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Yeh but do you fancy em though?
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How often do you meet people where you are like “phwoar, I proper fancy you like” and I don’t mean you think they are very good looking. I mean, you get that little feeling inside?
Do you get this with someone based of looks alone, do you need to be drawn to their personality to have this feeling?
Can you just meet somebody and feel this way or do you really need to get to know them first? |
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"How often do you meet people where you are like “phwoar, I proper fancy you like” and I don’t mean you think they are very good looking. I mean, you get that little feeling inside?
Do you get this with someone based of looks alone, do you need to be drawn to their personality to have this feeling?
Can you just meet somebody and feel this way or do you really need to get to know them first?"
100% some people have a natural chemistry and instantly drawn to each other |
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I can't properly fancy someone without meeting them, I need a personality for that, I can appreciate someone's attractiveness by their photos but not fancy them.
I couldn't just meet sexually based on pics and online chat, I need a social 1st. |
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same as MrsKOTCT - need a person attached to the words and the pictures, the words and the pictures open the door, the rest is a social and how that goes  .
to me how someone smells is important too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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"I can't properly fancy someone without meeting them, I need a personality for that, I can appreciate someone's attractiveness by their photos but not fancy them.
I couldn't just meet sexually based on pics and online chat, I need a social 1st."
I can fancy someone from photos and chat. If I know I know.
Unfortunately it's pretty rare. |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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"I can't properly fancy someone without meeting them, I need a personality for that, I can appreciate someone's attractiveness by their photos but not fancy them.
I couldn't just meet sexually based on pics and online chat, I need a social 1st."
Agreed! Same for me |
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"I can't properly fancy someone without meeting them, I need a personality for that, I can appreciate someone's attractiveness by their photos but not fancy them.
I couldn't just meet sexually based on pics and online chat, I need a social 1st.
I can fancy someone from photos and chat. If I know I know.
Unfortunately it's pretty rare. "
from past experiences I think people can be completely different in person (don't mean appreance) but talking via messages is comfortable but in person they loose the comfort zone and personality is completely different |
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By *edeWoman 22 weeks ago
the abyss |
Usually I need to get to know someone first to get that feeling.
On one occasion I have been drawn to someone based on minimal chat (in messages) and had an instant connection/feeling when met in person. Can't say what it was, I was just drawn to them but I think they have that kind of aura as most people are  |
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"Usually I need to get to know someone first to get that feeling.
On one occasion I have been drawn to someone based on minimal chat (in messages) and had an instant connection/feeling when met in person. Can't say what it was, I was just drawn to them but I think they have that kind of aura as most people are "
Absolutely this, a connection can come in a multitude of times.
It can be after a short time or a long time, as long as there’s that connection then that’s what’s important |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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If I wanted to meet them because of an online thing, I already fancy them, and sometimes if you then are lucky to meet up (social/meet) then the lightning can strike where I proper fancy the ass off them wanting to have them where they stand. (Or sit) |
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"How often do you meet people where you are like “phwoar, I proper fancy you like” and I don’t mean you think they are very good looking. I mean, you get that little feeling inside?
Do you get this with someone based of looks alone, do you need to be drawn to their personality to have this feeling?
Can you just meet somebody and feel this way or do you really need to get to know them first?"
I need to talk learn about their personality, opinions and more
Build that mental connection as much as physical one later |
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I have this awful tendency to look at someone hot and get all tongue tied (happened last night at work) so I try not to make eye contact and not look. I know I'm an instant faller in love so I don't take chances these days lol |
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"Personality all the way for me. Some of the most beautiful to look at people have rotten personalities. More about the person than how they look. xXx Raven "
Some of the most unattractive people have rotten personalities too. Looks aren't any indication of personality |
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By *eliWoman 22 weeks ago
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I don't. I don't get that feeling unless I've developed some sort of friendship with someone which is a bit odd admittedly but it's how I am. I can think someone is hot but it's not in a sort of "I need you now" way.
I need their personality, that foundation of friendship before I feel real attraction. I didn't think I could feel attracted to, like someone before I'd met them but given recent events... well I can. And on spending time with them that attraction, those feelings were far stronger than I thought they could be. I'd already placed it as quite high. :D
My feelings of lust, desire, grow the more I know someone, the more openness we share. I'm really not a swinger.  |
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I can see on a profile they are decent looking but experience has taught me not to build up your hopes, the real world meet can be a letdown or a total eye opener.
Some, shall we say average looking people are fabulous company, no drama, no angst, just bursting with laughter and enthusiasm, they are wonderful and the feelings of a great night ahead grow.
The opposite can also happen, good looking people but loads of baggage, full of themselves or just plain boring or socially inept.
Met a couple of forum experts, sadly not so expert in real life.
Just get out there, meet people and have an experience, its a numbers game.
Good luck. |
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So the common consensus seems to be that personality is what breaks that threshold. And I agree with this.
Sorry I should of mentioned that this isn’t online related, it’s more geared towards people you’ve physically met
I ask because i genuinely can’t remember the last time I proper fancied somebody like that, it’s got to be years ago.
