Hello there fellow forumites.
Since i have been on Fab, it has inspired me and given me the confidence to approach women in the real world.
I watched Basic Instinct for the first time recently and it gave me an idea.
So I was chatting away with a woman and all was going well. We went to get a taxi and I told her my idea that i wanted to play out a scene from the film.
I even showed her the ice pick and silk scarf to show my sincerity.
She ran away screaming she was going to call the Police!!
I tried shouting at her, “ don’t worry you get to play the psycho role” but to no avail!!!
I think i need a new approach.
Any ideas forumites?
I know your a reliable bunch and won’t steer me wrong  |
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"Hello there fellow forumites.
Since i have been on Fab, it has inspired me and given me the confidence to approach women in the real world.
I watched Basic Instinct for the first time recently and it gave me an idea.
So I was chatting away with a woman and all was going well. We went to get a taxi and I told her my idea that i wanted to play out a scene from the film.
I even showed her the ice pick and silk scarf to show my sincerity.
She ran away screaming she was going to call the Police!!
I tried shouting at her, “ don’t worry you get to play the psycho role” but to no avail!!!
I think i need a new approach.
Any ideas forumites?
I know your a reliable bunch and won’t steer me wrong "
maybe you should have waited until you were in the taxi and on your way - that way she couldnt run away  |
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"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese."
Ostensibly, performing the ‘helicopter’ technique with one’s phallus is also a surefire method of mesmerising any lady…  |
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"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Ostensibly, performing the ‘helicopter’ technique with one’s phallus is also a surefire method of mesmerising any lady… "
Both of these work. 100% |
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"Hello there fellow forumites.
Since i have been on Fab, it has inspired me and given me the confidence to approach women in the real world.
I watched Basic Instinct for the first time recently and it gave me an idea.
So I was chatting away with a woman and all was going well. We went to get a taxi and I told her my idea that i wanted to play out a scene from the film.
I even showed her the ice pick and silk scarf to show my sincerity.
She ran away screaming she was going to call the Police!!
I tried shouting at her, “ don’t worry you get to play the psycho role” but to no avail!!!
I think i need a new approach.
Any ideas forumites?
I know your a reliable bunch and won’t steer me wrong
maybe you should have waited until you were in the taxi and on your way - that way she couldnt run away "
Shit!!
I knew I shot my bolt to early maybe next time.
Thank you  |
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"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Ostensibly, performing the ‘helicopter’ technique with one’s phallus is also a surefire method of mesmerising any lady…
Both of these work. 100% "
Well they have your seal of approval, how could I go wrong  |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Any particular sort of cheese or just cheese in general?"
Venezuelan beaver cheese |
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"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Any particular sort of cheese or just cheese in general?
Venezuelan beaver cheese"
Wtf!! So where can I get this exotic aphrodisiac? |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
|
"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Any particular sort of cheese or just cheese in general?
Venezuelan beaver cheese
Wtf!! So where can I get this exotic aphrodisiac?"
Venezuela probably. Or possibly Waitrose. |
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Women love a man who is ambitious, confident and knows what he wants.
That why when I meet someone I like, I follow them around with a hessian sack repeating the word “ANAL” until I’m inevitably arrested.
Hasn’t worked yet but practice makes perfect  |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Women love a man who is ambitious, confident and knows what he wants.
That why when I meet someone I like, I follow them around with a hessian sack repeating the word “ANAL” until I’m inevitably arrested.
Hasn’t worked yet but practice makes perfect "
The problem you are having is the material the sack is made out of. |
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"Women love a man who is ambitious, confident and knows what he wants.
That why when I meet someone I like, I follow them around with a hessian sack repeating the word “ANAL” until I’m inevitably arrested.
Hasn’t worked yet but practice makes perfect
The problem you are having is the material the sack is made out of."
I had considered that. I may abandon the sack all together in favour of a snare. I did wonder about bear traps too but that doesn’t really feel humane. I don’t want my bride to suffer. |
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"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Any particular sort of cheese or just cheese in general?
