FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > No sex please
No sex please
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front? |
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"and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front?"
I tend to ask people what opinion they have that most others would find unpopular or devisive. It's a great icebreaker and always lends its way to a meaningful conversation. |
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I like to waffle about anything either party is into.
If someone comes in heavy on the sex chat I just assume they're another walking unwanted penis and disregard entirely. If they're making pointless small talk about things that don't interest either of us, also straight in the bin.
I like to see passion. I like seeing how people's brains and words shift when they're really engaged in something. And I really couldn't care less what it is. I remember being absolutely absorbed in a former partner talking at me for almost 3 hours about his gym routine, because he was just so excited about it  |
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I tend to ask them what season they prefer. I have very specific requirements when it comes to fabbers and if they don’t match my favourite season, well it’s just going to be a waste of everyone’s time.
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front?
I tend to ask people what opinion they have that most others would find unpopular or devisive. It's a great icebreaker and always lends its way to a meaningful conversation. "
But what happens if you ask that and they say something ever so original like "Coldplay are rubbish"? What do you do with that? Delve in to their originality?  |
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"I tend to ask them what season they prefer. I have very specific requirements when it comes to fabbers and if they don’t match my favourite season, well it’s just going to be a waste of everyone’s time.
"
Out of curiosity, what is your favourite season? |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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Beyond the initial ridiculous levels of flirting, I don’t really talk about sex that much tbh. More life in general and nonsense and observations that are funny, banter a small talk. Small talk I think is something thats often underestimated. I always used to think it was a waste of everyone’s time (just get to the point ffs!), but it shows a lot about a person if they can keep a conversation going, actively listen to what the other person is saying, pay a genuine interest in them as a person and not just a sex stick, boner garage or bumhole. That’s a good idea way to build connection, and connection and giggles are important for a lot of people including me  |
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"I tend to ask them what season they prefer. I have very specific requirements when it comes to fabbers and if they don’t match my favourite season, well it’s just going to be a waste of everyone’s time.
Out of curiosity, what is your favourite season? "
does it change with the seasons or just one season  |
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"and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front?
I tend to ask people what opinion they have that most others would find unpopular or devisive. It's a great icebreaker and always lends its way to a meaningful conversation.
But what happens if you ask that and they say something ever so original like "Coldplay are rubbish"? What do you do with that? Delve in to their originality? "
Absolutely, the "Why?" question always gets the conversation flowing. It's interesting how passionate some people can be with their unpopular opinions. |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"I like to waffle about anything either party is into.
If someone comes in heavy on the sex chat I just assume they're another walking unwanted penis and disregard entirely. If they're making pointless small talk about things that don't interest either of us, also straight in the bin.
I like to see passion. I like seeing how people's brains and words shift when they're really engaged in something. And I really couldn't care less what it is. I remember being absolutely absorbed in a former partner talking at me for almost 3 hours about his gym routine, because he was just so excited about it "
Yes! You and I are very similar on some things. Passion is beautiful. I don't care if it's not something I enjoy, I'll happily listen to anyone talk about something that really does it for them (if I'm interested in them).
Small talk isn't bad, it's a gentle way of easing in to a chat and not every conversation has to be heavy and serious and awe inspiring (not that you've said they do!). |
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Morning all...
I waffle about incredibly un sexy stuff...work, the family, diy projects...the few friends we have on our friends list pretty much know everything about our day to day life...common ground important to us |
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We chat about all sorts of things with Fabbers we know, and rarely about sex. Politics, family and music are common subjects for us. If the only thing a Fabber is interested in talking about is sex then we're not likely to be interested in them. |
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"I tend to ask them what season they prefer. I have very specific requirements when it comes to fabbers and if they don’t match my favourite season, well it’s just going to be a waste of everyone’s time.
Out of curiosity, what is your favourite season? "
Yeah I see what you are doing there, nice try buster!! |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"I tend to ask them what season they prefer. I have very specific requirements when it comes to fabbers and if they don’t match my favourite season, well it’s just going to be a waste of everyone’s time.
