FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Really getting sick and tired of thread's
Really getting sick and tired of thread's
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By *hallas OP Man 32 weeks ago
in a skip |
Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
So, you think its being done deliberately?
Can you point one out so we can see what you mean? |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
Oh shut up  |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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I am gonna give a serious reply here.
There isn’t a clique. I don’t believe there to be anyway. There are MULTIPLE groups on the forums of friends or people that like one another’s forum presence and they reply to one another and engage with one another.
It might seem like a clique or a conspiracy but it’s not. It’s pretty normal for online spaces |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
Oh shut up "
Stop being rude. And put that away before you poke somebody’s eye out ! |
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I literally said the other day to my husband I'm not sure why I post the other day BUT here is the thing, you basically have to shove what god gave you in people's faces and just get on with it, if you post once or twice a week you will go unnoticed but if you have fuck all else going on in your life and answer most threads that interest you, you will start to see a shift as "people get to know you".
Some people can instantly walk into a bar and be the life and soul, others it takes time and for a few, it never happens.
I've got my elbows out now and shoving my way through. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 32 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
I doubt they're designed to create division. Some do come across as being relevant to certain segments, but that's no different to any online forum I've known in the last 20 years.
They're easy to avoid and not engage with. There's also plenty of threads that are obviously open to all. Plus you can always start your own whenever you wish.
The only ones I've seen that steer towards any kind of division are the hand grenade threads where someone opens up with a controversial question or opinion and then contributes no further. Likewise, if they don't get closed then they're also easy to avoid and not get sucked into.  |
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"I am gonna give a serious reply here.
There isn’t a clique. I don’t believe there to be anyway. There are MULTIPLE groups on the forums of friends or people that like one another’s forum presence and they reply to one another and engage with one another.
It might seem like a clique or a conspiracy but it’s not. It’s pretty normal for online spaces"
This one.
Am I more likely to want to engage with someone I recognise and already know I enjoy talking to? Sure.
Am I going to actively ignore someone posting something interesting to me just because they haven't spoken to me before? No.
Am I going to want to get to know someone who's weirdly bitter that people have existing friendships already? Probably not  |
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By *oxy jWoman 32 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
i just say what i want to say at the end of the day the forums are for all ... i dont want no part of clique's just remember shit clings .... just get involved and dont worry about others you cant please all ..
i have people on here who dislike me but in a club they pester me n hubs two face alot of them hence i never use my fab name when clubbing as they have no clue
if people dont like opinions then thats for them to deal with also you cant make people talk to you neither |
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"I am gonna give a serious reply here.
There isn’t a clique. I don’t believe there to be anyway. There are MULTIPLE groups on the forums of friends or people that like one another’s forum presence and they reply to one another and engage with one another.
It might seem like a clique or a conspiracy but it’s not. It’s pretty normal for online spaces"
Have to agree with this too.
The word clique seems to come from people who feel left out, that isn't always someone else's fault - get involved, get chatting, some people are noticed more because they post more.
Mrs |
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By *rBobbMan 32 weeks ago
Birmingham |
Some people here have known each other for a long time. Over that time they have become friends and it is only natural that they will speak to each other on a regular basis.
When you join any form of community it takes time to get know people and for them to get to know you. I don't think it is a clique, it's normal everyday behaviour between people. |
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Hey OP, yes it can feel very cliquey in here. There's no point denying it as it's something that comes up constantly. And definitely don't want to diminish how anyone feels.
There are some really open to all threads. Like the music ones for example try posting in those and see how it goes. |
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Just let it go over your head op, you can't change anything so why stress about it .
You could always join the clique, try posting monotonous drivel 10 times a day and comment on every single thread, also comment taking the piss at every opportunity. Have loads of pretentious pics and a 10 page bio. |
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Come on mate, no such thing.
( whispers while no one is looking ) if you go to the weatherspoons in hull, the code to get in is under to 3rd urinal from your right, just unscrew the u-bend.
