So you attend an interview and you find yourself sat across the table from me...
My question to you is... Why should I offer you this (imaginary) role...
Best answer gets the role (a round of applause) lol
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I'll turn up most days, occasionally I'll even be on time. My frequent breaks to walk around with a memory stick looking important will annoy my colleagues as will my insistence on having the window open on very cold days and closed during heatwaves. My lunch which I'll eat at my desk while waving away queries with a "can't you see I'm eating" will be egg, fish or highly spiced food. You'll see my moped leave the car park while everyone else is shutting their laptop and I will never, ever cover for anyone else. |
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By *nnCeeWoman 23 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"Because if we have to work late, or go on work trips, I'm OK with that.
I also know how to work at (on) the boardroom table.
And I'm definitely down for dress me down Fridays  "
Plus, boobs, tea/coffee (whichever you prefer) and I'll bring cake in, just like the other applicants.
I can also chat football and eye up the secretaries  |
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"So you attend an interview and you find yourself sat across the table from me...
My question to you is... Why should I offer you this (imaginary) role...
Best answer gets the role (a round of applause) lol
"
You shouldn't, then we can play hooky together without getting in trouble with HR |
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Because I won't pass off someone else's work as my own.
Also:
A graduate of the University of Sydney, I'm an experienced professional. I'm exceptional, actually. My output is quality, not quantity and you'll be pleased to know I don't bite. Unless asked, of course. |
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"Because I won't pass off someone else's work as my own.
Also:
A graduate of the University of Sydney, I'm an experienced professional. I'm exceptional, actually. My output is quality, not quantity and you'll be pleased to know I don't bite. Unless asked, of course. "
Lol |
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By *bi HaiveMan 23 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"So you attend an interview and you find yourself sat across the table from me...
My question to you is... Why should I offer you this (imaginary) role...
"
You shouldn't. Not in a million years. The last time I was employed by anyone I used to spend half my working week skiving off to meet people, abusing the free hotels and meal allowances, and doing conference calls naked with company in my bed.
I'm a shit employee tbh.......🤔😇🤷♂️ |
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I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, But if you don't give me the job, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you…..
Bit dark? 😂 |
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"So you attend an interview and you find yourself sat across the table from me...
My question to you is... Why should I offer you this
You shouldn't. Not in a million years. The last time I was employed by anyone I used to spend half my working week skiving off to meet people, abusing the free hotels and meal allowances, and doing conference calls naked with company in my bed.
I'm a shit employee tbh.......🤔😇🤷♂️"
Sounds like your a perfect fit |
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"I’ll tell you all the things we actually get up too at the weekend, when on team calls I’ll say we didn’t do anything at the weekend 👀
I’ll probably show you pics of C’s boobs too 😛
K"
Oh... I think employing you both sounds like a savvy move  |
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"I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, But if you don't give me the job, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you…..
Bit dark? 😂"
Please tell me the skills lol |
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I'd like to ask for feedback on my interview, please 