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I fancy you and you and you and you...
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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I don't really, sorry to lead you on.
Anyway, now you're here. Someone who flirts with/talks to/kisses* a lot of people - is that something that makes someone more or less attractive to you? Make you less likely to believe the intent?
Are you like that? Or are you more a weird person who tends to only focus on a few at a time?
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"So you decided to read me today. Cool"
Ha, I realised that I'd said to a few people recently that they say that to all the women and it got me thinking about why I'm saying it. Why is there anything wrong with someone doing that?
Musing out loud really. |
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I like the people I like.
I don't see any point in cutting off the other people I like just because one of them is more viable one way or another.
I like people who are a bit freer in how they behave. I'm probably more into the outrageous flirts and multiple kissers than I am people who focus on only one person even if they're attracted to multiple. |
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"So you decided to read me today. Cool
Ha, I realised that I'd said to a few people recently that they say that to all the women and it got me thinking about why I'm saying it. Why is there anything wrong with someone doing that?
Musing out loud really."
I flirt with a lot of people.
I fancy a lot of people.
But I fancy everyone individually. I’ve got a lot of love to go around. And I mean what I say to individual people.
But mostly in my experience people don’t believe that I like them just because I like others too. So annoying. I feel properly misunderstood.
No disrespect to the monogamous people but eurgh monogamous people 🙄 |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"Dammit...
Ummm no I prefer being the sole object of someone's affections to be honest."
Kaka (cute, right?), you can't go admitting something like that on a fuck site's forum. What's wrong with you? Shocking behaviour. |
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Tend to focus on one for many reasons 1. It's what I prefer. 2. I font have the energy for multiple. 3. I don't have the patter/ flirting skills. 4. I like a connection hard to have that IMHO with many at once. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I’m a flirt of flirts but I’d like to think I don’t lead people on.
There’s more to life than touching rude bits. "
You're such a flirty McFlirty face. But, I've kind of, perhaps wrongly, just assumed it's how you are with people and there's no intent. That might be wrong though.
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I take the approach of “ if anyone can have it I don’t want it “
The mr "
But maybe it's not anyone, maybe it's just a good few handfuls. Why is that a bad thing?
Is it not nice that people are true to themselves and open with expressing how attractive they find various people?
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I like the people I like.
I don't see any point in cutting off the other people I like just because one of them is more viable one way or another.
I like people who are a bit freer in how they behave. I'm probably more into the outrageous flirts and multiple kissers than I am people who focus on only one person even if they're attracted to multiple."
Do you think you're a bit... freer in how you behave?
I don't think it's about cutting people off as such... more unpacking if it's slight ex-monogamy leanings coming through. I find it difficult to believe that there's too much sincerity, intent behind certain messages. Perhaps it's more a reflection of my self esteem. |
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I like lots of different people for lots of different reasons. Like a human world foods buffet.
Actually perhaps liking fellow mankind as finger foods isn’t great 
But - in the same way I know I can’t be the be all and end all to someone. Getting out there and enjoying what life has to offer is what makes it exciting (to me). |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"Tend to focus on one for many reasons 1. It's what I prefer. 2. I don't have the energy for multiple. 3. I don't have the patter/ flirting skills. 4. I like a connection hard to have that IMHO with many at once. "
^^ this. Just find one that is worthy of such a connection until I find she isn't or she isn't willing to communicate further then off to find another, not interested in multiples |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"So you decided to read me today. Cool
Ha, I realised that I'd said to a few people recently that they say that to all the women and it got me thinking about why I'm saying it. Why is there anything wrong with someone doing that?
Musing out loud really.
I flirt with a lot of people.
I fancy a lot of people.
But I fancy everyone individually. I’ve got a lot of love to go around. And I mean what I say to individual people.
But mostly in my experience people don’t believe that I like them just because I like others too. So annoying. I feel properly misunderstood.
No disrespect to the monogamous people but eurgh monogamous people 🙄"
But then there are people who are naturally flirty with everyone and there's no meaning behind it... I can see why, incorrectly, a person would assume that you fall in to that category. It's a lazy assumption.
Do you have the time/headspace for conversations to show intent with all those you're interested in?
I'm very much selfishly using this thread as a sounding board.  |
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By *hilloutMan 23 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest. |
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"So you decided to read me today. Cool
Ha, I realised that I'd said to a few people recently that they say that to all the women and it got me thinking about why I'm saying it. Why is there anything wrong with someone doing that?
Musing out loud really.
I flirt with a lot of people.
I fancy a lot of people.
But I fancy everyone individually. I’ve got a lot of love to go around. And I mean what I say to individual people.
But mostly in my experience people don’t believe that I like them just because I like others too. So annoying. I feel properly misunderstood.
No disrespect to the monogamous people but eurgh monogamous people 🙄
But then there are people who are naturally flirty with everyone and there's no meaning behind it... I can see why, incorrectly, a person would assume that you fall in to that category. It's a lazy assumption.
Do you have the time/headspace for conversations to show intent with all those you're interested in?
I'm very much selfishly using this thread as a sounding board. "
I have time for new people so yeah. If I say I like someone and I want to meet people I have time to.
