FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fold or scrunch?
Fold or scrunch?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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Following on from Willy Idol's "The 5 Wipes Rule" I was rather shocked that some Fabsters might only use the odd sheet to wipe their arse (someone said three sheets max), and it then led me to question whether people neatly fold the toilet paper prior to wiping, or if they scrunch it up.
I feel a little survey of fabsters is necessary.
Scrunch or fold?
.
.
Scrunch  |
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
I'm the same. It's cheaper than 4 ply
 
And you get a free Rorschach test when you inspect the poo  ."
I'm convinced I saw Jesus the other day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?"
Oh, you are going to mess up the scoring system! I also had to check your profile to see if you were 'bi' as that could explain a lot - but no excuse apparently  |
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
Oh, you are going to mess up the scoring system! I also had to check your profile to see if you were 'bi' as that could explain a lot - but no excuse apparently "
Weakest excuse for profile perv ever Phooey. You had a wank, dintja? |
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
I'm the same. It's cheaper than 4 ply
And you get a free Rorschach test when you inspect the poo .
I'm convinced I saw Jesus the other day "
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 28 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
I'm the same. It's cheaper than 4 ply
And you get a free Rorschach test when you inspect the poo .
I'm convinced I saw Jesus the other day "
Was he handing you toilet paper? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
Oh, you are going to mess up the scoring system! I also had to check your profile to see if you were 'bi' as that could explain a lot - but no excuse apparently
Weakest excuse for profile perv ever Phooey. You had a wank, dintja?"
Obviously, it is only natural when perusing your profile pic. I cannot decide if it reminds me of David Bowie or a young Julian Assange  |
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
I'm the same. It's cheaper than 4 ply
And you get a free Rorschach test when you inspect the poo .
I'm convinced I saw Jesus the other day
Was he handing you toilet paper? "
No, it was the Crown of Corns that gave it away |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
Oh, you are going to mess up the scoring system! I also had to check your profile to see if you were 'bi' as that could explain a lot - but no excuse apparently
Weakest excuse for profile perv ever Phooey. You had a wank, dintja?
Obviously, it is only natural when perusing your profile pic. I cannot decide if it reminds me of David Bowie or a young Julian Assange "
Btw what the hell does this emoji represent Because it has a question mark, I take it as quizzical or confused, but it could be a light bulb moment, or else it is a full frontal of someone's bellend  |
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"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
Oh, you are going to mess up the scoring system! I also had to check your profile to see if you were 'bi' as that could explain a lot - but no excuse apparently
Weakest excuse for profile perv ever Phooey. You had a wank, dintja?
Obviously, it is only natural when perusing your profile pic. I cannot decide if it reminds me of David Bowie or a young Julian Assange "
Nice flattery  . Wank perv! . |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 28 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
So...
I fold, but then, once I've wiped the area, the paper is scrunched as I delicately use my middle finger to slightly penetrate myself with the paper, rotating about 60° once it's partly in, to properly clean the exit canal.
As I pop my finger out, the paper naturally degloves and falls away into the awaiting bog of eternal stench.
There is no requirement for paper inspection.
 |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 28 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I fold and then give a semi-scrunch.
Am I allowed to play?
I'm the same. It's cheaper than 4 ply
And you get a free Rorschach test when you inspect the poo .
I'm convinced I saw Jesus the other day
Was he handing you toilet paper?
No, it was the Crown of Corns that gave it away"
 |
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I'm an old hand at this, there are many factors to consider.
Sensory data can be gathered during the expulsion experience. However, it may be necessary to analyse the byproduct. Then one has to consider time available and the environment. E.g. what facilities are available to achieve optimal results.
The initial approach wil be to fold, this gives excellent coverage, but may not deal with the hard to reach clingons. It will however provide solid data to confirm the theoretical assessment.
Then a scrunch or roll, secondary or even tertiary technique may be applied. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"What are the scores so far?
 "
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)"
Damn Hans of Hate has added to the both row
Both*** 3 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
Damn Hans of Hate^^ has added to the both row
Both*** 3"
^^ of FATE - sorry! |
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"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
Damn Hans of Hate has added to the both row
Both*** 3"
I've not tried a cricket racquet before.
Wouldn't it give me googley eyes? |
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"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)"
Yay I’m an oddball!
I’m ok with this! |
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"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
Damn Hans of Hate has added to the both row
Both*** 3"
Fantastic. I like a tie. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"What are the scores so far?
It's complicated 
I’m deeply invested by now and I hope it ahem, clears up !"
I would point out that you and some others have not answered this crucial question. If you are afraid that the results may be used by researchers at Sydney Uni, then you should not be, as to date none of the researchers (given away by the T-shirts and Tabbards that they wear) have appeared on the thread.
Besides all results are to be sent to the now defunct Trump Uni, which I believe will reopen after January 2025 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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OK chaps, I am meant to be working, and my sojourn on Fab must come to an end for at least the next twenty minutes (attention span of a gnat, means it could be 20 seconds).
I shall revert at lunchtime. |
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"Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)"
I have to keep my secrets safe from my wife, my girlfriends, *and* my FWB. Every day is a struggle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
I have to keep my secrets safe from my wife, my girlfriends, *and* my FWB. Every day is a struggle."
I know the feeling - I had to disinherit my son since he folds (He also sits on the damn toilet for hours, and its not as if he takes the newspaper with him - he uses his phone, which must leave smears surely?)
