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Timewasters
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks " Anyone can change their mind at any point. It doesn't make them a timewaster. If its happening frequently then maybe you're engaging with the wrong people, or in the wrong way. Something as simple as a misconstrued message can then someone off instantly, and cause them to lose interest. If they're still online chances are they've moved on to a new chat that's attracted them more or they're browsing for someone else. Nobody is obliged to carry on chatting. | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks Anyone can change their mind at any point. It doesn't make them a timewaster. If its happening frequently then maybe you're engaging with the wrong people, or in the wrong way. Something as simple as a misconstrued message can then someone off instantly, and cause them to lose interest. If they're still online chances are they've moved on to a new chat that's attracted them more or they're browsing for someone else. Nobody is obliged to carry on chatting. " Would you say "I'm available whenever your ready just let me know" is off-putting? Wow lol | |||
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"Their response (or lack of it) might be rude and borderline abusive to your mental health, but people can withdraw consent at any time. I would look at this from another angle, if the couple messaging treated you like this badly now...what would have happened if you had got into the bedroom? What happens if a condom breaks? What happens if someone farts? You are in a vulnerable position on your own with these people, you know now they wouldn't have taken care of you" Lool | |||
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"I can see your frustration from both points of view. When i was on here with an account as a single guy but also we get a huge number of time wasters now I'm on here with a couples account with my partner. In some cases there will be a genuine reason for disconnecting a family emergency, a break up for example in other cases people are just plain rude or too afraid just to admit that no longer interested. But remember is this site is about sex and sexual attraction sets off chemical responses in the brain causing a thrill. People can get very easily sucked into the latest thrill and forget about everyone else. It's simply human nature." I must not be human then cos if I make contact with someone and they reciprocate I try to show I'm genuine and make the effort with them then if it don't work out... then I move on lol | |||
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"Agreed but the simple helpful common courtesy of a message saying 'sorry but after all we/I am not feeling the vibe after all. Thanks for your interest and good luck ' takes seconds to write. It provides closure in a polite helpful way. Lack of closure in any connection with someone however superficial a relationship, can cause mental trauma to a recipient dependent on their underlying mental health. It leads to self doubt, loss of confidence, even depression or anger or others negative ideations. You have no idea when you ghost someone if you do what their mental state is and how harmful it can be.. It takes just a few seconds to be considerate of the emotional and mental well-being of the person you disconnecting from. Well said 
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"Agreed but the simple helpful common courtesy of a message saying 'sorry but after all we/I am not feeling the vibe after all. Thanks for your interest and good luck ' takes seconds to write. It provides closure in a polite helpful way. Lack of closure in any connection with someone however superficial a relationship, can cause mental trauma to a recipient dependent on their underlying mental health. It leads to self doubt, loss of confidence, even depression or anger or others negative ideations. You have no idea when you ghost someone if you do what their mental state is and how harmful it can be.. It takes just a few seconds to be considerate of the emotional and mental well-being of the person you disconnecting from. " Well said  | |||
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"I never implied for a moment that you're not human but perhaps your thought process is a mental pathways work differently from other people's. You are taking a very rational linear approach to attraction and matching with people. This is not as common as you think. A great many people work on emotional decisions rather than rational linear decisions when it comes to attraction and dating. " I'm not saying your saying I'm not human, I'm saying I must not be human lol, I take your point but at the same time I just think it's common courtesy that if you go out of your way to make contact with someone don't waste their time by just disappearing iv made contact with them so why do that if I'm just going to disappear and not follow it through and show genuineness | |||
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"Conversations - with the best of intentions - sometimes fizzle out for a multitude of reasons. It's not necessarily time wasting. Unless they're outwardly leading you on or setting false expectations, people can change their minds. Also be mindful that some people are concurrently engaged in chats with more than one person/s and that they may have a 'plan b' or 'plan c'... If they're breadcrumbing you then perhaps quite possibly they're wasting your time." Point taken but I get couples who say they want to meet and when can I meet then I say "whenever your ready" as I don't like to seem pushy then next thing I know... no response Well then don't ask me to meet if your not gonna follow through, things are tough for us menon here as it is lol Asking too meet then not replying afterwards is wasting my time in my book lol | |||
