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By *ea monkey OP Man 35 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Quite often on threads I see guys making (not so) veiled allusions to their sexual prowess, so this thread is so folks can get their humble or not so brags out.
So folks, do tell about how you licked a woman for hours/have the stamina of a race horse/are hung and your next door neighbour can’t get enough…
I’m all ears |
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"My phallus is mighty enough that I like to hold it aloft and shout, ‘By the Power of Greyskull; I have the poweeerrrr!!!!’
And then you ride on your cat? "
Yes indeed, whilst battling the evil forces of Skelator (who is clearly jealous of my mighty wang)  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man 35 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"My phallus is mighty enough that I like to hold it aloft and shout, ‘By the Power of Greyskull; I have the poweeerrrr!!!!’
And then you ride on your cat?
Yes indeed, whilst battling the evil forces of Skelator (who is clearly jealous of my mighty wang) "
There is was thinking that He Man is gay |
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By *elloWoman 35 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"Quite often on threads I see guys making (not so) veiled allusions to their sexual prowess, so this thread is so folks can get their humble or not so brags out.
So folks, do tell about how you licked a woman for hours/have the stamina of a race horse/are hung and your next door neighbour can’t get enough…
I’m all ears"
My brag is that I was on top shagging my first boyfriend and I was such a skilled fucker that I managed to ride him whilst he rolled a cigarette and he didn't drop a single crumb.
Yep guys get in bed with me and I won't disturb you by making the bed move , not even your body will quiver  . That is a brag right men like it when you don't rock their world, right ? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man 35 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"What is that makes a brag humble? I feel like we need some parameters here."
an ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.
For example; ‘I was so worried when my partner pas*ed out from all of the orgasms I’d given them’ or ‘I’m so tired from staying up all night satisfying the beach volleyball team’
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By *ea monkey OP Man 35 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me
My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional 
Mrs TMN x"
Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote |
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"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me
My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional
Mrs TMN x
Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote "
MY ARSE
And you can quote me on that  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man 35 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me
My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional
Mrs TMN x
Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote
MY ARSE
And you can quote me on that "
There’s no need to derail the thread by inserting your arse into it. That’s what wiggle Wednesdays are for |
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"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me
My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional
Mrs TMN x
Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote
MY ARSE
And you can quote me on that
There’s no need to derail the thread by inserting your arse into it. That’s what wiggle Wednesdays are for"
It wouldn’t be the first time my arse has derailed things. Just ask Mr TMN. |
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"It wouldn’t be the first time my arse has derailed things. Just ask Mr TMN."
Something something I’d rail your arse, or something.
I dunno, I’m too lazy to come up with a proper callback right now but you get the gist. |
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"It wouldn’t be the first time my arse has derailed things. Just ask Mr TMN.
Something something I’d rail your arse, or something.
I dunno, I’m too lazy to come up with a proper callback right now but you get the gist."
Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man 35 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips.
That’s twice you’ve mentioned parsnips this week. They’re not even in season.
What can I say? I bloody love a parsnip."
You keep misspelling penis |
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"Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips.
That’s twice you’ve mentioned parsnips this week. They’re not even in season.
What can I say? I bloody love a parsnip.
You keep misspelling penis"
Fucking autoparsnip |
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Would you like to know how unsurpassed I am in the bedchamber, Mr Chai-Monkey? I shall divulge:
[1] Quim devouring, I am {redacted}
[2] Kissing, I am {redacted}
[3] Bonking (multiple positions), I am {redacted}
[4] Flirting/Woo'ing, I am {redacted}
[5] Nipple devouring, I am {redacted}
[6] The evolution of sex, I am {redacted}
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