"
Fair. Best to out the unsuitables early doors - no point a Spring chicken meeting an Autumnal owl, is there? |
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Always depends who I am talking to and if appropriate and people feel comfortable. Lots of interesting people on here for different reasons. Someone sends me nice messages with a pic of the lovely meals they cook from time to time. I appreciate that. A message to say, have not talked for a bit, just messaging to see how you are,is also great. I talk to someone all the time on here just about anything and make each other laugh and that's priceless. Yesterday I had some messages from some gorgeous people who thought I might be upset about something. That was so much appreciated. Some great people around. Good to talk.  |
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I find people interesting, and usually a conversation will develop organically and continue into interesting places, or ebb and fade. There are no rules, and I have no go-to topics or questions - everybody is different, so a one size fits all approach isn’t for me. Sex is just one subject among many. Most people are far more than just their desire, so talking about sex is infrequent at best Xx |
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"Small talk isn't bad, it's a gentle way of easing in to a chat and not every conversation has to be heavy and serious and awe inspiring (not that you've said they do!)."
Small talk I don't mind at all with the people I care about. Waffling about work and public transport and all the pointless little things is soft and comfortable sometimes.
But I don't care at all as to how someone I've never spoken to before's day us going unless it's a genuinely interesting tale. I don't particularly want to open up on how I'm feeling beyond 'fine' with a complete stranger. Small talk is for friends for me.
If I'm not already invested and engaged, it's not something I can enjoy |
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My idea of hell is small talk with strangers. Talking about the weather, traffic, etc. it’s a good way to make me want to claw my ears off.
I’d rather talk about wonderful things, what stirs a person’s soul, what makes them tick and why. Indifferent chat is numbing |
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Chat is usually about the night, whether we've been to (insert club name) before, what's happening around us etc.
Usually in person small talk.
I cba with small talk on fab, have found it generally fizzles out quickly |
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By *ark73XXXMan 30 weeks ago
North Staffs/South Cheshire |
"and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front?"
Constant sex talk is utterly boring - I’d prefer to talk about other things |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"Beyond the initial ridiculous levels of flirting, I don’t really talk about sex that much tbh. More life in general and nonsense and observations that are funny, banter a small talk. Small talk I think is something thats often underestimated. I always used to think it was a waste of everyone’s time (just get to the point ffs!), but it shows a lot about a person if they can keep a conversation going, actively listen to what the other person is saying, pay a genuine interest in them as a person and not just a sex stick, boner garage or bumhole. That’s a good idea way to build connection, and connection and giggles are important for a lot of people including me "
Boner garage You have such a delicate way with words, love it.
That's true, well at least I think so. Genuine interest in a person, the conversation is something that naturally flows, sometimes it can be as simple as small talk. When conversation feels difficult, even small talk, it's clearly not really working. |
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I don't do sex talk with people I've never met just as I don't talk about sex away from fab with anyone I'm not having sex with.
I much prefer casual, no pressure conversation that can be random and jump from one subject to another and back again.
As long as the conversation is two way and I'm not carrying the load it's not an issue. |
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Generally if it's someone from the forum. It'll be from something they've posted and didn't want to take over the whole thread with my questioning. So I'll chat with them about that subject.
If it's someone who doesn't use the forum. I tend to steer the conversation away from how big my tits are or I'm free now. Erm in all honesty it'll depends most people will give little snippets of info in small talk that you can ask them for more information on it. Think it's important to take notice what people are saying not get distracted with pictures of nice cocks etc. |
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"and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front?"
Well usually I only message people if I have seen something on their profile or something they have said on the Forums that I feel comfortable conversing about. So, for example, conversations about gothic literature, or books and films of other genres, or veganism. But I'm happy to discuss anything that is already an interest or to learn something new to potentially become interested in it.
