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Boring Bastards: The Quest For Glory
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I’m a world class boring bastard and I must prove myself to all other boring bastards that I’m the best around 
I’m therefore calling out all other boring bastards to battle me.
Simply say ‘I’m a boring bastard!’ to accept my challenge before posting here (on this thread) the most boring idea for a thread that you can muster.
I’ll lay the gauntlet down with the following and to give you an idea what to do:
‘Fence Panels - Vertical vs Horizontal; Which do you prefer?’
Over to you now my fine folks and may the most boring bastard win 
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As a country-dweller I have to go with vertical. Most of my fences are just vertical posts with wire link stretched across. Stock fencing, we call it. Horizontal fence panels are for fancy city folk. |
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By *eliWoman 26 weeks ago
. |
"As a country-dweller I have to go with vertical. Most of my fences are just vertical posts with wire link stretched across. Stock fencing, we call it. Horizontal fence panels are for fancy city folk."
See, that's kind of cool, learning about how the farmers approach things. View city folk and their fencing.
Be more boring OP. |
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"Jaffa cake. Cake or biscuit? "
It’s a cake. Because cakes go hard when you leave them out, whereas biscuits go soft.
Did you know the original court case about that was all because cakes and biscuits are taxed differently? |
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"As a country-dweller I have to go with vertical. Most of my fences are just vertical posts with wire link stretched across. Stock fencing, we call it. Horizontal fence panels are for fancy city folk."
but which stock are you fencing in? you need netting for sheep dont you ? and horse's eat it |
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"I’m a boring bastard.
Jaffa cake. Cake or biscuit? "
Boring (but true) fact: I used to know a girl who’s grandfather invented the edible ‘glue’ that keeps the Jaffa centre stuck to the biscuit….or cake…..depending upon one’s viewpoint |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Jaffa cake. Cake or biscuit?
It’s a cake. Because cakes go hard when you leave them out, whereas biscuits go soft.
Did you know the original court case about that was all because cakes and biscuits are taxed differently?"
I would say on the basis of the people joining in the Jaffa Cake discussion that it cannot be considered boring. But fence panels is not either. |
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"As a country-dweller I have to go with vertical. Most of my fences are just vertical posts with wire link stretched across. Stock fencing, we call it. Horizontal fence panels are for fancy city folk.
See, that's kind of cool, learning about how the farmers approach things. View city folk and their fencing.
Be more boring OP."
Hmmm….What is your favourite wash cycle? |
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"but which stock are you fencing in? you need netting for sheep dont you ? and horse's eat it "
Livestock fencing is pretty much standard, but you can go with a slightly taller version for cows. We usually run barbed wire along the top too. But that’s mostly to deter humans.
Stock fencing has bigger gaps at the top and smaller gaps at the bottom, to stop smaller critters. Human ingenuity knows no bounds. |
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"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
"
Ahhhh yes! European style! Whenever I try to write them they look a bit like a wonky ‘4’ though…  |
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"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
"
It all depends if their handwritten 1’s are clear enough |
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"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
"
I do this. I don't remember when I started but I much prefer a 7 with a line.
J |
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"but which stock are you fencing in? you need netting for sheep dont you ? and horse's eat it
Livestock fencing is pretty much standard, but you can go with a slightly taller version for cows. We usually run barbed wire along the top too. But that’s mostly to deter humans.
Stock fencing has bigger gaps at the top and smaller gaps at the bottom, to stop smaller critters. Human ingenuity knows no bounds."
I love branch fencing  The intricacy and skill arouses me. |
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"What is your favourite spoon, and why?
Mrs TMN x
Mustard spoons.
I’ve always been fascinated by them.
….but I am a boring bastard after all
What is a mustard spoon?!"
you used to get mustard just as powder and obviously if you took too much, you’d taste mustard and nothing else. It’s just a wee tiny spoon really |
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"What is your favourite spoon, and why?
Mrs TMN x
Mustard spoons.
I’ve always been fascinated by them.
….but I am a boring bastard after all
What is a mustard spoon?!"
They’re usually ceramic (well, the ones I’ve seen at least) and with a tiny little scooped head (resembling a miniature ladle) They come with an integral mustard pot to; they’re really rather sweet |
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"I like to order my cutlery in the drawer. As I have 2 sets, I like to order them by set and size.
Is that being boring or just obsessive?"
