this is excluding the people I've seen as a mental health advisor.
(Surely more than 30 do, but I am not that close to them or privy to that information)
Here's what got me wondering: of all these people, I can't think of a single one who is, from an outside perspective , better off for it. They all still have the same issues they had before, or worse.
So I wonder, what's the point? Does it actually work? Do they just "feel" they are better off, like a placebo effect (and that's what matters)?
Has anyone witnessed any first or second hand success stories with therapy, that they are comfortable sharing (privately, if that's the case)?
Again, this is out of sheer curiosity. Thanks all in advance for reading and/or chipping in. |
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It not necessarily about removing the issues, it can be helping to cope better.
Are you saying that all those people are in exactly the same place they were when they started going or, maybe, still externally in the same place? |
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I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own. I think the therapists weren't very experienced and were just repeating techniques they'd been taught and when they didn't work for me they were lost. And despite spilling my guts out to them, they clearly didn't understand me at all.
BUT it seems to work for other people and I'd still recommend seeking help if you're struggling as it may well work for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"It not necessarily about removing the issues, it can be helping to cope better.
Are you saying that all those people are in exactly the same place they were when they started going or, maybe, still externally in the same place?"
I don't fully know how they are internally, although I have "glimpses", because I'm quite close with most of them. But, from an "external", objective perspective, they certainly are not doing better, and are still falling for the same pitfalls that they were trying to avoid through therapy (insecurity, emotional trauma, unhealthy coping mechanisms, low self esteem, you name it). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"
BUT it seems to work for other people and I'd still recommend seeking help if you're struggling as it may well work for you."
This used to be my policy too, "if it works for you, do it", but I'm starting to wonder if it does, in the light of my (admittedly limited, I'm aware) observations. |
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I've been going to therapy for the past year or so now.
It took some trial and error to find the right therapy and the right therapist for me.
But, the one I have, does help me. I know he often feels like he doesn't and that it's almost like I just go down there to argue about the most stupid things.
But I appreciate the outside perspective. I like knowing that this is one source I can bounce my thoughts off who doesn't have trying to not hurt my feelings or lower their chances of sleeping with me as a factor in how they respond.
It usually takes a few days for what he's said to gestate in my hindbrain and actually process through.
I absolutely have my own emotional support junkie and excellent friends who would do their best to help me through. But it's different. |
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I wonder how those people would be doing now if they'd had no therapy at all, OP?
I've had a lot of therapy over the years, of various kinds, and can 100% say that without it I'd not exist now.
Some of it didn't work for me. Psychotherapy was self-indulgent naval-gazing IMO, and CBT on its own was feeble and ineffective. DBT and ACT were amazing and helped me process trauma and reframe how I perceive things in a way that enabled me to move forward. I've gone from survivor to thriver.
Obviously, this is just one person's experience, and for every success story there will probably be the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I wonder how those people would be doing now if they'd had no therapy at all, OP?"
Good point. It's a Schroedinger's thing, really, because I can't possibly know how they'd be doing it they had NOT gone to therapy. Thank you for the perspective. |
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By *YDB75Man 19 weeks ago
East Yorkie |
For me its just talking to someone who has no emotional connection. It helps me to get soldiers in order.
Now my M/H problems arnt severe like some others may have but at times my own brain just tries to trip me up and I need a rational thought to bring it back in line.
So yes its certainly helped me by just being able to say to someone no not really when the ask if im ok
Also becoming a M/H first aider has helped as well |
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"I've been going to therapy for the past year or so now.
It took some trial and error to find the right therapy and the right therapist for me.
But, the one I have, does help me. I know he often feels like he doesn't and that it's almost like I just go down there to argue about the most stupid things.
But I appreciate the outside perspective. I like knowing that this is one source I can bounce my thoughts off who doesn't have trying to not hurt my feelings or lower their chances of sleeping with me as a factor in how they respond.
It usually takes a few days for what he's said to gestate in my hindbrain and actually process through.
I absolutely have my own emotional support junkie and excellent friends who would do their best to help me through. But it's different."
I think this is a great point about finding the right type of therapy and the right therapist for you. It is absolutely not a one size fits all type of thing. |
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Working inside the services! Therapy is not a fix, it’s a way of coping and learning to understand yourself and your reactions to things.
There are several points to be aware of, therapy will not work for everyone, there’s different types and the relationship with the therapist is vital as well!
It’s also about being in the right place for therapy, not everyone is ready for it when it starts
Also it’s the work between sessions and practice that is the hard work rather than the sessions themselves!
