FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I’ve always wondered…
I’ve always wondered…
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Got questions? Ask them here! I bet there will be folk with answers and experiences to share.
One of the things I found most liberating about fab when I first joined was the completely open conversations I could have on the forums. Discussions about poly relationships, ENM, managing emotions, boundaries, sexual practices - anything and everything, within rules of course! So I thought this could be a good space for folk to ask and share without fear of judgement.
Let’s see if it works!
Mrs TMN x
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I’ve always wondered…
"
why my  has to be dragged around the park when I take him for his walks, and yet as soon as he gets back to the house he flies around performing his zoomies? |
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"I’ve always wondered…
why people are so happy to use/own derogatory terms, such as cum dump?  "
Honestly, this is something I’ve mused over a lot. Because in the right situation, with the right person, it’s something I enjoy and find exciting. On the flip side, I’m a feminist. I guess the difference lies in welcoming it rather than having it thrust on you.
On a simpler level, if you like it and nobody is being harmed, why not?
Mrs TMN x |
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Why do people discriminate on age grounds?
It's a protected characteristic just as race , disability, religion etc .. and yet people overlook it and make ageist assumptions, ageist jokes, show assumptive ageist bias, work on ageist stereotypes.
e.g. disliking someone can't be helped but making a reference to age each time they take a cowardly swipe is a deliberate prejudice. |
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I frequently wonder why people get so annoyed/triggered/upset when we say we don't kiss our casual partners on the mouth. Why they feel they need to make unkind comparisons and infer things about our relationship. I don't particularly care that they do this, I just wonder why.
I also wonder what people mean when they say 'like minded' and 'open minded' |
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"Why do people discriminate on age grounds?
It's a protected characteristic just as race , disability, religion etc .. and yet people overlook it and make ageist assumptions, ageist jokes, show assumptive ageist bias, work on ageist stereotypes.
e.g. disliking someone can't be helped but making a reference to age each time they take a cowardly swipe is a deliberate prejudice."
I agree with this.
I'd add why is 'menopausal' often used to insult women? |
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"I frequently wonder why people get so annoyed/triggered/upset when we say we don't kiss our casual partners on the mouth. Why they feel they need to make unkind comparisons and infer things about our relationship. I don't particularly care that they do this, I just wonder why.
I also wonder what people mean when they say 'like minded' and 'open minded'"
I respect if a couple have that rule but probably wouldn't meet them because I love kissing. But there is never an excuse to be unkind. |
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Is a hotdog a sandwich?
Why do blokes have a fascination with women swallowing cum?
Do people find me attractive or interested in me from my profile?
That's mainly what's on my mind today....love this thread though so big up the OP! |
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With no judgement, I’d love to understand why those who play away from home without their partners knowledge, do so. I’m sure it’s not the same reason for all but I’d be curious as to honest answers from those who do and are happy to give insight |
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"Why people think bi guys can't restrain themselves during a meet. 
Yeah this is a weird one to me. Ingrained stereotypes I guess."
It's like when you tell a child not to touch something. You know full well they want to touch it even more as soon as you turn your back on them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"With no judgement, I’d love to understand why those who play away from home without their partners knowledge, do so. I’m sure it’s not the same reason for all but I’d be curious as to honest answers from those who do and are happy to give insight"
I can think of a lot of reasons, such as:
Boredom.
Having made a connection with someone else.
Excitement.
Risk factor.
D*unken mistake.
Opportunity.
Enjoyment.
Punishment. |
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"Is a hotdog a sandwich?
Why do blokes have a fascination with women swallowing cum?
Do people find me attractive or interested in me from my profile?
That's mainly what's on my mind today....love this thread though so big up the OP! "
If the sausage is in bread, it’s a sandwich. If it’s in a hotdog roll, it’s a hotdog  |
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"Why people think bi guys can't restrain themselves during a meet.
Yeah this is a weird one to me. Ingrained stereotypes I guess.
It's like when you tell a child not to touch something. You know full well they want to touch it even more as soon as you turn your back on them."
Oh ha ha. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I’ve always wondered…
"
when the "Official Best Boobs on Fab Thread" was running between Monday and Wednesday, what did people put on their work timesheets for the periods during the day that they were on Fab?
(I think much of Tuesday morning was a right off for me, I may have been compiling a spread sheet of all the participants from Pages 1 and 2 of the thread in order to assess the boobage!) |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I’ve always wondered…
why people are so happy to use/own derogatory terms, such as cum dump? "
It's a term I've used before ...as a term of endearment and genuine affection and love
I appreciate it's not for everyone...and obviously done with consent and them understanding what's behind it..so to speak. |
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"Whatever happened to the rag and bone men? "
They either retired or did something else. Once something becomes unprofitable, voilà?
