FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Before you message me you should know I’m built like this
Before you message me you should know I’m built like this
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What is something people should know about you before they slide into your DMs? |
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"What is something people should know about you before they slide into your DMs? "
I am a skeleton that somehow has the muscles to move |
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I've a high sex drive and a hubby thar doesn't satisfy me |
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I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet |
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I am extremely blunt and devoid of much compassion with it  |
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I generally don’t like meeting in the week and I can be hit and miss with my inbox. |
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"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet"
In time youngling, in time you shall. The force is strong in you I sense |
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"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet
In time youngling, in time you shall. The force is strong in you I sense "
I'd probably suck yours to be fair  |
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I talk a good game but in reality I’m boring as fuck. |
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"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet
In time youngling, in time you shall. The force is strong in you I sense
I'd probably suck yours to be fair "
Well mine is a female penis so it’s probably fine to suck on it tbh  |
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"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet
In time youngling, in time you shall. The force is strong in you I sense
I'd probably suck yours to be fair
Well mine is a female penis so it’s probably fine to suck on it tbh "
🫡😆😆 |
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"I talk a good game but in reality I’m boring as fuck."
Ever tried pushing a haribo in your asshole. That would make you crazy and wild on fab   |
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I think I’m funny and am rarely available. Whadda catch 👌
Mrs TMN x |
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I'm not a sex dispenser and I don't think I'm all that. If you treat me like a nice human bean you have a much better chance of reply.
(sorry you touched a nerve this morning) 😬😂 |
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"I'm a shit shag 😂"
Yeah but you improve with experience right |
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By *a LunaWoman 13 weeks ago
South Wales |
That I’m actually extremely shy in person. Extremely!!! |
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That they need to be within 10 miles. Northern Ireland is definitely further than that but they still message. Also I am a big girl. |
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I'm extremely thick skinned and nothing really phases me, I'm a total piss taker but loving and kind,I don't like fish,I don't do drama or get involved with dramalamas. |
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"I'm extremely thick skinned and nothing really phases me, I'm a total piss taker but loving and kind,I don't like fish,I don't do drama or get involved with dramalamas."
Oh and I'm probably the most boring, dull person you'll ever meet and I have an IQ of 168 - 160 |
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By *a LunaWoman 13 weeks ago
South Wales |
"I'm extremely thick skinned and nothing really phases me, I'm a total piss taker but loving and kind,I don't like fish,I don't do drama or get involved with dramalamas.
Oh and I'm probably the most boring, dull person you'll ever meet and I have an IQ of 168 - 160"
You keep saying this that you’re dull and boring but I have to say, I find you extremely witty. Stop putting yourself down. |
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"I talk a good game but in reality I’m boring as fuck.
Ever tried pushing a haribo in your asshole. That would make you crazy and wild on fab "
I’ve only done it with wine gums… brb. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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"I'm a shit shag 😂"
I bet your not
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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I am chilled out up for anything within reason plus i am a grower not a shower |
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By *aven.Woman 13 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
You wouldn't look twice at me in the street.
I'm also not particularly interested in sex, it bores me.
Hit me up! |
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By *emidemiWoman 13 weeks ago
basingstoke |
I’m busy like 99.5% of the time, so actually arranging something is nearly impossible |
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"I'm not a sex dispenser and I don't think I'm all that. If you treat me like a nice human bean you have a much better chance of reply.
(sorry you touched a nerve this morning) 😬😂"
I’ve been trying to touch you |
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"I’m busy like 99.5% of the time, so actually arranging something is nearly impossible "
I wish you’d told me that |
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"That I’m actually extremely shy in person. Extremely!!!"
I can talk for the both of us |
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It winds us up when people haven't read our profile |
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By *emidemiWoman 13 weeks ago
basingstoke |
"I’m busy like 99.5% of the time, so actually arranging something is nearly impossible
I wish you’d told me that "
I’m trying ok 🥲 |
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"That I’m actually extremely shy in person. Extremely!!!
I can talk for the both of us"
🤣🤣 I should've said this. It's in most of my hidden verifications 😂 |
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We are absolutely fucking filthy. |
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"What is something people should know about you before they slide into your DMs? "
That I’m fat. I’ve made no secret of that. Yet it’s a shock to some when they greet me. |
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I’m bear shaped and come across intimate during bed playtime |
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That I'm way chubby and broken as fuck. You will need to hold a leg |
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Apparently some men find me intimidating 
Yes, I can be a bit bossy  |
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I have the body of an 80 year old. |
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That I can take ages to reply, & neediness and sexual enthusiasm from a complete stranger is a huge turn off |
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"I have the body of an 80 year old."