I have seen amazing results for people changing their lives! But I’ve also seen it take several attempts to get there!
Therapy will not be for everyone and some people the therapy can be more distressing. So it’s always an option and even if therapy isn’t the answer always reach out for help |
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"Working inside the services! Therapy is not a fix, it’s a way of coping and learning to understand yourself and your reactions to things.
There are several points to be aware of, therapy will not work for everyone, there’s different types and the relationship with the therapist is vital as well!
It’s also about being in the right place for therapy, not everyone is ready for it when it starts
Also it’s the work between sessions and practice that is the hard work rather than the sessions themselves!
I have seen amazing results for people changing their lives! But I’ve also seen it take several attempts to get there!
Therapy will not be for everyone and some people the therapy can be more distressing. So it’s always an option and even if therapy isn’t the answer always reach out for help "
💖💖💖 |
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"Sorry if this is the wrong subforum, mods please move it to adequate one if if that's the case.
Premise 1 - I have no bias whatsoever against therapy.
Premise 2 - I'm a big supporter of mental health and have been a mental health advisor for quite a few companies I've worked for (for those unaware, it's like a first-aider, but for mental health).
Premise 3 - This is totally judgment free, please keep it so. 🤍
So in my life, out of all my friends/acquaintances/relatives, I personally know and am fairly close to more than 30 people who regularly attend therapy (of different kinds), and have done so for at least 5 years consecutively. And this is excluding the people I've seen as a mental health advisor.
(Surely more than 30 do, but I am not that close to them or privy to that information)
Here's what got me wondering: of all these people, I can't think of a single one who is, from an outside perspective , better off for it. They all still have the same issues they had before, or worse.
So I wonder, what's the point? Does it actually work? Do they just "feel" they are better off, like a placebo effect (and that's what matters)?
Has anyone witnessed any first or second hand success stories with therapy, that they are comfortable sharing (privately, if that's the case)?
Again, this is out of sheer curiosity. Thanks all in advance for reading and/or chipping in."
Great post op. And very worthy of discussion. I've had "therapy" for best part of 10 years and also chemical assistance at times. Have to say with one exception it really didn't help. Whether that's because it was the wrong therapy with the wrong person and the wrong patient I don't know. I do think finding the right therapy with the right expert is nearly impossible. Did we have a mental health welfare crisis 100 years ago? What are we doing differently now that has caused it and so many sad troubled people that are told they need therapy or feel they need therapy? |
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"Working inside the services! Therapy is not a fix, it’s a way of coping and learning to understand yourself and your reactions to things.
There are several points to be aware of, therapy will not work for everyone, there’s different types and the relationship with the therapist is vital as well!
It’s also about being in the right place for therapy, not everyone is ready for it when it starts
Also it’s the work between sessions and practice that is the hard work rather than the sessions themselves!
I have seen amazing results for people changing their lives! But I’ve also seen it take several attempts to get there!
Therapy will not be for everyone and some people the therapy can be more distressing. So it’s always an option and even if therapy isn’t the answer always reach out for help "
This post is so important, especially the part about doing the work in between sessions and how it can take several attempts to get there.
I've seen a lot of people get frustrated and despondent because 6 weeks or 6 months of therapy didn't do what they'd hoped. You can always go back.
It took me 10 years, on and off.
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Therapy worked for me.
It took me a long time to seek treatment. It had to be the right timing where I was in a place where I felt I could confront those memories and experiences and where I wanted to work towards healing. I would say even though I am no longer in therapy the effects of therapy stay with me. Help me. But it is me doing the work and it wouldn't have worked if I hadn't done all the vital work towards getting to where I am now.
It was brutal. I was in therapy for almost a year and had two sessions a week. I saw a licensed psychotherapist who specialised in what I needed to help. At first, I was clueless about my own emotions and reasons for reacting how I did, I couldn't see the connections from my day to day life with things I'd experienced in the past. Slowly, over time, I was able to work out the connections on my own. But in the (relatively) short period of time I was in therapy I would say that nearly everything about me changed. I gained confidence, was able to see how my experiences in childhood and relationships with those closest to me has shaped me as an adult. I started becoming more assertive, putting in boundaries and accepting myself for who I am.
I am not shy in my life about telling people that therapy has changed and saved my life. |
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"Working inside the services! Therapy is not a fix, it’s a way of coping and learning to understand yourself and your reactions to things.
There are several points to be aware of, therapy will not work for everyone, there’s different types and the relationship with the therapist is vital as well!