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"I never implied for a moment that you're not human but perhaps your thought process is a mental pathways work differently from other people's. You are taking a very rational linear approach to attraction and matching with people. This is not as common as you think. A great many people work on emotional decisions rather than rational linear decisions when it comes to attraction and dating. I'm not saying your saying I'm not human, I'm saying I must not be human lol, I take your point but at the same time I just think it's common courtesy that if you go out of your way to make contact with someone don't waste their time by just disappearing iv made contact with them so why do that if I'm just going to disappear and not follow it through and show genuineness "Just because you have common courtesy doesn't mean everyone you chat to does. Sometimes people have a genuine reason, sometimes people are arseholes. Lots of different types of folk on here, try not to expect everyone to be the same x | |||
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"Conversations - with the best of intentions - sometimes fizzle out for a multitude of reasons. It's not necessarily time wasting. Unless they're outwardly leading you on or setting false expectations, people can change their minds. Also be mindful that some people are concurrently engaged in chats with more than one person/s and that they may have a 'plan b' or 'plan c'... If they're breadcrumbing you then perhaps quite possibly they're wasting your time. · Point taken but I get couples who say they want to meet and when can I meet then I say "whenever your ready" as I don't like to seem pushy then next thing I know... no response Well then don't ask me to meet if your not gonna follow through, things are tough for us menon here as it is lol Asking too meet then not replying afterwards is wasting my time in my book lol" • How many times has this happened to you, OP? | |||
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"I never implied for a moment that you're not human but perhaps your thought process is a mental pathways work differently from other people's. You are taking a very rational linear approach to attraction and matching with people. This is not as common as you think. A great many people work on emotional decisions rather than rational linear decisions when it comes to attraction and dating. I'm not saying your saying I'm not human, I'm saying I must not be human lol, I take your point but at the same time I just think it's common courtesy that if you go out of your way to make contact with someone don't waste their time by just disappearing iv made contact with them so why do that if I'm just going to disappear and not follow it through and show genuineness
Just because you have common courtesy doesn't mean everyone you chat to does.
Sometimes people have a genuine reason, sometimes people are arseholes.
Lots of different types of folk on here, try not to expect everyone to be the same x"Fair point | |||
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"Conversations - with the best of intentions - sometimes fizzle out for a multitude of reasons. It's not necessarily time wasting. Unless they're outwardly leading you on or setting false expectations, people can change their minds. Also be mindful that some people are concurrently engaged in chats with more than one person/s and that they may have a 'plan b' or 'plan c'... If they're breadcrumbing you then perhaps quite possibly they're wasting your time. · Point taken but I get couples who say they want to meet and when can I meet then I say "whenever your ready" as I don't like to seem pushy then next thing I know... no response Well then don't ask me to meet if your not gonna follow through, things are tough for us menon here as it is lol Asking too meet then not replying afterwards is wasting my time in my book lol • How many times has this happened to you, OP?" A few times and it's not cos of what iv said or done, I'm not pushy I don't send unsolicited dick pics and I'm very polite and the conversations always seem to be going well before the disappearance out of nowhere occurs | |||
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"Meets are rare but they do happen. Helps if your into many kinks, but always be honest with your preferences as you will get found out quickly. Be respectful and approach couples as a couple. Read their profile and reference information in your message. Even all that will 99/100 fail. But I have had the best experiences of my life through fab. If you don't keep the spark going they will stop talking. You probably do the same when you lose interest. Ande never chase the reply. Send it and wait" I always send a reply and wait and If they don't respond again I leave it I don't carry on.. If I make the first contact I don't lose interest I always stick to what I say otherwise I don't feel I would be genuine if I didn't, I know others on here don't but I try to show them people that if I'm interested in them and gone out NY way to make contact I don't waiver from that | |||
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"Nobody is obliged to carry on chatting. "
Lots of things can happen to cause someone to change their mind.
If someone is no longer interested, they have no obligation even if the other person is still enthusiastic.
Plus, quite often, if someone stops chatting it's because the other person has said or done something to put them off.