I don’t know if it’s odd that I can find people attractive, like their personality and not “fancy” them.
I used to fancy anyone that showed me a bit off attention as a whipper snapper 
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"Personality all the way for me. Some of the most beautiful to look at people have rotten personalities. More about the person than how they look. xXx Raven
Some of the most unattractive people have rotten personalities too. Looks aren't any indication of personality "
Exactly more about the person than how they look |
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"So the common consensus seems to be that personality is what breaks that threshold. And I agree with this.
Sorry I should of mentioned that this isn’t online related, it’s more geared towards people you’ve physically met
I ask because i genuinely can’t remember the last time I proper fancied somebody like that, it’s got to be years ago.
I don’t know if it’s odd that I can find people attractive, like their personality and not “fancy” them.
I used to fancy anyone that showed me a bit off attention as a whipper snapper
"
You’re getting older and wiser. I was the exact the same when I was younger! |
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I really appreciate this post OP, thank you.
I can see if someone is good looking very early but that certain something to which you refer, can be very elusive. Just to add further complexity it can occur at any time.
To say personality is essential feels like a cop out, not because it is wrong, but because the physical aspect is important; yet even then, it's an aspect of personality: how someone carries and expresses themselves, physically. Someone may have beautiful eyes, yet it's the eye contact that inspires the feeling.
To simply say personality, doesn't offer anything tangible as it's an umbrella term for such a multitude of factors. What I need is time with a person where it feels right and that is our shared drive. The analysis of why we are compatible, is a complimentary but ancillary aspect.
When the relationship feels authentic, I find my attraction can be very diverse. |
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"I can't properly fancy someone without meeting them, I need a personality for that, I can appreciate someone's attractiveness by their photos but not fancy them.
I couldn't just meet sexually based on pics and online chat, I need a social 1st."
^ |
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I prefer the chemistry
I have let men have sex because I thought they were good looking but I really prefer to get to know them, once that happens there’s chemistry and attraction and sex and friendship are easy |
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By *otSoPoshWoman 22 weeks ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Happens rarely, but I've had it at first sight and after getting to know them.
They can be very conventionally attractive and it'll take ages for me to think they're sexy, though. |
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I’ve experience both ends of the spectrum.
There are people I fancy instantly, after seeing a photo’ or seeing them for the first time.
These have been times where I’ve thought to myself “yeah, they look good” and over time it’s become “fuck yeah, I fancy the pants off ya” |
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I have to get to know them at least a bit, before I can gauge if I'm attracted to them.
If I get a pic, I can think they're good looking, but that doesn't always mean I'd fancy them, if that makes sense. |
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I can definitely fancy people from pics, but I need to meet them in person to get the full fireworks happening. If they're dull in person, my ardour slinks away and hides.
*Also, pics on here are so posed and stylised that none of us look that good in real life. Some have looked bloody shocking! |
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"I’ve experience both ends of the spectrum.
There are people I fancy instantly, after seeing a photo’ or seeing them for the first time.
These have been times where I’ve thought to myself “yeah, they look good” and over time it’s become “fuck yeah, I fancy the pants off ya”"
I definitely get this aspect. I’ve met people that I haven’t found physically attractive but after spending time with them their personality has made me find them attractive.
But I suppose it’s that raw physical feeling, you know that butterfly feeling, that’s what I haven’t felt for years.
I just see somebody attractive and think “yeh, you’re a bit fit” but there’s no physical drive there until something about that person changes that.
Bet yes, I agree, I need to be physically attracted to someone, but their personality and how they carry themselves can drastically alter that attraction either way. |
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"Thought this was a thread about me.....disgusted now  "
It took me a minute to work out what you meant then
We’ve discussed the intended topic at length, We can make it about you now.
Who on fab fancies Em? |
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"How often do you meet people where you are like “phwoar, I proper fancy you like” and I don’t mean you think they are very good looking. I mean, you get that little feeling inside?
Do you get this with someone based of looks alone, do you need to be drawn to their personality to have this feeling?
Can you just meet somebody and feel this way or do you really need to get to know them first?"
Are you talking about FAB swinging meets or vanilla meets which maybe develop into long term relationships.
I see FAB meets as swinging meets.
Single guys on a FAB swingers meet have to..
Show up.
Be physically ok, not expecting models.
Be able to perform sexually.
Socially and sexually confident, chatty.
Understand why soap and toothpaste was invented.
Couples....
Lady Bi or bi friendly.
Male doesn't have to perform as well as a single guy...Sorry single guys !!
Friendly, chatty, confident, no drama.
Lots of guys and couples fit this bill, some don't, that's why socials are so beneficial in many ways.
Good luck and happy Fabbing. |
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"Thought this was a thread about me.....disgusted now
It took me a minute to work out what you meant then
We’ve discussed the intended topic at length, We can make it about you now.
Who on fab fancies Em? "
No no no thank you I was joking  |
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