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What would be a mild version of hell.
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By *929Man 16 weeks ago
newcastle |
"When my mother stays for longer than 15 minutes during her many uninvited visits
Does she cast her critical eye about the place and look to see if you have hoovered?"
Not so much with the hoovering as having a dog I have to hiker often but more so small things like the dusting ect she’s just pest I can’t have a day off work without her coming round even if I’m rained off through the week and she sees the van she will call in and honestly at my wits end with it |
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Heck is perpetually damp socks. Lukewarm showers with poor pressure. Low-flush toilets when you've had an emergency poo in a public toilet. One ply toilet paper. Weak tea and singed toast. Having a smell stuck in your nose and not being sure whether you actually smell of that thing.
Ooh, being stuck in close quarters with someone who wears too much Angel by Thierry Mugler.
Every photo of you being taken with a phone's front facing camera so you end up looking like a potato in every one. |
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"Heck is perpetually damp socks. Lukewarm showers with poor pressure. Low-flush toilets when you've had an emergency poo in a public toilet. One ply toilet paper. Weak tea and singed toast. Having a smell stuck in your nose and not being sure whether you actually smell of that thing.
Ooh, being stuck in close quarters with someone who wears too much Angel by Thierry Mugler.
Every photo of you being taken with a phone's front facing camera so you end up looking like a potato in every one."
The rest I could deal with but singed toast would break me. |
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Phoning Virgin Media and sitting on that High Fibre Fucking Carousel ......... round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round |
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"Heck is perpetually damp socks. Lukewarm showers with poor pressure. Low-flush toilets when you've had an emergency poo in a public toilet. One ply toilet paper. Weak tea and singed toast. Having a smell stuck in your nose and not being sure whether you actually smell of that thing.
Ooh, being stuck in close quarters with someone who wears too much Angel by Thierry Mugler.
Every photo of you being taken with a phone's front facing camera so you end up looking like a potato in every one.
The rest I could deal with but singed toast would break me."
Not burned enough where you could refuse it, just singed enough that you could clearly taste that bitterness.
Maybe topped with an undercooked poached egg where the white is still slightly jizzy. |
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"Phoning Virgin Media and sitting on that High Fibre Fucking Carousel ......... round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round "
Your call is very important to us. |
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