It’s also about being in the right place for therapy, not everyone is ready for it when it starts
Also it’s the work between sessions and practice that is the hard work rather than the sessions themselves!
I have seen amazing results for people changing their lives! But I’ve also seen it take several attempts to get there!
Therapy will not be for everyone and some people the therapy can be more distressing. So it’s always an option and even if therapy isn’t the answer always reach out for help "
❤️❤️❤️ |
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Therapy is a slow burn, not like popping pills. And you need to find one that's right for you. This idea out there that CBT works for everyone needs to die.
It took me a very long time to find the right therapy for me, and to work through the issues I've had. Well over a decade, partly because CBT was like kissing a gunshot wound better (for me).
Therapy is probably the reason I'm alive today, and is certainly why I have any quality of life to speak of. |
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I've had different kinds of therapy on a few occasions in the past.
First one I was basically dragged kicking and screaming to by my University, I sort of just went to tick the boxes and keep others happy. Sort of just went through the motions, did what I had to do to "pass" and then went back to my self destructive old self.
Again was dragged kicking and screaming to therapy this time by University friends and the University but with a different therapist, long story short some tough love and blunt questions from them kicked me in ass and sort of taught me how to cope and I've not been that bad since and not actually gone down that path now in years.
I think mental health isn't a simple "do this, it'll help" you have to find what works for you. |
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"Sorry if this is the wrong subforum, mods please move it to adequate one if if that's the case.
Premise 1 - I have no bias whatsoever against therapy.
Premise 2 - I'm a big supporter of mental health and have been a mental health advisor for quite a few companies I've worked for (for those unaware, it's like a first-aider, but for mental health).
Premise 3 - This is totally judgment free, please keep it so. 🤍
So in my life, out of all my friends/acquaintances/relatives, I personally know and am fairly close to more than 30 people who regularly attend therapy (of different kinds), and have done so for at least 5 years consecutively. And this is excluding the people I've seen as a mental health advisor.
(Surely more than 30 do, but I am not that close to them or privy to that information)
Here's what got me wondering: of all these people, I can't think of a single one who is, from an outside perspective , better off for it. They all still have the same issues they had before, or worse.
So I wonder, what's the point? Does it actually work? Do they just "feel" they are better off, like a placebo effect (and that's what matters)?
Has anyone witnessed any first or second hand success stories with therapy, that they are comfortable sharing (privately, if that's the case)?
Again, this is out of sheer curiosity. Thanks all in advance for reading and/or chipping in."
I got one through work for 8 weeks!
It’s not like a fix or anything like that it’s more they allow you to talk through things and help you identify the problem hopefully!
They should give coping mechanisms to help you deal with things!
Hope this helps |
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By *irthandgirthMan 19 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
I've had several rounds of therapy/counselling over the years. I think it can be healthy to have what is essentially a MH MOT. I have done it when coming out of relationships to make sure that any unresolved issues are talked over and reflected/worked on, so I would be in a better place if/when I got into another relationship.
I have found that there is varying degrees of success and it can be as tricky to find the right therapist as the therapy itself. My last one was a disaster and I left, very unfulfilled.
Personally I have found that short bursts of therapy were far more productive than open ended professional relationships. After a few sessions I was finding myself trying to think of things to talk about between sessions, which wasn't productive.
I do feel that a lot of therapy is less effective for males than females. I have seen a lot of online discussions about this, which makes it more important for men to find the right therapist that can connect with them. |
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"Working inside the services! Therapy is not a fix, it’s a way of coping and learning to understand yourself and your reactions to things.
There are several points to be aware of, therapy will not work for everyone, there’s different types and the relationship with the therapist is vital as well!
It’s also about being in the right place for therapy, not everyone is ready for it when it starts
Also it’s the work between sessions and practice that is the hard work rather than the sessions themselves!
I have seen amazing results for people changing their lives! But I’ve also seen it take several attempts to get there!
Therapy will not be for everyone and some people the therapy can be more distressing. So it’s always an option and even if therapy isn’t the answer always reach out for help
This post is so important, especially the part about doing the work in between sessions and how it can take several attempts to get there.
I've seen a lot of people get frustrated and despondent because 6 weeks or 6 months of therapy didn't do what they'd hoped. You can always go back.
It took me 10 years, on and off.