Sex-heavy conversations are also great, but I wouldn't lead with it or end a conversation if the sex talk ends but there's other mutual topics to talk about. |
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When I'm chatting to someone from Fab any level of salacious discussion usually occurs weeks after I receive the first message — and even then it's instigated by the other person (there are always sExceptions of course when there's sufficient and unexpected sexual frisson between us).
Mostly I talk about art, culture, the idiosyncrasies of Fab and its diaspora, personal circumstances and boundaries, and probably the odd bitching here and there for the sake of variety and entertainment, although I steer clear of penning sonnets...until we've consummated at the very least.
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"Morning all...
I waffle about incredibly un sexy stuff...work, the family, diy projects...the few friends we have on our friends list pretty much know everything about our day to day life...common ground important to us "
Oh that's lovely! I don't think it needs to be sexy sex chat all the time does it? I like finding out about the person behind it, having a friendship of sorts. That's not saying there's a wrong or right way to go about it of course. |
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I blabber on about anything - sex talk mainly just makes me  & small talk irritates me so I'm probably not the easiest person to chat to
I don't mind a little sexy talk if we are planning on meeting likes, dislikes and such to be honest it's the main reason we've not yet met another couple most (bar 1) we'll be having nice general chit chat then the bloke comes and bam here's my cock can't wait for you to xxxx urgh..... I was talking spag bol piss off.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"Beyond the initial ridiculous levels of flirting, I don’t really talk about sex that much tbh. More life in general and nonsense and observations that are funny, banter a small talk. Small talk I think is something thats often underestimated. I always used to think it was a waste of everyone’s time (just get to the point ffs!), but it shows a lot about a person if they can keep a conversation going, actively listen to what the other person is saying, pay a genuine interest in them as a person and not just a sex stick, boner garage or bumhole. That’s a good idea way to build connection, and connection and giggles are important for a lot of people including me
Boner garage You have such a delicate way with words, love it.
That's true, well at least I think so. Genuine interest in a person, the conversation is something that naturally flows, sometimes it can be as simple as small talk. When conversation feels difficult, even small talk, it's clearly not really working."
Yeah sorry about that |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
. |
"Beyond the initial ridiculous levels of flirting, I don’t really talk about sex that much tbh. More life in general and nonsense and observations that are funny, banter a small talk. Small talk I think is something thats often underestimated. I always used to think it was a waste of everyone’s time (just get to the point ffs!), but it shows a lot about a person if they can keep a conversation going, actively listen to what the other person is saying, pay a genuine interest in them as a person and not just a sex stick, boner garage or bumhole. That’s a good idea way to build connection, and connection and giggles are important for a lot of people including me
Boner garage You have such a delicate way with words, love it.
That's true, well at least I think so. Genuine interest in a person, the conversation is something that naturally flows, sometimes it can be as simple as small talk. When conversation feels difficult, even small talk, it's clearly not really working.
Yeah sorry about that "
Shush, needy man. You're not too bad to talk to.  |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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" Most people are far more than just their desire..."
Love this, George. And it's true. Don't get me wrong, some days I'm unashamedly frisky with every poor person (from Fab) I talk to. But the majority of the time I don't want to reduce it down to sex and I also don't want to be seen as two willing holes and a throat. It's a hard life. |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"I very rarely talk about sex or the weather on here in my DM's. Maybe this is where I'm going wrong."
It might be.
It might be other things.
Maybe test the waters with a "Cor it's a sunny day out there, anyone up for a quickie?" on your status. If that doesn't work, it's you. |
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I look to talk about things if mutual interest or something they are particularly interested in what I find interesting but clearly have less knowledge about than them...
But things like music , gigs, books...food, traveling adventures etc are all game.
Generally I can tell when someone is my kind of people |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"When I'm chatting to someone from Fab any level of salacious discussion usually occurs weeks after I receive the first message — and even then it's instigated by the other person (there are always sExceptions of course when there's sufficient and unexpected sexual frisson between us).
Mostly I talk about art, culture, the idiosyncrasies of Fab and its diaspora, personal circumstances and boundaries, and probably the odd bitching here and there for the sake of variety and entertainment, although I steer clear of penning sonnets...until we've consummated at the very least.