But you get me Meli. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"Tend to focus on one for many reasons 1. It's what I prefer. 2. I font have the energy for multiple. 3. I don't have the patter/ flirting skills. 4. I like a connection hard to have that IMHO with many at once. "
Are you emotionally monogamous? That's not a slight by the way! Just curiousity. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I’m very flirty. But selective who I kiss. They are the special ones "
Oh kissing! Yes, that's a good one. I coined the rather poor term "kissy people" to describe it to a hobbit I know. Some people are kissy people. I like kissy people
I'm not a kissy person for a myriad of reasons but I like people who go for what they want and can just enjoy it for what it is. |
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"I like lots of different people for lots of different reasons. Like a human world foods buffet.
Actually perhaps liking fellow mankind as finger foods isn’t great
But - in the same way I know I can’t be the be all and end all to someone. Getting out there and enjoying what life has to offer is what makes it exciting (to me). "
Do you still like me? Asking for my list |
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By *vaRose43Woman 23 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
I like to flirt, and I like making friends but that doesn’t mean I’m inviting everyone I’ve flirted with to my bed… in fact my own neurodivergence generally means I need very a very clear green light from someone I’m very interested in before I’ll even suggest it.
However I like to feel focussed on, and to be able to focus on that person too. It doesn’t matter if they (or indeed I) am talking to and meeting others as long as I feel that mutual want and desire.
I’d like to think I’m not the type to demand exclusivity, having practiced ENM now for many years… but I do need to feel invested in. |
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"I like lots of different people for lots of different reasons. Like a human world foods buffet.
Actually perhaps liking fellow mankind as finger foods isn’t great
But - in the same way I know I can’t be the be all and end all to someone. Getting out there and enjoying what life has to offer is what makes it exciting (to me).
Do you still like me? Asking for my list"
Of course I do x. You’re somewhere in between the mini scotch eggs & the mini sliders 😇 |
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"Do you think you're a bit... freer in how you behave?
I don't think it's about cutting people off as such... more unpacking if it's slight ex-monogamy leanings coming through. I find it difficult to believe that there's too much sincerity, intent behind certain messages. Perhaps it's more a reflection of my self esteem. "
I don't think freer was the right word, but it was the closest that came to mind at the time.
I tend to either wallflower or go full slut I think, I don't have a lot of in-between.
I try to avoid any obvious monogamy leanings. And when someone is too focused only on me it makes me wonder why they're saying the things they say and doing the things they do when I'm always very up front about actively avoiding codependency or entanglement that could take away from the people I adore. |
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As a married person who seeks out additional sexual experiences it would be a bit fucking rich for to require others to focus solely on me
I like flirting. It feels good. Sometimes it’s indicative of something more, sometimes not. I tend to be more direct in my intentions if I feel like there’s a danger of crossed wires, so everyone knows where they stand. I learned this the hard way.
Generally I judge my interactions with someone, especially on fab, in and of themselves rather than how they are with other people. Ultimately that’s what’s important to me and removes the element of assumption or second guessing.
Mrs TMN x |
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By *vaRose43Woman 23 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest."
This! You put it better than I did |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I like lots of different people for lots of different reasons. Like a human world foods buffet.
Actually perhaps liking fellow mankind as finger foods isn’t great
But - in the same way I know I can’t be the be all and end all to someone. Getting out there and enjoying what life has to offer is what makes it exciting (to me). "
Yeah buffets are grim. The amount of germs. The disgusting habits of others. Liken them to something else Misty, geez, show them some respect.
I don't think it's about being everything to someone buuut... perhaps that's where some feelings stem from? I can't be everything to someone but I love when I'm something to someone who is something to me. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"Tend to focus on one for many reasons 1. It's what I prefer. 2. I don't have the energy for multiple. 3. I don't have the patter/ flirting skills. 4. I like a connection hard to have that IMHO with many at once.
^^ this. Just find one that is worthy of such a connection until I find she isn't or she isn't willing to communicate further then off to find another, not interested in multiples"
So... you're monogamous? How does that work on a site like this? Keep it for casual sex or keep it in your pants until you find that connection. |
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"I like lots of different people for lots of different reasons. Like a human world foods buffet.
Actually perhaps liking fellow mankind as finger foods isn’t great
But - in the same way I know I can’t be the be all and end all to someone. Getting out there and enjoying what life has to offer is what makes it exciting (to me).
Do you still like me? Asking for my list
Of course I do x. You’re somewhere in between the mini scotch eggs & the mini sliders 😇"
Excellent. See you later for the sex |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest."
Yes, I think that's a noticeable difference... if they're not making a "real" effort with you then it's rather dull. You can tell how invested someone is can't you? I mean, obviously people have busy days, quiet ones, bad ones etc. But when people carve out that time for you, regardless of how many others they're talking to... it doesn't feel like you're on a list. |
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By *a LunaWoman 23 weeks ago
South Wales |
I tended to focus on one at a time really. I don’t have the attention span to do otherwise really.
I always kind of hoped for the same on here really, but of course Fab isn’t really like that. It’s like telling someone at a buffet that there is only cocktail sausages on offer when they can quite clearly see there are cheese sticks and mini pizzas available too.
As for flirty folk, I assume they are just that, flirty. I don’t take any serious intent behind it. I never really take their flirting as serious interest, just banter.
I dunno. It’s one of a plethora of reasons I don’t meet anymore. It makes everything too complicated.
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"I can't be everything to someone but I love when I'm something to someone who is something to me. "
I didn't know you were a poet. Literally the most beautiful words I ever did see on Fab. |
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By *a LunaWoman 23 weeks ago
South Wales |
"I tended to focus on one at a time really. I don’t have the attention span to do otherwise really.
