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Age and maturity and being informed
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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I'm either old fashioned, naive, outdated or just not informed.
Does anyone think that the starting age of 18 is too young? At 18 are teenagers(they are teenagers) still growing and maturing and should be learning about sex and all the information that comes with it? Is 18 too young for experimentation?
I know the world moves fast and I'm not moving with it
It's my thoughts only but it turns my stomach to see profiles aged 18 with pics where they look 15, wanting to gangbang, be taken dogging, and as I've just read, be fucked in their teen pussy while their 'master' watches.
Open for debate
There's no right answer just opinions |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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At 33, I 100% agree with you. It feels incredibly wrong.
But if you'd have asked 18 yr old me I was already having 3somes. Just organically instead of organized haha. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"At 33, I 100% agree with you. It feels incredibly wrong.
But if you'd have asked 18 yr old me I was already having 3somes. Just organically instead of organized haha. "
So you felt at that age mature enough for experimentation?
It's funny, all I thought of is getting my wage and going to the cinema lol |
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Innocence is lost so much earlier with todays youth.
Kids aren't allowed to be kids anymore due to peer pressure and also social media pressure.
No different to a beautiful girl in her late teens early twenties getting fillers, botox and all those other treatments and coming out looking like a forty year old. Why?
I think back now, and I knew nothing at that age, I thought I did, but I was in every way still a child with so much learning to do.
I think the difference between them and us, is that with the media at large we can take it or leave it as we grew up in a time before social media - biro and a cassette anyone?
Now, social media and the weight of peer expectation is seen as a necessity rather than an option by many.
What do I know, I'm short, balding and stink of piss and werthers originals! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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" I lost my virginity at 14 and never once felt uncomfortable, pressured or out of my depth. I also experimented with a lot of girl friends at a very young age and never thought of it as a bad thing.
Sex has always been an escape from real life for me, not in a morbid my life is awful way, but I never got on with my parents and so being able to meet men and spend time with mature people (I couldn't be doing with hanging round a skate park bickering about who texted who's boyfriend, eurgh ) it was a healthy escape for me.
But I also looked and acted a lot older (I've been 5"11 since I was 15! And so I feel like I, personally was finding myself within that.
However, I look at young girls now and could not possibly imagine how I would feel if my daughter did the same at that age.
I would still be sick to my stomach about it.
"
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I know exactly what you mean op
I think people nowadays want to grow up faster than I ever wanted to.
At 18 I was still very naive and getting into this scene wouldn't have entered my mind.
I do wonder how many join just expecting it to be like Tinder and other instant hook up sites though. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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As long as they are adults and are making the decision for theirselves I guess it's their choice. The only thing that concerns me is having the emotional maturity to deal with the bad side of the lifestyle. Rejection, feeling of being used, aggressive or abusive people, body issues and others attitude to sex can have an effect on anyone's confidence, self esteem and safety but younger people I worry will suffer more if they develop these patterns at that age. |
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My opinion as always will be influenced by personal experience and as such I can't relate to teenage exploration.
I was forced by circumstance to take on adult responsibility at the age of 12 and as a direct consequence of that I didn't kiss a girl until I was almost 20 and didn't have sex until I was almost 25.
Anything outside that reality is completely alien to me but it has also influenced how I brought my daughters up and still to this day influences me on fab in the way I don't chat to or meet anyone within 10 years of my kids ages. |
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By *odevilWoman 35 weeks ago
exeter |
I did start experimenting at quite a young age I'd find it difficult to believe that someone as young as 18 has the emotional maturity to deal with something like a gangbang or even a D/s dynamic.
I'm all for sexual liberation, experimentation and destigmatisation but I'd have to be certain that someone so young isn't going to end up with some kind of emotional damage when engaging in that type of play.
I fear many people do not take the same kind of care.
Teenagers are hardwired to throw themselves headlong into situations without considering all the risks, that's a neurological fact.
For me that automatically calls into question their ability to give informed consent and therefore a huge red flag.