"
Women consummate before receiving a sonnet? How decidedly... cheap.
Disappointed in you, thought you had better taste. Tut. |
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"Morning all...
I waffle about incredibly un sexy stuff...work, the family, diy projects...the few friends we have on our friends list pretty much know everything about our day to day life...common ground important to us
Oh that's lovely! I don't think it needs to be sexy sex chat all the time does it? I like finding out about the person behind it, having a friendship of sorts. That's not saying there's a wrong or right way to go about it of course."
Exactly, plus I m a right nosey cow  |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"I almost never talk about sex
Mostly it’s abput food  "
I don't see why that's a bad thing though! I love when people send me photos of things they've cooked or waffle on about cooking. The only time I've found it dull is when I wasn't receiving any questions or interest in me, just food photos.
Food can be better than sex anyway. |
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"I almost never talk about sex
Mostly it’s abput food
I don't see why that's a bad thing though! I love when people send me photos of things they've cooked or waffle on about cooking. The only time I've found it dull is when I wasn't receiving any questions or interest in me, just food photos.
Food can be better than sex anyway. "
Meli I shall now send you a pic of the pasta I made for lunch, complete with my dick in the photo.
What would we such a picture? It's obviously more than your average dick pic, with a certain homely charm, a little, traditional finesse, perhaps even a little joi de Vivre.
If you haven't realised I come from a long line people who could talk for England without saying much. |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"I almost never talk about sex
Mostly it’s abput food
I don't see why that's a bad thing though! I love when people send me photos of things they've cooked or waffle on about cooking. The only time I've found it dull is when I wasn't receiving any questions or interest in me, just food photos.
Food can be better than sex anyway.
Meli I shall now send you a pic of the pasta I made for lunch, complete with my dick in the photo.
What would we such a picture? It's obviously more than your average dick pic, with a certain homely charm, a little, traditional finesse, perhaps even a little joi de Vivre.
If you haven't realised I come from a long line people who could talk for England without saying much. "
But I don't want to see penis penne.  Do I have to politely acknowledge it or can we skip over it being sent?
Ha. I like waffley people, people should always waffle (not in a work capacity). |
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"When I'm chatting to someone from Fab any level of salacious discussion usually occurs weeks after I receive the first message — and even then it's instigated by the other person (there are always sExceptions of course when there's sufficient and unexpected sexual frisson between us).
Mostly I talk about art, culture, the idiosyncrasies of Fab and its diaspora, personal circumstances and boundaries, and probably the odd bitching here and there for the sake of variety and entertainment, although I steer clear of penning sonnets...until we've consummated at the very least.
·
Women consummate before receiving a sonnet? How decidedly... cheap.
Disappointed in you, thought you had better taste. Tut."
•
I know. I'm an idealist. We live in sad times. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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I very very rarely talk about sex due to being a terrible prude
I just see where the conversation goes organically, and it's different with everyone. Subjects I have touched upon with people on fab are: parenting, literature, ferrets up trousers legs, does there need to be an "h" at the end of the word "veranda/h"? which Erasure song is the best? Bob Mortimer cat names, does Data from Star Trek have sex appeal?
Nell |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"I very very rarely talk about sex due to being a terrible prude
I just see where the conversation goes organically, and it's different with everyone. Subjects I have touched upon with people on fab are: parenting, literature, ferrets up trousers legs, does there need to be an "h" at the end of the word "veranda/h"? which Erasure song is the best? Bob Mortimer cat names, does Data from Star Trek have sex appeal?
Nell"
I really wish you hadn't posted this. Not because I don't love reading your posts, obviously I do.
But now you're going to have to deal with a lot of discussion about sex because I'm a dick and you've said you're a prude.
P.S I kind of get the sex appeal of Data but Spock? Spock. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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Just random stuff.
If I have to think of stuff to talk about then I generally give up. But occasionally conversation just flows (and sometimes go towards the s*x, and the w**ther)
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I don't mind sex chat but that usually comes way after we have got to know each other. I don't really do sexting. But I adore talking about sex once I'm invested. I like to be able to talk about anything and everything, nothing off limits.