The mr |
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"Just let it go over your head op, you can't change anything so why stress about it .
You could always join the clique, try posting monotonous drivel 10 times a day and comment on every single thread, also comment taking the piss at every opportunity. Have loads of pretentious pics and a 10 page bio."
I feel so seen |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 32 weeks ago
About 3 feet away from the fence |
"You could always join the clique, try posting monotonous drivel 10 times a day and comment on every single thread, also comment taking the piss at every opportunity. Have loads of pretentious pics and a 10 page bio."
 |
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By *elloWoman 32 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
Who has been made to feel like an outsider? Looking at your green arrow it shows you contributed to one thread only once and your post was responded to by another forum user, so you haven't been treated as an outsider.
Life is always going to produce divisions because we're all different and have our own minds.
I don't think there is a closed clique in here, just people who know each other, if you try and immerse yourself into the forum in a light-hearted manner you'll find interaction with the regulars gets easier . |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
My thread just asks for charity fundraising ideas … hopefully a way for people to come together with ideas  |
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"Come on mate, no such thing.
( whispers while no one is looking ) if you go to the weatherspoons in hull, the code to get in is under to 3rd urinal from your right, just unscrew the u-bend.
The mr "
Hull has Wendy's now |
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By *elloWoman 32 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
".
You could always join the clique, try posting monotonous drivel 10 times a day and comment on every single thread, also comment taking the piss at every opportunity. Have loads of pretentious pics and a 10 page bio."
Shit, only 10 times a DAY. I misread 'the dummies guide to the forums' I've been doing 10 times and hour minimum  .
But I do feel I've completely nailed the 'take the piss at every opportunity' section  yay me |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"I am gonna give a serious reply here.
There isn’t a clique. I don’t believe there to be anyway. There are MULTIPLE groups on the forums of friends or people that like one another’s forum presence and they reply to one another and engage with one another.
It might seem like a clique or a conspiracy but it’s not. It’s pretty normal for online spaces"
This! I don’t understand how people don’t know the difference between friendships and a clique. |
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By *orny PTMan 32 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"I literally said the other day to my husband I'm not sure why I post the other day BUT here is the thing, you basically have to shove what god gave you in people's faces and just get on with it, if you post once or twice a week you will go unnoticed but if you have fuck all else going on in your life and answer most threads that interest you, you will start to see a shift as "people get to know you".
Some people can instantly walk into a bar and be the life and soul, others it takes time and for a few, it never happens.
I've got my elbows out now and shoving my way through."
If the face fits...sad but ever so true. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
Honestly used to think there was a clique on here
But Iv come to a conclusion
Firstly I don’t see it anymore
And secondly (probably a product of the first) I don’t give a fuck if there is 
The sooner you get over these thoughts the better
We are all here for the same reason fun !
Some do it in different ways but if you enjoy posting in forum,posting pics ,or chatting in Messages even if there is a clique fuck them
Remember also many people do meet and know others from clubs ect
FAB is a lot of fun enjoy it ! |
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Just get involved and start chatting, very often we tend to interact with those we have met in person and at group socials as we know more of there personality. This isn't always the case as we do chat with the odd one or two people more than others on here but it's not because we are excluding others just because we like interacting with those people 
But that all being said it doesn't matter who it is... if we see a comment that catches our attention then we will happily chat with them.
I think its more about getting involved and striking up conversations with people yourself if that's they way you perceive things... not much will happen most of the time if you are just sat waiting for people to interact with you first. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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I’ve not spoken to that many people on here in my 3
Months but some of the people on the forums actually do know who they’re talking to in real life. It’s like being the new person at work. Takes time to integrate. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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Thanks for the rant thread op.
Without threads there’s be no need for a public forum. so there’s that.
Anyway, my rant… why didn’t I fix the damn car myself instead of relying on a garage? There urgency emergency do not match up.  |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
So, you think its being done deliberately?
Can you point one out so we can see what you mean?"
No? |
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If it matters to you OP. I will personally consider whether I can do more to be inclusive.