I always kind of hoped for the same on here really, but of course Fab isn’t really like that. It’s like telling someone at a buffet that there is only cocktail sausages on offer when they can quite clearly see there are cheese sticks and mini pizzas available too.
As for flirty folk, I assume they are just that, flirty. I don’t take any serious intent behind it. I never really take their flirting as serious interest, just banter.
I dunno. It’s one of a plethora of reasons I don’t meet anymore. It makes everything too complicated.
"
I need to use more words than “really”. Sorry folks. |
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"I like lots of different people for lots of different reasons. Like a human world foods buffet.
Actually perhaps liking fellow mankind as finger foods isn’t great
But - in the same way I know I can’t be the be all and end all to someone. Getting out there and enjoying what life has to offer is what makes it exciting (to me).
Yeah buffets are grim. The amount of germs. The disgusting habits of others. Liken them to something else Misty, geez, show them some respect.
I don't think it's about being everything to someone buuut... perhaps that's where some feelings stem from? I can't be everything to someone but I love when I'm something to someone who is something to me. "
It’s the collective “somethings”. And like _hillout said as long as you are not just a *thing*
As long as everyone is valued then I’m happy. I may have a few someone’s, but I give them my all when I’m with or talking to them. They matter.
And as Prey said - I just don’t want to be someone’s sole focus. That’s (to me) claustrophobic & too hard to give them enough focus - which isn’t then fair on either party.
I just want it all. Valued & “worshipped” in the moment. Respected in the meantime. Thought of with fondness. |
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"I don't really, sorry to lead you on.
Anyway, now you're here. Someone who flirts with/talks to/kisses* a lot of people - is that something that makes someone more or less attractive to you? Make you less likely to believe the intent?
Are you like that? Or are you more a weird person who tends to only focus on a few at a time?
"
I'd be less inclined to believe them flirting with me was genuine |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I have time for new people so yeah. If I say I like someone and I want to meet people I have time to.
But you get me Meli. "
I do. I was wondering out loud why I say to people "bet you say that to all" and then thinking and before you know it, a thread appeared.
I'm very happily poly but I'm not sure if it's self doubt or buried monogamous societal teachings that makes me respond in that way. |
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"I have time for new people so yeah. If I say I like someone and I want to meet people I have time to.
But you get me Meli.
I do. I was wondering out loud why I say to people "bet you say that to all" and then thinking and before you know it, a thread appeared.
I'm very happily poly but I'm not sure if it's self doubt or buried monogamous societal teachings that makes me respond in that way. "
I think it’s a mix of those things. And maybe also just wanting to feel special in that the efforts to woo you are at least unique! |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"It does put me off people in all honesty as I feel like sincerity is lost along the way and they are just playing the game."
Yeah that's fair. Sometimes people are just playing a game. It doesn't mean everyone is though, they might just be a beautiful horn dog. And you're someone they'd like to give a bone to.
Do you prefer to only be interested in one/a few at a time? |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"Tend to focus on one for many reasons 1. It's what I prefer. 2. I don't have the energy for multiple. 3. I don't have the patter/ flirting skills. 4. I like a connection hard to have that IMHO with many at once.
^^ this. Just find one that is worthy of such a connection until I find she isn't or she isn't willing to communicate further then off to find another, not interested in multiples
So... you're monogamous? How does that work on a site like this? Keep it for casual sex or keep it in your pants until you find that connection. "
Quite simply put, it doesn't. Finding a genuine connection is difficult and I'm not interested in casual sex without a connection. Seems cheap, tachy almost. So I'll carry on being myself until I find that connection again. So keeping it in my pants seems to be the way to go. But lord help her when she awakens that beast for he can be relentless in the pursuit of her pleasure  |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I can't be everything to someone but I love when I'm something to someone who is something to me.
I didn't know you were a poet. Literally the most beautiful words I ever did see on Fab. "
 Well this is utter balderdash. It's so sloppy, I really want to edit my poor sentence structure and the dire repetition but... I don't get paid for what I type on the forums so can't be arsed. |
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I actually don't fancy that many people, it seems. I don't have the time to devote to several people so outside of my marriage, I keep connections with the few individuals who I genuinely do like and fancy and want to do the horizontal tango with.
I try not to lead people on although in a forum game, I might fake flirt. If I hit the DMs, I'm not mucking about, though. |
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By *hilloutMan 23 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I like lots of different people for lots of different reasons. Like a human world foods buffet.
Actually perhaps liking fellow mankind as finger foods isn’t great
But - in the same way I know I can’t be the be all and end all to someone. Getting out there and enjoying what life has to offer is what makes it exciting (to me).
Yeah buffets are grim. The amount of germs. The disgusting habits of others. Liken them to something else Misty, geez, show them some respect.
I don't think it's about being everything to someone buuut... perhaps that's where some feelings stem from? I can't be everything to someone but I love when I'm something to someone who is something to me.
It’s the collective “somethings”. And like _hillout said as long as you are not just a *thing*
As long as everyone is valued then I’m happy. I may have a few someone’s, but I give them my all when I’m with or talking to them. They matter.
And as Prey said - I just don’t want to be someone’s sole focus. That’s (to me) claustrophobic & too hard to give them enough focus - which isn’t then fair on either party.
I just want it all. Valued & “worshipped” in the moment. Respected in the meantime. Thought of with fondness."