And I can't squat, or open my legs very wide.
Also, I'll piss myself if you put all of your weight on my stomach.
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I'm shit at replying.
I'm a catfish.
And then there's the mental breakdowns |
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"I have the body of an 80 year old.
And I can't squat, or open my legs very wide.
Also, I'll piss myself if you put all of your weight on my stomach.
"
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"I'm extremely thick skinned and nothing really phases me, I'm a total piss taker but loving and kind,I don't like fish,I don't do drama or get involved with dramalamas.
Oh and I'm probably the most boring, dull person you'll ever meet and I have an IQ of 168 - 160
You keep saying this that you’re dull and boring but I have to say, I find you extremely witty. Stop putting yourself down."
Ahhh bless you,your very kind..... Fancy a shag   |
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"What is something people should know about you before they slide into your DMs?
That I’m fat. I’ve made no secret of that. Yet it’s a shock to some when they greet me. "
I try and tell people too. |
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"I'm not a sex dispenser and I don't think I'm all that. If you treat me like a nice human bean you have a much better chance of reply.
(sorry you touched a nerve this morning) 😬😂"
A bean to flick???? |
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I’m not a human version of the crusty sock you use to wank into. |
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By *ed OpiumWoman 13 weeks ago
Never Never Land |
yep those are really my photos, and yea im that old!
No i don't care! |
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By *a LunaWoman 13 weeks ago
South Wales |
"That I can take ages to reply, & neediness and sexual enthusiasm from a complete stranger is a huge turn off "
No wonder we get on |
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" yep those are really my photos, and yea im that old!
No i don't care!"
Ok but do you fancy a fuck? |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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I fart and snore in bed. I sometimes do it too when I'm asleep. |
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By *ed OpiumWoman 13 weeks ago
Never Never Land |
" yep those are really my photos, and yea im that old!
No i don't care!
Ok but do you fancy a fuck?"
Hell yes!! |
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I'm extremely picky when it comes to single guys, and the fella really doesn't give two shits about anything! |
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" yep those are really my photos, and yea im that old!
No i don't care!
Ok but do you fancy a fuck?
Hell yes!!"
Excellent. I will message you  (I wish) |
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By *emidemiWoman 13 weeks ago
basingstoke |
"I won’t have sex with them "
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By *vaRose43Woman 13 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
Hmmm let’s see
I snore like a vintage tractor running over a pig.
I don’t meet spontaneously
I don’t like fingers forced in my mouth
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 13 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I'm not looking to meet single guys.
I'm not looking to meet people too far away.
On a night out, a little bit of me goes a long way |
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My online and irl chat game is weak. You will think I'm ghosting you weak.
B |
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By *tew008Man 13 weeks ago
edinburgh |
I’m an ugly cunt but I’ll speak to anyone |
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"My online and irl chat game is weak. You will think I'm ghosting you weak.
B"
I am like this just because I struggle with the intensity of 1on1 instant messaging. But in person your chat is not weak. I bet you attract all the ladies |
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By *eliWoman 13 weeks ago
. |
I'm quite a slow burner.
No, I'm a really slow burner. I don't feel sexual attraction until there's a level of friendship there.
It takes ages for me to truly feel comfortable with someone. Even when I do, intermittent chats interspersed with waffling is how I'm comfortable. It doesn't mean I'm any less interested. |
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"I'm quite a slow burner.
No, I'm a really slow burner. I don't feel sexual attraction until there's a level of friendship there.
It takes ages for me to truly feel comfortable with someone. Even when I do, intermittent chats interspersed with waffling is how I'm comfortable. It doesn't mean I'm any less interested. "
We’ve got forever babe |
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going on top for me really doesn’t work, my hips just don’t allow it to be comfortable! Im not lazy honest! |
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I am terrified of social interactions, messaging me probably will get you blocked |
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By *tew008Man 13 weeks ago
edinburgh |
"I am terrified of social interactions, messaging me probably will get you blocked "
can message me if you like, no social interaction is almost a prerequisite with me |
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"I won’t have sex with them
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Hey Dem 🥰 |
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I hate social meets - when we met I plan to use sex to distract you from looking at me (and distract my mind from thinking about you looking at me).