I don't think it's a simple as friendship group or clique. Groups will naturally exhibit varying levels of cliquey behaviours, which can fluctuate. Sometimes a kick up the arse is appropriate. |
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The more you post the more you get known the more you’ll get included.
I think a lot feel like they are not in the inner circle on the forums but that’s not a bad thing either.
I post for me, I don’t post for attention and I find I have a better time than wondering if I’ve moved up or down on some league table.
So post away OP and have fun 
K |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"Welcome to the forums OP.
It can feel like that when you join. As this is only your second time posting I'd say stick with it a little longer. You'll never feel included if you don't participate."
This... . Think of it as being in a new pub where you don't know anyone
Just join in and before you know it you'll be one of the regulars! |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"Welcome to the forums OP.
It can feel like that when you join. As this is only your second time posting I'd say stick with it a little longer. You'll never feel included if you don't participate.
This... . Think of it as being in a new pub where you don't know anyone
Just join in and before you know it you'll be one of the regulars! "
And moaning about the price of beer. |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
just push in like I do x |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"What this thread needs is a graph. Everything is better with a graph. I’m actually getting a bit turned on thinking about Venn diagrams. "
you just love holes
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"Welcome to the forums OP.
It can feel like that when you join. As this is only your second time posting I'd say stick with it a little longer. You'll never feel included if you don't participate.
This... . Think of it as being in a new pub where you don't know anyone
Just join in and before you know it you'll be one of the regulars!
And moaning about the price of beer. "
Or saying "guess how much the chippy dinner was for me and my colleague" |
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"What this thread needs is a graph. Everything is better with a graph. I’m actually getting a bit turned on thinking about Venn diagrams. you just love holes"
Bar graphs mostly. Small sample big sample small sample.
It is the way. |
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OP, my dear fellow with the cavalier tongue, there are many friends amongst friends, many of them unsung. Don't be quick to berate but take time to integrate, lest you upset a few and seal your fate.
The clique is oblique and not set in stone, create some threads and usurp a few thrones. Get yourself noticed for all the right reasons and avoid such remarks and scandalous treasons.
Do it for yourself and do it for your sake, and join us all for some tea and cake. |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
I haven't noticed it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
I haven't noticed it. "
I haven’t seen you in AGES  |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
I haven't noticed it.
I haven’t seen you in AGES "
You might be thinking of the Mrs mate I know she used to chat with you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
I haven't noticed it.
I haven’t seen you in AGES
You might be thinking of the Mrs mate I know she used to chat with you. "
Likely! But still- _ello! |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
I haven't noticed it.
I haven’t seen you in AGES
You might be thinking of the Mrs mate I know she used to chat with you.
Likely! But still- _ello! "
Nice to meet you
You'll usually find me on the other side although I've only been posting for a few days. |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
You mean couples only threads where Op only asking couples to post? |
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You get out what you put in. You want to feel included? Join in, create your own thread, get your name out there.
People do have friendship groups in the forum, because they've taken the time to get involved and get to know each other (some for several years).
Be patient, take part and you'll soon see that there are some lovely people about |
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Op, I hear you and get how you feel and understand why you would feel that way.
Problem with threads like this is, that the cool kids will always come from a stance that it's about "friendships". However, what's potentoslly overlooked and probably forgotten by people is that, they were new once and forget how hard these forums can be to break into.
They can seem isolating and not very inclusive, unfortunately that is down to people having build up and nurtured those friendships overtime. So people naturally gravitate to that when responding..
There are threads that do naturally alienate people, couplez only threads and all that bollocks avoid those or be a pain n jump on them anyway.
Just keep plugging away, don't place to much importance on them, as the odds are you'll probably not ever meet a vast majority of forum users, unless you do socials and maybe in a club somewhere...
