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Mental health check in - Saturday
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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How are you all doing folks ?
How is life ? Do you need to talk/scream or just need someone to listen ? Use this thread to vent and get it off your chest. My pm is open for people that want to chat privately
And please remember you are never alone, seek help  |
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Had some ups and downs the past week or so, particularly with some jarring changes I wasn't prepared for, but right now things are really good! I had a wonderful evening meeting someone new I'd been chatting to, and my wife's new relationship has been adorable to see develop.
Gutted that I got distracted by forum posts and missed the midnight Duolingo cutoff, though.  Thankfully I keep my streak freezes stocked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"How have *you* been doing, Dave? It's important to make sure you're looking after yourself, too, while you're doing it for everyone else.  "
I’ve been okay I guess, just the usual stresses and work shit but I’m all good thanks for checking in |
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"How are you all doing folks ?
How is life ? Do you need to talk/scream or just need someone to listen ? Use this thread to vent and get it off your chest. My pm is open for people that want to chat privately
And please remember you are never alone, seek help "
I’m great OP.
Very considerate of you to put it out there for anyone who is feeling a bit under the weather |
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By *r TriomanMan 21 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Really very thoughtful of you OP, it's always great to know that there's someone to talk to who is happy to listen; my life is, as always, is pretty great but I know that this isn't the case for some folk, by starting this thread, I know you'll be providing a much needed life line for people that need it. |
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This is a difficult time of the year. A challenging anniversary on the horizon, which always provokes a lot of difficult memories. I don’t really know if I’ve properly accepted what happened, and whether those events are truly in the past. For the most part I don’t dwell, but this time of year always brings it all back. It makes me quiet, insular, demotivated. It affects my sleep - which is why I’m here typing this instead of in bed. This year I’m trying to be a little more open about it, but I don’t know if it’s helping. Anyway, how are you OP? x |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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After an abrupt unmatch on hinge I was pretty down on the whole online dating/ dying alone/ still being single scenario.
Like she made the first move, wanted a dad bod guy and shared interests, so disappointed she just unmatched with no word/reason, literally mid way through responding to her voice note. Online dating is brutal.
But having spent time with friends and family I’m feeling positive about life again.
That peace of self sufficiency and being ‘my own man’ shouldn’t be lightly surrendered for an ill fitting match, equally though I’m open to date.
So positive I guess |
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"Upward trajectory. I've created a brilliant opportunity for myself and am feeling brutal imposter syndrome. I think it'll pass."
Not sure if this will help or not, but any time you feel brutal impostor syndrome, just try to remind yourself that somewhere out there is a mediocre guy with half your talent in whatever it is you do who is loudly proclaiming himself an unassailable expert in it. |
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"Upward trajectory. I've created a brilliant opportunity for myself and am feeling brutal imposter syndrome. I think it'll pass.
Not sure if this will help or not, but any time you feel brutal impostor syndrome, just try to remind yourself that somewhere out there is a mediocre guy with half your talent in whatever it is you do who is loudly proclaiming himself an unassailable expert in it."
I say "may God grant me the confidence of a mediocre white man" several times a day 
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Actually, tonight, fierce & rarely unforgiving. 
I think I’ve broken the back of a few things in the last few days that I’ve been struggling with; people, poor behaviour’s and disingenuousness.
Of late made a few hard calls for me, and everyone paid off.
So ascending, still trying to rebuild damaged confidence … but its the people who keep trying to knock it down. But they’re gone now… doors closed.
Yay
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"Actually, tonight, fierce & rarely unforgiving.
I think I’ve broken the back of a few things in the last few days that I’ve been struggling with; people, poor behaviour’s and disingenuousness.
Of late made a few hard calls for me, and everyone paid off.
So ascending, still trying to rebuild damaged confidence … but its the people who keep trying to knock it down. But they’re gone now… doors closed.