At the same time, I will talk to you virtually at length before we meet to try and suss you out and check we click |
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"I hate social meets - when we met I plan to use sex to distract you from looking at me (and distract my mind from thinking about you looking at me).
At the same time, I will talk to you virtually at length before we meet to try and suss you out and check we click "
Yeah sounds right Lmao |
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I'm a lot more shy in the forums and messaging than I am in real life. |
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I have huge hands, feet and nose.
My wife is tiny.
We look like a comedy couple. |
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"I have huge hands, feet and nose.
My wife is tiny.
We look like a comedy couple."
Psssst. No one's looking at your hands, feet and nose, shoulders knees and toes. |
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"I have huge hands, feet and nose.
My wife is tiny.
We look like a comedy couple.
Psssst. No one's looking at your hands, feet and nose, shoulders knees and toes."
Obvs… just the wife then |
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I’m a dickhead and unless I think you’re alright, you’ll be ignored.
The mr |
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"I have huge hands, feet and nose.
My wife is tiny.
We look like a comedy couple.
Psssst. No one's looking at your hands, feet and nose, shoulders knees and toes.
Obvs… just the wife then "
22 Apr is truly one of the great Fab couples pics. The other being the dude with the hat, sat with the mirror. Quality. |
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"I have huge hands, feet and nose.
My wife is tiny.
We look like a comedy couple.
Psssst. No one's looking at your hands, feet and nose, shoulders knees and toes.
Obvs… just the wife then
22 Apr is truly one of the great Fab couples pics. The other being the dude with the hat, sat with the mirror. Quality."
*Hat dude is another couple |
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By *urge72Man 13 weeks ago
oxfordshire & Hull |
Read my profile and gauge if I'd be good company. It's not all about having a gym body. Surely there has to be a connection if you're going to have sex. All brawn and no character cannot be the answer......can it? |
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"I have huge hands, feet and nose.
My wife is tiny.
We look like a comedy couple."
Ermmmm, you're not alone there!! 🙄 |
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Vagina dentata are not a myth 🧛♀️ |
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I'm 6ft 3 in heels and built like a tank. I do not have an issue with shorter guys but some guys have an issue with my height. Know this up front as I can do nothing about it! |
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The chance is we will be having sex in 2027. |
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By *tew008Man 13 weeks ago
edinburgh |
"I'm 6ft 3 in heels and built like a tank. I do not have an issue with shorter guys but some guys have an issue with my height. Know this up front as I can do nothing about it!"
Let me just get my javelin |
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"I talk way too much! x"
I’m really shy |
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"I talk way too much! x
I’m really shy "
Haha!! Yeah right!! |
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I often look like I’ve been left out all night and not slept in days .
Quite often that is exactly why I look like that |
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We are a couple, and as much as the pictures make you believe it's not just a pair of tits and a ass running the profile xx |
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"I often look like I’ve been left out all night and not slept in days .
Quite often that is exactly why I look like that "
😂😉 |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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Nothing, I’ll talk to anyone.
You can learn a lot from talking to all sorts |
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My OH rates my blowjobs as 5/8..
..but the guys I’ve sucked from on here score me higher 😜 |
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By *B69Woman 13 weeks ago
Wiltshire |
I’m lacking in free time |
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That I'm not looking to bone people who message me on here 💜 |
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By *eliWoman 13 weeks ago
. |
"That I'm not looking to bone people who message me on here 💜"
Great. Now I find out. |
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"That I'm not looking to bone people who message me on here 💜
Great. Now I find out."
Okay.
I'm not *generally* looking to bone people who message me on here.
There are definite exceptions 💜 |
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"I've a high sex drive and a hubby thar doesn't satisfy me"
Same |
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By *ookie46Woman 13 weeks ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
I’ll annoy the life out of them |
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That I absolutely won't know if I fancy you or not until we've met in person, so no sexy talk before then. |
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I’m left handed, I’m fat, I struggle with eye contact, sometimes I jumble my words up, I can flick from deadly serious to complete hilarity in a heartbeat. I’m me. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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Ignore everything you just read, I'll probably message you back |
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"That I absolutely won't know if I fancy you or not until we've met in person, so no sexy talk before then. "
I’m the same, I thought it was weird! Maybe it is, but at least there’s now two of us who can be weird together.
Although I’m different because you can gladly go for it with the sexy talk |
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That even though we’re not in love, I’ll make love to you. |
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By *eliWoman 13 weeks ago
. |
"That even though we’re not in love, I’ll make love to you. "
You cad. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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Sometimes im quick… sometimes i reply in 3-5 working days |
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By *hilloutMan 13 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I'm better looking in person than in my pictures 😁 |
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"That even though we’re not in love, I’ll make love to you.