That type of person still exists and I've met a few, their sheds are fascinating. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I wish they would have something similar again. Always have stuff to get rid off but a lot of charity shops are too selective. Most round my way won't take DVDs anymore. |
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"Why do people discriminate on age grounds?
It's a protected characteristic just as race , disability, religion etc .. and yet people overlook it and make ageist assumptions, ageist jokes, show assumptive ageist bias, work on ageist stereotypes.
e.g. disliking someone can't be helped but making a reference to age each time they take a cowardly swipe is a deliberate prejudice.
I agree with this.
I'd add why is 'menopausal' often used to insult women?"
I gave an honest and open opinion to a good friend in response to something he said about something I am involved in .....
His response ..... I can see you are hysterical
I was as cool as a cucumber. But words like menopausal, time of the month and hysteria are still used to keep women in an inferior subservient position |
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"Oh !!!!
And why do folk get all excited about Brie and cranberry then go all ‘ohhhh I don’t know ‘ about cheese and jam !
Nice couple excluded because I know they will give in to temptation.  "
I will one day for sure.
I eat cheese and apple, cheese and pineapple why not cheese and jam? |
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"Oh !!!!
And why do folk get all excited about Brie and cranberry then go all ‘ohhhh I don’t know ‘ about cheese and jam !
Nice couple excluded because I know they will give in to temptation.
I will one day for sure.
I eat cheese and apple, cheese and pineapple why not cheese and jam? "
I’m good with all of those to be fair |
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"Oh !!!!
And why do folk get all excited about Brie and cranberry then go all ‘ohhhh I don’t know ‘ about cheese and jam !
Nice couple excluded because I know they will give in to temptation.
I will one day for sure.
I eat cheese and apple, cheese and pineapple why not cheese and jam? "
Cheese and jam is a treat. Emmenthal and strawberry  |
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"Oh !!!!
And why do folk get all excited about Brie and cranberry then go all ‘ohhhh I don’t know ‘ about cheese and jam !
Nice couple excluded because I know they will give in to temptation.
I will one day for sure.
I eat cheese and apple, cheese and pineapple why not cheese and jam?
Cheese and jam is a treat. Emmenthal and strawberry "
I’m more a raspberry kind of guy but strawberry is acceptable |
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"I’ve always wondered…
why people are so happy to use/own derogatory terms, such as cum dump? "
From now on im a ‘ cum donor’. I bet within minutes my inbox is full of cum dumps telling me im just what they’re looking for!!  |
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"Oh !!!!
And why do folk get all excited about Brie and cranberry then go all ‘ohhhh I don’t know ‘ about cheese and jam !
Nice couple excluded because I know they will give in to temptation.
I will one day for sure.
I eat cheese and apple, cheese and pineapple why not cheese and jam?
Cheese and jam is a treat. Emmenthal and strawberry "
A previous neighbour of ours made us some tomato jam once. I didn't try it with cheese but I should have. We used to belong to a coffee tasting club that experimented with pairing different coffee with various foods. No coffee went well with tomato jam  |
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"Oh !!!!
And why do folk get all excited about Brie and cranberry then go all ‘ohhhh I don’t know ‘ about cheese and jam !
Nice couple excluded because I know they will give in to temptation.
I will one day for sure.
I eat cheese and apple, cheese and pineapple why not cheese and jam?
Cheese and jam is a treat. Emmenthal and strawberry
I’m more a raspberry kind of guy but strawberry is acceptable "
Proper raspberry jam and tart cheese is just delicious  |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Why do people have sex to music? Why do they have sex playlists?
"
Why has JaneDoe changed her name to Raven and when will Elf on a Shelf or Coyote Ugly come out to play? |
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By *ripfillMan 25 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
I have always wondered why water goes down the plug hole “clock wise”
in the northern hemisphere and anti clockwise in the southern hemisphere
On the equator - straight down …
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By *ungandMan 25 weeks ago
daveyhulme |
Why don’t people fill out there profiles also discriminate against age .
Just put the correct age bracket on your profile
And I know women must get lots of requests how about a no thank you instead of you will be blocked  |
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Why have you not entered or voted yet? Half an hour left for entries now in the 3 course menu competition, have to be in by 8.00pm. Please remember anyone can vote whether you entered a menu or not. Time to tell all your friends to look and enter or just to vote or both. |
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"Why are people so upset by the word 'professional'?
Possibly because it's a little derogatory!
Is it? In what way?"