"
That was just the point though. I had 6 weeks of cbt with a lady who really worked for me... Started to make some realistic progress and I was cut off because all the nhs offered was 6 weeks sessions. So I crashed badly took 18 months to get access again and was directed to a different therapist and those sessions turned out to be counter productive.... So "you can always go back" wasn't true in my case. I wish it had been as if I'd managed to spend another 6 months with the effective therapist I may have had a much more positive outcome. |
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By *MFSMan 19 weeks ago
St Albans(ish) |
I'm my own pwrsonal experience, counselors have certain paradigms and clients are expected to conform to those, rather than the counsellors fitting their methods to the client.
Of the friends I know have have seen counsellors, none of them have really resolved their issues. |
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"Working inside the services! Therapy is not a fix, it’s a way of coping and learning to understand yourself and your reactions to things.
There are several points to be aware of, therapy will not work for everyone, there’s different types and the relationship with the therapist is vital as well!
It’s also about being in the right place for therapy, not everyone is ready for it when it starts
Also it’s the work between sessions and practice that is the hard work rather than the sessions themselves!
I have seen amazing results for people changing their lives! But I’ve also seen it take several attempts to get there!
Therapy will not be for everyone and some people the therapy can be more distressing. So it’s always an option and even if therapy isn’t the answer always reach out for help
This post is so important, especially the part about doing the work in between sessions and how it can take several attempts to get there.
I've seen a lot of people get frustrated and despondent because 6 weeks or 6 months of therapy didn't do what they'd hoped. You can always go back.
It took me 10 years, on and off.
That was just the point though. I had 6 weeks of cbt with a lady who really worked for me... Started to make some realistic progress and I was cut off because all the nhs offered was 6 weeks sessions. So I crashed badly took 18 months to get access again and was directed to a different therapist and those sessions turned out to be counter productive.... So "you can always go back" wasn't true in my case. I wish it had been as if I'd managed to spend another 6 months with the effective therapist I may have had a much more positive outcome. "
Unfortunately therapy is extremely rationed under the NHS. I went private. |
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"I'm my own pwrsonal experience, counselors have certain paradigms and clients are expected to conform to those, rather than the counsellors fitting their methods to the client.
Of the friends I know have have seen counsellors, none of them have really resolved their issues."
I think that's broadly true - I lucked out with my last couple of therapists, they had paradigms within their arsenal which gelled with me. |
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By *a LunaWoman 19 weeks ago
South Wales |
"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own. "
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened 
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none. |
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Therapy never worked for me. I went down the route of natural healing more specifically clay and that did work.
I had 3 traumatic events happen to me as a teenager. The clay healing helped me to understand which one had affected me the most and I've worked on dealing with that which helped put the 2 other events into perspective meaning I could deal with those too. |
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By *irthandgirthMan 19 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"I'm my own pwrsonal experience, counselors have certain paradigms and clients are expected to conform to those, rather than the counsellors fitting their methods to the client.
Of the friends I know have have seen counsellors, none of them have really resolved their issues."
I went to my last therapist to talk about relationships after a breakup. She wanted to know who the real me was, trying to disentangle it from 22 years military and over 30 years martial arts. I'm sorry, but after that long they are part of my damn DNA.
After 10 weeks she told me she 'didn't know who I was'.
Madam, I've been telling you who I am for weeks. I don't think this is working. |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none."
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous. |
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I've had a couple of different CBT sessions for different things. Both times it was suggested, I didn't expect it to be effective and was pleasantly surprised.
It wasn't about fixing the issues, it was about understanding what I was feeling was perfectly normal, having someone on the outside who didn't judge to listen to me rant and finding ways to cope with what was going on which was out of my control.
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"Sorry if this is the wrong subforum, mods please move it to adequate one if if that's the case.
Premise 1 - I have no bias whatsoever against therapy.
Premise 2 - I'm a big supporter of mental health and have been a mental health advisor for quite a few companies I've worked for (for those unaware, it's like a first-aider, but for mental health).
Premise 3 - This is totally judgment free, please keep it so. 🤍
So in my life, out of all my friends/acquaintances/relatives, I personally know and am fairly close to more than 30 people who regularly attend therapy (of different kinds), and have done so for at least 5 years consecutively. And this is excluding the people I've seen as a mental health advisor.
(Surely more than 30 do, but I am not that close to them or privy to that information)
Here's what got me wondering: of all these people, I can't think of a single one who is, from an outside perspective , better off for it. They all still have the same issues they had before, or worse.
So I wonder, what's the point? Does it actually work? Do they just "feel" they are better off, like a placebo effect (and that's what matters)?
Has anyone witnessed any first or second hand success stories with therapy, that they are comfortable sharing (privately, if that's the case)?
