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Terrible Joke Tuesday

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By *ot_Guy999 OP Man 3 weeks ago

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Let's here em!

Give us your worst jokes...

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By *exxyyDy11Man 3 weeks ago

North West

Why don't you want to play Monopoly with a cat?

They tend to be cheetahs.

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By *oeBiggs321Man 3 weeks ago

Reading

Did you hear about the dwarf who got pickpocketed? How could anyone ever stoop so low?

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By *zeroMan 3 weeks ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 27/08/24 18:31:17]

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By *zeroMan 3 weeks ago

Glasgow

I used to have a job crushing pepsi cans.

It was soda pressing.

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By *had_ThunderCockMan 3 weeks ago

Sydney University Wank Bank

Being a man of science I had to offer this;

Q; Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

A: Because they make up everything!

Regards

Chad ThunderCock

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By *erry bull1Man 3 weeks ago

doncaster

Velcro is a rip off

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By *akHeartWoodMan 3 weeks ago

Crawley

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

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By *amantha_NiteTV/TS 3 weeks ago

The beautiful Lake District

Its a hell of a let down...An Elephant's parachute

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By *he_Bad_BunnyMan 3 weeks ago

Cork

Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent!

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By *ot_Guy999 OP Man 3 weeks ago

Close by...

"Velcro is a rip off "

Simple but amusing!

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man 3 weeks ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 27/08/24 19:39:40]

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man 3 weeks ago

Solihull

What do you call a man with no shins ?

Tony 🥴

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By *azkinsWoman 3 weeks ago

leeds

What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head?.

A. Anita.

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By *ampireLoveMan 3 weeks ago

Essex & Bristol

What did the man say in a statement to the thief who stole his Microsoft Office?

“I will find you… you have my word”

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By *ot_Guy999 OP Man 3 weeks ago

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"What did the man say in a statement to the thief who stole his Microsoft Office?

“I will find you… you have my word”"

I feel he would excel...

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By *ampireLoveMan 3 weeks ago

Essex & Bristol

"What did the man say in a statement to the thief who stole his Microsoft Office?

“I will find you… you have my word”

I feel he would excel..."

😂😂😂

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By *ir tootusMan 3 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

My life?

Jokes aside.

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By *racknellboy1971Man 3 weeks ago

Bracknell

Scientists have discovered that there are more aircraft at the bottom of the ocean than there are submarines in the sky

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By *asterMeliodasMan 3 weeks ago

Near Keith

Why are kleptomaniacs useless with metaphors? They always take things literally.

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By *ou345Woman 3 weeks ago

Derby

I have a pet termite called Clint.

Clint eats wood..... 😬

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By *inaTitzTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

A comic called Roger Swift does deliberately bad prop puns and they are absolutely brilliant.

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple 3 weeks ago

Stoke

2 fleas on a dog's bum, one says to the other 'I haven't seen you for a while"

"Ahhh yeah" said the other flea, "I've been in the nick"

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By *ot_Guy999 OP Man 3 weeks ago

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"I have a pet termite called Clint.

Clint eats wood..... 😬"

Haha 😅 terrible!

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By *urbo TedMan 3 weeks ago

Stansted

My dog Minton stole my shuttlecock. Bad Minton.

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By *uriousscouserWoman 3 weeks ago

Wirral

What do you call a man with a plank on his head?

Edward

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?

Edward Woodward

(Bear with me)

What do you call a man with FOUR planks on his head?

I don't know, but Edward Woodward would.

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By *hyguy9iMan 3 weeks ago

Merthyr Tydfil

What sounds like a sneeze and made out of leather?

A shoe

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By *eneralKenobiMan 3 weeks ago

North Angus

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?

Very little

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By *avid and juneCouple 3 weeks ago

Tamworth

My father owned a very successful flea circus.

He started it from scratch.

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By *haveanicevoiceMan 3 weeks ago

Soggy Middle-Earth (Cumbria)

Why did the medium cross the road?.

To get to the other side.

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By *ampireLoveMan 3 weeks ago

Essex & Bristol

Loving these jokes 😂😂😂

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By *haveanicevoiceMan 3 weeks ago

Soggy Middle-Earth (Cumbria)

A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm. The barman asks what he wants, the man replies “A pint and one for the road”.

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By *issBlackedCouple 3 weeks ago

I Travel

Yesterday, I had to drive my car in reverse...that story always takes me back

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By *ampireLoveMan 3 weeks ago

Essex & Bristol

What do you call a man who has lost his car?

Carlos

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By *lue RascalMan 3 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

Tried to share a bag of crisps with the homeless fella in the park last night.

He told me to fuck off and buy my own.

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By *landalfMan 3 weeks ago

Airdrie

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.

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By *lue OpalMan 3 weeks ago

Swansea

A Welshman was counting his sheep.

"205, 206, 207, Hello darling, 208, 209......"

I'm Welsh !

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By *corpioboyMan 3 weeks ago

Glasgow

My mate’s invented an invisible aeroplane…but I can’t see it taking off.

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By *ot_Guy999 OP Man 3 weeks ago

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"Yesterday, I had to drive my car in reverse...that story always takes me back

Haha! Simplicity!

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By *ere for you11Man 3 weeks ago

consett

whats the only 2 things with 4 legs the french wont eat?

table and chair

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By *lue OpalMan 3 weeks ago

Swansea

Why do Welshmen have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs?

So that they push back harder!

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By *uicy 2020Woman 3 weeks ago

London

Some brilliant ones so far 🤣

My nephew was asking all the family to tell him jokes this weekend. He was not impressed with any we could remember that were appropriate for his age, lol

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 3 weeks ago

St Leonards

"What do you call a man with a plank on his head?

Edward

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?

Edward Woodward

(Bear with me)

What do you call a man with FOUR planks on his head?

I don't know, but Edward Woodward would."

Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

Because E war Woo war sounds a bit silly.

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By *ot_Guy999 OP Man 3 weeks ago

Close by...

"What do you call a man with a plank on his head?

Edward

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?

Edward Woodward

(Bear with me)

What do you call a man with FOUR planks on his head?

I don't know, but Edward Woodward would.

Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

Because E war Woo war sounds a bit silly."

Sounds like a children's tv character now.

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By *WANDTGCouple 3 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

What's better than eating a Mandarin ?

Eating Amanda out

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By *ust RachelTV/TS 3 weeks ago

Horsham

A joke is not a dad joke, until it is fully groan...

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