FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Undatable on Fab.
Undatable on Fab.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 14 weeks ago
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I asked a question a long time ago, whether anyone thought I was datable, I was going through pretty low point thinking there is nobody out there for me.
I had one answer that stuck in my mind, that would be alright if I wasn’t on Fab, (or something along those lines)
So my question is on about me, what all the we’re on here in a promiscuous, swinging type of way, do you look at some people and think - wow, they are so datable! Or or do you look at every profile as a sex meet only and nothing more? I’m not saying feelings might not get involved after you meet them, just that from the beginning, you see them as a sex object.
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Given that I'm in a very long, emotionally monogomous marriage I'm not really qualified to answer. However this has never stopped me before  .
*If* I was open to dating there are many people I would date in fact the people I find sexually attractive and the people I would date are the same. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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I'm not looking to date, but if I was I wouldn't be looking on fab.
I get people do, but I never would want a relationship with someone who was on here. But that's more due to my past history than other people.
So no, I just look at you guys as a bunch of penises. |
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I never look at a profile and think they’re dateable.
But sometimes after a few meets with someone you think to yourself “awww they’re really nice, the kind of guy I’d date” if only I wasn’t such a cock hungry slut!
And to be fair, a lot of folk are only on here looking to find that special someone, they just dress it up as them looking for lots of sex, but dig a bit deeper and they’re an old romantic, looking for lurrrrrrrve.
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Yeah definitely - 100% - Amd there have been women on here that I have dated properly and monogamously & I’m sure I will again. I’m just not interested in looking for that.
I don’t think things like ENM are truly hard constraints, occasionally you find someone they tick all your boxes, You don’t need them to be monogamous, but they make you want to be.
Lots of the married guys here are like that |
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"I never look at a profile and think they’re dateable.
But sometimes after a few meets with someone you think to yourself “awww they’re really nice, the kind of guy I’d date” if only I wasn’t such a cock hungry slut!
And to be fair, a lot of folk are only on here looking to find that special someone, they just dress it up as them looking for lots of sex, but dig a bit deeper and they’re an old romantic, looking for lurrrrrrrve.
"
Interesting point. Do you think people are sorta hard wired for monogamy? Or at least an emotional connection? |
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"I never look at a profile and think they’re dateable.
But sometimes after a few meets with someone you think to yourself “awww they’re really nice, the kind of guy I’d date” if only I wasn’t such a cock hungry slut!
And to be fair, a lot of folk are only on here looking to find that special someone, they just dress it up as them looking for lots of sex, but dig a bit deeper and they’re an old romantic, looking for lurrrrrrrve.
Interesting point. Do you think people are sorta hard wired for monogamy? Or at least an emotional connection? "
I don’t know really. I just know that a lot of people try and kid themselves that they’re looking for just sex, but that as soon as something more substantial (feelings wise) is offered, they’re on it like Sonic. |
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I am 100% undateable but also perfectly happy to stay that way.
I never look at people with dating in mind, but the longer I’m here the more I see majority do, even if they say they don’t.
There’s no way after establishing a bond with someone, based on sexual attraction, feelings aren’t going to be involved.
I’m actively avoiding that kind of thing. |
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I am not single, but every person I have been with sexually on Fab I would have very easily dated/been in a relationship with.
That is my fucking problem and that is why the little heart gets bruised. |
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I don't think this is quite what you're asking. But I'm unlikely to want to have sex with someone that I wouldn't also consider going on a date with. Not that I'd date them.
Does that even make sense? I wouldn't want to date them but I need to like them that much to get naked.
J |
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By *eliWoman 14 weeks ago
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I'm not a promiscuous, swinger type. I've never pretended to be, I'll often say I'm not a swinger in case people aren't truly fucking bored of me stating that.
I don't look at people as just penises/vaginas. I also don't look at them and think "oh you're so dateable". I couldn't have sex with someone if they're not the sort of person I'd go on a date with. Is that weird? Yeah probably.
I don't actively look for people to date but sometimes it clicks and works. For however long it works. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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Well I consider myself to suave, sensual, solvent, sanguine, sophisticated, sexy, sensible (sometimes) special scintillating, salubrious, serene and scrupulously steadfast with a rich seam of modesty engrained in my character.
So I am dateable but will I find the woman of my dreams on Fab at my stage in life I rather think not. But this is fun and I enjoy meeting like minded people getting naked and discussing politics! |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"Personally I'd I was single I don't think I'd date from fab. But saying that I wouldn't dare at all "
Why not?
I had a date from Fab on Thursday. Drinks nice dinner chat and a goodnight kiss.........all perfectly normal? |
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"Personally I'd I was single I don't think I'd date from fab. But saying that I wouldn't dare at all
Why not?