Again, this is out of sheer curiosity. Thanks all in advance for reading and/or chipping in."
What are you gauging as better off... Just because you are maintaining something means you actually are "better off" than waiting until something breaks or worse just ignoring something until it becomes a danger to others.
Simpler terms you service your car to prevent serious other issues. Therapy is just that. Yeah you might need a new spark plug or tire along the way but try never putting petrol or doing anything and see how long that car lasts..
Just because you are looking at them from the outside on a one off isolated situation..ie at dinner at their the weekend doesn't mean you are aware of what they had to deal with during the week that they applied the resources they learned in therapy to be able to cope/function in order to see you on the weekend..
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous. "
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience. |
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It's going to depend on the people and their issues, the therapy as well as their goals from therapy.
The research evidence is good that many people can gain significant help from therapy. The range of therapy is very diverse and people will have their own preferences as well as constraints, like budgets.
The Samaritans provides a crisis type counselling service and, I'm certain, it's helped many at times of their darkest needs. It's unclear whether the OP is covering psychotherapy or everything, including counselling, which is more reflective, rather than goal centered.
It's worth educating yourself on many of the most popular types, so that you know what they are about, as well as the research evidence behind them.
Ultimately, someone may have conflicting desires. They may want to change but they have a deepseated reason that they are living as they are, so therapy may lead to greater self awareness and choice. But it's not like precision surgery, for cancer, where something may be removed.
Plus people are social creatures, we're involved with others and are influenced by our environments, including circumstances and people.
People deserve compassion and it can be very hard to grasp their needs and issues. And it will be especially true, if you're not their therapist. For many, earning trust can be something that's not very immediate and they have to get that only at the right time and pace that their clients choose.
The snapping of fingers, to get an immediate 'fix' is unrealistic and represents an archaic perception of people being broken and not knowing what's right for them and how to be different.
Many physical issues can be similar, where people live without being medically cured. |
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It worked for me (kept me alive) and of the 3 others I know who did it, they all benefited from it.
Mine took a few attempts to get the best one but they were all better than nothing.
Everyone is different though, and while some people tried to help by saying I should go for a brisk walk or get some exercise, both of them failed. Several times it made things much worse.
One therapist told me that ideally you’d have counselling when you were in a good place because some of it is difficult. Unfortunately what we all do is wait until things are as bad as they can be and then try it.
I hope anyone who needs help, finds the best solution for themselves. |
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"It worked for me (kept me alive) and of the 3 others I know who did it, they all benefited from it.
Mine took a few attempts to get the best one but they were all better than nothing.
Everyone is different though, and while some people tried to help by saying I should go for a brisk walk or get some exercise, both of them failed. Several times it made things much worse.
One therapist told me that ideally you’d have counselling when you were in a good place because some of it is difficult. Unfortunately what we all do is wait until things are as bad as they can be and then try it.
I hope anyone who needs help, finds the best solution for themselves."
I find the exercising trope really annoying when it comes to mental health.
Exercise has been shown to improve mental health. Fact. Therefore (so they say) if you get off your arse and exercise, you won't need therapy.
I mean that's cute and all, but no, absolutely not. Exercise can in the short term exacerbate things like anxiety (because physical exertion feels like anxiety, it's a negative feedback loop). Some of the symptoms of depression make exercising almost impossible. A lot of mental health issues are beyond the point where these truisms are helpful on their own.
But because everything is so shallow these days, people say "oh, you obviously didn't exercise, because you've got mental health problems" and just blame you.
It's all a bit shit. |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous.
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience."
Glad it worked for you.
Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.? |
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"Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.? "
Yes, but I got private therapy because I couldn’t wait so it goes on until you’re finished (or skint) |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous.
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience.
Glad it worked for you.
Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.? "
Indeed.
But this is why we should fight for the NHS. So that more people can get the help they need.
Six weeks for trauma is just beginning to let the trauma out. |
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By *oobaaMan 19 weeks ago
South Shields |
Therapy didnt work for me and I had to end it as It was so upsetting to me.
I had a CPN who told me that I had gone as far as I could with her so she referred me for Therapy.
It was truely awful.
After each session I would literally sit in the car for hours crying my eyes out.
It was too much for me
I have a fantastic councillor who I can message and she will get back to me very quickly.
But, best of all, I have a friend who has stepped up.
We talk alot and we ve realised we have so much in common...she has suffered the same as I have so we listen to each other and know what each of us is going through. |
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By *irthandgirthMan 19 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"It worked for me (kept me alive) and of the 3 others I know who did it, they all benefited from it.