^^
Pretty much this. I try to treat others as I would like to be treated in turn. Having messages go unacknowledged or unanswered for days or consistent, short replies will have me switch off and disengage very quickly. I see no point in giving my time to someone who doesn't seem willing to reciprocate. |
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"Dammit...
Ummm no I prefer being the sole object of someone's affections to be honest.
Kaka (cute, right?), you can't go admitting something like that on a fuck site's forum. What's wrong with you? Shocking behaviour."
It's ok I've become pretty good at separating those two specific needs |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I like to flirt, and I like making friends but that doesn’t mean I’m inviting everyone I’ve flirted with to my bed… in fact my own neurodivergence generally means I need very a very clear green light from someone I’m very interested in before I’ll even suggest it.
However I like to feel focussed on, and to be able to focus on that person too. It doesn’t matter if they (or indeed I) am talking to and meeting others as long as I feel that mutual want and desire.
I’d like to think I’m not the type to demand exclusivity, having practiced ENM now for many years… but I do need to feel invested in. "
Hi! Another ENM, ND sort, there are so few of us around. :D
Being focused on doesn't mean you can't enjoy interacting with others. Flirting with others.
I like mindful attention. When someone makes me still feel valued and desired even if they're with others (not at the moment they are, I'm not that needy). |
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By *ularliWoman 23 weeks ago
Worcester |
I love flirting. I’m not sure I’m very good at it but I also notice myself doing it sometimes without trying.
I also like flirting with multiple people. I’m a very open touchy feely woman so love the interaction with others.
If I was looking for a partner then I would give that person my undivided attention but on here I’m looking for fun times so will chat to and meet someone if I find them attractive and into what I like even while chatting to others.
It doesn’t mean I think anything less of others etc.
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"I can't be everything to someone but I love when I'm something to someone who is something to me.
I didn't know you were a poet. Literally the most beautiful words I ever did see on Fab.
Well this is utter balderdash. It's so sloppy, I really want to edit my poor sentence structure and the dire repetition but... I don't get paid for what I type on the forums so can't be arsed. "
I'll focus on the meaning of what's said rather than any perceived sloppy structure
or repetition and it struck a cord with me, even if you could do better if you got paid for it |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I don't think freer was the right word, but it was the closest that came to mind at the time.
I tend to either wallflower or go full slut I think, I don't have a lot of in-between.
I try to avoid any obvious monogamy leanings. And when someone is too focused only on me it makes me wonder why they're saying the things they say and doing the things they do when I'm always very up front about actively avoiding codependency or entanglement that could take away from the people I adore."
Yeah, I really didn't like *freer* hence the ellipses but because it's you I used it. 💜
What are obvious monogamous leanings to you? See, I've got a rather romantic soul and I love when people are upfront about wanting to erm, really make an effort with me. But I also want people to be happy and I've got a fiancé and stuff* and can't be an Everything Person to someone. It's a balance.
*I'm really sorry for and stuff. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"As a married person who seeks out additional sexual experiences it would be a bit fucking rich for to require others to focus solely on me
I like flirting. It feels good. Sometimes it’s indicative of something more, sometimes not. I tend to be more direct in my intentions if I feel like there’s a danger of crossed wires, so everyone knows where they stand. I learned this the hard way.
Generally I judge my interactions with someone, especially on fab, in and of themselves rather than how they are with other people. Ultimately that’s what’s important to me and removes the element of assumption or second guessing.
Mrs TMN x"
I don't think it's quite so black and white as focusing solely on one or talking and flirting with everyone is it? It's more nuanced than that.
Learning something the hard way doesn't sound good NipNips, hope you're okay, x
So how a person is with others doesn't factor in in the slightest? |
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"Tend to focus on one for many reasons 1. It's what I prefer. 2. I font have the energy for multiple. 3. I don't have the patter/ flirting skills. 4. I like a connection hard to have that IMHO with many at once.
Are you emotionally monogamous? That's not a slight by the way! Just curiousity. "
I am emotionally monogamous yes, but have been in relationships when played with others. So I guess have been polyamorous in past in terms of attraction and friendship although never in love with multiple people at same time.
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"Yeah, I really didn't like *freer* hence the ellipses but because it's you I used it. 💜
What are obvious monogamous leanings to you? See, I've got a rather romantic soul and I love when people are upfront about wanting to erm, really make an effort with me. But I also want people to be happy and I've got a fiancé and stuff* and can't be an Everything Person to someone. It's a balance.
*I'm really sorry for and stuff. "
I'm not sure how quantifiable it is. It's just a vibe sometimes. Sometimes it's the blatant dropping other people because there's a more exciting focus, but sometimes it's a lot quieter than that, but still somehow obvious.
Oh I absolutely love people making an effort to woo. I'm someone who likes to be 100% there and present with the person I'm with in those moments, just not every minute of every day. I need to know the joy we have together is amazing, and I need to know they have happiness and joy when I'm not around too 💜 |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"As a married person who seeks out additional sexual experiences it would be a bit fucking rich for to require others to focus solely on me
I like flirting. It feels good. Sometimes it’s indicative of something more, sometimes not. I tend to be more direct in my intentions if I feel like there’s a danger of crossed wires, so everyone knows where they stand. I learned this the hard way.
Generally I judge my interactions with someone, especially on fab, in and of themselves rather than how they are with other people. Ultimately that’s what’s important to me and removes the element of assumption or second guessing.
