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Well, Your Honour...
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Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests. |
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So you see your honour, having swapped bodies and personalities,if you prosecute ME you will be prosecuting the wrong person and what a miscarriage that would be.
On that day, I was in the body of a vicious rent boy, busy working and earning and he had taken my body to commit the armed bullion heist.
While the court wastes time with me, he heads, with the bullion to Rio and I can't even afford a tube of arsehole cream to sooth the friction burns ! |
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"Assuming the Judge had heard it all before, what is YOUR novel defence ?
I didn’t hit him in defence.
I hit him over it.
I’ll get my coat.
The mr "
De light was out
De po was full
So I did it in De fender
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Well M’ Lud, I was exposed too an old woman’s attempts at humour, the experience was so traumatising, as I’m sure you appreciate, that I can’t possibly be held responsible for my actions thereafter.  |
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