I had a date from Fab on Thursday. Drinks nice dinner chat and a goodnight kiss.........all perfectly normal?"
Because doing fab together requires trust and communication & I don't trust easy. |
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By *el71Couple 14 weeks ago
Preston |
"I'm not looking to date, but if I was I wouldn't be looking on fab.
I get people do, but I never would want a relationship with someone who was on here. But that's more due to my past history than other people.
So no, I just look at you guys as a bunch of penises. "
That's how my wife see me.... She often calls me a dick. ?? |
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"Did you mean specifically looking at a profile pictures, before you’ve got to know the person?
Be careful you don’t fall in love with the idea of somebody! "
I think that is a real danger especially if you're looking for more than just sex. It's easy to imagine that the person you're chatting too would be perfect dating material where the reality could be so very different.
I don't view people on here as dateable really. I'd need to meet them several times before it even crossing my mind... but that's really unlikely to happen as I'm too complicated to date. It's kinda why I'm here in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"Personally I'd I was single I don't think I'd date from fab. But saying that I wouldn't dare at all
Why not?
I had a date from Fab on Thursday. Drinks nice dinner chat and a goodnight kiss.........all perfectly normal?
Because doing fab together requires trust and communication & I don't trust easy."
Surely any relationship be it casual or moreso requires trust? |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"I don't consider anyone from anywhere as someone I'd want a serious relationship with.
I'd date men from here in a casual sense.
I'm not looking for a husband or live in lover."
Can two people of a certain age not have a transient relationship which is to say you have time together time away both enjoyable. I don’t see how having such an arrangement means marriage or cohabitation? |
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I was told by someone on Fab last year that I was totally fuckable and yet totally Undateable at the same time. That fucking hurt. And it was wrong. They were wrong to say it and they know it. Still hurt though. But it did make me realise my own worth.
I’ve found my partner here and I love him to bits 
These things happen
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"I was told by someone on Fab last year that I was totally fuckable and yet totally Undateable at the same time. That fucking hurt. And it was wrong. They were wrong to say it and they know it. Still hurt though. But it did make me realise my own worth.
I’ve found my partner here and I love him to bits
These things happen
"
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"I don't think this is quite what you're asking. But I'm unlikely to want to have sex with someone that I wouldn't also consider going on a date with. Not that I'd date them.
Does that even make sense? I wouldn't want to date them but I need to like them that much to get naked.
J"
Same. |
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Im learning not to see ppl as dateable. I like to have a bond with ppl before i share my body with them. Im working on balancing it out.
I certainly think theres a divide - ppl who would date via fab if the opportunity presented itself and people who are doing the sex and only the sex. |
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"I am not single, but every person I have been with sexually on Fab I would have very easily dated/been in a relationship with.
That is my fucking problem and that is why the little heart gets bruised. "
I could resemble this comment, if I'm not careful. |
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By *rBobbMan 14 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I was told by someone on Fab last year that I was totally fuckable and yet totally Undateable at the same time. That fucking hurt. And it was wrong. They were wrong to say it and they know it. Still hurt though. But it did make me realise my own worth.
I’ve found my partner here and I love him to bits
These things happen
"
I have found my partner here too and I love her to bits. She is part of me now  xxxx |
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"I was told by someone on Fab last year that I was totally fuckable and yet totally Undateable at the same time. That fucking hurt. And it was wrong. They were wrong to say it and they know it. Still hurt though. But it did make me realise my own worth.
I’ve found my partner here and I love him to bits
These things happen
"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ this happens
you find things your not looking for
emotions are always involved even when we say they are not !
things will be what they will be |
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By *eliWoman 14 weeks ago
. |
"I was told by someone on Fab last year that I was totally fuckable and yet totally Undateable at the same time. That fucking hurt. And it was wrong. They were wrong to say it and they know it. Still hurt though. But it did make me realise my own worth.
I’ve found my partner here and I love him to bits
These things happen
"
Awww LB, very happy for you. |
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I used to be undateable when I first joined, as I was only looking for one off fucks, with lots of different men.
Then I settled and became poly dateable, and have two amazing special friends in my life and we have just shared our 5 year anniversary
Happily we all also see other people, which makes going to the socials extra fun  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 14 weeks ago
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"Did you mean specifically looking at a profile pictures, before you’ve got to know the person?
Be careful you don’t fall in love with the idea of somebody! "
Kinda yeh. And no.
The idea of someone it’s me imagining that I am searching for a specific perfection.
What I mean is when you get to know somebody, how do you think let’s move from just a hook up to something more intimate. |
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"I asked a question a long time ago, whether anyone thought I was datable, I was going through pretty low point thinking there is nobody out there for me.