Yay
"
You're not allowed to have damaged confidence; you're Chad. Fuckin'. Thundercock. If you're not brimming with unearned confidence, there's no hope for any of us. |
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"Wishing had the ability and nerve to obliterate myself and forget the world for a while (or ever) but have people who want me around, so we put one foot in front of the other and go again. "
Keep going - that’s the important thing |
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I have had a stressful week, it's mostly due to my job. I have been told that I am being TUPE to an outside company. I have been with my current employer for nearly 16yrs and they decided to outsource their security. I have been bombarded by the new company with forms to fill in and provide all sorts of info. I told the new company I don't do extra hours. But they didn't listen and booked me on course on my days off.(Grrrrrr) |
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"How are you all doing folks ?
How is life ? Do you need to talk/scream or just need someone to listen ? Use this thread to vent and get it off your chest. My pm is open for people that want to chat privately
keep punching brother we got this
And please remember you are never alone, seek help "
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What a lovely thoughtful Topic and thread, it can be easy to get wrapped up in you're own personal issues so it's refreshing to see you're not the only one and that there are people in the same boat looking out for one another, thank you all. I'll share my shit when I'm ready, I just wanted to say Thanks, peace n love x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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Sorry folks I went to bed early last night and just slept like a baby, I was drained 
To everyone that’s commented and spoke yous are brave and I’m proud of yous keep your heads up and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE
I’m going to start a new thread like this every few days I think  |
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I do love to see this, people sharing what's going on for them openly.
It's been a mixed bag for me, some wonderful things happening and some painful external stressors. So there's a lot of ambivalence for me right now. Some frustration and feelings of powerlessness that some issues can't be resolved any time soon. It feels like a boulder is chained to me, at times.
Sometimes I chisel away at it, other times I try to accept it and live with it. Neither approach seems satisfactory for long. I have the Sisyphus feeling of futility as a permeating undertone. And yet I cannot step-away. I am bound to it by the same links of love that bring me joy.
What's the captain's dirt doing in my yard Luke? |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Starting to rise again, still dealing with lots of change at work and of course my beloved cat who is at end of life and the emotional daily yo-yo that brings... But i feel in a better place than this time last week. I'll be radiating again soon |
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"Starting to rise again, still dealing with lots of change at work and of course my beloved cat who is at end of life and the emotional daily yo-yo that brings... But i feel in a better place than this time last week. I'll be radiating again soon "
Hugs xx |
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"Starting to rise again, still dealing with lots of change at work and of course my beloved cat who is at end of life and the emotional daily yo-yo that brings... But i feel in a better place than this time last week. I'll be radiating again soon "
Awww sorry to hear about your cat midnight there’s nothing worse |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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"If I sat and thought about things I'd probably just cry.
At the moment I just deal with the little things.
Seems to work."
Focus one day at a time and if that is too much, one hour at a time xx
You are always welcome in my dm x |
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By *scaMan 21 weeks ago
Herts / London / Beyond |
"If I sat and thought about things I'd probably just cry.
At the moment I just deal with the little things.
Seems to work."
Hang in there.
Sometimes it is darkest just before the dawn.
Like others have said, here if you need a shoulder. We will catch you if you fall. Keep going! |
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"How are you all doing folks ?
How is life ? Do you need to talk/scream or just need someone to listen ? Use this thread to vent and get it off your chest. My pm is open for people that want to chat privately
And please remember you are never alone, seek help "
I have an anniversary or two coming up in a few days and then next month. One I couldn't help, one I feel so so so angry/guilty and horrified about.
Everything at the moment is topsy turvy and I don't know whether I coming or going. I have so much to vent, yet it seems as if I'm still going through a process and haven't got to the letting go stage of any of it. I feel as if should be getting over things and I feel like Im boring people now with all the multitude of stuff that's going on.
I just feel so tired and so upset and I can't shake out of it. |
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My mental health is much better now that I have got rid of nasty toxic people out of my life i don’t need anyone who is constantly spiteful to me & watch me struggle I do wonder if they even liked me so F u mother I had enough |
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"If I sat and thought about things I'd probably just cry.
At the moment I just deal with the little things.
Seems to work."
Sorry to read this. Small wins can add up though so dealing with the little things is still worthwhile. |
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Seems to be a few people that are a bit low.
I'm hoping mine is temporary and just a bit of a comedown after some real highs
I am very fortunate to have no real bad experiences and some great people around me to unload to.