It's a sweeping generalisation, I accept but without knowing specific details of any given situation, that would be my position. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I did start experimenting at quite a young age I'd find it difficult to believe that someone as young as 18 has the emotional maturity to deal with something like a gangbang or even a D/s dynamic.
I'm all for sexual liberation, experimentation and destigmatisation but I'd have to be certain that someone so young isn't going to end up with some kind of emotional damage when engaging in that type of play.
I fear many people do not take the same kind of care.
Teenagers are hardwired to throw themselves headlong into situations without considering all the risks, that's a neurological fact.
For me that automatically calls into question their ability to give informed consent and therefore a huge red flag.
It's a sweeping generalisation, I accept but without knowing specific details of any given situation, that would be my position. "
I think young people these days are more emotionally damaged by social media than sexual encounters.
Honest opinion. |
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Everyone is immature until they start living life. We have historically considered 18 to be the start of adult life and that was worked well for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Now we seem to want to push that out to 21 or beyond.
If someone is an adult then they are an adult and we need to stop infantilising people. The idea that people can’t make their own decisions is, frankly, insulting and demeaning to them. We might not like the decisions they make but everyone starts at some point and we need to respect that. |
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By *odevilWoman 35 weeks ago
exeter |
"I did start experimenting at quite a young age I'd find it difficult to believe that someone as young as 18 has the emotional maturity to deal with something like a gangbang or even a D/s dynamic.
I'm all for sexual liberation, experimentation and destigmatisation but I'd have to be certain that someone so young isn't going to end up with some kind of emotional damage when engaging in that type of play.
I fear many people do not take the same kind of care.
Teenagers are hardwired to throw themselves headlong into situations without considering all the risks, that's a neurological fact.
For me that automatically calls into question their ability to give informed consent and therefore a huge red flag.
It's a sweeping generalisation, I accept but without knowing specific details of any given situation, that would be my position.
I think young people these days are more emotionally damaged by social media than sexual encounters.
Honest opinion. "
That might be true generally speaking but it doesn't really change what I've already stated. Damage is damage and should be addressed before engaging in anything that could cause even more harm.
That said, there are plenty of fully grown adults who lack the maturity to cope with sexual experimentation of this nature.
That's not exclusive to younger people.
It's just the topic of this thread relates to young people/teenagers specifically.
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By *odevilWoman 35 weeks ago
exeter |
"Everyone is immature until they start living life. We have historically considered 18 to be the start of adult life and that was worked well for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Now we seem to want to push that out to 21 or beyond.
If someone is an adult then they are an adult and we need to stop infantilising people. The idea that people can’t make their own decisions is, frankly, insulting and demeaning to them. We might not like the decisions they make but everyone starts at some point and we need to respect that. "
Also true, and as I said I did start experimenting at younger than 18... though not to the extent of being gangbanged or "loaned" out.
Yes, young people can make their own choices and I'm not judging that at all - I would have my own reservations and concerns about engaging with an 18 year old and that's MY choice.
I don't think that an older/more experienced person should have a blasé attitude when considering having extreme or experimental sex with a much younger person for reasons I've already stated.
Hopefully, it's not infantilising to take care with the feelings and wellbeing of a much less experienced potential partner? |
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"At 33, I 100% agree with you. It feels incredibly wrong.
But if you'd have asked 18 yr old me I was already having 3somes. Just organically instead of organized haha. "
True
At 18 I thought I knew more about sex than most old people , and in some ways I did and in other ways I was clueless about relationships.
Young people have a lot of information now and have the same rights to express and find themselves without being judged as older people do.
And all kinds of people of all ages can be vulnerable, naive and taken advantage of so we should focus on that not the age |
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By *TG3Man 35 weeks ago
Dorchester |
They are like rabbits on heat and they want it all but i agree this lifestyle shouldn't be for them they should be finding their feet in the world and forming long lasting relationships but hey ho who are we to criticise their choices, make mistakes and find out early on  |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Everyone is immature until they start living life. We have historically considered 18 to be the start of adult life and that was worked well for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Now we seem to want to push that out to 21 or beyond.