I think it is a highly fascinating pursuit and indicative of a well organised mind |
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"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
"
Line through is clearly superior as it's to easily distinguish between a 1 and 7 especially a European 1 which often has a more embellished upstroke than single vertical line we were taught.
I would also argue for the addition of a horizontal line through the letter z to differentiate it from a lazy number 2, this is the one part of my degree course I still use to this day.
B |
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"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
Line through is clearly superior as it's to easily distinguish between a 1 and 7 especially a European 1 which often has a more embellished upstroke than single vertical line we were taught.
I would also argue for the addition of a horizontal line through the letter z to differentiate it from a lazy number 2, this is the one part of my degree course I still use to this day.
B"
Easy now! A line through a Z? That's getting into "interesting" territory and you'll miss out on the chance of winning this thread! |
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"What is your favourite spoon, and why?
Mrs TMN x
Mustard spoons.
I’ve always been fascinated by them.
….but I am a boring bastard after all
What is a mustard spoon?!
They’re usually ceramic (well, the ones I’ve seen at least) and with a tiny little scooped head (resembling a miniature ladle) They come with an integral mustard pot to; they’re really rather sweet "
God, I really really want one now. |
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"I'm a boring bastard.
Pegging: do you prefer to have matching colour pegs on each item of clothing or do you throw caution to the wind (literally) and just use the first one that comes to hand?
B"
Ohhh, matching colours. I also use certain pegs before others. I have some odd ones which I always pair up in specific ways.
Huh. |
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"I'm a boring bastard.
Pegging: do you prefer to have matching colour pegs on each item of clothing or do you throw caution to the wind (literally) and just use the first one that comes to hand?
B"
This is a delightfully boring question
I myself grab whatever comes to hand but extra boring brownie points to any here who insist on matching colours |
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"I'm a boring bastard.
Pegging: do you prefer to have matching colour pegs on each item of clothing or do you throw caution to the wind (literally) and just use the first one that comes to hand?
B
Ohhh, matching colours. I also use certain pegs before others. I have some odd ones which I always pair up in specific ways.
Huh."
 |
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"Favourite typeface. 
J
Century Gothic *fappety-fap* 
Lucida Console ftw
What about a bit of Gill Sans?
Amazing typeface, cunt of a person. And I don't use that word lightly.
J"
A somewhat questionable person |
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"I find all the above mentioned things fascinating.
I'm that boring.
Anyone care to help me pair up my son's socks?"
Do you roll up the ends to keep them together? I find this both highly rewarding and logical |
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"I find all the above mentioned things fascinating.
I'm that boring.
Anyone care to help me pair up my son's socks?
Do you roll up the ends to keep them together? I find this both highly rewarding and logical "
They are laid flat together, folded twice then one end stuffed inside the other, to make a nice sandwich shape.
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"Amazing typeface, cunt of a person. And I don't use that word lightly. J"
It’s no surprise that a profession which required extreme monomaniacal obsession was populated by so many absolute bastards. But Gill really did take the biscuit (not the cake). |
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"I find all the above mentioned things fascinating.
I'm that boring.
Anyone care to help me pair up my son's socks?
Do you roll up the ends to keep them together? I find this both highly rewarding and logical "
I use the Marie Kondo sock folding method. Highly satisfying for those of us who need order in order to find inner calm. |
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"What's your favourite holiday photo scene?
In front of a building or a pic of you eating your calamari?"
I really love looking at other folks holiday snaps, especially those that depict a solitary costa coffee cup on a Mediterranean cafe table… |
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By *lynJMan 26 weeks ago
Morden |
"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
Line through is clearly superior as it's to easily distinguish between a 1 and 7 especially a European 1 which often has a more embellished upstroke than single vertical line we were taught.
I would also argue for the addition of a horizontal line through the letter z to differentiate it from a lazy number 2, this is the one part of my degree course I still use to this day.
B"
Was it a computing degree by any chance? |
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"I find all the above mentioned things fascinating.
I'm that boring.
Anyone care to help me pair up my son's socks?
Do you roll up the ends to keep them together? I find this both highly rewarding and logical
I use the Marie Kondo sock folding method. Highly satisfying for those of us who need order in order to find inner calm."
Oh my! I’d never previously heard of her but having now had a ganders at her guides to a happy lifestyle via folding garments, I am now absolutely hooked! Thank you xx  |
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"I'm a boring bastard.
Pegging: do you prefer to have matching colour pegs on each item of clothing or do you throw caution to the wind (literally) and just use the first one that comes to hand?