Mine took a few attempts to get the best one but they were all better than nothing.
Everyone is different though, and while some people tried to help by saying I should go for a brisk walk or get some exercise, both of them failed. Several times it made things much worse.
One therapist told me that ideally you’d have counselling when you were in a good place because some of it is difficult. Unfortunately what we all do is wait until things are as bad as they can be and then try it.
I hope anyone who needs help, finds the best solution for themselves.
I find the exercising trope really annoying when it comes to mental health.
Exercise has been shown to improve mental health. Fact. Therefore (so they say) if you get off your arse and exercise, you won't need therapy.
I mean that's cute and all, but no, absolutely not. Exercise can in the short term exacerbate things like anxiety (because physical exertion feels like anxiety, it's a negative feedback loop). Some of the symptoms of depression make exercising almost impossible. A lot of mental health issues are beyond the point where these truisms are helpful on their own.
But because everything is so shallow these days, people say "oh, you obviously didn't exercise, because you've got mental health problems" and just blame you.
It's all a bit shit."
Exercise can be a sticking plaster that allows one to apply focus and free up some mental space and provide lovely nice endorphins in a constructive manner.
Exercise won't address the root or ongoing issue causing the need for therapy. Unless the cause is that you are unfit and need a healthy hobby. |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous.
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience.
Glad it worked for you.
Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.?
Indeed.
But this is why we should fight for the NHS. So that more people can get the help they need.
Six weeks for trauma is just beginning to let the trauma out."
When I enquired for help with trauma through the NHS, I got told they weren't equipped to deal with that and to look at other alternatives meaning private or charities etc. I'd already started opening up about things with the counsellor and didn't want to start from the beginning so never took that any further. They helped with some other stuff though. |
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"It worked for me (kept me alive) and of the 3 others I know who did it, they all benefited from it.
Mine took a few attempts to get the best one but they were all better than nothing.
Everyone is different though, and while some people tried to help by saying I should go for a brisk walk or get some exercise, both of them failed. Several times it made things much worse.
One therapist told me that ideally you’d have counselling when you were in a good place because some of it is difficult. Unfortunately what we all do is wait until things are as bad as they can be and then try it.
I hope anyone who needs help, finds the best solution for themselves.
I find the exercising trope really annoying when it comes to mental health.
Exercise has been shown to improve mental health. Fact. Therefore (so they say) if you get off your arse and exercise, you won't need therapy.
I mean that's cute and all, but no, absolutely not. Exercise can in the short term exacerbate things like anxiety (because physical exertion feels like anxiety, it's a negative feedback loop). Some of the symptoms of depression make exercising almost impossible. A lot of mental health issues are beyond the point where these truisms are helpful on their own.
But because everything is so shallow these days, people say "oh, you obviously didn't exercise, because you've got mental health problems" and just blame you.
It's all a bit shit.
Exercise can be a sticking plaster that allows one to apply focus and free up some mental space and provide lovely nice endorphins in a constructive manner.
Exercise won't address the root or ongoing issue causing the need for therapy. Unless the cause is that you are unfit and need a healthy hobby."
Agreed. But people act like it's the cure, when at best it's a great adjunct (if you have real mental health problems. If you're just a bit wired or a bit blue, knock yourself out) |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous.
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience.
Glad it worked for you.
Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.?
Indeed.
But this is why we should fight for the NHS. So that more people can get the help they need.
Six weeks for trauma is just beginning to let the trauma out."
Well I'm not sure fighting for something that clearly in this case is not up to the job doesn't add up to me. Signposting people to the best resources , along with helping them, holding their hand as necessary to do the rework in good time would be a great place to start.Whether that be nhs or private or volunteer. Throwing more money to something that doesn't do a great job makes no sense to me. |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous.
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience.
Glad it worked for you.
Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.?
Indeed.
But this is why we should fight for the NHS. So that more people can get the help they need.
Six weeks for trauma is just beginning to let the trauma out.
Well I'm not sure fighting for something that clearly in this case is not up to the job doesn't add up to me. Signposting people to the best resources , along with helping them, holding their hand as necessary to do the rework in good time would be a great place to start.Whether that be nhs or private or volunteer. Throwing more money to something that doesn't do a great job makes no sense to me. "
How do you judge "does not do a great job"?
Therapy is essential for many people to deal with trauma. Just not very short term therapy.
Are you saying your experience is bad, therefore we shouldn't help people with problems with what we know works?