Best wishes to anyone struggling and thanks to everyone who sends encouraging words to us x |
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Finaly got a formal diagnosis for ADHD and mild Autism.
Been prescribed ritalin and it has made a big difference. Depression and anxiety are much lower and I can focus better.
The split from my wife hit me hard and I was hoping we would get back together. However we are now great friends and agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea and doing want is best for our daughter.
So I have accepted it.
So time to rebuild, 1 step 1 punch |
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"Finaly got a formal diagnosis for ADHD and mild Autism.
Been prescribed ritalin and it has made a big difference. Depression and anxiety are much lower and I can focus better.
The split from my wife hit me hard and I was hoping we would get back together. However we are now great friends and agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea and doing want is best for our daughter.
So I have accepted it.
So time to rebuild, 1 step 1 punch "
Although that's not a good situation, it sounds like you are making the best of it and are putting your daughter first. Well done, and I hope your acceptance of the situation leads to a place of peace. |
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"Finaly got a formal diagnosis for ADHD and mild Autism.
Been prescribed ritalin and it has made a big difference. Depression and anxiety are much lower and I can focus better.
The split from my wife hit me hard and I was hoping we would get back together. However we are now great friends and agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea and doing want is best for our daughter.
So I have accepted it.
So time to rebuild, 1 step 1 punch "
Congratulations (if that's how you're feeling) about your diagnosis. If you're feeling a bit knocked around by it, I hope you have a safe journey to feeling a bit more stable.
I came across a video (That Autism Guy - 20 Tips for Managing Life after a Late Autism Diagnosis) which might be useful. I can't link it because the tail of the Youtube link contains a forbidden word, so go figure
This creator has AuDHD - I don't have ADHD so I don't watch that stuff, but it might be useful https://www.youtube.com/@YoSamdySam |
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"Finaly got a formal diagnosis for ADHD and mild Autism.
Been prescribed ritalin and it has made a big difference. Depression and anxiety are much lower and I can focus better.
The split from my wife hit me hard and I was hoping we would get back together. However we are now great friends and agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea and doing want is best for our daughter.
So I have accepted it.
So time to rebuild, 1 step 1 punch
Although that's not a good situation, it sounds like you are making the best of it and are putting your daughter first. Well done, and I hope your acceptance of the situation leads to a place of peace."
Thanks also living on my own wasn't doing me any good. My lodger moved out when his tennecy was over and couldn't face advertising and interviewing people. In a twist of fate and old friend from a house share years ago got in contact needing a room. So hes moving in next week so that will help. |
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Rapidly approaching the stage of selling everything, and fucking getting ourself stranded on a sunny, deserted island. There are so many complications and distractions to easy (easier said than done, at least) solutions, that it then turns to frustration.
Ever seen the Matrix Reloaded, where Neo is in the room with the Architect and there are hundreds of screens with Neo shouting and arguing? Yep, that's my head. |
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"Finaly got a formal diagnosis for ADHD and mild Autism.
Been prescribed ritalin and it has made a big difference. Depression and anxiety are much lower and I can focus better.
The split from my wife hit me hard and I was hoping we would get back together. However we are now great friends and agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea and doing want is best for our daughter.
So I have accepted it.
So time to rebuild, 1 step 1 punch
Congratulations (if that's how you're feeling) about your diagnosis. If you're feeling a bit knocked around by it, I hope you have a safe journey to feeling a bit more stable.
I came across a video (That Autism Guy - 20 Tips for Managing Life after a Late Autism Diagnosis) which might be useful. I can't link it because the tail of the Youtube link contains a forbidden word, so go figure
This creator has AuDHD - I don't have ADHD so I don't watch that stuff, but it might be useful https://www.youtube.com/@YoSamdySam"
I have had ADHD since birth and always known it. You won't get much help on the NHS and a GP can't prescribe ritalin. So paid to go private (Harley street) and they were great.
GPs were just shoving sentraline etc at me which doesn't treat the root cause. ADHD is lack of the brain producing dompamine so hits that receptor not the serotonin one |
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"Finaly got a formal diagnosis for ADHD and mild Autism.