B
Ohhh, matching colours. I also use certain pegs before others. I have some odd ones which I always pair up in specific ways.
Huh."
You can hang my washing out anytime 
B |
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"Painting and decorating: when using a roller, how do you get a good finish in all the corners?"
I always make strategic utilisation of an edging brush (my preference is no more than a three inch diameter)
I like to wander back and forth around the room like a snooker player calculating their next shot prior in order to elevate the suspense… |
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"Painting and decorating: when using a roller, how do you get a good finish in all the corners?
I always make strategic utilisation of an edging brush (my preference is no more than a three inch diameter)
I like to wander back and forth around the room like a snooker player calculating their next shot prior in order to elevate the suspense…"
He said edging *sniggers* |
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"Painting and decorating: when using a roller, how do you get a good finish in all the corners?
I always make strategic utilisation of an edging brush (my preference is no more than a three inch diameter)
I like to wander back and forth around the room like a snooker player calculating their next shot prior in order to elevate the suspense…
He said edging *sniggers*"
 |
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"What's your favourite holiday photo scene?
In front of a building or a pic of you eating your calamari?
I really love looking at other folks holiday snaps, especially those that depict a solitary costa coffee cup on a Mediterranean cafe table…"
A pic of the sea... |
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"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
Line through is clearly superior as it's to easily distinguish between a 1 and 7 especially a European 1 which often has a more embellished upstroke than single vertical line we were taught.
I would also argue for the addition of a horizontal line through the letter z to differentiate it from a lazy number 2, this is the one part of my degree course I still use to this day.
B
Was it a computing degree by any chance? "
Engineering, but I expect most technical/mathematical subjects were similar.
B |
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By *lynJMan 26 weeks ago
Morden |
"I am Colin Robinson in female form, and I'd like to discuss the merits of writing the number 7 with a horizontal line through the middle.
Line through is clearly superior as it's to easily distinguish between a 1 and 7 especially a European 1 which often has a more embellished upstroke than single vertical line we were taught.
I would also argue for the addition of a horizontal line through the letter z to differentiate it from a lazy number 2, this is the one part of my degree course I still use to this day.
B
Was it a computing degree by any chance?
Engineering, but I expect most technical/mathematical subjects were similar.
B"
Do you put a diagonal line through a 0 (zero) to distinguish it from a letter O? |
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I’m such a boring bastard I can’t even participate in this thread just Incase it becomes mildly interesting and I don’t like to be distracted from my boring miserable self.
I’m happy when I’m miserable and I don’t want cheering up.
I’m so boring I can’t even be bothered to explain further |
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"I’m such a boring bastard I can’t even participate in this thread just Incase it becomes mildly interesting and I don’t like to be distracted from my boring miserable self.
I’m happy when I’m miserable and I don’t want cheering up.
I’m so boring I can’t even be bothered to explain further "
I salute you good sir |
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"I’m such a boring bastard I can’t even participate in this thread just Incase it becomes mildly interesting and I don’t like to be distracted from my boring miserable self.
I’m happy when I’m miserable and I don’t want cheering up.
I’m so boring I can’t even be bothered to explain further
I salute you good sir "
I suppose it’s only fair to give you an answer to your original question OP. Fence panels? I couldn’t give a fuck what way they go as long as they were tall enough that I didn’t have to see any of the neighbours and likewise so they couldn’t look in on my and incessantly attempt to make conversation with me. Simple answer really. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I’m a world class boring bastard and I must prove myself to all other boring bastards that I’m the best around
I’m therefore calling out all other boring bastards to battle me.
Simply say ‘I’m a boring bastard!’ to accept my challenge before posting here (on this thread) the most boring idea for a thread that you can muster.
I’ll lay the gauntlet down with the following and to give you an idea what to do:
‘Fence Panels - Vertical vs Horizontal; Which do you prefer?’
Over to you now my fine folks and may the most boring bastard win
"
bloody summer
What summer
And telly is shit
Can anybody drive ffs
Bastard cyclists
Fuckin sick of election talk
Food prices are ridiculous
£123 for a slice of bread |
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"Fonts are amazing
Don’t you start.
A good sans serif and it’s all clear "
I thought this was meant to be boring. San serif font? Sounds to me you are a wild child. Gone off the rails. Go times new Roman it’s makes lively words appear boring plus it has the added appeal that before someone even reads your email content they already think “my god this blokes a boring prick” win win. Bloody kids and their sans bollocks |
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"I'm a boring bastard.