Let's apply that to cancer, too. My grandmother had cancer, died anyway, let's go all Liz Truss and defund cancer treatments  |
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"It worked for me (kept me alive) and of the 3 others I know who did it, they all benefited from it.
Mine took a few attempts to get the best one but they were all better than nothing.
Everyone is different though, and while some people tried to help by saying I should go for a brisk walk or get some exercise, both of them failed. Several times it made things much worse.
One therapist told me that ideally you’d have counselling when you were in a good place because some of it is difficult. Unfortunately what we all do is wait until things are as bad as they can be and then try it.
I hope anyone who needs help, finds the best solution for themselves.
I find the exercising trope really annoying when it comes to mental health.
Exercise has been shown to improve mental health. Fact. Therefore (so they say) if you get off your arse and exercise, you won't need therapy.
I mean that's cute and all, but no, absolutely not. Exercise can in the short term exacerbate things like anxiety (because physical exertion feels like anxiety, it's a negative feedback loop). Some of the symptoms of depression make exercising almost impossible. A lot of mental health issues are beyond the point where these truisms are helpful on their own.
But because everything is so shallow these days, people say "oh, you obviously didn't exercise, because you've got mental health problems" and just blame you.
It's all a bit shit.
Exercise can be a sticking plaster that allows one to apply focus and free up some mental space and provide lovely nice endorphins in a constructive manner.
Exercise won't address the root or ongoing issue causing the need for therapy. Unless the cause is that you are unfit and need a healthy hobby.
Agreed. But people act like it's the cure, when at best it's a great adjunct (if you have real mental health problems. If you're just a bit wired or a bit blue, knock yourself out)"
Too many people want to simplify complexity, beyond their level of understanding even the basics of something. That's if they're not some others who like to ascribe blame very readily |
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"It worked for me (kept me alive) and of the 3 others I know who did it, they all benefited from it.
Mine took a few attempts to get the best one but they were all better than nothing.
Everyone is different though, and while some people tried to help by saying I should go for a brisk walk or get some exercise, both of them failed. Several times it made things much worse.
One therapist told me that ideally you’d have counselling when you were in a good place because some of it is difficult. Unfortunately what we all do is wait until things are as bad as they can be and then try it.
I hope anyone who needs help, finds the best solution for themselves.
I find the exercising trope really annoying when it comes to mental health.
Exercise has been shown to improve mental health. Fact. Therefore (so they say) if you get off your arse and exercise, you won't need therapy.
I mean that's cute and all, but no, absolutely not. Exercise can in the short term exacerbate things like anxiety (because physical exertion feels like anxiety, it's a negative feedback loop). Some of the symptoms of depression make exercising almost impossible. A lot of mental health issues are beyond the point where these truisms are helpful on their own.
But because everything is so shallow these days, people say "oh, you obviously didn't exercise, because you've got mental health problems" and just blame you.
It's all a bit shit.
Exercise can be a sticking plaster that allows one to apply focus and free up some mental space and provide lovely nice endorphins in a constructive manner.
Exercise won't address the root or ongoing issue causing the need for therapy. Unless the cause is that you are unfit and need a healthy hobby.
Agreed. But people act like it's the cure, when at best it's a great adjunct (if you have real mental health problems. If you're just a bit wired or a bit blue, knock yourself out)
Too many people want to simplify complexity, beyond their level of understanding even the basics of something. That's if they're not some others who like to ascribe blame very readily "
Indeed. This stuff is hard. |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous.
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience.
Glad it worked for you.
Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.?
Indeed.
But this is why we should fight for the NHS. So that more people can get the help they need.
Six weeks for trauma is just beginning to let the trauma out.
Well I'm not sure fighting for something that clearly in this case is not up to the job doesn't add up to me. Signposting people to the best resources , along with helping them, holding their hand as necessary to do the rework in good time would be a great place to start.Whether that be nhs or private or volunteer. Throwing more money to something that doesn't do a great job makes no sense to me.
How do you judge "does not do a great job"?
Therapy is essential for many people to deal with trauma. Just not very short term therapy.
Are you saying your experience is bad, therefore we shouldn't help people with problems with what we know works?
Let's apply that to cancer, too. My grandmother had cancer, died anyway, let's go all Liz Truss and defund cancer treatments "
As i stated. I only have my personal experiences to judge, so that's what I use. How do you judge it? |
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"I have had three rounds of short-term (10 week) therapy/counselling, each with a different person. Didn't make any positive impact, in fact in some ways it made things worse by stirring stuff up and then just leaving me to deal with it on my own.
