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Friends Romans and cunts....
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Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
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By *TG3Man 39 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
"
can i be minister of the posteria please  |
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"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
can i be minister of the posteria please "
Do you have previous experience in this role? |
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By *TG3Man 39 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
can i be minister of the posteria please
Do you have previous experience in this role?"
of getting posterias in order yes |
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"I will be Minister of War.
My first action will be to declare War on BMW drivers
I assume with no prior indication?
Got to divert public attention elsewhere and they're a good scapegoat "
*Glow is despondent at another wasted BMW drivers don’t indicate joke being wasted |
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"I will be Minister of War.
My first action will be to declare War on BMW drivers
I assume with no prior indication?
Got to divert public attention elsewhere and they're a good scapegoat
*Glow is despondent at another wasted BMW drivers don’t indicate joke being wasted "
 sorry |
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"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
can i be minister of the posteria please
Do you have previous experience in this role?of getting posterias in order yes "
Your office shall be next door to the minister of the interior |
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"I will be Minister of War.
My first action will be to declare War on BMW drivers
You will be in charge of MOWing ."
Hang on Audi get that job? I’d be great at war. Probably. Though I hate green clothes. |
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"I have a degree in Head, and a damn good tea maker, can i just be the strange looking women that stands in the back with a tea cosy
Yes you can martha 
Sent from my iphon "
Animal welfare it is then... |
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"I will apply for the position of Chancellor of the Orgasm
Were you in Barbarella?
I see it as more of a hands on role ”reconnecting” with the population than an orgasmatron on every corner."
Arise Sir Duracell |
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By *agatoXXXMan 39 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
"
Have you overthrown El Presidente? |
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By *TG3Man 39 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
can i be minister of the posteria please
Do you have previous experience in this role?of getting posterias in order yes
Your office shall be next door to the minister of the interior"
thanks I'll examine the interior |
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"I’ll be the minister for justice.
No court needed, we’ll do a Britain got talent style execution, I’ll sit at the back with a rifle and you better prey you don’t get 3 red x’s
The mr "
Straight to the House of Lords with you The mr knight |
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"I would like to be chief whip and if that's gone can I be chief jelly ?
What about assistant blancmange? "
Chief ...... Chief Blancmange if it's going ........ I was going to says custard but eff me ..... PINK ... yes please...
Where do I sign .... I have all the necessaries to be a blancmange
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"Minister of Sassiness, with portfolio of being Sassy.
Either way I thought I'd bump this thread because it was already on Page 5½ of the Lounge.
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Get back to the Irish forum you interloper "
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I quite enjoy 'loping' there. |
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"Minister of Sassiness, with portfolio of being Sassy.
Either way I thought I'd bump this thread because it was already on Page 5½ of the Lounge.
·
Get back to the Irish forum you interloper
•
I quite enjoy 'loping' there."
Over there fiddling while the Lounge burns |
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By *ags73Man 39 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
"
Which country  |
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"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
Which country "
Wakanda |
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"I’ll be the minister for justice.
No court needed, we’ll do a Britain got talent style execution, I’ll sit at the back with a rifle and you better prey you don’t get 3 red x’s
The mr
Straight to the House of Lords with you The mr knight"
You honour me Sire, I shall serve with an iron fist, for the good of the realm.
Long live king bites.
The mr |
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By *ags73Man 39 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
Which country
Wakanda"
Excellent |
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"I'll take the Foreign office please I have a passport and once went to France on a school trip - I feel wholly qualified for this position
Qui moi?"
oui oui l'office de tourisme est à gauche. j'ai un petit chien appelé Deefa. j'ai 45 ans. |
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"Following a bloodless coup(I changed the locks when they were all off on their jollies) I have taken over the country.
Applications are required for all ministerial positions including many yet to be created so please form an orderly queue and present your CV.
Anyone who has had a humour bypass and attempts to turn this into a political arena will be shipped off to Rwanda in an inflatable dinghy.....
can i be minister of the posteria please "
Bringing up the rear ?? |
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"I can fluff
Trust you to lower the tone.
You can be in charge of the pillows.
That's what I meant....
I'll introduce you to the minister of war and you can arrange some pillow fights"
I'm up for that |
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"can i be an over secretary as the under position looks a bit squashed - in the ministry of wands and duracell batteries and all things that waggle"
You can be assistant to the foreign secretary. His name is Uncle Traveling Matt and you can accompany him to Waggle Wock.
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By *nnCeeWoman 39 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
Not sure about a cabinet position, but I can possibly arrange the post work al fresco distanced networking opportunities?
I'll ensure there are individually wrapped nibbles... |
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"She ^ can be the Minister of Ethical Clipboards.
That does sound important!!
•
It comes with its own ministerial car.  "
Can I choose the colour? And does it go boop boop, beep beep, meh or HOOOONK? |
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"can i be an over secretary as the under position looks a bit squashed - in the ministry of wands and duracell batteries and all things that waggle
You can be assistant to the foreign secretary. His name is Uncle Traveling Matt and you can accompany him to Waggle Wock.
"
Seriously dude I didn't get the job? I even went to a cheese factory and had a wine tasting.....it was that cultured! What's worse you gave it to a bloody muppet, literally  |
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"She ^ can be the Minister of Ethical Clipboards.
That does sound important!!
•
It comes with its own ministerial car.
Can I choose the colour? And does it go boop boop, beep beep, meh or HOOOONK? "
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Not sure, but it does come with its own driver. So you won't need to struggle with any 3-point turns. |
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"Can I claim expenses please? I really need a holiday. I heard Rwanda was nice this time of year, happy to go on a "business" trip or whatever we have to do to get it signed off. "
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You'll have a R'wanda-full experience, KC². |
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Id like to be the secretary who minutes all the meetings please. Ill take dic-tation and do any tasks needed to support these busy folks in the bed oops boardroom. Ill be sure to meet their every need to keep things flowing. |
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"She ^ can be the Minister of Ethical Clipboards.
That does sound important!!
•
It comes with its own ministerial car.
Can I choose the colour? And does it go boop boop, beep beep, meh or HOOOONK?
•
Not sure, but it does come with its own driver. So you won't need to struggle with any 3-point turns. "
Have you been watching me manoeuvre!! 
If ever you need a lift to the local Aldi just hmu 
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By *ean counterMan 39 weeks ago
Market Harborough/ Kettering |
I will be the minister for anti-middle lane drivers In my manifesto I will promote the use of specially adapted trucks armed with huge bull bars that will be legally allowed to ram said middle lane drivers out of the way |
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We’re perverted twisted and sick. Totally insane and make crap decisions. We like to fuck people without the decency to give them a kiss first. We’d like to turn England into a laughing stock for the world to see. Bollocks, we’ve already been beaten to that by the injun in charge?
Ministers of crazy decisions please. |
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My role? I’ll shout ‘Hear, hear!’ and ‘Booooo!’ At random intervals whilst in the chamber.