Pegging: do you prefer to have matching colour pegs on each item of clothing or do you throw caution to the wind (literally) and just use the first one that comes to hand?
B
Ohhh, matching colours. I also use certain pegs before others. I have some odd ones which I always pair up in specific ways.
Huh.
You can hang my washing out anytime
B"
Niche. I like it |
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Maths Test: Johnny has five apples.
He gives two apples to Edith.
He then informs her that there are approximately 7,500 varieties of apple in the world.
What variety should he now give to Ethel in order to procure a guaranteed threesome? |
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"Fonts are amazing
Don’t you start.
A good sans serif and it’s all clear
I thought this was meant to be boring. San serif font? Sounds to me you are a wild child. Gone off the rails. Go times new Roman it’s makes lively words appear boring plus it has the added appeal that before someone even reads your email content they already think “my god this blokes a boring prick” win win. Bloody kids and their sans bollocks "
Oh I do apologise. I’m a bit meh at not being boring enough but cie la vie. |
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I’m a boring bastard.
One of the main reasons for this is I like trivial facts. Some I even find mildly interesting.
I would say I’m already in the top tier of boringness as I’m one of them that will impart my boring facts on you even when you could literally be in my face saying “you have told me this before you have told me this before shut up you boring fucker” I would still carry on I get it from my dad he is a proper boring bastard too. |
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By *aizyWoman 26 weeks ago
west midlands |
"Maths Test: Johnny has five apples.
He gives two apples to Edith.
He then informs her that there are approximately 7,500 varieties of apple in the world.
What variety should he now give to Ethel in order to procure a guaranteed threesome? "
Cox, of course, I'm rubbish at maths and I even I know that! |
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"Fonts are amazing
Don’t you start.
A good sans serif and it’s all clear
I thought this was meant to be boring. San serif font? Sounds to me you are a wild child. Gone off the rails. Go times new Roman it’s makes lively words appear boring plus it has the added appeal that before someone even reads your email content they already think “my god this blokes a boring prick” win win. Bloody kids and their sans bollocks
Oh I do apologise. I’m a bit meh at not being boring enough but cie la vie."
Don’t feel to bad you are boring just not as boring as others. It’s still an achievement . |
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""I'm a boring bastard" Oh Great Sensual Lord Of The Sky.
My boring thread would be:
"Do you agree that a glass of milk to drink helps you meet women?""
Absolutely Women love milk breath - it’s an indisputable scientific fact…. |
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"Maths Test: Johnny has five apples.
He gives two apples to Edith.
He then informs her that there are approximately 7,500 varieties of apple in the world.
What variety should he now give to Ethel in order to procure a guaranteed threesome?
Cox, of course, I'm rubbish at maths and I even I know that!"
A gold star and lolly pop for you |
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"Fonts are amazing
Don’t you start.
A good sans serif and it’s all clear
I thought this was meant to be boring. San serif font? Sounds to me you are a wild child. Gone off the rails. Go times new Roman it’s makes lively words appear boring plus it has the added appeal that before someone even reads your email content they already think “my god this blokes a boring prick” win win. Bloody kids and their sans bollocks
Oh I do apologise. I’m a bit meh at not being boring enough but cie la vie.
Don’t feel to bad you are boring just not as boring as others. It’s still an achievement . "
Indeed, I’ll need to work on suppressing that interestingness though. |
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I’m a boring bastard that doesn’t read properly due to being boring.
I just read OP’s original post again fully and he is asking for ideas for the most boring thread not really asking for me to tell him how boring I am. Ok ok.
Bolt threads. Pros and cons of metric/decimal/whitworth? Thread depth and pitch discussion. |
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""I'm a boring bastard" Oh Great Sensual Lord Of The Sky.
My boring thread would be:
"Do you agree that a glass of milk to drink helps you meet women?"
Absolutely Women love milk breath - it’s an indisputable scientific fact…. "
Thank you OP.
I shall drink milk and meet the sex people.
FAB - done. |
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I'm a boring bastard
Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please? |
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"Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please?"
Branches take a really, really long time to break down. You need a good mix of ‘greens’ and ‘browns’ - your grass cuttings and leaves are greens, but your branches don’t really count as browns. They won’t break down fast enough. So you could add torn up cardboard. Eggshells are good too. And coffee grounds. Then make sure you’re turning the compost over regularly, not just leaving it and crossing your fingers.
