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Can you go from relationship to FB/FWB
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 29 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I was just talking to a friend of mine about the pros and cons of relationships and how it can be difficult to get out of them particularly if you start tying up joint purchases, friends, sharing a car etc.
But maybe if people were more open to going back to the previous stage they would not stay in the wrong relationships as much?
Did you ever end it with someone on here (or off of here) and keep them as a FWB.
How would you go about doing it? Like a subtle forum post (joke!) seriously how would you tackle it ? |
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I couldn't do it. I'm an all or nothing sort of person and wouldn't be happy reverting from a full relationship to a fwb or fb arrangement.
IF for some reason I found myself agreeing to it I would make sure any joint purchases were split equally and leave friends to make their own decision about whether they wanted to continue seeing both, one or neither of us. A bit like a divorce  |
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I've had relationships that were dialled back to friendship/FWB, but being polyamorous and married I imagine my situation is somewhat different to someone who has to do that with their only partner.
I'm not sure that I could provide a step-by-step guide for it; it just involved some frank, honest discussions about where we were in the relationship, what we both wanted, and what would be healthiest for us going forward. |
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I think this would be a tough thing for many people.
Personally, If I’m invested in someone to me more than fwb’s in the first place and then I’ve realised that for whatever reason things aren’t working as a relationship then I’ve fucked up somewhere along the line and I want out out, not just partially out.
I prefer starting as I mean to go on and staying as fwb’s without blurring lines, keeps things much simpler. |
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I'm sure many would look at it like being the exes that fuck. I've done it from a Fwb evolution to a fwnb, it took a year, but with clear concise communication, we managed it. Clear boundaries are definitely key, with no breaking of them, as it is too confusing for everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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I am an all in or not in at all type. I wouldn’t agree to going from relationship to FWB/FB. If I don’t want a relationship with you, I don’t foresee simply wanting you around for sex only. |
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I have successfully de-escalated relationships to more casual almost situationships before.
I've also had attempts to do so utterly fail and cause pain all round.
It depends on both parties involved as to how successful it can be. |
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"I was just talking to a friend of mine about the pros and cons of relationships and how it can be difficult to get out of them particularly if you start tying up joint purchases, friends, sharing a car etc.
But maybe if people were more open to going back to the previous stage they would not stay in the wrong relationships as much?
Did you ever end it with someone on here (or off of here) and keep them as a FWB.
How would you go about doing it? Like a subtle forum post (joke!) seriously how would you tackle it ?"
It's more usual the other way around, starting as FwB and not having one partner trying to progress it to something more. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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I've de-escalated from a FWB to a FB to a friend. I have stayed in touch as friends with a lot of the people that I have been with from FAB or a previous site (they are in the friends category, with no B or WB elements). |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 29 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I'm trying to dial a relationship back to just friends. It's not going great so far  "
I can imagine that is hard, I would probably leave sex on the table for a few months if I were you. Guys hearts break less if they are getting sex  |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 29 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I've de-escalated from a FWB to a FB to a friend. I have stayed in touch as friends with a lot of the people that I have been with from FAB or a previous site (they are in the friends category, with no B or WB elements)."
I’ve done similar. People on fab or generally mature and that’s that sometimes sex runs its course, but there’s no need to fall out afterwards. Relationships are different because a lot of people enter into relationships on the premise that it will last forever |
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By *oxychicWoman 29 weeks ago
Nottinghamshire |
If u been in a relationship were love and feeling are involved then I don't think you can go to fwb , there to much there or would be on one side , and it be hard to separate the two ,and it would be a nightmare ,it just wouldn't work were if u started if as fwb u could go easily into a relationship if both wanted ,  |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 29 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"BETTER TO ADMIT YOU WALKED THROUGH THE WRONG DOOR, THAN SPEND YOUR LIFE IN THE WRONG ROOM.
💋🌹🍻❤️"
I don’t think it’s that simplistic. Everything runs its course almost all relationships eventually and, doesn’t mean they were mistakes.
Sometimes there are really valid reasons for getting together with someone and then situations around you change and make it hard even impossible to stay in a relationship wlth them. Some people are able to fully immerse themselves in a relationship and joining the moment without thinking about the future, others approach relationships as if they are going to last forever
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For me the issue is feelings
The little word that means so much.
It depends what stopped it being a relationship and going to fwb, was it distance or anything
That said it would be a no from me. To have sex I need that connection and I would feel that as a fwb I am no longer entitled to know things about their daily life etc as I would if I was in a relationship so for me the sex would be just that, sex. I’d rather have a wank |
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If I was in a relationship with someone and they said we need to go back to fwb. Fwb means just that, it means no real connection just sex, are they having bed playtime with others and are cheating because they want them more?
It’s a sh**ty way to end a relationship and hurt someone |
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No, I couldn't. If I no longer want to be in a relationship with them, I don't want them as a FWB.
If THEY suggest this, or act like they want less from me, it's over. I don't accept being downgraded. |
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Guess it would depend on how long you'd been in a relationship for. If it was a let's try it and then a quick realisation nope this isn't right, it may be possible.
If it was something longer term then I don't think I could go back to being friends. |
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Maybe I’ve just had the wrong kind of relationship ends to even want to entertain this as an idea 
I can’t think of a time (bar if you had a kid/s I guess) where you’d want to stay friends, you broke up for a reason right.
But I guess there will be exceptions to the rule. And maybe if they were super hot and amazing in bed then it could be tempting?!  |
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I couldn't do a fwb thing with somebody I was in a relationship with! When the relationship ends, that should be it, no going backwards. I'd be happy to work on a friendship alright, life's too short to hold grudges but fwb with that person would be a no no for me! Xx I'd feel more used to be honest! |
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By *hilloutMan 27 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
When things go from FB / FWB into something more substantial, it's like crossing the rubicon. There's no going back from that. Dialing it back to a prior state is nigh impossible for most I would think, including me. |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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Nope. You can’t go back to anything. It will always be different to what it was.
So even if you declared you are now only fuck buddies you’ll remember how close you became. .. staying friends with benefits is probably thr reason why you became more so that’s dangerous ground.
You can stay friends, after all you were very very close. (Or you should be able to unless your a self absorbed asshat!)
Move on, and be kind to each other.
^just my oppinion.  |
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I think it’s very difficult to go backwards with things like this. Maybe it shouldn’t always be so black and white, so out of the question. But I think it’d take a pretty uniquely strong friendship to survive the slings and arrows.
It’s generally easier to keep the feelings/friendship and drop the sex. |
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By *ed OpiumWoman 27 weeks ago
Never Never Land |
i finished a relationship and then bumped into them a few months later and we kinda ended up as FWB, it lasted about 6 months but it was heartbreaking and traumatic as it felt like it should be more but we both knew that more was not really where we wanted to be.
Needed to cut loose and get on with life without them in it . still think about them years later - what if ......... |
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