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Woodys Swap shop!
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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Offer a favour for a favour…. In kind  fab themed!
Join in and ask for something and hopefully someone might be able to help you out in a fab way! Either of the same ‘value’ or greater
I really need a neck and shoulder massage, I can’t do this myself. So in return I do something for someone ... You get the idea!
What do you need? … and can someone help you that reads your post?
Enjoy
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I can offer
Someone a lovely duvet day
First off all breakfast in bed
Next up would be a lovely day on the couch watching your favourite show
As I do all the housework for you
Then I will oder your favourite take away
And we can sit and have dinner fallowed by a lovely evening Infront off the tv as I massage your shoulders and back
Then run you a lovely bath if no bath available then pop the shower on for you
then afterwards I can ither join you in the bed room for a lovely evening off something magical and unforgettable or you can invite a friend over for some extra magical be it male female couple or tv/ts
Or I can just leave and go home without a magicl evening
All I ask in return is a smile on your face and a moment off your precious time |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I can offer
Someone a lovely duvet day
First off all breakfast in bed
Next up would be a lovely day on the couch watching your favourite show
As I do all the housework for you
Then I will oder your favourite take away
And we can sit and have dinner fallowed by a lovely evening Infront off the tv as I massage your shoulders and back
Then run you a lovely bath if no bath available then pop the shower on for you
then afterwards I can ither join you in the bed room for a lovely evening off something magical and unforgettable or you can invite a friend over for some extra magical be it male female couple or tv/ts
Or I can just leave and go home without a magicl evening
All I ask in return is a smile on your face and a moment off your precious time "
Cor heaven  |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Could someone shave my arse please?
I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle  "
Okay get me your shaver and bums the word..hairy arses |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! "
Lends you my back tickler |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
|
"I can offer
Someone a lovely duvet day
First off all breakfast in bed
Next up would be a lovely day on the couch watching your favourite show
As I do all the housework for you
Then I will oder your favourite take away
And we can sit and have dinner fallowed by a lovely evening Infront off the tv as I massage your shoulders and back
Then run you a lovely bath if no bath available then pop the shower on for you
then afterwards I can ither join you in the bed room for a lovely evening off something magical and unforgettable or you can invite a friend over for some extra magical be it male female couple or tv/ts
Or I can just leave and go home without a magicl evening
All I ask in return is a smile on your face and a moment off your precious time
Cor heaven "
Yes I dose sound like heaven |
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! "
Hands available for tickling at your ready  all I ask is don’t snore x |
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"Could someone shave my arse please?
I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle
I'd happily wax it for you ! "
This is going to hurt, right? Oh well…..needs must and for King and Country and all that…. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
|
"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Hands available for tickling at your ready all I ask is don’t snore x"
Deal! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Lends you my back tickler "
Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly |
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Hands available for tickling at your ready all I ask is don’t snore x
Deal! "
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
|
"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Lends you my back tickler
Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly"
Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling |
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Lends you my back tickler
Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly
Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling "
Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Could someone shave my arse please?
I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle
I'd happily wax it for you !
This is going to hurt, right? Oh well…..needs must and for King and Country and all that…. "
It's just like ripping a plaster off ! |
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By *ularliWoman 35 weeks ago
Worcester |
"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them.
Name your price
You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready "
I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? |
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Anyone willing to just sit and run their fingers through my hair? Something very relaxing and therapeutic about having someone run their fingers (especially with long nails) through my hair.
Name your price |
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them.
Name your price
You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready
I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? "
Cake works for me 
I'll volunteer if Mr H0rn3y Devil 76 doesnt like cake! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
|
"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Lends you my back tickler
Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly
Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling
Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers "
Sounds like an accident waiting to happen  |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. "
I volunteer to help if I can have a body-to-body massage in return |
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Lends you my back tickler
Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly
Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling
Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers
Sounds like an accident waiting to happen "
Haha very true
I'll have to put a swap request in for a nurse to help with my recovery! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
|
"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great
I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou!