Also, water butts get a big thumbs up. And not just because they’re called butts.
#butts |
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"I'm a boring bastard.
Pegging: do you prefer to have matching colour pegs on each item of clothing or do you throw caution to the wind (literally) and just use the first one that comes to hand?
B
Ohhh, matching colours. I also use certain pegs before others. I have some odd ones which I always pair up in specific ways.
Huh.
You can hang my washing out anytime
B
Niche. I like it "
I was expecting the answer to be "Bullshit, you can hang mine" but maybe that is too non-boring.
J |
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"I'm a boring bastard
Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please?"
For really good, nutritious compost with a good texture (not too slimey, not too dry and fibrous) you need to add vegetable peelings, fruit waste, plant prunings and grass cuttings. These break down quickly and provide nitrogen as and moisture. You also need to include "browns", such as torn up cardboard egg boxes, scrunched up paper and fallen leaves. These are slower to rot and provide fibre and carbon, and also allow air pockets to form in the mixture which you need for aerobic decomposition. Not enough air and you get anaerobic decomposition and smelly, slimy compost. Crushed eggshells are a good source of minerals such as calcium and magnesium.
Water butts, yay. |
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"I'm a boring bastard
Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please?
For really good, nutritious compost with a good texture (not too slimey, not too dry and fibrous) you need to add vegetable peelings, fruit waste, plant prunings and grass cuttings. These break down quickly and provide nitrogen as and moisture. You also need to include "browns", such as torn up cardboard egg boxes, scrunched up paper and fallen leaves. These are slower to rot and provide fibre and carbon, and also allow air pockets to form in the mixture which you need for aerobic decomposition. Not enough air and you get anaerobic decomposition and smelly, slimy compost. Crushed eggshells are a good source of minerals such as calcium and magnesium.
Water butts, yay."
& Rose tinted glasses both great advice much appreciated.
My compost bins are regularly turned, I do add egg boxes, fallen leaves and T-bags and they smell amazing like proper compost but I am worried they don't get enough of the browns. Didn't want to attract flies with fruit but might start adding vegetables. Water butts smell bad in the winter? Am I really this much of a boring bastard I'm talking garden on fab ?? |
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By *lynJMan 26 weeks ago
Morden |
"Maths Test: Johnny has five apples.
He gives two apples to Edith.
He then informs her that there are approximately 7,500 varieties of apple in the world.
What variety should he now give to Ethel in order to procure a guaranteed threesome?
Cox, of course, I'm rubbish at maths and I even I know that!
A gold star and lolly pop for you "
Would that be a Cox's orange pippin? |
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By *lynJMan 26 weeks ago
Morden |
"I'm a boring bastard
Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please?
For really good, nutritious compost with a good texture (not too slimey, not too dry and fibrous) you need to add vegetable peelings, fruit waste, plant prunings and grass cuttings. These break down quickly and provide nitrogen as and moisture. You also need to include "browns", such as torn up cardboard egg boxes, scrunched up paper and fallen leaves. These are slower to rot and provide fibre and carbon, and also allow air pockets to form in the mixture which you need for aerobic decomposition. Not enough air and you get anaerobic decomposition and smelly, slimy compost. Crushed eggshells are a good source of minerals such as calcium and magnesium.
Water butts, yay.
& Rose tinted glasses both great advice much appreciated.
My compost bins are regularly turned, I do add egg boxes, fallen leaves and T-bags and they smell amazing like proper compost but I am worried they don't get enough of the browns. Didn't want to attract flies with fruit but might start adding vegetables. Water butts smell bad in the winter? Am I really this much of a boring bastard I'm talking garden on fab ?? "
Does peeing on the compost help? |
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"I'm a boring bastard
Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please?
For really good, nutritious compost with a good texture (not too slimey, not too dry and fibrous) you need to add vegetable peelings, fruit waste, plant prunings and grass cuttings. These break down quickly and provide nitrogen as and moisture. You also need to include "browns", such as torn up cardboard egg boxes, scrunched up paper and fallen leaves. These are slower to rot and provide fibre and carbon, and also allow air pockets to form in the mixture which you need for aerobic decomposition. Not enough air and you get anaerobic decomposition and smelly, slimy compost. Crushed eggshells are a good source of minerals such as calcium and magnesium.
Water butts, yay.