It's easier and less uncomfortable, of course, to blame the person who has disengaged, for timewasting, than to examine whether there might have been something problematic in one's own conduct. | |||
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"and for no reason whatsoever." There's always a reason. You just don't know it, or don't consider it legitimate. Nobody breaks off contact or blocks someone for no reason. | |||
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"I can see your frustration from both points of view. When i was on here with an account as a single guy but also we get a huge number of time wasters now I'm on here with a couples account with my partner. In some cases there will be a genuine reason for disconnecting a family emergency, a break up for example in other cases people are just plain rude or too afraid just to admit that no longer interested. But remember is this site is about sex and sexual attraction sets off chemical responses in the brain causing a thrill. People can get very easily sucked into the latest thrill and forget about everyone else. It's simply human nature." Is this site about sex i think you are fundamentally wrong in that assumption ask the men how many of them get sex from it?  | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks " They’re not wasting your time, they simply decided that they didn’t want to talk to you anymore. | |||
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" a relationship, can cause mental trauma to a recipient dependent on their underlying mental health. It leads to self doubt, loss of confidence, even depression or anger or others negative ideations. You have no idea when you ghost someone if you do what their mental state is and how harmful it can be.. It takes just a few seconds to be considerate of the emotional and mental well-being of the person you disconnecting from. " If someone’s mental health is so poor that someone stopping chatting to them on a swinging site damages it further then they should not be here. It’s not single women’s and couples responsibility to look after men’s mental health here. They need to look after their own. | |||
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"It’s a sex site..don’t be on here if you’re not looking for it!!" Whilst people can use the site for whatever reason they want, it's actually a swingers site, not instashag. Many come here to add a small element to their sex lives, not to provide the only or main source of sex. They appreciate things sometimes take time, people like to build connections and talk for a while, that many couples and women want to establish common interests and learn a little bit about others before saying ,'come over and fuck me senseless'. Sure. Some are less bothered with that and just want a quick fix with no build up, no long chat and don't worry about ensuring the person they're talking to is who they claim to be and doesn't drive round with a shovel and bin liners in their car boot. But generally they're the exception rather than the rule. If people are saying they're willing to meet 'whenever' then that's a pretty vague response. It's like asking a partner where they want to go out for dinner and them saying 'anywhere', asking what they want to eat and them saying 'whatever' and when you say 'what do you want to drink they respond 'whatever you fancy'. They're being non committal, using open ended responses that don't give them you an answer and leave you second guessing as to what they actually want. So you wither have to leave the ball in their court and say 'come back to me when you decide', or ask a closed question - 'so how about meeting Saturday?' or 'I'm free tomorrow, are you?'. If then you don't get a simple response, they've either not decided you're right for them or they're fobbing you off and stalling, potentially waiting for a better option. At which point you have to put up with being left hanging or move on. The choice is yours. This is the internet. These aren't friends or people you know. They're random strangers that you're hoping to have sex with. If you think all of them are going to treat you with the utmost respect, be open and honest with you and give you their full time and attention.......then I have a bridge to sell you. That's not how life online works, whether it's right or wrong, fair or unfair or you feel people are wasting your time. The best way to avoid your time being wasted is to have lower expectations and not get invested in anyone until its evident that there's some level of commitment being shown to continuing to chat and look to meet. Until that point it's just 2/3/4 people having online chat. Nothing at all more and something that an stop at a moments notice. | |||
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" Plus, quite often, if someone stops chatting it's because the other person has said or done something to put them off. " I'd say this is probably the most common reason. Especially if what they say reveals a lie on their profile. | |||
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"Barring life situations, e.g. kid got his head stuck in a jam jar, quite often you are talking to a guy who set up a couple's profile and only told the wife all about it when he's realized you are ready and willing and it may actually be happening. And now he has a jam jar up his arse and an angry wife." You know when a forum post is so specific you feel like the story is probably true... | |||
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"Barring life situations, e.g. kid got his head stuck in a jam jar, quite often you are talking to a guy who set up a couple's profile and only told the wife all about it when he's realized you are ready and willing and it may actually be happening. And now he has a jam jar up his arse and an angry wife. You know when a forum post is so specific you feel like the story is probably true..." Except for the jam jar  | |||
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"Barring life situations, e.g. kid got his head stuck in a jam jar, quite often you are talking to a guy who set up a couple's profile and only told the wife all about it when he's realized you are ready and willing and it may actually be happening. And now he has a jam jar up his arse and an angry wife. You know when a forum post is so specific you feel like the story is probably true... Except for the jam jar "Easily rectifiable. | |||
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"…… why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks " Haha. Welcome to online socialising. … | |||
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"The reality is that majority of people just dont give a sh.. about other members on fab. They are just selfish. Let's call it the way it is. It is just a cherry picking game...very sad." exactly you're normally a faceless pic in a sea of pics or faceless avatar in a sea of blank avatars | |||