Lends you my back tickler
Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly
Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling
Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers
Sounds like an accident waiting to happen
Haha very true
I'll have to put a swap request in for a nurse to help with my recovery! "
You’ll have to excuse my terrible bedside manner. |
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By *ularliWoman 35 weeks ago
Worcester |
"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them.
Name your price
You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready
I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead?
Cake works for me
I'll volunteer if Mr H0rn3y Devil 76 doesnt like cake! "
I’m more than happy to share |
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"A regular lift home from work at 7 am.. will swap for petrol money and a bj! Lol
I give my friend a lift home ! She never offered me this
Did you ever ask her though?"
No I wouldn’t go there she is a very good friend always has been wouldn’t want to lose her as friend |
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them.
Name your price
You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready
I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? "
Black Forrest? |
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By *alcon77Man 35 weeks ago
under the sun & the moon |
"Offer a favour for a favour…. In kind fab themed!
Join in and ask for something and hopefully someone might be able to help you out in a fab way! Either of the same ‘value’ or greater
I really need a neck and shoulder massage, I can’t do this myself. So in return I do something for someone ... You get the idea!
What do you need? … and can someone help you that reads your post?
Enjoy
"
I need a personal assistant.
-That will accept hugs for payment. |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. "
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
|
"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie "
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! |
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By *ularliWoman 35 weeks ago
Worcester |
"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them.
Name your price
You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready
I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead?
Black Forrest? "
Anything you’d like |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! "
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that  )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
|
"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?"
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?  |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!? "
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
|
"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly"
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! "
You're sacking me off for Phil?  |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil? "
I volunteer to take Phil's place! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
|
"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil? "
A guy has got to eat. |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil?
I volunteer to take Phil's place!"
So you and Woody then? |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil?
A guy has got to eat. "
I offered food! *Invites Woody's narrator instead* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
|
"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil?
A guy has got to eat.
I offered food! *Invites Woody's narrator instead* "
Narrator - Woody is busy looking for a cookbook to learn how to make egg fried rice …,
“Em! I’m free “ |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil?
A guy has got to eat.
I offered food! *Invites Woody's narrator instead* "
Fine by me as long as I'm allowed a turn to give a massage as well |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil?
A guy has got to eat. "
I make really fucking good egg fried rice! |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?"
I'd love to come and sing for you guys! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
|
"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
I'd love to come and sing for you guys!"
You’ve got your first gig. |
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I'd really like somebody to go to work for me today. Not all day, just to allow me a few more hours sleep.
In return i can offer lunch, or dinner or both. May or may not include chocolate and alcohol as required.
|
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them.
Name your price
You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready
I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead?
Black Forrest?
Anything you’d like "
Then it’s a deal warming hands up now |
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!)
I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats.
My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie
I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!!
Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that )
Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?
Can Phil sing spooky songs?
*who is Phil!?
I dunno ,maybe?
That run through the tulips Song?
Phil is up there just above my post silly
Just seen Phil.
I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!!
You're sacking me off for Phil?
I volunteer to take Phil's place!
So you and Woody then?"
Whoahhhhhh what about me |
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By *sWyldWoman 35 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Can someone be ill for me? I'd really like to be able to bend down or do things without feeling like I'm going to pass out after.
Currently attempting to hoover the sofas and I've had to stop for a rest.. WTF 
Right now I can't offer much in return except my gratitude.
Could buy you a drink when I'm better though |
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"Can someone be ill for me? I'd really like to be able to bend down or do things without feeling like I'm going to pass out after.
Currently attempting to hoover the sofas and I've had to stop for a rest.. WTF
Right now I can't offer much in return except my gratitude.
Could buy you a drink when I'm better though "
I hate being ill so that’s a no however I’ll go grab some shopping for you or tidy round while you drink a hot honey, lemon and dram of whiskey remedy |
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Can someone please take on my shift in the kitchens? Last week I upset Slasher by making a joke about his mince and he’s pretty angry.
I’ll give you three badly rolled ciggies and a drawing of some grey bricks. It’s a landscape. |
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