Mrs TMN x
I don't think it's quite so black and white as focusing solely on one or talking and flirting with everyone is it? It's more nuanced than that.
Learning something the hard way doesn't sound good NipNips, hope you're okay, x
So how a person is with others doesn't factor in in the slightest? "
As long as there is mutual attraction, respect, honesty and comunication the sky is the limit. IMO |
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"As a married person who seeks out additional sexual experiences it would be a bit fucking rich for to require others to focus solely on me
I like flirting. It feels good. Sometimes it’s indicative of something more, sometimes not. I tend to be more direct in my intentions if I feel like there’s a danger of crossed wires, so everyone knows where they stand. I learned this the hard way.
Generally I judge my interactions with someone, especially on fab, in and of themselves rather than how they are with other people. Ultimately that’s what’s important to me and removes the element of assumption or second guessing.
Mrs TMN x
I don't think it's quite so black and white as focusing solely on one or talking and flirting with everyone is it? It's more nuanced than that.
Oh, never black and white, but how someone is with other’s isn’t important to me. I’m not saying I don’t feel envious at times - oh, I wish it was me! kinda thing - but that’s part of feeling a connection for me. Not painful jealousy.
Learning something the hard way doesn't sound good NipNips, hope you're okay, x
So how a person is with others doesn't factor in in the slightest?
Oh it does, definitely how someone expresses themselves on here. I meant it’s the way they are with me when we’re together that counts. "
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Hobbit reporting for duty.
I can be a kissy person. It depends on my mood, where my focus is. There's something about the collective energy at organised socials that turns rubs off and makes me a little hedonistic. Also, I don't know if I really fancy someone for certain until we've kissed. A chemistry gauge, as it were.
Away from such events, I'm not very flirty unless I think there's definite potential for something. Splitting my attention between 1 or 2 people works best. 3 max, but that's rare.
If someone I like is a chronic flirt it can make me feel like their interest in me isn't genuine, but not always. If they're attentive and eager in dm's and when we're together, I can view their flirting with others as merely some harmless fun. |
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"I’m very flirty. But selective who I kiss. They are the special ones
Oh kissing! Yes, that's a good one. I coined the rather poor term "kissy people" to describe it to a hobbit I know. Some people are kissy people. I like kissy people
I'm not a kissy person for a myriad of reasons but I like people who go for what they want and can just enjoy it for what it is. "
Do you kiss with a partner though while having sex or foreplay?.. I’ve had meets where the woman is, ‘I don’t kiss’ 😳 kissing is a major part of my pleasure, foreplay and build up. |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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I’ve always struggled with the idea of one person being the one and all for another person, however; I like to slowly drink up new people individually rather than in unison. Ultimately, giving my time, focus, and attention to a distinct, minute selection of people.
I don’t flirt with everyone. I think a lot of times, here, my words are taken as flirting but to me they are simply creative dancing with words on a screen. I take great pleasure in stringing words together in threads at times. Those I flirt with, intentionally, would have no doubt I’m flirting and it would not be seen on the forums. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I tended to focus on one at a time really. I don’t have the attention span to do otherwise really.
I always kind of hoped for the same on here really, but of course Fab isn’t really like that. It’s like telling someone at a buffet that there is only cocktail sausages on offer when they can quite clearly see there are cheese sticks and mini pizzas available too.
As for flirty folk, I assume they are just that, flirty. I don’t take any serious intent behind it. I never really take their flirting as serious interest, just banter.
I dunno. It’s one of a plethora of reasons I don’t meet anymore. It makes everything too complicated.
"
You didn't really overdo the reallys Luna, I wouldn't really worry about that.
It comes down to compatibility doesn't it? I hope you find your cocktail sausage lover. |
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"I’ve always struggled with the idea of one person being the one and all for another person, however; I like to slowly drink up new people individually rather than in unison. Ultimately, giving my time, focus, and attention to a distinct, minute selection of people.
I don’t flirt with everyone. I think a lot of times, here, my words are taken as flirting but to me they are simply creative dancing with words on a screen. I take great pleasure in stringing words together in threads at times. Those I flirt with, intentionally, would have no doubt I’m flirting and it would not be seen on the forums. "
I've never taken your words as flirting (not to me) - just you being nice. X |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I have time for new people so yeah. If I say I like someone and I want to meet people I have time to.
But you get me Meli.
I do. I was wondering out loud why I say to people "bet you say that to all" and then thinking and before you know it, a thread appeared.
I'm very happily poly but I'm not sure if it's self doubt or buried monogamous societal teachings that makes me respond in that way.
I think it’s a mix of those things. And maybe also just wanting to feel special in that the efforts to woo you are at least unique! "
Yeah, wanting to feel like it's unique is important to me. It's not so much about how many but how it's done. An ex once suggested a date night at somewhere they'd taken a few dates. Instant towel effect on my quim. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"Anyway, now you're here. Someone who flirts with/talks to/kisses* a lot of people - Are you like that?
This feels like a trap, Meli. A tart-trap.  "
It worked though didn't it? Kind of, half caught with a half reply. That's good enough for me.  |
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By *aizyWoman 23 weeks ago
west midlands |
"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest."
Pretty much this for me too, I flirt on the forums and I see people I'm interested in flirting with others on the forums it doesn't bother me as such, I think the only time it has was when someone I was msging with was really flirty with me in dm's but not on the forums but they were with others. I don't need regular communication as such but if it does appear one sided then I do lose interest quickly. |
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"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest.