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"Barring life situations, e.g. kid got his head stuck in a jam jar, quite often you are talking to a guy who set up a couple's profile and only told the wife all about it when he's realized you are ready and willing and it may actually be happening. And now he has a jam jar up his arse and an angry wife. You know when a forum post is so specific you feel like the story is probably true... Except for the jam jar
Easily rectifiable."Shouldn't that be 'rectalifiable'....   | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks Anyone can change their mind at any point. It doesn't make them a timewaster. If its happening frequently then maybe you're engaging with the wrong people, or in the wrong way. Something as simple as a misconstrued message can then someone off instantly, and cause them to lose interest. If they're still online chances are they've moved on to a new chat that's attracted them more or they're browsing for someone else. Nobody is obliged to carry on chatting. " 100% agree. I've stopped mid conversation for several reasons and doesn't make us a time waster. Some reasons can be seen as petty like dirty finger nails but is a turn off situation and other times because they have broken the boundaries like private messaging/ white knighting. Mrs | |||
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Anyone can change their mind even during sex | |||
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"The reality is that majority of people just dont give a sh.. about other members on fab. They are just selfish. Let's call it the way it is. It is just a cherry picking game...very sad." | |||
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"and for no reason whatsoever. There's always a reason. You just don't know it, or don't consider it legitimate. Nobody breaks off contact or blocks someone for no reason." I'm not saying there isn't a reason, but some people mull over the reasons and deep dive into the why and analyze every aspect of it, this rarely serves the person doing that. So for my peace of mind, this is how I approach it. If this happened with everyone I spoke to, I'd look at myself and how I was conducting myself. On the odd occasions this happens, I try not to think about it or analyze it anymore. The reason isnt important, it's done, it might aswell be no reason to me. Sorry I was tired and didn't word this well. | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks Anyone can change their mind at any point. It doesn't make them a timewaster. If its happening frequently then maybe you're engaging with the wrong people, or in the wrong way. Something as simple as a misconstrued message can then someone off instantly, and cause them to lose interest. If they're still online chances are they've moved on to a new chat that's attracted them more or they're browsing for someone else. Nobody is obliged to carry on chatting. 100% agree. I've stopped mid conversation for several reasons and doesn't make us a time waster. Some reasons can be seen as petty like dirty finger nails but is a turn off situation and other times because they have broken the boundaries like private messaging/ white knighting. Mrs " White Knighting? | |||
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" White Knighting?" They come along on their trusty steed blowing a horn. Basically, they try to rescue the defenceless female from swinging and think they are forced into it. The comments like, if you were mine- I wouldn't let you do this  vom
Mrs | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks " Most (not all) couples profiles are very Male driven. The Man will send out loads of messages and winks without his partner knowing. We've bumped into couples on nights out who had messaged us but the Lady had no idea about the messages. So you think you're swapping messages with the couple but you're not. If she's shown your profile she may not fancy it or be in the mood. For the record couples get their time wasted too. | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks Most (not all) couples profiles are very Male driven. The Man will send out loads of messages and winks without his partner knowing. We've bumped into couples on nights out who had messaged us but the Lady had no idea about the messages. So you think you're swapping messages with the couple but you're not. If she's shown your profile she may not fancy it or be in the mood. For the record couples get their time wasted too." This is also true, I'm half a couple and sometimes my partner will like the look of someone and chat. When I see them,they've not been for me. We wouldn't let it get to a level of meeting someone and me not knowing though as that's not nice for anyone. mMybe if ive been working nights jack will be chatting to someone and when I join the chat I don't want to take it further. | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks " I'm not saying you are but try not to take it personal mate. This is the world we now live in, common courtesy is rare but expectations are high. As men (on Fab & in the real world) we constantly face rejection but we must see this as a building of character & push on to send that next message to the next sexy lady/couple on our hotlist, or approach the lady at the bar, or ask for another raise at work etc. Keep on keeping on mate | |||
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"...common courtesy is rare but expectations are high. As men (on Fab & in the real world) we constantly face rejection but we must see this as a building of character & push on to send that next message to the next sexy lady/couple on our hotlist, or approach the lady at the bar, or ask for another raise at work etc. Keep on keeping on mate" · One viable option would be to cease and desist sending messages. That will eliminate the fear and concept of "rejection". | |||
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" One viable option would be to cease and desist sending messages. That will eliminate the fear and concept of "rejection"." That's also an option, & one I commonly use as stated in my lengthy profile. I find that women who "find me" genuinely want to meet. I will still sporadically send a message to a hotlist lady n eagerly await her response which rarely comes, but Fortune Favours the Brave | |||
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"It's not just here. I often chat with women from other sites (Badoo, Indeed and others) and regularly get ghosted when things seem to have been going well and I haven't said anything to merit it. For example, the latest was when the woman told me she had been out with a friend for an Indian meal. I made the mistake of asking what she had, and never heard from her again! "She probably thought it was a form of fat shaming im glad im not a single guy trying to date/fuck in 2024 far to complicated for me!
