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To fuck or not to fuck...
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc. |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Never say never Meli! |
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By *hilloutMan 5 days ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
If I fancied them and they were keen, yes.
Yes, and I have. Interestingly, on 2 out of 3 occasions that rule was tossed out the window, resulting in play.
Not sure re the last one. My brain cells are exhausted from my grueling clinic today  |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc.
Never say never Meli!"
So you haven't? Or you have Phooey? It's all very confusing. |
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Yes I have had the sex on a first meet, I never take it for granted though.
It certainly wouldn’t sway me from meeting if no sex was on the cards.
It wouldn’t bother me if my date had a different idea of what was to happen |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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"It totally depends on how long we've been chatting and how much chemistry there is.
And how long ago I last had sex."
So Nell, have you had sex with someone the first time you've met them? We don't really talk much and I'm curious.
What would be reasons for you to wait? |
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Definitely varies.
In a club, where I have had a chat to someone, got a feel for their personality (mind out the gutter) and there's an obvious mutual physical attraction, definitely.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while, clicked and a social goes ridiculously well - it's a possibility although I prefer to make it just a social first off.
I wouldn't ever make arrangements after a couple of messages to meet up purely intending to play. Just not my way of doing things.
As regards someone else's activities outside of our own interactions - I'm fairly live and let live. There are certain activities (bareback for example) that would put me off but them playing with others on a first meet wouldn't - unless they kept badgering me about it. |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc.
If I fancied them and they were keen, yes.
Yes, and I have. Interestingly, on 2 out of 3 occasions that rule was tossed out the window, resulting in play.
Not sure re the last one. My brain cells are exhausted from my grueling clinic today "
Gruelling clinic/your advancing years. Either or. 
Oh so women who've said I don't have sex on the first social/m word have met you and their knickers have slid off? |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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"Yes I have had the sex on a first meet, I never take it for granted though.
It certainly wouldn’t sway me from meeting if no sex was on the cards.
It wouldn’t bother me if my date had a different idea of what was to happen "
Do you use the word date as a replacement for meet? Or is it because it's a date date?
Complete aside.  |
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By *hilloutMan 5 days ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc.
If I fancied them and they were keen, yes.
Yes, and I have. Interestingly, on 2 out of 3 occasions that rule was tossed out the window, resulting in play.
Not sure re the last one. My brain cells are exhausted from my grueling clinic today
Gruelling clinic/your advancing years. Either or.
Oh so women who've said I don't have sex on the first social/m word have met you and their knickers have slid off? "
Perhaps...middle age can be merciless
Indeed. I must've done something right  |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc.
Never say never Meli!
So you haven't? Or you have Phooey? It's all very confusing."
Well, it is all very confusing, cos I thought in most case not, but when I look at what has happened, sometimes I have talked to the person for a while, and then the first time we meet we seem to get naked. Others we may have intended only a social, but that has then moved back to my house and our clothes have mysteriously vanished again. However, I would say for half, we have managed to remain fully clothed for the first meet or two.
So it looks like the answer to your three questions is:
Yes, Yes and Yes again 
(I have shocked myself) |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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"Possibly
Possibly
And possibly
It’s all dependant on who’s , where’s and circumstances really .
Damn this fence is uncomfortable!"
Don't worry; there are a few who are also getting splinters as well. True comrades. |
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I suppose I'll answer properly.
Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them? - As a general rule, I would usually say no. I don't see it as a likely possibility and would never agree to meet someone for the first time and fuck them. But. Sometimes. You meet someone, there's those absolutely explosive fireworks of chemistry, their entire being sings to you, and you have the opportunity to act on it. It has happened before, however rarely. And I hope it happens again.
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you? - Of course. People are welcome to view sex as casually or seriousy as they like. Some people absolutely don't want to rush into something they might regret and I am not a person to shame someone for being what they believe to be reasonably cautious. If someone saw sex on a first encounter to be a necessity, I'd consider us incompatible and not meet them though.
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc. - I think that part is covered already. |
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"It totally depends on how long we've been chatting and how much chemistry there is.
And how long ago I last had sex.
So Nell, have you had sex with someone the first time you've met them? We don't really talk much and I'm curious.
What would be reasons for you to wait? "
Ok, stranger who I have very little contact with, I'll provide more detail.....
Yes, I've had sex with someone the first time I've met them.