Pretty much this for me too, I flirt on the forums and I see people I'm interested in flirting with others on the forums it doesn't bother me as such, I think the only time it has was when someone I was msging with was really flirty with me in dm's but not on the forums but they were with others. I don't need regular communication as such but if it does appear one sided then I do lose interest quickly. "
This is a good point. Being ignored on the forum by someone you're seeing/actively planning to see, while they openly flirt with others feels pretty crap. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I actually don't fancy that many people, it seems. I don't have the time to devote to several people so outside of my marriage, I keep connections with the few individuals who I genuinely do like and fancy and want to do the horizontal tango with.
I try not to lead people on although in a forum game, I might fake flirt. If I hit the DMs, I'm not mucking about, though. "
Do you mind if those you fancy fancy a lot of people?
Ah faux flirting in a forum game is different isn't it? The forums aren't quite the real story, more a noisy waiting room. |
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"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest.
Pretty much this for me too, I flirt on the forums and I see people I'm interested in flirting with others on the forums it doesn't bother me as such, I think the only time it has was when someone I was msging with was really flirty with me in dm's but not on the forums but they were with others. I don't need regular communication as such but if it does appear one sided then I do lose interest quickly.
This is a good point. Being ignored on the forum by someone you're seeing/actively planning to see, while they openly flirt with others feels pretty crap."
That’s outrageous?
And different to the usual lamppost pissing |
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"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest.
Pretty much this for me too, I flirt on the forums and I see people I'm interested in flirting with others on the forums it doesn't bother me as such, I think the only time it has was when someone I was msging with was really flirty with me in dm's but not on the forums but they were with others. I don't need regular communication as such but if it does appear one sided then I do lose interest quickly.
This is a good point. Being ignored on the forum by someone you're seeing/actively planning to see, while they openly flirt with others feels pretty crap.
That’s outrageous?
And different to the usual lamppost pissing "
Anti-LPP? |
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"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest.
Pretty much this for me too, I flirt on the forums and I see people I'm interested in flirting with others on the forums it doesn't bother me as such, I think the only time it has was when someone I was msging with was really flirty with me in dm's but not on the forums but they were with others. I don't need regular communication as such but if it does appear one sided then I do lose interest quickly.
This is a good point. Being ignored on the forum by someone you're seeing/actively planning to see, while they openly flirt with others feels pretty crap.
That’s outrageous?
And different to the usual lamppost pissing
Anti-LPP?"
I love pissing in lampposts. I like people to know that I’m sexually active |
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By *aizyWoman 23 weeks ago
west midlands |
"It doesn't bother me if someone I fancy is flirty with other people so long as I'm given the impression that they're still invested in my person and that communication is regular.
If it starts becoming a one sided affair where clearly I'm putting in most of the effort, I switch off and lose interest.
Pretty much this for me too, I flirt on the forums and I see people I'm interested in flirting with others on the forums it doesn't bother me as such, I think the only time it has was when someone I was msging with was really flirty with me in dm's but not on the forums but they were with others. I don't need regular communication as such but if it does appear one sided then I do lose interest quickly.
This is a good point. Being ignored on the forum by someone you're seeing/actively planning to see, while they openly flirt with others feels pretty crap.
That’s outrageous?
And different to the usual lamppost pissing
Anti-LPP?"
MTLP- Missing The Lampost? |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"Pretty much this. I try to treat others as I would like to be treated in turn. Having messages go unacknowledged or unanswered for days or consistent, short replies will have me switch off and disengage very quickly. I see no point in giving my time to someone who doesn't seem willing to reciprocate. "
Yep, I understand this. Platonic it's different in my mind. If it's someone where there's a potential for more... I don't do well with it. I like to feel like people are as interested in me as I them, I've got over the daft idea that it made me needy.
And it doesn't mean talking daily. It's about the quality of communication, if someone is showing an interest in learning me. Actively participating in a conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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I don’t have a problem with quantity per se, it’s the quality of the quantity. I don’t expect to be the sole desire of anyone on this site, just one of many, yet if someone was purely playing a numbers game to just up the number that I would find eurgh! |
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I don't know that I'm great at flirting anywhere, either on here or in person. But if I do it, however awkwardly, I'm probably attracted to you. I dislike mixed signals.
I really like kissing, it doesn't mean that I necessarily want things to go further. Just that I really like kissing.
As someone new to poly, I don't want relationships with everyone I flirt with/kiss/have sex with. But if I'm seeing you on a one-to-one basis then I consider that time almost a mini-one-off-relationship. It's lovely. ❤️
I don't know if I've even answered the question there. 😬😂 |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"Hobbit reporting for duty.
I can be a kissy person. It depends on my mood, where my focus is. There's something about the collective energy at organised socials that turns rubs off and makes me a little hedonistic. Also, I don't know if I really fancy someone for certain until we've kissed. A chemistry gauge, as it were.
Away from such events, I'm not very flirty unless I think there's definite potential for something. Splitting my attention between 1 or 2 people works best. 3 max, but that's rare.
If someone I like is a chronic flirt it can make me feel like their interest in me isn't genuine, but not always. If they're attentive and eager in dm's and when we're together, I can view their flirting with others as merely some harmless fun. "
Hobbit. 🥰😍🥰
Hi Hobbit. I like you lil Hobbit.
No slight against kissy people here at all. You're a kissy person and I like you, Hobbit.
