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Gifts on first meet
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By *cott73Man 21 weeks ago
brighton |
"Quick one . Is it rude to bring a small gift on your first meet ? Bottle of wine, box of chocolate or strawberries etc "
I always bring a bottle of wine if I'm being hosted. Just the right thing to do (if it's past lunchtime!) |
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Always bring a bottle of wine and some nibbles! We’ve met men who came to ours who brought me flowers, plants and wine. Also some who didn’t even turn up with a condom lol.
There is no expectation to bring something but if they drink can’t go wrong with a bottle of vino! |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Depends on the gift.
I’ve received flowers, chocolates, wine, a power bank charger, and someone brought me something unique that they made a massive effort to source. Some have been awkward and others have been genuinely lovely.
If you’re inspired, do it. If not, don’t. But any gift giving should be because that’s what you fancy doing not because you’re hoping to receive something from them. Even sex. |
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"How could that be construed as rude?
Maybe a bit much if it’s a casual coffee date or and fuck and go.
Mrs TMN x"
Thank you. Maybe I am just little anxious. I just didnt know whether women would take it as token of aprreciation or it comes accross as payment |
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"How could that be construed as rude?
Maybe a bit much if it’s a casual coffee date or and fuck and go.
Mrs TMN x
Thank you. Maybe I am just little anxious. I just didnt know whether women would take it as token of aprreciation or it comes accross as payment"
Depends on the situation. Having a date or similar - fine. Whapping your nob out whilst proferring some milk tray or a bunch of geraniums - bit weird. But everyone’s different, if it feels natural to you, do it. Good luck! X |
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"i wont accept gifts in fact i find it a little creepy and off putting its not dating its swinging ots about having fun ..
thats my own opinion of course
"
Exactly my fear . I undestand it swinging but its just a token of appreciation. Why do you find it creepy receiving a bottle of wine ? |
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I once met a couple separately. I met the husband first as he was working close to where I live. I took him a breakfast sandwich.
A couple of days later I met his wife at their home, I took a selection of cakes from Costco.
I like cake  |
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By *bi HaiveMan 21 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
As most of my first meets are purely social, to get a feel for one another, I'd never take a 'gift'.
To me it could potentially come across as 'I've bought you something so you owe me'.
I've bought things for people that have become friends later though. Nothing extravagant ever and never as a form of encouragement for anything to happen.
If I was going to a party I'd just take a bottle of wine. But that's exactly what I'd do for a vanilla party/night with friends.
It's not impolite to turn up without one at a Fab meet. I don't think people expect you to. |
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"If I'm being hosted I'll bring a bottle of wine or a some nice biscuits for a cup of tea. Nothing extravagant.
I just consider that polite
"
We’re the same never turn up empty handed nibbles and a bottle of wine. |
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Personally, this isn't something that I do. I suspect the gesture of 'gift giving' can be misconstrued or misinterpreted as a form of expectation or obligation.
I have on occasions written them a sonnet on parchment, tied with a red silken bow and impressed with a wax seal. |
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Only acceptable if the chat leading up to the meet would warrant a small token. For example, If I said I loved krispy crème doughnuts I would bot expect a dozen but maybe 1 might break the ice ya know? |
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By *oxy jWoman 21 weeks ago
somerset |
"i wont accept gifts in fact i find it a little creepy and off putting its not dating its swinging ots about having fun ..
thats my own opinion of course
Exactly my fear . I undestand it swinging but its just a token of appreciation. Why do you find it creepy receiving a bottle of wine ? "
a token of appreciation it is not tho with most ... i cant be brought / gifted to me it feels wrong totally wrong im here to have fun im here to have sex with others im not here to recive gifts and its just so awkward and as i said to be a massive turn off to the point i will not go further with the meet if someone turns up with gift of any type ...
when i meet a guy i want it on equal grounds ie my body his body and ravish each other when its over i want to think of the fun we had and nothing else ... there are plenty who want gifts some want real big expensive gifts or money thats not for me..