If someone is an adult then they are an adult and we need to stop infantilising people. The idea that people can’t make their own decisions is, frankly, insulting and demeaning to them. We might not like the decisions they make but everyone starts at some point and we need to respect that. "
I understand that, but I suppose my reservations would be who they are doing that stuff with. If it was with people their own age and around that then it's completely fine to explore, but if the age gap is in the double digits, then it can come off as a bit predatory. I'm 28 and there's no chance I would even think of being with an 18 year old so can't see why a 40 year old would think it's ok. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"
And all kinds of people of all ages can be vulnerable, naive and taken advantage of so we should focus on that not the age "
This.
All you can hope for is that people within this community are respectful enough to treat anybody vulnerable or inexperienced with respect and kindness. The worry is that we know that is not always the case.
And also at the end of the day. If someone of 18 wants to come on here and the age is 21. What is actually stopping them from lying about their age?
I certainly would have done that.
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Btw, I appreciate I may come across as a hypocrite being into older women myself, but I think being the older you get, the bigger the age gap that becomes acceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Btw, I appreciate I may come across as a hypocrite being into older women myself, but I think being the older you get, the bigger the age gap that becomes acceptable."
Totally.
Also. Your profile made me chuckle.
Thankyou  |
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I've met some intelligent 18 year olds that have more understanding of sex, consent and much else than half the men on here.
Everyone matures differently.
Not saying I'd meet an 18 year old, but I wouldn't meet many of the childish 35 year olds either.
Mrs |
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I don't think there was any significant difference between the sex I wanted as a 12 year old, arguably 11, through to today.
I had sex for the first time at 18.
The issues would have been much more around pregnancy, the responsibilities of either having children, aborting, or putting the children up for adoption, which are largely economic and situational.
So I knew, and wanted, about 85% of what I know or want about sex and intimacy from 12 upwards.
I'm not suggesting the age of consent becomes 12 - we don't have a culture that could manage all the implications. And some people get to the age of 80 and don't have sexual knowledge, or "nous".
But my knowledge and desire aren't really that much different to today.
It's much more the ability to manage consequences within ongoing life parameters, which broaden as we age (mostly). |
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"Everyone is immature until they start living life. We have historically considered 18 to be the start of adult life and that was worked well for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Now we seem to want to push that out to 21 or beyond.
If someone is an adult then they are an adult and we need to stop infantilising people. The idea that people can’t make their own decisions is, frankly, insulting and demeaning to them. We might not like the decisions they make but everyone starts at some point and we need to respect that.
I understand that, but I suppose my reservations would be who they are doing that stuff with. If it was with people their own age and around that then it's completely fine to explore, but if the age gap is in the double digits, then it can come off as a bit predatory. I'm 28 and there's no chance I would even think of being with an 18 year old so can't see why a 40 year old would think it's ok."
I do agree with you - personally I prefer women in their 40s and onwards as I think they are in their sexual prime.
That said, I do fully respect anyone who is an adult and I don’t think we should judge their decisions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"I'm either old fashioned, naive, outdated or just not informed.
Does anyone think that the starting age of 18 is too young? At 18 are teenagers(they are teenagers) still growing and maturing and should be learning about sex and all the information that comes with it? Is 18 too young for experimentation?
I know the world moves fast and I'm not moving with it
It's my thoughts only but it turns my stomach to see profiles aged 18 with pics where they look 15, wanting to gangbang, be taken dogging, and as I've just read, be fucked in their teen pussy while their 'master' watches.
Open for debate
There's no right answer just opinions"
I need to clarify
Do you think the age 18 is too young to join the site, or similar lifestyle sites? As teenagers, is it possible that they've matured that much that they know it's 'in'them? |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Btw, I appreciate I may come across as a hypocrite being into older women myself, but I think being the older you get, the bigger the age gap that becomes acceptable.
Totally.
Also. Your profile made me chuckle.