Mr
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I haven't been using the forum for long but it's like life in general you don't just walk into a bar and shout I'm here everyone, like me. You get to know people read the room and try to get your face known for the right reasons. |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
My advice to you would be that if you would like to be more included then you should interact more on the forums ... particularly on your own thread! |
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I create threads where everyone is welcome and very inclusive. I try to chat/respond to every and often have no idea who they are. I will not respond to inflamatory threads or comments and I do sometimes block those who seek to cause issues. I come on here to distress not to add stress to an already stressful life. Some will engage some will not. And yes there are of course some people that exlude others. I take no notice. I remain respectful and inclusive. Yes naturally you do form a bit of a bond with some people and have a bit more banter but try not to exclude anyone else. I am just me, I appreciate everyone is different and that is fine too. Who is for cake? |
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It took me quite some time of joining in on the forums to " get noticed " if you will... you have to make the effort ,show some personality and not come across as a rant mcranty pants... keep making the effort , you'll get there |
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"The more you post the more you get known the more you’ll get included.
I think a lot feel like they are not in the inner circle on the forums but that’s not a bad thing either.
I post for me, I don’t post for attention and I find I have a better time than wondering if I’ve moved up or down on some league table.
So post away OP and have fun
K"
This |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
Hmmm Not sure I've noticed that to be honest, nor am I part of any cliquey group. Like most Forums and in general parts of social life, you do get some that have more mutual interests with each other but rarely do they exclude anyone on purpose.
When I was married, we did exclude some, mostly females and couples that always had something negative to say about single men. But we never stopped talking to anyone if there was mutual interest no matter what their thoughts of single men were. Actually made some good swinging friends with some of them.
Like many have said above, you just need to become more known in the general forums and say what you think without ranting and being derogatory. Since being single, I have found it very difficult lol to find like minded females to talk to lol at least on these sites. Have posted a few of my own Forums and had a many negative results lol but mostly from those that haven't read the Forum topic thoroughly and have strong opinions of their own. Also I normally go onto the forums and have a laugh at some of the funny banter. But have occasionally BITTEN HARD LOL at some. But always have a lol and apologise for having a bad day lol.
Maybe just don't take it all personally and simply enjoy and partake in the Forums. |
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By *apybarasCouple 32 weeks ago
High Lighthouse! |
"I literally said the other day to my husband I'm not sure why I post the other day BUT here is the thing, you basically have to shove what god gave you in people's faces and just get on with it, if you post once or twice a week you will go unnoticed but if you have fuck all else going on in your life and answer most threads that interest you, you will start to see a shift as "people get to know you".
Some people can instantly walk into a bar and be the life and soul, others it takes time and for a few, it never happens.
I've got my elbows out now and shoving my way through.
"
Careful, you made me spill my pint! |
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"Op, I hear you and get how you feel and understand why you would feel that way.
Problem with threads like this is, that the cool kids will always come from a stance that it's about "friendships". However, what's potentoslly overlooked and probably forgotten by people is that, they were new once and forget how hard these forums can be to break into.
They can seem isolating and not very inclusive, unfortunately that is down to people having build up and nurtured those friendships overtime. So people naturally gravitate to that when responding..
There are threads that do naturally alienate people, couplez only threads and all that bollocks avoid those or be a pain n jump on them anyway.
Just keep plugging away, don't place to much importance on them, as the odds are you'll probably not ever meet a vast majority of forum users, unless you do socials and maybe in a club somewhere...
Mr
"
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
Interesting points you make and potentially I can be considered part of the clique but in reality so is everybody.
By your reckoning unless you make a positive contribution to every thread and inter act with everybody in the thread then by your own definition you are operating from within a clique.
Social media itself lives and dies by the principal of you are in or you are out.
Aren’t friends lists a clique? Many people who seem to have cliquey interactions are actually friends and surely we are more inclined to chat with friends than non friends.
Just my two penneth. |
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By *AYENCouple 32 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
You should congratulate yourself for having better things to do in life than be in a forum clique K. |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
You should congratulate yourself for having better things to do in life than be in a forum clique K."
Lol this is true |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
"
Is this for real? |
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"I am gonna give a serious reply here.
