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What is the first thing a British person would say when in heaven
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"Can I join the Muslim Quarters? I heard they get 72 virgins
Probably sounded better in your head that
Also, who'd want 72 virgins?
Gimme 3-4 experienced sluts anytime..."
Your best bet is an 80 year who's been on fab for 14 years and have 800+ meet verifications half of them are bareback gangbang |
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Sorry we’re late! Traffic was terrible getting here, the H1 is being turned into a smart motorway and you’ve got those long roadworks - you know between J9 & 17? Miles of cones and no one doing anything. And some prick had broken down and the traffic wombles had closed two lanes.
Got through all that and stopped at the services for food. £36.99 for two plates of sausage, chips and beans and two teas!! Bleedin rip off. Must have one of them celebrity chefs cooking it haha. For that money I’d want them to eat it for me! Then I needed a shit but the services toilets were closed so we had to get in the back roads to find a pub, but they made me buy a .
Still weather wasn’t bad. Better than last week, remember that rain?! What’s it like here next week? I want to get out to explore.
Is there an O’Neills? We like their fry ups instead of local muck. Have you changed up your funny money yet? Only 1.50 to the pound! Fucking government.
Do you get sky sports in the rooms?
Did you get parked ok? We had to park miles away down some side road and walk in with four fucking suitcases, her banging that massive ‘handbag’ against my legs the whole way. What does a single yellow line mean?
Do you get big kettles in the rooms? We always bring our own coz I can’t stand them dinky little ones. When you need a brew you need a big mug, know what I mean?
We brought a thousand PG Tips but I dunno what we’ll do when they run out. Drink the local shit I suppose.
Is there an Iceland here?
She was wondering if Jesus does the bingo? She’s just got into it back home.
This queue isn’t moving is it. Are they gonna open up an extra till or what?
I could go on haha  |
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"Sorry we’re late! Traffic was terrible getting here, the H1 is being turned into a smart motorway and you’ve got those long roadworks - you know between J9 & 17? Miles of cones and no one doing anything. And some prick had broken down and the traffic wombles had closed two lanes.
Got through all that and stopped at the services for food. £36.99 for two plates of sausage, chips and beans and two teas!! Bleedin rip off. Must have one of them celebrity chefs cooking it haha. For that money I’d want them to eat it for me! Then I needed a shit but the services toilets were closed so we had to get in the back roads to find a pub, but they made me buy a .
Still weather wasn’t bad. Better than last week, remember that rain?! What’s it like here next week? I want to get out to explore.
Is there an O’Neills? We like their fry ups instead of local muck. Have you changed up your funny money yet? Only 1.50 to the pound! Fucking government.
Do you get sky sports in the rooms?
Did you get parked ok? We had to park miles away down some side road and walk in with four fucking suitcases, her banging that massive ‘handbag’ against my legs the whole way. What does a single yellow line mean?
Do you get big kettles in the rooms? We always bring our own coz I can’t stand them dinky little ones. When you need a brew you need a big mug, know what I mean?
We brought a thousand PG Tips but I dunno what we’ll do when they run out. Drink the local shit I suppose.
Is there an Iceland here?
She was wondering if Jesus does the bingo? She’s just got into it back home.
This queue isn’t moving is it. Are they gonna open up an extra till or what?
I could go on haha "
Bravo.  |
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