as for home baked cakes ...puke sorry if i dont know that person im not eating their cakes 
i think to play safe you should at least ask because i know im not alone only a couple of weeks ago a couple met a guy who turned up with flowers they turned around and said sorry we no longer interested and walked away so i guess its your choice just be prepared for some to walk away
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"Aside from Rubik bringing me chocolate (but then that wasn't a meet, it was a proper date) I've never been gifted anything, I mean I meet all the wrong fellas lol x"
How would you feel if someone gifted you |
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"i wont accept gifts in fact i find it a little creepy and off putting its not dating its swinging ots about having fun ..
thats my own opinion of course
Exactly my fear . I undestand it swinging but its just a token of appreciation. Why do you find it creepy receiving a bottle of wine ?
a token of appreciation it is not tho with most ... i cant be brought / gifted to me it feels wrong totally wrong im here to have fun im here to have sex with others im not here to recive gifts and its just so awkward and as i said to be a massive turn off to the point i will not go further with the meet if someone turns up with gift of any type ...
when i meet a guy i want it on equal grounds ie my body his body and ravish each other when its over i want to think of the fun we had and nothing else ... there are plenty who want gifts some want real big expensive gifts or money thats not for me..
as for home baked cakes ...puke sorry if i dont know that person im not eating their cakes
i think to play safe you should at least ask because i know im not alone only a couple of weeks ago a couple met a guy who turned up with flowers they turned around and said sorry we no longer interested and walked away so i guess its your choice just be prepared for some to walk away
"
You put the other side of the coin clearly. I dont want a lady to feel bought but also want to say thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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"Rude, no.
Weird and slight serial killer vibes, yes."
But if it is Rum you will let them off (well, actually you will take it from their outstretched hand and close the door in their face, cos after all, it is not for sharing) |
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By *eliWoman 21 weeks ago
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I don't think it's necessarily rude or weird, it depends on how long you've been talking, what things are like etc.
I'd take wine/homemade cake first time I'm going to someone's house. Or a hotel. First social/date? Probably not.
Having said that, someone once gave me transposed sheet music they'd done of a piece we'd spoken about. I really appreciated that and thought it rather sweet and not weird at all. Thoughtful. |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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"I bought some treats for their cat once...I recently paid another visit but forgot the treats this time..the cat obviously hadn't forgotten...the look said it all.. "
Lucky it didn't take your leg off - those animals are viscous when they feel slighted (worse than a Black Mamba or a Banded Krait)  |
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I think gifts are in order .., it’s so special and I like giving
I usually take a special loaf I have made olive bread or sun dried tomato bread
A bottle of fizzy wine ( Graham beck ) a fave at the moment
To always a bottle of my home made cider
Usually flowers too
It’s nice to be kind |
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Nerø once treated me to a slap up lunch. I didn't expect or ask him to pay though, he's just a kind chap. I/we recently paid for food during a get together. It's just whatever suits the situation.
I/we wouldn't expect gifts, though. And bringing us wine or other alcohol is kinda pointless, it'll end up on the school tombola stall. |
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I had a friend bring me cake the first time we met but we'd been chatting for ages and already considered eachother friends. He brought me cake everytime we got together.
On a second date I've had cake, flowers, make up, rum, sex toys. None of it with any expectations. I've given gifts to friends too. |
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"Depends if she's classy or trashy.
I'd be flattered and appreciative..
Others in here have lower standards and experiences "
I don't have lower standards, it's not a date and it would seem like someone is trying to buy there way into bed.
But if you are happy with that then fine each to their own. |
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Mostly I invite people to my house, or the pub 5 mins walk down the road. Certainly I'll offer to pay for drinks or food if wanted, not really the kind of meeting to take a box of chocolates, but I have some at home. Certainly when I go to theirs I'd probably take something. |
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Funniest thing anyone has turned up with and it wasn't from here was half ounce illegal drugs, loads of bottles of spirits, champagne, loads of chocolate and fruit. Yes he owned a shop.
Usually flowers or chocolates is nice but I wouldn't expect them |
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"Not weird or rude at all. Unless of course it was mouthwash, a sponge and razor then I’d be slightly concerned
Bx
But a hedge trimmer.
That would be rude. "
During my bush era yes most definitely |
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