Thankyou "
You're more than welcome |
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By *odevilWoman 35 weeks ago
exeter |
"At 33, I 100% agree with you. It feels incredibly wrong.
But if you'd have asked 18 yr old me I was already having 3somes. Just organically instead of organized haha. "
And the context is crucial isn't it?
I was the samecat 18 but the people I was experimenting with were people I knew,and had some degree of trust/reassurance/support with or from.
NOT random strangers on the being invited to come and have wild orgies |
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By *odevilWoman 35 weeks ago
exeter |
"I'm either old fashioned, naive, outdated or just not informed.
Does anyone think that the starting age of 18 is too young? At 18 are teenagers(they are teenagers) still growing and maturing and should be learning about sex and all the information that comes with it? Is 18 too young for experimentation?
I know the world moves fast and I'm not moving with it
It's my thoughts only but it turns my stomach to see profiles aged 18 with pics where they look 15, wanting to gangbang, be taken dogging, and as I've just read, be fucked in their teen pussy while their 'master' watches.
Open for debate
There's no right answer just opinions
I need to clarify
Do you think the age 18 is too young to join the site, or similar lifestyle sites? As teenagers, is it possible that they've matured that much that they know it's 'in'them?"
As a blanket rule, then my answer would be no, I don't think 18 is *too* young to join the site.
And I think if that restriction was imposed people would just lie (more than they already do) about their age as with any other agree restricted site.
Prohibiting things often just makes situations more precarious because it just forces those who are going to do it anyway into ever more shady circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Yes agree I think 25 to 30 would b best! But it is age of consent so spose has to be! Although could b like supermarkets and think 25?? X"
Isn’t it “challenge 25” in supermarkets? In that an 18 year old can purchase restricted items. To my knowledge there are no products which require purchasers to be older than 18. |
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"Yes agree I think 25 to 30 would b best! But it is age of consent so spose has to be! Although could b like supermarkets and think 25?? X
Isn’t it “challenge 25” in supermarkets? In that an 18 year old can purchase restricted items. To my knowledge there are no products which require purchasers to be older than 18. "
In both supermarkets I worked we were taught think 25! X |
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To be honest I was 18/19 when I entered this life I didn’t know it was at the time I was young and working away from home for the first time and it was with limited mobile internet I was meeting lonely wife’s that husband where else where working! It wasn’t till a few years later and finding sites like this I knew is was involved in the swinging life at the time |
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By *unchalMan 35 weeks ago
Dartford |
"At 33, I 100% agree with you. It feels incredibly wrong.
But if you'd have asked 18 yr old me I was already having 3somes. Just organically instead of organized haha. "
There is no easy answer. At 18 they are adults. Couldn’t wait to have my first threesome when I was 18 too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Yes agree I think 25 to 30 would b best! But it is age of consent so spose has to be! Although could b like supermarkets and think 25?? X
Isn’t it “challenge 25” in supermarkets? In that an 18 year old can purchase restricted items. To my knowledge there are no products which require purchasers to be older than 18.
In both supermarkets I worked we were taught think 25! X"
What did you do when a teenager wanted to buy beer. You applied “think 25”. Identity docs then shown showing the purchaser was 18. Did you allow the sale or refuse because they weren’t 25? |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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". To my knowledge there are no products which require purchasers to be older than 18. "
And it also doesn't stop them. Infact it makes it more of an appealing taboo if anything |
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"Yes agree I think 25 to 30 would b best! But it is age of consent so spose has to be! Although could b like supermarkets and think 25?? X
Isn’t it “challenge 25” in supermarkets? In that an 18 year old can purchase restricted items. To my knowledge there are no products which require purchasers to be older than 18.
In both supermarkets I worked we were taught think 25! X
What did you do when a teenager wanted to buy beer. You applied “think 25”. Identity docs then shown showing the purchaser was 18. Did you allow the sale or refuse because they weren’t 25?"