You cad."
I love the real slow, deep strokes with the kisses, hand on the back of her head/ stroking her cheek, looking into her eyes type shit. Like that’s my shit. And that doesn’t mean I love you or even like you. |
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"I'm better looking in person than in my pictures 😁"
same! This is real I’m way nicer in person. Actually I think some fabbers have actually said that to me |
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My free time is basically non existent.
I'm shit at messaging on here but if we progress to swapping phone numbers, I can chew your ear off for 3 hours straight.
I'm constantly tired, in need of coffee and more hours in the day. No point asking me how I am, you'll always get that answer. |
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That I'm so neurotic that I saw this topic several hours ago, had no idea what to say in it, overthought it for hours, then went with a meta answer because it means I don't have to actually think about what people should know about me.
I then spent several minutes re-reading this, even as I was typing it, wondering if the tinge of humour I was trying to inject would land. |
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That i think I'm absolutely hilarious but it often comes across as I'm just weird |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 13 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
When I say I’m voluptuous, I mean it, just because my face is ‘thin’ means nothing |
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That I’m genuinely ridiculously busy and travel all over the Uk. I can get called out short notice.
So it’s not an excuse if I can’t make a social/date etc.
I’m not for those lacking in patience
Oh and I’ll reply for ages then suddenly gone quiet…. I’ve probably fallen asleep randomly 🤣 |
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By *aizyWoman 13 weeks ago
west midlands |
I can chat absolute nonsense, and I am really bad at answering msgs. |
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I spend ages off grid spoon whittling and replies can take many business days as standard…
Such is life 🌈 |
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"I spend ages off grid spoon whittling and replies can take many business days as standard…
Such is life 🌈"
You reply to me instantly usually |
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"I spend ages off grid spoon whittling and replies can take many business days as standard…
Such is life 🌈
You reply to me instantly usually"
That’s because it’s you 😘 |
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"I spend ages off grid spoon whittling and replies can take many business days as standard…
Such is life 🌈
You reply to me instantly usually
That’s because it’s you 😘"
You sweet talker |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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I'm shy |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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You'll probably stop replying once I send a face pic |
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"You'll probably stop replying once I send a face pic"
I send a face pic in the first message and I’ve never had a reply once 🤪 love that for us
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Not a thing, let it be a lovely surprise or a horrible shock... |
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By *indergirlWoman 13 weeks ago
somewhere, someplace |
That I'm painfully shy to begin with, but once I'm relaxed I won't shut up 🤣 |
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Singles guys should take the couple of minutes to read a profile |
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By *aia-NyxWoman 13 weeks ago
North East |
"I'm shit at replying.
I'm a catfish.
And then there's the mental breakdowns "
I relate haha
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I'm effing useless at sex chat |
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By *aia-NyxWoman 13 weeks ago
North East |
"That even though we’re not in love, I’ll make love to you.
You cad.
I love the real slow, deep strokes with the kisses, hand on the back of her head/ stroking her cheek, looking into her eyes type shit. Like that’s my shit. And that doesn’t mean I love you or even like you. "
Damn... That shit sound delightful! |
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By *aiseiMan 13 weeks ago
Birmingham |
We’ll never meet and I may not be on here much longer  |
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"That even though we’re not in love, I’ll make love to you.
You cad.
I love the real slow, deep strokes with the kisses, hand on the back of her head/ stroking her cheek, looking into her eyes type shit. Like that’s my shit. And that doesn’t mean I love you or even like you.
Damn... That shit sound delightful! "
You tryna find out? |
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I secretly enjoy it when our meet crosses the limits and she tolerates it just to please me.. |
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I have a hot, long-term buddy. I've been having amazing sex for 14 years.
If you want me, you need to offer more than just a fuck. |
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How fucking hot I am......as well as the awesomeness
Mr |
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Just slide on in and find out for yourself |
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Oh where to start I’m just me. Sometimes I’m tired and not at all chatty and other times I’m like tigger. I waffle a lot. Go off on tangents. Like just there where I nearly went on to say I like waffles but preferably the sweet type not the potatoe type. Potato type need beans on them. See. Tangent and pointless waffle. Case in point.