Well, we're all professionals in our own field whatever we do, just makes them sound a little critical of others, like they're better!
Just our take on it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Why do I refuse to watch a film on ITV because of the Extra time it takes to get through the ad breaks but I could easily watch a film over 5 days on demand because of distractions. |
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By *nnCeeWoman 25 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"Why some men post loads of pictures of their cock from different angles… Do they really think this is what the majority of women want to see? 🤔"
Apparently so.
One guy near me uploads about 6 or 7 at a time. He has perhaps 200 cock pics.
Shame, as his face actually isn't that bad (saw it in a chat group we used to be in) |
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By *eliWoman 25 weeks ago
. |
"I was actually wondering today what the difference is between having several friends with benefits and having poly partners? Is there a difference aside from the partner label? Many thanks  "
Well for me poly partners mean I'm actively dating them. There's generally a deeper emotional connection and a greater level of intimacy than I'd have with a fwb.
With fwbs, I perhaps wouldn't know quite as much. Plan romantic dates for them. Develop stronger feelings for. Amory is an important of poly. If you've just got several friends and there's not that love, that potential for it etc... it's not quite polyamory. You can have both at the same time! |
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I'm kind of chill as a person, but I can have moments of emotional expressivity. Sometimes people take issue with my 'tone' of voice at times I am irritated or frustrated.
Usually these are people who think nothing of being emotionally expressive themselves and do so frequently.
There's part of me that thinks, maybe I could chill my tone out, work on myself, manage my emotions better and all of that. Another part of me thinks fuck this dual standards game of soldiers for a lark.
The ambivalence is real, I am in turmoil. What should I do? |
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"I've been pondering the difference between platonic and romantic love. I can feel the difference but I'm struggling to pin it down with words. "
If you figure it out please let me know. I gave up a long time ago. |
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"I was actually wondering today what the difference is between having several friends with benefits and having poly partners? Is there a difference aside from the partner label? Many thanks
Well for me poly partners mean I'm actively dating them. There's generally a deeper emotional connection and a greater level of intimacy than I'd have with a fwb.
With fwbs, I perhaps wouldn't know quite as much. Plan romantic dates for them. Develop stronger feelings for. Amory is an important of poly. If you've just got several friends and there's not that love, that potential for it etc... it's not quite polyamory. You can have both at the same time! "
That makes sense Thankyou |
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"I frequently wonder why people get so annoyed/triggered/upset when we say we don't kiss our casual partners on the mouth. Why they feel they need to make unkind comparisons and infer things about our relationship. I don't particularly care that they do this, I just wonder why.
I also wonder what people mean when they say 'like minded' and 'open minded'
I respect if a couple have that rule but probably wouldn't meet them because I love kissing. But there is never an excuse to be unkind."
Oh I so much like kissing and it's so long since I've had an opportunity  |
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"I've been pondering the difference between platonic and romantic love. I can feel the difference but I'm struggling to pin it down with words. "
Lordy, this is a pondering for the ages! Hopefully someone more eloquent than me will have a stab at it x |
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"I’d like to know what makes the grey whiskers spread across my beard these days.
How can it be so thick and dark for 30 years and then just change in what feels like a few months?"
Those hairs are tired, Sam. So tired. |
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"Why do I always lose single socks when washing them"
Because you don’t pair them together with a safety pin when you put them in the laundry bag.
I have been doing this for years, no more missing socks in the wash. |
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I’ve always wondered about the correlation between dreams and a waking boner ??
For example , last night I dreamt that I met an old mate from a lifetime ago , we ended up sailing a barge over to Ireland then got turned away from the docks by a guy with a cannon and an elephant .
Yet I still woke up with a stonker ?? 🤷🏻♂️ |
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"I’ve always wondered about the correlation between dreams and a waking boner ??
For example , last night I dreamt that I met an old mate from a lifetime ago , we ended up sailing a barge over to Ireland then got turned away from the docks by a guy with a cannon and an elephant .
Yet I still woke up with a stonker ?? 🤷🏻♂️"
Cannon? Massive elephant trunk? The phallic implications are striking |
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"I’ve always wondered about the correlation between dreams and a waking boner ??
For example , last night I dreamt that I met an old mate from a lifetime ago , we ended up sailing a barge over to Ireland then got turned away from the docks by a guy with a cannon and an elephant .
Yet I still woke up with a stonker ?? 🤷🏻♂️
Cannon? Massive elephant trunk? The phallic implications are striking "
Oh aye …… so all that confusing barging just to tell me I need to fire a ball from my trunk . !
My brain is an asshole 😂 |
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