If they had Id and were old enough to purchase the product then obvs were sold it if no id then not! X |
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At my age now, I understand what you are saying but at 18 I was doing lots of things that people didn't agree with but i wouldnt be told what to do as it was my choice. I don't regret any of it either. We may think they are too young but is that just because we got older? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"Yes agree I think 25 to 30 would b best! But it is age of consent so spose has to be! Although could b like supermarkets and think 25?? X
Isn’t it “challenge 25” in supermarkets? In that an 18 year old can purchase restricted items. To my knowledge there are no products which require purchasers to be older than 18.
In both supermarkets I worked we were taught think 25! X
What did you do when a teenager wanted to buy beer. You applied “think 25”. Identity docs then shown showing the purchaser was 18. Did you allow the sale or refuse because they weren’t 25?"
You only think 25. You look at the person and have the guess if they are 25 and over, if you think they are younger then ID is asked for, if they can't produce ID then you can refuse as you believe they are under 25 and call a supervisor for back up. Supervisor can then make the decision. I used to step away if my supervisor overruled my decision to not sell and then I could not be responsible if they were in fact underage. When think 25 came out, a lot of people were asked for ID even if they were 30! So they got the hint as they were young looking, to carry ID just in case.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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And to add, just because something is legal, doesn't necessarily mean that its right morally.
I am liking that the thread hasn't spiraled
Thanks guys and gals |
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The legal age of consent is 16 so, it could be a lot worse!
At 18, you're legally an adult and are expected to start making informed decisions.
I know 18 year olds who are far more sensible and responsible than most 40 year olds, and I know ow 18 year olds who still act like they're 10.
I'm not convinced this is a debate that can be framed as being objectively right or wrong. As with most things, there is nuance. |
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"At 33, I 100% agree with you. It feels incredibly wrong.
But if you'd have asked 18 yr old me I was already having 3somes. Just organically instead of organized haha.
So you felt at that age mature enough for experimentation?
It's funny, all I thought of is getting my wage and going to the cinema lol"
At 18, I was responsible for a 2yo child and working FT in my gap year. Then I went to uni the next year and juggled my son, work and study. Successfully, actually.
My/our sexual interests were quite a bit more vanilla, but not entirely. We've been together since we were at sixth form. We experimented with handcuffs and other light BDSM very early. We talked about 3somes (but didn't actually do it) early.
I think it all depends on the individual.
I agree with whoever above said we'd be very concerned about the extent to which younger people put themselves in danger by meeting random strangers from places like this. Definitely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"The legal age of consent is 16 so, it could be a lot worse!
At 18, you're legally an adult and are expected to start making informed decisions.
I know 18 year olds who are far more sensible and responsible than most 40 year olds, and I know ow 18 year olds who still act like they're 10.
I'm not convinced this is a debate that can be framed as being objectively right or wrong. As with most things, there is nuance."
Which is why I said in the op that there's no right answer just opinions |
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I disagree, people mature at different ages. I've seen people on here in their 50s that I question their maturity.
If fab swingers had been around when I was 18 I would defintly have been mature enough to join.
The age of consent in this country is 16. So you could be married with a couple of kids by the time your 18..
The age to join the site is 18 so it's more than fair if 18 year old want to join |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I'm either old fashioned, naive, outdated or just not informed.
Does anyone think that the starting age of 18 is too young? At 18 are teenagers(they are teenagers) still growing and maturing and should be learning about sex and all the information that comes with it? Is 18 too young for experimentation?
I know the world moves fast and I'm not moving with it
It's my thoughts only but it turns my stomach to see profiles aged 18 with pics where they look 15, wanting to gangbang, be taken dogging, and as I've just read, be fucked in their teen pussy while their 'master' watches.
Open for debate
There's no right answer just opinions"
Putting aside the fact that 99% of those profiles are fake or scammers/sex workers, the age of consent is more of an admission that at 18 your people are no longer easy to control by parents, so we might just let them be. As for experimentation and learning, when are they supposed to get it if not at early age when their bodies are developed and ready for reproduction? |
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