A work colleague has said this. In fact he had to go on stronger medication because of the pts it re-awakened
I’m sure it works for some though. Which is better than none.
I can echo that for me and a very close friend. It really really took her to a nasty place. I mean really nasty. And then for her to get any further help she was given a 32 page questionnaire to complete and failure to do so resulted in her not getting any further access to help. 18 months later she's managed to get better enough to feel able to take on the questionnaire and re enter the triage process.
With only my own experiences to work from but it feels a but like there are some well meaning enthusiasts attempting to make people better without really having sufficient skills or experience to do so...and in some cases it may work and in others it seems it can be quite dangerous.
Yes, I really dislike the fact there is no protected term status for people who engage in psychotherapy. It makes it difficult to find the right kind of people.
Drawing out trauma certainly makes things worse, but within a safe relationship it can then make it better. Speaking from experience.
Glad it worked for you.
Presumably the relationship ends when safe to do so though and not after 6 weeks because some knob in the nhs says 6 weeks is all people are allowed to have.?
Indeed.
But this is why we should fight for the NHS. So that more people can get the help they need.
Six weeks for trauma is just beginning to let the trauma out.
Well I'm not sure fighting for something that clearly in this case is not up to the job doesn't add up to me. Signposting people to the best resources , along with helping them, holding their hand as necessary to do the rework in good time would be a great place to start.Whether that be nhs or private or volunteer. Throwing more money to something that doesn't do a great job makes no sense to me.
How do you judge "does not do a great job"?
Therapy is essential for many people to deal with trauma. Just not very short term therapy.
Are you saying your experience is bad, therefore we shouldn't help people with problems with what we know works?
Let's apply that to cancer, too. My grandmother had cancer, died anyway, let's go all Liz Truss and defund cancer treatments
As i stated. I only have my personal experiences to judge, so that's what I use. How do you judge it? "
Academic papers, which I believe is the appropriate standard for any medical intervention |
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I fell apart a bit in the wake of my mother's death and resulting family complications. I tried to just cope with it all on my own, but after a few months it became clear that I wasn't actually handling things very well (more or less at the point that I very loudly told my boss, the company owner, in front of all the staff, to stuff his job up his arse and go fuck himself then stormed out...*). I got myself signed off by my doctor and put onto anti-deps, and also managed to get a series of therapy sessions courtesy of a local MH charity.
It was 8 (or maybe 10) sessions of an hour, one-to-one talking with a counsellor. The format worked for me, not to instantly fix me, but to help me come to terms with parts of my personality and to start modifying my responses to the shit that life drops on all of us. It wasn't a case of the counsellor listening to me and giving me advice; all that they did was give me formal situation where I would talk, and a few prompts to steer my monologue in useful directions. It was then me, listening to myself, who started to understand what my problems were, and started finding ways to address them.
At no point did the counsellor tell me any secrets of mental health behaviour, they didn't give me magic answers. I wasn't somehow "fixed" by the end of the last session, but I was in a better position to help myself slowly get better.
It wasn't a format that would work for everybody, but it happened to work pretty well for me.
*Turned out that my boss was a pretty decent bloke, and understanding of my problems. Three months signed off for stress, then let me come back on variable hours of my own choosing while I needed it. I stayed with the company until my retirement last Christmas. |
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It absolutely can work, but like others have said above, it's not a one-size-fits-all.
I've had EMDR therapy for PTSD and it was an amazingly positive experience. Actually doing it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it was life changing.
My ex and I did couples counselling before we split - my ex stopped showing up after only 2 appointments, I carried on seeing the therapist alone and he helped me realise a lot about my situation that I had hidden from myself (self protection). Again, life changing.
Some years later I saw an NHS therapist for talking therapy and CBT. Absolutely awful experience, did not gel with him at all, and overall had a negative effect. Had I been able to afford private at the time, I'd have switched, but I was stuck with my allocated NHS guy. I think CBT is nonsense for me personally, I don't think it works for me because I'm autistic, and I have read that a lot of ND folks have found the same.
A few years after that I tried the NHS route again out of sheer desperation, and instantly clicked with the therapist. Talking therapy again. I was allotted 10 sessions but she extended it to 12 as she felt that was needed. She was absolutely brilliant, and again a massive positive force in my life.
I think for it to work, you have to find a good fit both in terms of the person and the style. And i also think you have to commit to the hard work too, you have to find a way to engage with what's being said/done, for the best effect. |
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