I would just have a wank and a pot noodle | |||
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"Buddy, your walking into a pub with 1 women/couple and 200 guys all screaming at them and your getting upset things aren’t going how you think they are For the average guy messaging on here is dead. It’s not worth the effort you’ll put into 100s of messages to get a reply, to get ghosted half the time If you want actual results, go to a social or a club. The ratio will be 100x better and you’ll stand a fighting chance " Having spent years on n off Fab this is one of the best comments I've read in regards to this subject. The other benefit of going to socials/clubs are the verifications you get. Not just from playmates but from good friends you make along the way. Although I have none as yet on this profile, I know having a few good verifications n decent profile & some good pics stand you a better chance in making a connection | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks Anyone can change their mind at any point. It doesn't make them a timewaster. If its happening frequently then maybe you're engaging with the wrong people, or in the wrong way. Something as simple as a misconstrued message can then someone off instantly, and cause them to lose interest. If they're still online chances are they've moved on to a new chat that's attracted them more or they're browsing for someone else. Nobody is obliged to carry on chatting. Would you say "I'm available whenever your ready just let me know" is off-putting? Wow lol" We can’t judge on a single message without knowing the rest of the conversation. As a single sentence - no it’s not but we don’t know what preceded. | |||
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"As we all know things are very difficult for single guys on here as there is so much to choose from and we dont get 100s of messages like the ladies so when we do its like ok cool, so it really fustrates me when couples message me to say their interested and want to meet then we talk and all is going well then they just disappear and don't answer you back in mid conversation, why??, why waste our time? if your not going to keep in the conversation? It's very frustrating why can't ppl who say their interested stick to it instead of wasting our time saying you are then disappearing even tho it's says their still online, I swear people get off on wasting us single guy's time, please only genuine people who mean it message me please thanks " This is the truth, they don't actually owe you anything, its there perogative to stop the communication, just as its yours. Things change for people for a whole host of reasons, strike ot up as one of them amd move on | |||
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"It’s a sex site..don’t be on here if you’re not looking for it!!" I disagree, it’s a swingers site with people looking for different things and having different needs. For some that is social interaction on the forums and chatting, for others it’s something else. | |||
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"Agreed but the simple helpful common courtesy of a message saying 'sorry but after all we/I am not feeling the vibe after all. Thanks for your interest and good luck ' takes seconds to write. It provides closure in a polite helpful way. Lack of closure in any connection with someone however superficial a relationship, can cause mental trauma to a recipient dependent on their underlying mental health. It leads to self doubt, loss of confidence, even depression or anger or others negative ideations. You have no idea when you ghost someone if you do what their mental state is and how harmful it can be.. It takes just a few seconds to be considerate of the emotional and mental well-being of the person you disconnecting from. " Wish more people would just politely respond with a tiny "thanks but no thanks" message and leave it there. They don't even have to click on any of the childish insults that get thrown their way from the upset and frustrated men either. But at least they made it clear where they both stand. | |||
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"Agreed but the simple helpful common courtesy of a message saying 'sorry but after all we/I am not feeling the vibe after all. Thanks for your interest and good luck ' takes seconds to write. It provides closure in a polite helpful way. Lack of closure in any connection with someone however superficial a relationship, can cause mental trauma to a recipient dependent on their underlying mental health. It leads to self doubt, loss of confidence, even depression or anger or others negative ideations. You have no idea when you ghost someone if you do what their mental state is and how harmful it can be.. It takes just a few seconds to be considerate of the emotional and mental well-being of the person you disconnecting from. Wish more people would just politely respond with a tiny "thanks but no thanks" message and leave it there. They don't even have to click on any of the childish insults that get thrown their way from the upset and frustrated men either. But at least they made it clear where they both stand." No reply is exactly that - a 'thanks but no thanks' without the time wasted in them typing and sending it and you opening and reading it. The outcome is identical. It may be one message to you, but if they have 10, 20 or 100 similar ones it's a tad unrealistic to expect them to spend ages sending a no thanks message just because some people seem to need some kind of closure from complete strangers who they've sent a message to. Send a message and forget about it til you get a response. It's waaaaay less stressful. | |||
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"He’s not talking consent, as his post says, couples who arrange meets and then ghost him. It’s happened a few times to me where I have cancelled plans and made them aware that I have, ready to set off in 2 mins after speaking for a week or a month or a few months and then no answer. " If people don't answer messages about their willingness to have sex with someone, there's no consent. Doesn't matter what effort is put into getting meets by anybody, they aren't owed anything by the person who walks away. | |||
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