Been prescribed ritalin and it has made a big difference. Depression and anxiety are much lower and I can focus better.
The split from my wife hit me hard and I was hoping we would get back together. However we are now great friends and agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea and doing want is best for our daughter.
So I have accepted it.
So time to rebuild, 1 step 1 punch
Congratulations (if that's how you're feeling) about your diagnosis. If you're feeling a bit knocked around by it, I hope you have a safe journey to feeling a bit more stable.
I came across a video (That Autism Guy - 20 Tips for Managing Life after a Late Autism Diagnosis) which might be useful. I can't link it because the tail of the Youtube link contains a forbidden word, so go figure
This creator has AuDHD - I don't have ADHD so I don't watch that stuff, but it might be useful https://www.youtube.com/@YoSamdySam
I have had ADHD since birth and always known it. You won't get much help on the NHS and a GP can't prescribe ritalin. So paid to go private (Harley street) and they were great.
GPs were just shoving sentraline etc at me which doesn't treat the root cause. ADHD is lack of the brain producing dompamine so hits that receptor not the serotonin one"
Yeah. I know the basic mechanism. I'm just not ADHD myself (AuDHD is when you have the dual diagnosis). Was diagnosed with autism in 2019 and was just kind of left to figure it out for myself. I don't even know what I'd need, but it's a bit shit. Apparently I'm a vulnerable adult, eligible in principle for adult social services, but also there's nothing anyone can do for me. Which is... bizarre  |
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"Finaly got a formal diagnosis for ADHD and mild Autism.
Been prescribed ritalin and it has made a big difference. Depression and anxiety are much lower and I can focus better.
The split from my wife hit me hard and I was hoping we would get back together. However we are now great friends and agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea and doing want is best for our daughter.
So I have accepted it.
So time to rebuild, 1 step 1 punch
Congratulations (if that's how you're feeling) about your diagnosis. If you're feeling a bit knocked around by it, I hope you have a safe journey to feeling a bit more stable.
I came across a video (That Autism Guy - 20 Tips for Managing Life after a Late Autism Diagnosis) which might be useful. I can't link it because the tail of the Youtube link contains a forbidden word, so go figure
This creator has AuDHD - I don't have ADHD so I don't watch that stuff, but it might be useful https://www.youtube.com/@YoSamdySam
I have had ADHD since birth and always known it. You won't get much help on the NHS and a GP can't prescribe ritalin. So paid to go private (Harley street) and they were great.
GPs were just shoving sentraline etc at me which doesn't treat the root cause. ADHD is lack of the brain producing dompamine so hits that receptor not the serotonin one
Yeah. I know the basic mechanism. I'm just not ADHD myself (AuDHD is when you have the dual diagnosis). Was diagnosed with autism in 2019 and was just kind of left to figure it out for myself. I don't even know what I'd need, but it's a bit shit. Apparently I'm a vulnerable adult, eligible in principle for adult social services, but also there's nothing anyone can do for me. Which is... bizarre "
Sorry to hear that, my autism was mild so yeah they aren't treating that. My ADHD was level 5. I was able to mask it for years but it got worse as I got older and the last year had so much trauma that I had "ADHD" shutdown.
When I was at school it wasn't a thing but there is no point dwelling what could have been. Its does have its advantages I excelled in IT from a young age and was all I was interested in. I done well in my Jobs as if there was an IT problem I could kind of "sense" whjat was wrong and fix it. Some people called me Rain Man as I could solve mathmatical puzzles my head instantly, add up, work out percentages in my head. Sorry ranting its the meds |
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"Proper down today, could do with some cheering up.
Feel free to message me if you need to talk about anything that's on your mind."
I tried but couldn't due to restrictions, but I appreciate you taking the time to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 weeks ago
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Folks from reading that I see a lot of yous are feeling down, my heart goes out to yous and please remember THAT ITS ONLY TEMPORARY AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER
Again if anyone is really struggling reach out to someone (my inbox is always open) if that’s not your thing call the free Samaritans helpline on 116 123
Keep your heads all up guys and girls and remember
You are loved |
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