Yes, I don't have the energy for more than a few people at one time. Max 3. Can't do it. Don't want to do it.
I suppose how they are in private is what really tells the story. I don't like the dissonance between forum postings and DMs though. That's crappy when it happens.  |
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It doesn't matter to me how much they flirt, kiss other people as its not my business and I don't feel like it changes the way I feel about them.
Maybe if they was doing it to any and every Dom, Dick or Harry I'd probably question their intentions in my head.
I'm a bit of a flirter but only with the people I want to be and certainly not everyone.
Miss S x |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
. |
"I’m very flirty. But selective who I kiss. They are the special ones
Oh kissing! Yes, that's a good one. I coined the rather poor term "kissy people" to describe it to a hobbit I know. Some people are kissy people. I like kissy people
I'm not a kissy person for a myriad of reasons but I like people who go for what they want and can just enjoy it for what it is.
Do you kiss with a partner though while having sex or foreplay?.. I’ve had meets where the woman is, ‘I don’t kiss’ 😳 kissing is a major part of my pleasure, foreplay and build up. "
Yes I do! I only really kiss with intent, when I fancy someone, can't casually kiss. Was about to type I wish I could but that would be such a lie. I'm happy doing things my way. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"I like to keep my circle small and I like the same in the people I meet. "
How do you know if the people you're meeting are keeping their circle small though? Someone could have a very wide circle but advertise it as tight and you'd be none the wiser... |
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"How do you know if the people you're meeting are keeping their circle small though? Someone could have a very wide circle but advertise it as tight and you'd be none the wiser...
*snigger*"
Same 😂👌 |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
. |
"I’ve always struggled with the idea of one person being the one and all for another person, however; I like to slowly drink up new people individually rather than in unison. Ultimately, giving my time, focus, and attention to a distinct, minute selection of people. "
Yes it's similar to me. I'm even worse when NRE hits. I can't focus on more than a couple at that time.
"I don’t flirt with everyone. I think a lot of times, here, my words are taken as flirting but to me they are simply creative dancing with words on a screen. I take great pleasure in stringing words together in threads at times. Those I flirt with, intentionally, would have no doubt I’m flirting and it would not be seen on the forums. "
I think friendliness and a playful way with language can oft be misread as flirty.
Bar when you're clearly feeling frisky I wouldn't say you're particularly flirty on the forums. You like interacting and witty wordplay but that's not quite the same as being a forum flirt. |
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I prefer to be the focus of someone that has limited interest elsewhere.
That’s probably selfish and so wrong to say on a fuck site too….god dammit it for being far to honest for my own good 😂
But I also feel that I may have found that too, and this/she makes me so damn happy and smiling constantly  |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"
I think friendliness and a playful way with language can oft be misread as flirty.
Bar when you're clearly feeling frisky I wouldn't say you're particularly flirty on the forums. You like interacting and witty wordplay but that's not quite the same as being a forum flirt."
I had to giggle at my obvious friskiness being apparent on here. 😛
A lot of times, I have to crush people’s hope or dreams, because I’ll post something playful, or witty in response to someone, and it is often interpreted as me flirting with them. It becomes awkward to have to say sorry I’m just me being silly in the forums and not me trying to jump on your dick.
|
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"I prefer to be the focus of someone that has limited interest elsewhere.
That’s probably selfish and so wrong to say on a fuck site too….god dammit it for being far to honest for my own good 😂
But I also feel that I may have found that too, and this/she makes me so damn happy and smiling constantly "
Another loved up one! Beautiful 😍 |
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"I prefer to be the focus of someone that has limited interest elsewhere.
That’s probably selfish and so wrong to say on a fuck site too….god dammit it for being far to honest for my own good 😂
But I also feel that I may have found that too, and this/she makes me so damn happy and smiling constantly
Another loved up one! Beautiful 😍 "
Sssshhhhhh you’ll get me in trouble 🫣😂 |
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"I actually don't fancy that many people, it seems. I don't have the time to devote to several people so outside of my marriage, I keep connections with the few individuals who I genuinely do like and fancy and want to do the horizontal tango with.
I try not to lead people on although in a forum game, I might fake flirt. If I hit the DMs, I'm not mucking about, though.
Do you mind if those you fancy fancy a lot of people?
Ah faux flirting in a forum game is different isn't it? The forums aren't quite the real story, more a noisy waiting room."
I don't mind people I fancy, fancying other people etc, no. Or even a lot of people. Ultimately I wouldn't know if the person I fancied GENUINELY fancied the lots of other people anyway!
I'm not the gatekeeper of other people |
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"I’m very flirty. But selective who I kiss. They are the special ones
Oh kissing! Yes, that's a good one. I coined the rather poor term "kissy people" to describe it to a hobbit I know. Some people are kissy people. I like kissy people
I'm not a kissy person for a myriad of reasons but I like people who go for what they want and can just enjoy it for what it is.
Do you kiss with a partner though while having sex or foreplay?.. I’ve had meets where the woman is, ‘I don’t kiss’ 😳 kissing is a major part of my pleasure, foreplay and build up.
Yes I do! I only really kiss with intent, when I fancy someone, can't casually kiss. Was about to type I wish I could but that would be such a lie. I'm happy doing things my way. "
Ok phew  my crush on was about to diminish. Can’t have a crush on someone that won’t kiss.