I tend to talk to people for a month or two minimum, usually longer, before seeing them as I generally meet other forum users. I like that I can get a feel for someone's personality from observing their online interactions, which is what prompts me, or not, to send a DM and get chatting. By the time we meet in person a nice connection has been established. I never go to a first social with the expectation of sex, but I'm open to the possibility of it should that online chemistry transfer over into real life. If the spark isn’t there then it's not happening.
Also, distance is sometimes a deciding factor. If travelling a long way and the liklihood of seeing each other again soon is low, the attraction electric and mutual, then I'm not going to deny my vagina.
Reasons to wait would be....
- One of us needs longer to feel comfortable with the other.
- I'm on my period.
- We've met in a location that doesn't allow for sexual activity.
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By *xmfrvnMan 5 days ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
Anything is possible.
The social/meet is to make sure you want to do the things you think you want to do to the pictures. Which may be fine as part of that first meeting, or may be better left for later when comfort/rapport/horn has grown.
It all depends. |
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" I mean we had anal sex in the back of a qashquai on our first meet and have been together almost ten years now and married eight so I guess that's a yes"
Would it of changed things if it was a different make of car do you think? |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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" I mean we had anal sex in the back of a qashquai on our first meet and have been together almost ten years now and married eight so I guess that's a yes
Would it of changed things if it was a different make of car do you think?"
 |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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"Definitely varies.
In a club, where I have had a chat to someone, got a feel for their personality (mind out the gutter) and there's an obvious mutual physical attraction, definitely.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while, clicked and a social goes ridiculously well - it's a possibility although I prefer to make it just a social first off.
I wouldn't ever make arrangements after a couple of messages to meet up purely intending to play. Just not my way of doing things.
As regards someone else's activities outside of our own interactions - I'm fairly live and let live. There are certain activities (bareback for example) that would put me off but them playing with others on a first meet wouldn't - unless they kept badgering me about it. "
A full response.  Thanks Crimson.
So these socials are purely social or do they tend to lead to more?
Live and let live is good unless it has a negative effect on your interactions. |
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" I mean we had anal sex in the back of a qashquai on our first meet and have been together almost ten years now and married eight so I guess that's a yes
Would it of changed things if it was a different make of car do you think?"
Apparently, research shows that you can fit three child seats on the back seat of a Qashqai - which is not the case for other compact SUVs, so I imagine that it would have made a difference if the car was a different make  |
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By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
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"I suppose I'll answer properly.
Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them? - As a general rule, I would usually say no. I don't see it as a likely possibility and would never agree to meet someone for the first time and fuck them. But. Sometimes. You meet someone, there's those absolutely explosive fireworks of chemistry, their entire being sings to you, and you have the opportunity to act on it. It has happened before, however rarely. And I hope it happens again.
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you? - Of course. People are welcome to view sex as casually or seriousy as they like. Some people absolutely don't want to rush into something they might regret and I am not a person to shame someone for being what they believe to be reasonably cautious. If someone saw sex on a first encounter to be a necessity, I'd consider us incompatible and not meet them though.
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc. - I think that part is covered already."
Oh Prey you little softie coming back and answering in more detail. 
I hope you do get to experience that chemistry again. Life is too short to pass on certain opportunities isn't it?
I do think there's a compatibility issue? No, not issue. Situation when it comes to those we meet at times. If one is very much for casual sex and rather quickly and the other is more... I'd like to wait, perhaps it's not the best of fits. It can work though. |
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By *B69Woman 5 days ago
south west |
Yes I have done but we have spoken many times before and I plan on doing it again later this year, got to grab the opportunities when you can.
Can’t remember the other part to the thread I distracted by thinking of what will be  |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Yes and have done
Yes because what people say and what they do are often different
Yes every situation is unique. No pressure. Just let things unfold and what will be will be. |
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"Yes.
Yes.
What was the other question?
You're so quick Mrs NipNips.
Erm... well would you ever not have sex with someone straight away? What would make you wait?"
Sometimes practical factors, available time, location. Sometimes just to do with the chemistry, I go with the flow.
What about you, OP? |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Yes
Yes
No
If there is a click and a mutual agreement, I'm all for shagging with new meets
That said, it is never expected
Every meet is different
Everyone is different
There are different gels, different vibes
If I met someone and I found them icky or pushy or not as expected, I have absolutely no embarrassment in telling them nothing would happen between us
I would expect the same back
Imagine knowing someone fucked you for feeling compelled to
No. Just No.
Has that answered your questions well enough Meli? |
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"Yes….have done so with ONSs on night out and in my days on AFF where I’d spoken to (but not met) them first.