& Rose tinted glasses both great advice much appreciated.
My compost bins are regularly turned, I do add egg boxes, fallen leaves and T-bags and they smell amazing like proper compost but I am worried they don't get enough of the browns. Didn't want to attract flies with fruit but might start adding vegetables. Water butts smell bad in the winter? Am I really this much of a boring bastard I'm talking garden on fab ??
Does peeing on the compost help?"
That’s you out. Someone would get enjoyment out of that. |
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"I'm a boring bastard
Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please?
For really good, nutritious compost with a good texture (not too slimey, not too dry and fibrous) you need to add vegetable peelings, fruit waste, plant prunings and grass cuttings. These break down quickly and provide nitrogen as and moisture. You also need to include "browns", such as torn up cardboard egg boxes, scrunched up paper and fallen leaves. These are slower to rot and provide fibre and carbon, and also allow air pockets to form in the mixture which you need for aerobic decomposition. Not enough air and you get anaerobic decomposition and smelly, slimy compost. Crushed eggshells are a good source of minerals such as calcium and magnesium.
Water butts, yay.
& Rose tinted glasses both great advice much appreciated.
My compost bins are regularly turned, I do add egg boxes, fallen leaves and T-bags and they smell amazing like proper compost but I am worried they don't get enough of the browns. Didn't want to attract flies with fruit but might start adding vegetables. Water butts smell bad in the winter? Am I really this much of a boring bastard I'm talking garden on fab ??
Does peeing on the compost help?
That’s you out. Someone would get enjoyment out of that."
Banana skins work very well, most fruits should go in but stay away from anything that’s citrus as that repels the earthworms ( this is now too interesting), you can get secure food waste bins like a Hotbin or GreenCone that if used correctly make a massive difference to your garden with very little work, my apologies if all this has peaked your interest, also fences should be vertical to achieve better water runoff, slides out of the door reading an interesting book |
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"I'm a boring bastard.
Pegging: do you prefer to have matching colour pegs on each item of clothing or do you throw caution to the wind (literally) and just use the first one that comes to hand?
B"
They HAVE to be the same colour peg on each item, drive me nuts otherwise  |
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"Fonts are amazing
Don’t you start.
A good sans serif and it’s all clear
I thought this was meant to be boring. San serif font? Sounds to me you are a wild child. Gone off the rails. Go times new Roman it’s makes lively words appear boring plus it has the added appeal that before someone even reads your email content they already think “my god this blokes a boring prick” win win. Bloody kids and their sans bollocks "
Times new Roman girl here all the way. Must be a boring bastard after all |
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"I'm a boring bastard
Any advice on composting? I'm using cold compost bins but not adding any food waste to avoid pests. Big garden, lots of leaves and branches plus grass and the two bins drop down significantly enough every year that I never need to use the green bins thus saving the fee for them to be emptied. I have used some of the 'organic matter' to fill large planters but after 3 years I've still never had any proper compost?! Also water butts, good idea or not, pros/cons please?
For really good, nutritious compost with a good texture (not too slimey, not too dry and fibrous) you need to add vegetable peelings, fruit waste, plant prunings and grass cuttings. These break down quickly and provide nitrogen as and moisture. You also need to include "browns", such as torn up cardboard egg boxes, scrunched up paper and fallen leaves. These are slower to rot and provide fibre and carbon, and also allow air pockets to form in the mixture which you need for aerobic decomposition. Not enough air and you get anaerobic decomposition and smelly, slimy compost. Crushed eggshells are a good source of minerals such as calcium and magnesium.
Water butts, yay.
& Rose tinted glasses both great advice much appreciated.
My compost bins are regularly turned, I do add egg boxes, fallen leaves and T-bags and they smell amazing like proper compost but I am worried they don't get enough of the browns. Didn't want to attract flies with fruit but might start adding vegetables. Water butts smell bad in the winter? Am I really this much of a boring bastard I'm talking garden on fab ?? "
The compost discussion wins my vote for most boring I literally scrolled past the whole discussion lol sorry my bad ha |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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As for compost its 1 part green 2 parts brown material, add soil for the microbes and get your men in your life to pee in it, cover in carpet, turn every 2 weeks. That condenses how to make compost. |
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"Metric vs Imperial: Compare and contrast
Have you noticed nobody measures their dick in centimetres?"
That’s a good point; nor millimetres….
I also think we need to see more meter readings - 0.8 meters; that sounds truly majestic |
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