Kiss with intent. I love that. Makes it sound even more passionate ❤️🔥 |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
. |
"I don't know that I'm great at flirting anywhere, either on here or in person. But if I do it, however awkwardly, I'm probably attracted to you. I dislike mixed signals."
Oh Julie you do yourself a great disservice. You're a proper flirt and not really awkward when I see/read it.
"As someone new to poly, I don't want relationships with everyone I flirt with/kiss/have sex with. But if I'm seeing you on a one-to-one basis then I consider that time almost a mini-one-off-relationship. It's lovely. ❤️
I don't know if I've even answered the question there. 😬😂"
A one off relationship! That's such a cute way of describing it. I'm old to poly and I really don't want relationships with everyone I flirt with. Or kiss. Sometimes I like a good friendship (as the minimum). It's very rare I want to date date someone. Even more enjoyable though because of that. |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
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"It doesn't matter to me how much they flirt, kiss other people as its not my business and I don't feel like it changes the way I feel about them.
Maybe if they was doing it to any and every Dom, Dick or Harry I'd probably question their intentions in my head.
I'm a bit of a flirter but only with the people I want to be and certainly not everyone.
Miss S x"
You've made me Google something! I like that. I'd not heard of Dom, Dick and Harry before.
You're a delightful flirt, easily my favourite cheerleader even when you start threads I don't fully understand. |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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Narrator - Woody remembers a time when cherry chapstick was on his lips from one girl and passed to another with another kiss a few moments after…
I like kissing, I like a good smooch with a gorgeous looking girl/woman/dame/chic. So I assume I may come across a person that likes the same. Does that make them less desirable or that I don’t believe that they’d like to kiss me?
Hell no. I’ll pucker up! 😏😘 |
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"I don't really, sorry to lead you on.
Anyway, now you're here. Someone who flirts with/talks to/kisses* a lot of people - is that something that makes someone more or less attractive to you? Make you less likely to believe the intent?
Are you like that? Or are you more a weird person who tends to only focus on a few at a time?
"
All my work emails are signed off with a XX
Suck my balls HR! |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
. |
"I love a tactile person but personally prefer said tactility to be centred on me.
I’m dead greedy like that 😜"
Ha, I did actually remember that from some of your previous posts! So... why Fab then? Is it a turn off if you know a woman is tactile with others? |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
. |
"Narrator - Woody remembers a time when cherry chapstick was on his lips from one girl and passed to another with another kiss a few moments after…
I like kissing, I like a good smooch with a gorgeous looking girl/woman/dame/chic. So I assume I may come across a person that likes the same. Does that make them less desirable or that I don’t believe that they’d like to kiss me?
Hell no. I’ll pucker up! 😏😘"
Woody, it's not a humble brag about a recent threesome thread.   But it's a cute anecdote and you're clearly still beaming from it so I shan't watersports on your parade. |
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"It doesn't matter to me how much they flirt, kiss other people as its not my business and I don't feel like it changes the way I feel about them.
Maybe if they was doing it to any and every Dom, Dick or Harry I'd probably question their intentions in my head.
I'm a bit of a flirter but only with the people I want to be and certainly not everyone.
Miss S x
You've made me Google something! I like that. I'd not heard of Dom, Dick and Harry before.
You're a delightful flirt, easily my favourite cheerleader even when you start threads I don't fully understand. "
Omg had you not?! That's funny Meli 😂
Awwww, I love being your favourite. Kiss me?
Miss S x |
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"I don't really, sorry to lead you on.
Anyway, now you're here. Someone who flirts with/talks to/kisses* a lot of people - is that something that makes someone more or less attractive to you? Make you less likely to believe the intent?
Are you like that? Or are you more a weird person who tends to only focus on a few at a time?
"
You absolute tease.
Ultimately most people on Fab are not looking for anything exclusive so anyone you chat to is probably chatting to/flirting with/kissing* other people. And I'm absolutely fine with that - everyone knows what the score is, as long as there's no deception going on and people are being careful of their health when kissing* it's no problem.
I've also been involved with non-Fab people who are on the poly scene and had more serious partners while I was a more casual connection - and I was fine with that too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"Narrator - Woody remembers a time when cherry chapstick was on his lips from one girl and passed to another with another kiss a few moments after…
I like kissing, I like a good smooch with a gorgeous looking girl/woman/dame/chic. So I assume I may come across a person that likes the same. Does that make them less desirable or that I don’t believe that they’d like to kiss me?
Hell no. I’ll pucker up! 😏😘
Woody, it's not a humble brag about a recent threesome thread. But it's a cute anecdote and you're clearly still beaming from it so I shan't watersports on your parade. "
A 3way… I wish!….
But I was answering you. I’d be happy someone I fancied wanted to smooch. And to have ALL her attention would get ALL of my attention in return, and that can end up very very hot! 🔥 |
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By *eli OP Woman 23 weeks ago
. |
"It doesn't matter to me how much they flirt, kiss other people as its not my business and I don't feel like it changes the way I feel about them.
Maybe if they was doing it to any and every Dom, Dick or Harry I'd probably question their intentions in my head.
I'm a bit of a flirter but only with the people I want to be and certainly not everyone.
Miss S x
You've made me Google something! I like that. I'd not heard of Dom, Dick and Harry before.
You're a delightful flirt, easily my favourite cheerleader even when you start threads I don't fully understand.
Omg had you not?! That's funny Meli 😂
Awwww, I love being your favourite. Kiss me?
Miss S x"
Any time Miss S.  |
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