I had one answer that stuck in my mind, that would be alright if I wasn’t on Fab, (or something along those lines)
So my question is on about me, what all the we’re on here in a promiscuous, swinging type of way, do you look at some people and think - wow, they are so datable! Or or do you look at every profile as a sex meet only and nothing more? I’m not saying feelings might not get involved after you meet them, just that from the beginning, you see them as a sex object.
"
I don’t think I could sleep with someone I didn’t think was worthy of a connection of sorts, so do I look at potentials as dateable, yes!
Do I go on dates to find that connection, yes!
As long as they understand that actual it’s just a date with no outcome of long term relationship (as I’m already taken) then it can be a fun date of just getting to know each other for future endeavours.
Do I look at profiles and think they are fuckable, normally no, however only three so far!
There has to be a spark.
I need that connection, friendship, and trust above all. |
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Apart from the people I’ve become online friends with…
I don’t really see anything on a fab or online profile other than “this person has attractive pictures, we have some things in common.
I’m not looking to date anyone here, but compatibility and actually enjoying her company would be needed on top off attraction.
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"I asked a question a long time ago, whether anyone thought I was datable, I was going through pretty low point thinking there is nobody out there for me.
I had one answer that stuck in my mind, that would be alright if I wasn’t on Fab, (or something along those lines)
So my question is on about me, what all the we’re on here in a promiscuous, swinging type of way, do you look at some people and think - wow, they are so datable! Or or do you look at every profile as a sex meet only and nothing more? I’m not saying feelings might not get involved after you meet them, just that from the beginning, you see them as a sex object.
"
I don’t look at every profile that way.. in fact at all. I have to like someone as a person and we like the social side as well as the physical.
Given that myself and hubby are always looking for someone to compliment our relationship and potentially be very regular in meeting, I’d say that yes, I do judge people’s ’dateable-ness’. |
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Datable ? Good lord no.
I find it very easy to "compartmentalise", and I don't experience "emotional" connections. I allow 1 emotional connection to Mrs DS, because I will it so. But that "drawbridge" goes up if playing with someone else. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 14 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I've dated from here. I've married from here.
You never know who will arrive in your life, when or where. Or how long they'll be around.
So saying 'never' is kinda pointless really. What will be will be. |
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By *8on33Man 14 weeks ago
winfrith |
"I asked a question a long time ago, whether anyone thought I was datable, I was going through pretty low point thinking there is nobody out there for me.
I had one answer that stuck in my mind, that would be alright if I wasn’t on Fab, (or something along those lines)
So my question is on about me, what all the we’re on here in a promiscuous, swinging type of way, do you look at some people and think - wow, they are so datable! Or or do you look at every profile as a sex meet only and nothing more? I’m not saying feelings might not get involved after you meet them, just that from the beginning, you see them as a sex object.
"
I think that's the fundamental difference between men and women although I never view any woman as a sex object . |
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By *hilloutMan 14 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I suppose it depends if you've gotten to know the person well enough to form an opinion on the matter?
The thought of someone being potential dating / relationship material would not cross my mind in a club setting.
As the majority of women I met where through the forums, it's a different matter entirely. I got to know many fairly well. There were some that, had circumstances been different, would certainly have been dateable and candidates for a serious relationship. One eventually was, after a time. |
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I think I get where you’re going.
As if by being on fab there’s a (conscious or otherwise) connection that says you might be a bit easy/likely to enjoy being single and less dating material? Or that by being here and it essentially being a sex site, it might mean you’re not relationship material?
I’m mostly here for the filthy fun, very happy being single but if the right someone came along and the feels were there, I’d explore it if it seemed mutual. At the end of the day, they’re on fab too so I couldn’t judge them or rule them out for being so, if they seemed otherwise compatible. |
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If I was in a position where I was a dateable I wouldnt look on fab.
But, I have come across someone who I'd love to date on here. Unfortunately my situation makes me undateable, or maybe it's just me |
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I miss dating. I would date again. The boundaries of dating are fluid and it doesn't have to be overly serious or heading towards the boulevard of betrothal. But serious dating...proper dating... romantic dating, without any shackles...yes please. |
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I don't view people through that lens, but equally as I look for people I can connect with on more than just a physical level then if that was I was looking for, I probably would be picking people who I would find dateable.
I don't think that makes sense but it does to me. |
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"I don't view people through that lens, but equally as I look for people I can connect with on more than just a physical level then if that was I was looking for, I probably would be picking people who I would find dateable.
I don't think that makes sense but it does to me."
I think what you said made perfect sense and was what I was trying to say worded better.
You don’t want to date on here but would like to meet the type of person you feel is dateable. |
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By *elloWoman 14 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
I'd like to be considered a dateable option but I know I'm not someone who should date, I just don't do well in relationships even FWBs who are abit too keen make me feel claustrophobic.