Tbh. Most of this is obvious from chatting to me so they’d know as much before they met me anyway 🤷♀️
Physically - I might love my gym stuff but I also love cake. So I’m not a toned Victoria’s Secret model. But because I’m nearly always down the gym or running or swimming or whatever, I feel like it sounds like I should be. So I try and send ‘real’ photos as well as ‘fab’ photos in advance of a meet so they have time to change their mind or at least disguise their horror  |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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For such a thin man, most of me jiggles when I walk downstairs |
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I’m awkward, I bumble through conversations, I’m silly and then serious.
I do look better than my pictures though, so swings and roundabouts |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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If you want to know how I look without clothes, look at my profile. That's all you need to know. |
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By *aia-NyxWoman 12 weeks ago
North East |
"That even though we’re not in love, I’ll make love to you.
You cad.
I love the real slow, deep strokes with the kisses, hand on the back of her head/ stroking her cheek, looking into her eyes type shit. Like that’s my shit. And that doesn’t mean I love you or even like you.
Damn... That shit sound delightful!
You tryna find out? "
Can you teleport to my bed, like, now?? |
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"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet"
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Willy is now sucking cock (I've been reliably informed). 💯% |
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"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet
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Willy is now sucking cock (I've been reliably informed). 💯%"
It wasn't for me👎 |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet
•
Willy is now sucking cock (I've been reliably informed). 💯%
It wasn't for me👎"
He's under your mentorship...  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet
•
Willy is now sucking cock (I've been reliably informed). 💯%
It wasn't for me👎
He's under your mentorship... "
*was |
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By *tr8MrEMan 1 week ago
Shireoaks, Worksop |
Will chat utter insane bollocks |
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By *riel13Woman 1 week ago
Northampton |
I look much better in my pics than in person... I do warn! |
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By *hyguy9iMan 1 week ago
Merthyr Tydfil |
Basically a walking zombie, and that I'll re think what I say/text multiple times as I'm utterly useless speaking first time. |
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"I look much better in my pics than in person... I do warn! "
You’re hot in pics. Hotter in person. |
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Off putting personality and doughy physique |
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"I look much better in my pics than in person... I do warn! "
Still awaiting this new drink I haven't tried yet. |
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"Off putting personality and doughy physique "
Your physique isn’t that doughy.
Personality… yeah |
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"Will chat utter insane bollocks"
Women love that shit |
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By *weetRollMan 1 week ago
Angus/Dundee/Perth |
"I may be desperate, but I won't suck cock...yet"
Its a running joke here that plenty straight men are doing it...
One of the funniest things I learned |
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I have a weepy sore on my nostril 😭
I've just bloody finished antibiotics for a sinus infection and now this 😡 |
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"I have a weepy sore on my nostril 😭
I've just bloody finished antibiotics for a sinus infection and now this 😡"
Grrrrrr |
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"I have the body of an 80 year old."
Where do you keep it? |
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"I have the body of an 80 year old.
·
Where do you keep it?"
•
Inside her nonagenarian body. 🙂 |
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"I have the body of an 80 year old.
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Where do you keep it?
•
Inside her nonagenarian body. 🙂"
Safer than a chest freezer |
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I have a slight obsession with the batman |
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"That I'm way chubby and broken as fuck. You will need to hold a leg "
Now you will need to hold two legs. They are both wonky |
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By *weetRollMan 1 week ago
Angus/Dundee/Perth |
"What is something people should know about you before they slide into your DMs? "
That I'm not sexually attracted to men, don't want my cock sucked by a man or wish to penetrate a man, and I'm not going to be convinced otherwise. |
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"What is something people should know about you before they slide into your DMs?
That I'm not sexually attracted to men, don't want my cock sucked by a man or wish to penetrate a man, and I'm not going to be convinced otherwise. "
You just haven’t had the right cock yet. Or whatever men usually say |
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By *weetRollMan 1 week ago
Angus/Dundee/Perth |
"What is something people should know about you before they slide into your DMs?
That I'm not sexually attracted to men, don't want my cock sucked by a man or wish to penetrate a man, and I'm not going to be convinced otherwise.
You just haven’t had the right cock yet. Or whatever men usually say"
Lol  |
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"I have the body of an 80 year old.
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Where do you keep it?
•
Inside her nonagenarian body. 🙂
Safer than a chest freezer "
Ah shit I laughed out loud then died coughing |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I have the body of an 80 year old.
·
Where do you keep it?
•
Inside her nonagenarian body. 🙂
Safer than a chest freezer
Ah shit I laughed out loud then died coughing"
Sorry |
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