Yes I’d meet someone who didn’t think that way.
Academic now, however."
Whenever I see ONS I automatically read it as Office for National Statistics |
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Yes, why not. Why should one wait until date 2 or 3 before enjoying sex? It's 2024 not 1824 where sex is preceded by marriage, courting followed by sex with clothes on.
2) there's nothing wrong with sex with someone of a different opinion, except Tories. |
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" I mean we had anal sex in the back of a qashquai on our first meet and have been together almost ten years now and married eight so I guess that's a yes
Would it of changed things if it was a different make of car do you think?"
Vauxhall Corsa is a definite no.  |
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I have done in the past but never would again mainly because of the ridiculous level of drama that followed immediately after and the degree of expectation.
I insist on at least one social now and it's not negotiable. |
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It depends really. Sometimes you feel that instant connection with someone, the chat flows easily and you feel like you’ve known them for ages so when you meet there’s no awkwardness.
But if I chat with someone and I’m just not sure then I always arrange just a social and take it from there. |
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I would not meet someone under the pretence of us meeting equating to sex. I cannot say that I’ve never met anyone, ever and had sex the same day. I can say I’ve never met anyone from Fab and had sex during that same first initially coffee date. I have had sex with someone from Fab the same day we had coffee. We met two hours after leaving one another. It was meant to be a coffee only and we both had less than an hour. We ended up rescheduling our diaries, doing some errands together, visiting a museum, and having lunch all before leaving for meetings we rescheduled for later in the day.
We both suggested getting back together later that same evening not even one hour after we said goodbye at the Tube station.
I would meet someone who has sex on a first meet so long as they understood there was no expectation of sex with me on a coffee date.
There are times my answers varies. For example, if I go to a club I definitely have sex upon first meeting someone. Not two seconds after a hello but… also, depends because I could see situations in which I may bend my own idea — I don’t dare care it a rule as that just begs to be broken — in certain situations. I like to leave room for the opportunity where I may have a change of mind, rather than make it so tightly defined that I’m unable to deviate from my ways and somehow feel “bad”. |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Great question:
-No
-Yes
-No
But pretty illogical answers tbh if you really think about it, so not sure what this says about me…? |
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up to now Jenny has had sex with everyone we have met
However if the vibe was wrong or the person was not clean or weird then it would be a straight no thanks & we would have no hesitation on leaving.
We normally go for people who have veryfication's & touch wood that seems to have worked well so far.
On the occasions we have looked at people without veryfication's they have ghosted us at one stage or the other.
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"Definitely varies.
In a club, where I have had a chat to someone, got a feel for their personality (mind out the gutter) and there's an obvious mutual physical attraction, definitely.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while, clicked and a social goes ridiculously well - it's a possibility although I prefer to make it just a social first off.
I wouldn't ever make arrangements after a couple of messages to meet up purely intending to play. Just not my way of doing things.
As regards someone else's activities outside of our own interactions - I'm fairly live and let live. There are certain activities (bareback for example) that would put me off but them playing with others on a first meet wouldn't - unless they kept badgering me about it.
A full response. Thanks Crimson.
So these socials are purely social or do they tend to lead to more?
Live and let live is good unless it has a negative effect on your interactions."
Generally socials, yes. I think it's important for us both to be able to walk away and reflect, with no pressure, on whether they want to meet again. Very occasionally I've invited someone back to mine after a social but in each of those cases, we've been talking for some time in advance! |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
depends really |
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By *oody BMan 5 days ago
Mcr. - The Gilded Palace of Sin |
Yes. I have, I only ever met anybody that I actually fancied. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn’t.
But if I’ve ever met somebody I already fancy them enough to drive in bed with them if we did get along  |
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I have done and would do again, purely out of convenience as we didn't know if we would meet again if our schedules aligned.
Yes, I would do as I prefer a social first even if that's not always the case.
Yes it does. Someone who I've chatted to who's in my area Vs someone who lives near me would have different outcomes for a first meet  |
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Yes I would fuck someone I just meet.
Technically two guys today at the club I got fucked by two guys I didn't meet as in they sat down next to me and 5 mins later we were fucking. Last time I just as the woman next to me on the bed are you bi? She said yes I was licking her pussy. |
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By *IG OsMan 5 days ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Depends on how long been messaging for really. I won't know if I want to have sex with someone until we have met tbh, regardless of how long have been chatting for. Usually within first 5 minutes I will know but writing skills have very little to do with attraction. For me anyway and attraction has little to do with their looks, just to be clear, hope all's well with you Meli |
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I have in the past _eli. But now I'm more cautious about picking the wrong men. So I'm more likely to have a quick social only first. My resolve would probably weaken if I fancied the ass off him though lol!