Damn, I seem to be back within minutes! |
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"What are the scores so far?
It's complicated
I’m deeply invested by now and I hope it ahem, clears up !
I would point out that you and some others have not answered this crucial question. If you are afraid that the results may be used by researchers at Sydney Uni, then you should not be, as to date none of the researchers (given away by the T-shirts and Tabbards that they wear) have appeared on the thread.
Besides all results are to be sent to the now defunct Trump Uni, which I believe will reopen after January 2025 "
I shall indeed promptly correct such faux pas and reveal I strongly belong to the fold team.
I also would like to point out there’s a missed opportunity for a perfect matching thread OP.
Just saying |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 28 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
Damn Hans of Hate has added to the both row
Both*** 3
Fantastic. I like a tie."
(Everyone else uses toilet paper, but you do you...) |
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"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
Damn Hans of Hate has added to the both row
Both*** 3
Fantastic. I like a tie.
(Everyone else uses toilet paper, but you do you...) "
It folds so nicely tho! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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Update at 10.58
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 5
Both 3
Oddballs 2 (use of a knot)
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, FWBs, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information) |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 28 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
Damn Hans of Hate has added to the both row
Both*** 3
Fantastic. I like a tie.
(Everyone else uses toilet paper, but you do you...)
It folds so nicely tho!"
That's true; and if you use my technique, you could stuff quite a bit up your back passage and then pull it out, like anal beads without the beads, leaving you with a whistle clean poop tube! It's a bit like cleaning the barrel of a rifle.  |
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"What are the scores so far?
So Miss Dee, this is my attempt, but you have to recognise that there are some seriously challenged people playing this game, and they are not following the rules (it's simply not cricket).
So here goes:
Scrunch 4 (that includes Davina who takes things just that bit too far - as ever)
Fold 2
Both 2***
Oddballs 1
Abstain 1 (on the grounds of incriminating themselves, with the potential for the wife, g/f, partner to get very cross if they disclose this information)
Damn Hans of Hate has added to the both row
Both*** 3
Fantastic. I like a tie.
(Everyone else uses toilet paper, but you do you...)
It folds so nicely tho!
That's true; and if you use my technique, you could stuff quite a bit up your back passage and then pull it out, like anal beads without the beads, leaving you with a whistle clean poop tube! It's a bit like cleaning the barrel of a rifle. "
Davina you genius. I see a whole new world of possibilities! Thank you lord! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"
It folds so nicely tho!
That's true; and if you use my technique, you could stuff quite a bit up your back passage and then pull it out, like anal beads without the beads, leaving you with a whistle clean poop tube! It's a bit like cleaning the barrel of a rifle. "
Is the rifle reference a sign of the South African influence? Surely we should also have some reference to corn hobs or maybe the use of the flower from the king protea? |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 28 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"
It folds so nicely tho!
That's true; and if you use my technique, you could stuff quite a bit up your back passage and then pull it out, like anal beads without the beads, leaving you with a whistle clean poop tube! It's a bit like cleaning the barrel of a rifle.
Is the rifle reference a sign of the South African influence? Surely we should also have some reference to corn hobs or maybe the use of the flower from the king protea?"
You have to take it too far, don't you?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"...
I also would like to point out there’s a missed opportunity for a perfect matching thread OP.
Just saying "
Miss Dee can you elaborate? You can DM me if you prefer to keep it quiet.
Not sure if it would be a matching thread involving Sydney Uni or Trumps!
|
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"...
I also would like to point out there’s a missed opportunity for a perfect matching thread OP.
Just saying
Miss Dee can you elaborate? You can DM me if you prefer to keep it quiet.
Not sure if it would be a matching thread involving Sydney Uni or Trumps!
"
No no, matching people as per preferences. Folders with folders and scrunchers with scrunchers or go completely wild and match the opposite!
I think I need another coffee.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 28 weeks ago
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"
No no, matching people as per preferences. Folders with folders and scrunchers with scrunchers or go completely wild and match the opposite!
I think I need another coffee.
"
Miss Dee, I will leave that for you - I can promise you that if you started the thread, you would be inundated with replies (not quite sure why that is, maybe its an age thing!?!) |
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"
No no, matching people as per preferences. Folders with folders and scrunchers with scrunchers or go completely wild and match the opposite!
I think I need another coffee.
Miss Dee, I will leave that for you - I can promise you that if you started the thread, you would be inundated with replies (not quite sure why that is, maybe its an age thing!?!)"
It wouldn’t go well
Should’ve stayed in my head! |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 28 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"
No no, matching people as per preferences. Folders with folders and scrunchers with scrunchers or go completely wild and match the opposite!
I think I need another coffee.
Miss Dee, I will leave that for you - I can promise you that if you started the thread, you would be inundated with replies (not quite sure why that is, maybe its an age thing!?!)
It wouldn’t go well
Should’ve stayed in my head! "
I'll sign up for it right now. I'd be amused to see what poor sod got matched with me. |
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"
No no, matching people as per preferences. Folders with folders and scrunchers with scrunchers or go completely wild and match the opposite!
I think I need another coffee.
Miss Dee, I will leave that for you - I can promise you that if you started the thread, you would be inundated with replies (not quite sure why that is, maybe its an age thing!?!)
It wouldn’t go well
Should’ve stayed in my head!
I'll sign up for it right now. I'd be amused to see what poor sod got matched with me. "
Hopefully it will be me |
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