There isn’t a clique. I don’t believe there to be anyway. There are MULTIPLE groups on the forums of friends or people that like one another’s forum presence and they reply to one another and engage with one another.
It might seem like a clique or a conspiracy but it’s not. It’s pretty normal for online spaces
This one.
Am I more likely to want to engage with someone I recognise and already know I enjoy talking to? Sure.
Am I going to actively ignore someone posting something interesting to me just because they haven't spoken to me before? No.
Am I going to want to get to know someone who's weirdly bitter that people have existing friendships already? Probably not "
I agree with both of these comments
Miss S x |
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As someone who dips in and out of the forum, what I have noticed is:
When I am regularly posting and replying, within a short while you get more engagement.
When I have a break and then come back, less engagment until I am being regular again.
Its just the way it is. It isn't personal, just forum life.
MrsAbz |
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"Designed to create division amongst users by creating cliquey thread's, aimed at making people who are not part of the crowd feel like outsiders.
And now this is going to be full of people saying they haven't noticed it well if you haven't then you're probably part of it.
You should congratulate yourself for having better things to do in life than be in a forum clique K."
Hahaha outstanding answer ^ |
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OP I’m not in any clique. I’m actually quite marginal on a site where the centre of gravity it on heterosexual couples. It would be easy to feel on the outer orbit, watching the interactions nearer the centre.
Very recently there was a post which basically said trans and gay people should not be on this site. I can’t tell you how it felt to see well known and popular forums users who (from their profiles) identify as heterosexual be the first to step up and put the poster to rights. That’s inclusivity. Needing to be included in the in jokes and flirting of people who know each other better isn’t.
Chill bro.
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"Tom's threads are inclusive
and welcome for all to join.
The cliques are mainly created by the white nights who will try any tactics to get a shag
But not me again "
Of course you are more than welcome in Tom's threads. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"Tom's threads are inclusive
and welcome for all to join.
The cliques are mainly created by the white nights who will try any tactics to get a shag
But not me again
Of course you are more than welcome in Tom's threads. "
‘Not you again’ might imply you aren’t happy that someone has joined in though. |
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"OP I’m not in any clique. I’m actually quite marginal on a site where the centre of gravity it on heterosexual couples. It would be easy to feel on the outer orbit, watching the interactions nearer the centre.
Very recently there was a post which basically said trans and gay people should not be on this site. I can’t tell you how it felt to see well known and popular forums users who (from their profiles) identify as heterosexual be the first to step up and put the poster to rights. That’s inclusivity. Needing to be included in the in jokes and flirting of people who know each other better isn’t.
Chill bro.
"
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"Tom's threads are inclusive
and welcome for all to join.
The cliques are mainly created by the white nights who will try any tactics to get a shag
But not me again
Of course you are more than welcome in Tom's threads.
‘Not you again’ might imply you aren’t happy that someone has joined in though. "
You are very welcome too Pickles |
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I think some posters are more inclusive than others op, where as some will only reply to those they like or class as friends.
So it's easy to feel left out or ignored.
If I've posted on someone's thread and been ignored more than once & when they've replied to people above and below me, I tend to just not post on their threads anymore.
Don't be put off op, there's lots of friendly inclusive people on the forums though. |
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"I think some posters are more inclusive than others op, where as some will only reply to those they like or class as friends.
So it's easy to feel left out or ignored.
If I've posted on someone's thread and been ignored more than once & when they've replied to people above and below me, I tend to just not post on their threads anymore.
Don't be put off op, there's lots of friendly inclusive people on the forums though. "
Based on my experience on here I can definitely see why someone will think that for sure |
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"It comes across a bit cliquey when a thread becomes derailed by a certain number of users having a chat between themselves....never understood why they don't take it to PM!"
This happens all too often and is usually the same people time and time again. It's almost as if they deliberately do it to keep themselves relevant. |
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I find it really rewarding to just ignore threads created by the posters you refer too.
I console myself with all the fanny I get to shag 