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When you get sad
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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"What do you do? Do you try to keep busy and get on with it or do you wallow in self pity? Or maybe something different? Just wondering"
I clean clean clean lol but i l9ve just walking for miles in the country or a coastal walk clears the head |
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I take myself away. Not just physically but mentally as well.
I blame myself. I wish things where difficult. I think of other strategies I could of used instead. I blame myself some more.
I cry.
And then I file it all away into deep dark void within myself. And hope I never have to deal with it.
Then I put on the smile of a clown and carry on.
Deep enough?
*but all very very true, I'm afraid to say. |
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By *eliWoman 36 weeks ago
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I wouldn't say I wallow but I do allow myself the space to feel sad. I spent many years distracting myself or thinking that I had to not be sad. Now I'm comfortable sitting with it. It passes. |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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It all depends on what I am sad about.
If it's something that's happened completely out of my control like a family/friend passing I tent to just let it go and remember the good things and carry on.
If it was in my co trolley I give myself 20 minutes to reflect on what's happened maybe write it down, learn from it and then move on trying not to have it happen again for that reason.
But everyone is different I guess sometimes it could be down to your upbringing if that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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I allow myself to feel sad. When it feels the sadness is taking over my day, I start baking. For hours. It’s a bit mad but it’s something that makes me focus to crawl out of the sadness. |
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"What do you do? Do you try to keep busy and get on with it or do you wallow in self pity? Or maybe something different? Just wondering"
So this was me yesterday. Life being turned upside down yet always being the one who has to push forward. 'Why' questions as well, why did this happen, why didn't you say, why why why?
So yes, I let myself be sad, I let myself cry and took myself off somewhere to just be sad alone. I got to the point where the sadness was so overwhelming, I blocked everything out and couldn't remember why I was sad, just that I was and that I didn't want to pry as to reasons why again. After that I calmed down, watched the sea come in and out of the harbour and then felt calmer. I then I became distracted by others' problems and trying to help them. This is a recurring thing, so therapy will once again be my friend 
So in a bit shell, cutting out all the waffle, I take myself away physically if I can, cry a lot and feel incredibly sad. I then calm and ground myself and then distract. This is recurring so I will no doubt be resuming therapy. Good luck OP on finding your coping mechanism x |
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When I’m sad I have a good cry and did wallow in pity for days but I’ve learnt now that just makes me worse so I either walk or go sit by the seafront for hours watching the world go by. Or of course I come on here and read all the posts.
Now if I’m angry I clean. I really do need to get angry more often lol |
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I think there's a qualitative difference between wallowing in self-pity and allowing yourself to feel what you feel.
Just as there's a qualitative difference between distracting yourself and being emotionally repressive.
The reason I choose to let myself feel how I feel has several aspects.
1. It builds emotional acceptance and resilience.
2. It reduces anxiety and pressure around expressing emotions as there are no unacceptable emotions.
3. My emotions are a part of who I am: sitting with them gives me a deeper understanding of myself amd therefore my ability to accurately express how I feel to others. Kind of useful in relationships.
4. It allows for greater spontaneity and immediacy, allowing me to better take responsibility for my feelings and control over my behaviours.
I find distraction to be a sticking plaster usually with short term benefits at a long-term cost. Sometimes circumstances make it necessary but I don't find it to be a healthy general principle. |
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By *OYFBWoman 36 weeks ago
Jersey (sometimes Notts) |
"What do you do? Do you try to keep busy and get on with it or do you wallow in self pity? Or maybe something different? Just wondering"
I go for a drive and just sit in my car for hours on end. Today, I’ve sat in my car, alone, watching the sea.
Sometimes I struggle to get myself out of the house (mentally), so doing this at least is getting me out of the house |
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I don’t really feel sad, at least not on a regular basis. Obviously if someone dies then I will feel it but I then remember their life, the fun they had and the things they did that made people smile and I cheer up.
A psychologist will probably say I am denying something deep and existential - maybe - but life generally makes me happy. Smiling is how I deal with sadness. |
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"I think there's a qualitative difference between wallowing in self-pity and allowing yourself to feel what you feel.
Just as there's a qualitative difference between distracting yourself and being emotionally repressive.
The reason I choose to let myself feel how I feel has several aspects.
1. It builds emotional acceptance and resilience.
2. It reduces anxiety and pressure around expressing emotions as there are no unacceptable emotions.
3. My emotions are a part of who I am: sitting with them gives me a deeper understanding of myself amd therefore my ability to accurately express how I feel to others. Kind of useful in relationships.
4. It allows for greater spontaneity and immediacy, allowing me to better take responsibility for my feelings and control over my behaviours.
I find distraction to be a sticking plaster usually with short term benefits at a long-term cost. Sometimes circumstances make it necessary but I don't find it to be a healthy general principle."
 great comment
Mr |
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I find myself sleeping an awful lot, like 15/16 hours a day, and furiously refreshing my inbox on here in the hope of shagging someone I quite fancy rather being mildly disgusted at the contents of said inbox |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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Usually comfort thoughts and things. Like an old tv show or film from when I was a kid or visit a place I know well with lots of good happy memories to remind myself of all the amazing years that brought me to where I am now and all those that will hopefully follow  |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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I was both sad and bitter today. Something inside is so strong it did not allow me to get tearful. Day was lovely weather wise.I should have sobbed my eyes out but on I go pushing myself to get justice |
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I stuffed my face with food - yes I am a comfort eater and yes, I am seeking help for that. Then I cry my eye balls out and wipe my face on my smelly bolster then I move on.When I am sad, my face shows it all and everyone feels the negative energy. Luckily, this does not happen a lot. |
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I go a little bit forest gump and start running.
Once at the peak of my fitness I ran 50 miles had to figure out where the hell I was.
Probably not the healthiest to use exercise to self destruct but it's definitely not the worst |
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By *nt1845Man 36 weeks ago
Birmingham |
I’m very rarely down on life, always glass half full.
I’ve been really sad and upset for the last week though.
I got my cat fig when I left the army in may 2005.
She was 6 weeks old.
Unfortunately I had to make the horrible choice to let her slip away last week.
She’s been the one constant for me for the last 19 years and I did struggle for a few years when I left the army. Sounds silly but she was always there.
So my release is music, work and anything that makes my mind wander.
I used to be a top amateur runner so back in the day that was my release as well.
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"Cry.
I think we're so good at masking what we actually feel and never just feeling it, it's good to just be sad and cry sometimes. "
I agree.
Sometimes you need to be able to sit with the shit feelings and process them.
Then dance, or sleep and shake them off.
Always helps to remember. This too shall pass. |
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By *rAitchMan 36 weeks ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
I rarely feel sad, but the last time I was, I wrote a poem, which, a couple of years later a musician friend of mine turned it into a song.
However, he said that he had to record it in several takes, as the words resonated with an experience he had, and made him cry. |
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