I find it so tough to keep a conversation going though. I've only ever met two people online that I've clicked with to the point of us chatting away non stop for hours. I don't know why it isn't easier. |
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Like a poster above most of my conversations have started due to a private reply on here. Which are never normally the sex topic posts.
Depending on who I am chatting with it is about home life, football, or music mainly.
What I like is the ability to have conversations here, that I would never have anywhere else |
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Yes it starts to feel like a carry on movie.
I prefer if it arrises spontaneously in the flow of conversation, even better if that swiftly moves into fucking or finding somewhere to fuck as soon as is humanly possible. |
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"I almost never talk about sex
Mostly it’s abput food
I don't see why that's a bad thing though! I love when people send me photos of things they've cooked or waffle on about cooking. The only time I've found it dull is when I wasn't receiving any questions or interest in me, just food photos.
Food can be better than sex anyway.
Meli I shall now send you a pic of the pasta I made for lunch, complete with my dick in the photo.
What would we such a picture? It's obviously more than your average dick pic, with a certain homely charm, a little, traditional finesse, perhaps even a little joi de Vivre.
If you haven't realised I come from a long line people who could talk for England without saying much.
But I don't want to see penis penne. Do I have to politely acknowledge it or can we skip over it being sent?
Ha. I like waffley people, people should always waffle (not in a work capacity)."
Are waffley people so because we consume waffles? Not the crappy American kind, the potato kind.
We're waffley versatile. |
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"I very very rarely talk about sex due to being a terrible prude
I just see where the conversation goes organically, and it's different with everyone. Subjects I have touched upon with people on fab are: parenting, literature, ferrets up trousers legs, does there need to be an "h" at the end of the word "veranda/h"? which Erasure song is the best? Bob Mortimer cat names, does Data from Star Trek have sex appeal?
Nell
I really wish you hadn't posted this. Not because I don't love reading your posts, obviously I do.
But now you're going to have to deal with a lot of discussion about sex because I'm a dick and you've said you're a prude.
P.S I kind of get the sex appeal of Data but Spock? Spock. "
You do realise spock is worm food...ie dead.
 |
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"I don't mind sex chat but that usually comes way after we have got to know each other. I don't really do sexting. But I adore talking about sex once I'm invested. I like to be able to talk about anything and everything, nothing off limits.
I find it so tough to keep a conversation going though. I've only ever met two people online that I've clicked with to the point of us chatting away non stop for hours. I don't know why it isn't easier."
You find it hard to keep the conversation going, in my family you can't shut us up. Everyone thinks they have plenty to say and not enough time to say it. The only time there is silence is when our mouths are full of food. You need to spend time with us and we'll show you how to rock. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front?"
Sex heavy ...most messages I recieve are but then that's part of fab. It is not kwick fix ...depends on the person too |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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I love it when people are prepared to put lots of effort into messages and go beyond the obvious. Sometimes the quirkier the better. But I also struggle to do the same sometimes because life is full on and my brain is fried. So maybe my expectations of others are unfairly high!
Sex talk bores me unless it’s flirty and part of a bigger conversation.
Mrs |
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"and no weather chat come to think of it.
So those two subjects are off the table - what do you talk about with Fabbers when you're getting to know them?
Or do you find your conversations tend to centre around those topics?
Do you ever get bored if it's rather sex heavy on the chat front?"
Straight off sex talk with a stranger is weird for me. So that wouldn't interest me. So I would most likely send a 'no thank you' message, or if the Mr sees it first it will most likely be a sterner reply than 'no thank you'.
As to what I talk about, I would generally ask more questions until I feel confident with a person. Then I tend to ramble an awful lot about anything and nothing. My voice messages have recently been called podcasts (they can easily be ten minutes messages -shrug-), I can't help it, if I'm comfortable with you, I waffle for England. I have patient friends though
Mrs
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