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Pleasing your man
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Tom does not report from the gutter press so won't name the so called celebrities.
The lady allegedly has a disease called enderosmosis which makes sex painful. The man has had his nuptials elsewhere as a result because in old parlance, He is not getting it at home.
There are other intimacies such as oral and anal etc.
Is the old addage true. To keep your man, keep your man happy in bed. |
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"I sometimes wonder if a partner suddenly wasn't able to walk any more would the other partner go on walks with someone else or adapt their activities so they could do a similar thing together. "
I guess it depends on if walks are an important and integral component of their relationship or if one of them feels less of a person without a walk…
I’m not sure that the parallel works in this case |
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"She's in fucking pain. What horrible sexist nonsense."
Taking the cheating out of the equation (because that's inexcusable), what's the solution here?
Is it all about her and he should just put up and shut up? Should he have walked away? Should they have had a private discussion and made an agreement?
I ask because it's estimated anywhere between 25% or 50% of marriage's are sexless, divorces rates are at the highest levels ever and depression rates are going through the roof and intimacy or lack of is playing a big factor.
So if one party is highly sexed and the other isn't for whatever reason, what's the solution?
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The title of this post reminds me of the title of a book I glimpsed once in WHSmith as a child: How to Make Love to the same Man for the rest of your Life.
Even then, I was struck by the futility of heteronormative monogamy  |
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I said to my ex wife, with whom I have 4 grown up kids, 30 years ago that if I were ever crippled and unable to have sex that she should seek sexual gratification elsewhere, just don't tell me details.
I think it's selfish to deny a loved one something you can't provide. Yes, I know there are different ways to pleasure someone but let's say we're talking Stephen Hawking or Christopher Reeve level of incapacity. Should the partners who enjoyed a happy and healthy sex life prior to the incapacity honestly deny themselves sexual contact with anyone else? |
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"His partner is poorly. That should be his priority . Not getting his end away x "
So they both have to suffer?
How about if the poorly partner doesn’t want to see their partner suffer due to their illness? |
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"There are plenty of women doing this too. Most womens magazines and feminazi rags like the guardian encourage it. So let’s blaming men and putting them down."
Doesn’t it apply to either partner though? Either one could be the poorly one and the other have sexual needs. |
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"I sometimes wonder if a partner suddenly wasn't able to walk any more would the other partner go on walks with someone else or adapt their activities so they could do a similar thing together.
I guess it depends on if walks are an important and integral component of their relationship or if one of them feels less of a person without a walk…
I’m not sure that the parallel works in this case"
But walks could be an integral part of one partner’s life. Should he have to never walk again? Should she be forced to? Neither is right. One person is always left unhappy. Adding a walking partner just seems an obvious solution to me. And I stress the point ***TO ME***.
I think to keep 2 people happy, both need to compromise and be happy.
I also appreciate massively that I’m an unemotional and very black and white character - which isn’t standard. |
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Personally I think it's up to each individual couple to find their way through this.
I know nothing about the case in the op but the question was basically
'Is the old adage true. To keep your man, keep your man happy in bed.'?
I have no idea if it's true or not but I think what a lot of people in sexless relationships are missing is physical touch, not necessarily sexual but the hugs, holding each other and skin to skin contact. I also think that communication around this stuff is so difficult that people prefer to ignore it and find solutions alone |
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"I sometimes wonder if a partner suddenly wasn't able to walk any more would the other partner go on walks with someone else or adapt their activities so they could do a similar thing together.
I guess it depends on if walks are an important and integral component of their relationship or if one of them feels less of a person without a walk…
I’m not sure that the parallel works in this case
But walks could be an integral part of one partner’s life. Should he have to never walk again? Should she be forced to? Neither is right. One person is always left unhappy. Adding a walking partner just seems an obvious solution to me. And I stress the point ***TO ME***.
I think to keep 2 people happy, both need to compromise and be happy.
I also appreciate massively that I’m an unemotional and very black and white character - which isn’t standard. "
That's what I was getting at. |
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"In sickness and in health, no? I don't think you need to be married for that to be true in a LTR.
"
In permanent sickness and incapacity and don't have your physical needs met at all whilst your partner is living, which could be decades. Yep, seems reasonable to me... |
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Some men will fuck off after another vagina at the slightest lack of sex & some men are more compassionate and work around the issues (ie foreplay etc)
The men that think it's an excuse to cheat aren't the men I'd like to be associated with.
Mrs |
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"She's in fucking pain. What horrible sexist nonsense.
Taking the cheating out of the equation (because that's inexcusable), what's the solution here?
Is it all about her and he should just put up and shut up? Should he have walked away? Should they have had a private discussion and made an agreement?
I ask because it's estimated anywhere between 25% or 50% of marriage's are sexless, divorces rates are at the highest levels ever and depression rates are going through the roof and intimacy or lack of is playing a big factor.
So if one party is highly sexed and the other isn't for whatever reason, what's the solution?
"
Break 👏 up 👏 |
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"In sickness and in health, no? I don't think you need to be married for that to be true in a LTR.
In permanent sickness and incapacity and don't have your physical needs met at all whilst your partner is living, which could be decades. Yep, seems reasonable to me..."
I don't know this case, but there was nothing about permanent sickness and incapacity. But guess it depends on individual priorities. It's almost as if there's no one size fits all answer to a question like this... |
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If we set aside Tom’s inimitable men v women presentation of the situation, isn’t this just another classic example of people having mismatched needs in a relationship?
In which case, communication and compromise on both sides are key, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.
Mrs TMN x |
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"If we set aside Tom’s inimitable men v women presentation of the situation, isn’t this just another classic example of people having mismatched needs in a relationship?
In which case, communication and compromise on both sides are key, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.
Mrs TMN x"
You're in my head today, Mrs TMN. I came on to say similar.
Every relationship is unique. People change, needs change. Talking about it is the only way a relationship will survive such challenges, and even then it's not a given, and that's OK too. Also, not everyone is comfortable seeking sex outside of their relationship. I lost my libido due to depression during my marriage. Eventually I told my husband that he had my blessing to find sex and intimacy elsewhere, but he didn't want that. Eventually, we divorced for various reasons, not just lack of sex, and it was the right thing for both of us. |
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"If we set aside Tom’s inimitable men v women presentation of the situation, isn’t this just another classic example of people having mismatched needs in a relationship?
In which case, communication and compromise on both sides are key, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.
Mrs TMN x"
Leave poor Tom out of this .. |
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"If we set aside Tom’s inimitable men v women presentation of the situation, isn’t this just another classic example of people having mismatched needs in a relationship?
In which case, communication and compromise on both sides are key, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.
Mrs TMN x
Leave poor Tom out of this .."
It’s your thread, Tom, and your presentation of the topic. |
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"She's in fucking pain. What horrible sexist nonsense.
Why do you need to be racist?
What in the name of arse was racist about the quoted comment?"
Were you flying a flag whilst typing this, so right wing
Mr |
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Mrs has endometriosis and has had it all her life.
The severity can vary from person to person but it hasn't stopped us from enjoying a rich varied sex life.
It's all about listening to your partner and if she's in pain or uncomfortable be gentle,try a different position.
If she was unable to have sex then as a married couple I would not be seeking sex with others but I would support her. |
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"The male of the species mostly wants many mates. Look at the animal kingdom. Most males are programmed to have lots of females. It's just nature"
My oh says I’m more than enough for any man! I’m not sure that he was complimenting me though. |
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