Venezuelan beaver cheese
Wtf!! So where can I get this exotic aphrodisiac?
Venezuela probably. Or possibly Waitrose."
I think I will go to Waitrose.
Venezuela is a tad too far, the cheese may go off in transit!! |
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"Women love a man who is ambitious, confident and knows what he wants.
That why when I meet someone I like, I follow them around with a hessian sack repeating the word “ANAL” until I’m inevitably arrested.
Hasn’t worked yet but practice makes perfect "
I am still working on losing my virginity, would it work with the word Foof??
I mean seeing some not the inside of a Police Station?? |
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"You should have done the Sharon Stone leg cross while you were explaining the scenario, OP."
Not sure if I would look good in a white dress and the revealing of a hush puppy isn’t a good look or so I read  |
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By *nnCeeWoman 25 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Ostensibly, performing the ‘helicopter’ technique with one’s phallus is also a surefire method of mesmerising any lady… "
Also see: shiny things, and, as Agent Coulson said, cake... |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
|
"Hello there fellow forumites.
Since i have been on Fab, it has inspired me and given me the confidence to approach women in the real world.
I watched Basic Instinct for the first time recently and it gave me an idea.
So I was chatting away with a woman and all was going well. We went to get a taxi and I told her my idea that i wanted to play out a scene from the film.
I even showed her the ice pick and silk scarf to show my sincerity.
She ran away screaming she was going to call the Police!!
I tried shouting at her, “ don’t worry you get to play the psycho role” but to no avail!!!
I think i need a new approach.
Any ideas forumites?
I know your a reliable bunch and won’t steer me wrong "
I'd quite like this tbh. |
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"According to The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Ostensibly, performing the ‘helicopter’ technique with one’s phallus is also a surefire method of mesmerising any lady…
Also see: shiny things, and, as Agent Coulson said, cake..."
Shiny things you say?
Well I am good at polishing my helmet |
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"I tried this once… apparently women don’t like the human centipede fantasy "
So I should avoid any suggestion from that film, thanks.
Any other source material I should look into?
Maybe Showgirls? |
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"I tried this once… apparently women don’t like the human centipede fantasy
So I should avoid any suggestion from that film, thanks.
Any other source material I should look into?
Maybe Showgirls?"
I’m quite good at the American Pie one. She gets her tits out and I come within seconds. Try that. |
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"
I'd quite like this tbh.
That’s not what you said when you were running off screaming!!
It's called role play...  "
Ahhh it was improv, busy scribbling notes for next time.
Try not to run so fast next time or i will throw a bolas at your legs  |
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"I tried this once… apparently women don’t like the human centipede fantasy
So I should avoid any suggestion from that film, thanks.
Any other source material I should look into?
Maybe Showgirls?
I’m quite good at the American Pie one. She gets her tits out and I come within seconds. Try that."
Oh that’s a guarantee the sight of a pair of tits for the first time will have premature ending  |
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"I tried this once… apparently women don’t like the human centipede fantasy
So I should avoid any suggestion from that film, thanks.
Any other source material I should look into?
Maybe Showgirls?
I’m quite good at the American Pie one. She gets her tits out and I come within seconds. Try that.
Oh that’s a guarantee the sight of a pair of tits for the first time will have premature ending "
If you get to the tits you’re already doing better than most on here. That’s a win in my book. |
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"I tried this once… apparently women don’t like the human centipede fantasy
So I should avoid any suggestion from that film, thanks.
Any other source material I should look into?
Maybe Showgirls?
I’m quite good at the American Pie one. She gets her tits out and I come within seconds. Try that.
Oh that’s a guarantee the sight of a pair of tits for the first time will have premature ending
If you get to the tits you’re already doing better than most on here. That’s a win in my book."
Really I was getting the impression I was among sexual Gods on here, you just have to read the posts to know that |
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