What about you Meli? What are your thoughts on this? |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
I have - rarely is it worth it. One occasion became a FWB for a long time. That’s the exception though really.
Yes - just because someone sometimes does things differently doesn’t make either of us wrong. Nor does it change my mind.
My rules - I can break them if I wish. But yes - person & situations change things. |
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Have had sex with many people the first time we've met. Other occasions it's been after a few times. It's often just down to how we both feel. And how much booze was involved! Think the quickest was someone I got chatting to on a dating site. An hour later we were on the stairs in my house fucking! Think we were both just rather horny! |
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Yes, done that.
Yes, done that too.
Yes, but you are too far away Meli!
I always suggest a social first whether meeting a fabber or not. I like to connect with people. I have found the turn up and shag method doesn't work for me very often. |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
We’re swingers! :- |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Purely because each of those can't be quantified adequately enough in such a short statement to cover every situation presenting itself within the context of each statement. |
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" I mean we had anal sex in the back of a qashquai on our first meet and have been together almost ten years now and married eight so I guess that's a yes"
This is almost exactly what happened to me! Except it was a Fiesta. |
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"
I would not meet someone under the pretence of us meeting equating to sex. I cannot say that I’ve never met anyone, ever and had sex the same day. I can say I’ve never met anyone from Fab and had sex during that same first initially coffee date. I have had sex with someone from Fab the same day we had coffee. We met two hours after leaving one another. It was meant to be a coffee only and we both had less than an hour. We ended up rescheduling our diaries, doing some errands together, visiting a museum, and having lunch all before leaving for meetings we rescheduled for later in the day.
We both suggested getting back together later that same evening not even one hour after we said goodbye at the Tube station.
I would meet someone who has sex on a first meet so long as they understood there was no expectation of sex with me on a coffee date.
There are times my answers varies. For example, if I go to a club I definitely have sex upon first meeting someone. Not two seconds after a hello but… also, depends because I could see situations in which I may bend my own idea — I don’t dare care it a rule as that just begs to be broken — in certain situations. I like to leave room for the opportunity where I may have a change of mind, rather than make it so tightly defined that I’m unable to deviate from my ways and somehow feel “bad”. "
Bella, thanks for the essay, though you missed out the title "first date bonk, discuss"
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By *eli OP Woman 14 hours ago
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"I don't see the problem with have sex with someone you just met as this what this site is meant to be for swingers.
"
I don't think the site is *meant* to be for any one thing. Not any more. Perhaps when it first started.
I like reading how people view it. The differences in approaches etc. There's not a right/wrong way of doing it unless you're deliberately hurting another. |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
1) Yes. But it's unlikely a first meet would be for sex, it's more likely that we meet for a social, click quickly and then head to somewhere more comfortable.
2) Of course. I don't assume sex is going to happen, even if our virtual conversation has gone well and been...flirtatious. So I'd happily meet someone just to check out the vibes in person and hopefully meet someone interesting. If we might meet again for sex then that's delightful.
3) Definitely. Maybe I'm tired, maybe we weren't able to flirt and check out the sexual chemistry on the first meet because of what we were doing. Maybe there's something that's just making me uncertain about the person and I want to be more sure before I commit. |
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"I don't see the problem with have sex with someone you just met as this what this site is meant to be for swingers.
I don't think the site is *meant* to be for any one thing. Not any more. Perhaps when it first started.
I like reading how people view it. The differences in approaches etc. There's not a right/wrong way of doing it unless you're deliberately hurting another. "
There is no right or wrong way but at the end of the day this is meant to be a swinging site for like minded people to meet up for sex. |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Yes, yes. And not varied but times it makes it more likely. Am I meeting them from here -if so there's likely to be a sexual undercurrent. Did I meet them on a dating site-well goals are slightly different so sex may not be the most important outcome |
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"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
We have done many times in clubs, but we've also had loads of socials too.
Cal |
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By *ark73XXXMan 8 hours ago
North Staffs/South Cheshire |
"Would you have sex with someone the first time you meet them?
Would you meet someone who would answer that question differently to you?
Are there ever times where your answer varies? People. Situations etc."
Normally not
Yes I would
Yes |
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Mrs TMN x