People make comments like 'aren't you lonely' but I don't feel lonely, I love my own company but them asking me makes me wonder if I'm just delusional and I am in fact lonely but too daft to realise. |
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"I'd like to be considered a dateable option but I know I'm not someone who should date, I just don't do well in relationships even FWBs who are abit too keen make me feel claustrophobic.
People make comments like 'aren't you lonely' but I don't feel lonely, I love my own company but them asking me makes me wonder if I'm just delusional and I am in fact lonely but too daft to realise. "
It sounds like you're just fine as you are. |
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"I don't view people through that lens, but equally as I look for people I can connect with on more than just a physical level then if that was I was looking for, I probably would be picking people who I would find dateable.
I don't think that makes sense but it does to me.
I think what you said made perfect sense and was what I was trying to say worded better.
You don’t want to date on here but would like to meet the type of person you feel is dateable."
At least someone gets what I'm on about  |
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I don’t think I could have sex with someone that wasn’t ‘dateable’ but to me being dateable and ‘relationship material’ are different things.
I have dated people from here, but it wasn’t any deeper than two people enjoying each others company.
I have thought some of those would probably be good relationship material but unfortunately I’m not so it remained a passing thought. |
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"I've dated from here. I've married from here.
You never know who will arrive in your life, when or where. Or how long they'll be around.
So saying 'never' is kinda pointless really. What will be will be. "
Exactly! 
It cracks me up that some people say “I’d never consider dating people from Fab” as if all people here were lepers, pariahs of society, sex-starved zombies who have not another brain cell to emit electrical impulses to.. the lowest echelons of civilisation..
and it makes me wonder why they are here then? Surely being here makes them just as undesirable as all the rest for anything remotely more civilised, “vanilla” or normal!
I have met several highly intelligent and incredibly society functional people on Fab…and all very sexy to boot. Yes please to keep finding such gems on here! |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"I've dated from here. I've married from here.
You never know who will arrive in your life, when or where. Or how long they'll be around.
So saying 'never' is kinda pointless really. What will be will be.
Exactly!
It cracks me up that some people say “I’d never consider dating people from Fab” as if all people here were lepers, pariahs of society, sex-starved zombies who have not another brain cell to emit electrical impulses to.. the lowest echelons of civilisation..
and it makes me wonder why they are here then? Surely being here makes them just as undesirable as all the rest for anything remotely more civilised, “vanilla” or normal!
I have met several highly intelligent and incredibly society functional people on Fab…and all very sexy to boot. Yes please to keep finding such gems on here! "
Yes! I find it staggering when ppl say they wouldn't date someone from Fab...why not?? And the ppl judging negatively are on Fab themselves! |
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By *lder.Woman 14 weeks ago
Not Local |
There was a very definite distinction for me between meeting for sex only, where something about the person was instant attraction, and it would be mutually appreciative one off sex with nothing more. And then there was the meets that through messaging had become more of an emotional connection that would become a long term friendship, with sex that could have led to a dateable situation. Wives and 'ex' -girlfriends not withstanding. Would I look to date from here, No, I dont think I would, and by being here I also class myself as not 'datable' so dont offer myself up for that, as it were either. I think if anyone has been here any length of time and been moderatly successful on here, they will always feel the loss of meeting and interacting with lots of different people and will always be drawn back here, if they experience any bumps in the relationship road. Including myself in that, and because I am pretty much a monogamous type person I wouldnt put myself or anyone else through the uncertainty. And some of that is probably just my own personal demons. Anyway, Im not going to date again anyway, I have my spinning wheel and cat, Im good. |
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"I asked a question a long time ago, whether anyone thought I was datable, I was going through pretty low point thinking there is nobody out there for me.
I had one answer that stuck in my mind, that would be alright if I wasn’t on Fab, (or something along those lines)
So my question is on about me, what all the we’re on here in a promiscuous, swinging type of way, do you look at some people and think - wow, they are so datable! Or or do you look at every profile as a sex meet only and nothing more? I’m not saying feelings might not get involved after you meet them, just that from the beginning, you see them as a sex object.
"
We use fab and meets as a foreplay before our own personal play so just see people as sex objects.
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I would be open to date someone from fab, probably because I know vanilla dating would bore me a bit. I'm interested in ladies with a kink. Not likely to get that on match.
I know there's a few weird (mostly guys) on here. But the rest of us are pretty normal, just liberal and open about sexuality. What is not to like if you meet the right person. |
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I like to think I'm dateable, it seems to be that others think I'm not.
So maybe I'll just stay here until somebody decides I'm worth it. I'm not sure.
Edited to say that I don't mean I'll stay on Fab until someone from Fab etc etc. Just that I'll stay on Fab.
Fuckit.. I know what I mean, that's the important thing |
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