FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > He’s torn my cunt.
He’s torn my cunt.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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Sitting down hurts.
Sneezing hurts.
Trying to have a poo hurts, and no bum sex was had.
Laughing hurts.
Wearing trousers or jeans hurts.
Bending down hurts.
So much pleasurable pain or so I tell myself.    |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?"
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle… |
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…"
"He's torn my cunt" is you trying to be subtle???! |
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By *eliWoman 44 weeks ago
. |
"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…
"He's torn my cunt" is you trying to be subtle???!"
It's the kind of subtle I can get behind. Good for you OP.  |
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"I want this put to music.
Everybody's thinking that he's torn my cunt
Torn my cunt
(boop boop)
Torn my cunt
I so nearly had that playing in my head to "Wheels on the bus", and it was magickal  "
I'm calling bollocks. It's I've got a song that'll get on yer nerves........ AND in pasquale's voice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…
"He's torn my cunt" is you trying to be subtle???!"
Trying. I didn’t give it a good go then?  |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"I know women this has happened to. And I hope you’re ok.
After the shock wore off, and the suture heals I’ll be okay. "
It happened to my fiancé recently after an MFM and she was in PAIN. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"I know women this has happened to. And I hope you’re ok.
After the shock wore off, and the suture heals I’ll be okay.
It happened to my fiancé recently after an MFM and she was in PAIN. "
It is painful. I hope your fiancé doesn’t suffer long and is on the mend soon. |
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"Fill a condom with water, stick it in the freezer.
Just remember to wrap in a tea towel or some such first, last thing you need is ice burns too..."
( ) ()
There is an alternative, I can't think what it might be but there's an alternative.
#icebucketchallenge |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"I imagine this is significantly more painful than tearing your banjo string.
Which having experienced once was not at all pleasurable.
Hugs to your vagina OP.  "
Hugs is what started it all. I’m abstaining from those! |
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By *bi HaiveMan 44 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I imagine this is significantly more painful than tearing your banjo string.
Which having experienced once was not at all pleasurable.
Hugs to your vagina OP.
Hugs is what started it all. I’m abstaining from those! "
Fuck!!! That's some cuddle power..... |
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"I want this put to music.
Only if you help me record it. It can become a top song of 2024. "
Lol. I could dance to it, but you'd need someone like Willy on the musical side. Not in my box of tricks .
Hope your vag radiates full joy internally and externally again soon  x |
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"I want this put to music.
Only if you help me record it. It can become a top song of 2024.
Lol. I could dance to it, but you'd need someone like Willy on the musical side. Not in my box of tricks .
Hope your vag radiates full joy internally and externally again soon x"
Leave me out of this thread |
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"I want this put to music.
Only if you help me record it. It can become a top song of 2024.
Lol. I could dance to it, but you'd need someone like Willy on the musical side. Not in my box of tricks .
Hope your vag radiates full joy internally and externally again soon x
Leave me out of this thread "
If ever a "no - I won't play here" meant its direct opposite, this is probably it  . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"I want this put to music.
Only if you help me record it. It can become a top song of 2024.
Lol. I could dance to it, but you'd need someone like Willy on the musical side. Not in my box of tricks .
Hope your vag radiates full joy internally and externally again soon x"
Well wishes well received on behalf of my vag. Thanks |
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Having experienced tearing from childbirth and surgery on the relevant area at a later date, it's not pleasant.
You can buy little hollow doughnut shaped inflatable cushions to sit on, which alleviate pressure from the perineum. Worth a few quid from an online retailer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Having experienced tearing from childbirth and surgery on the relevant area at a later date, it's not pleasant.
You can buy little hollow doughnut shaped inflatable cushions to sit on, which alleviate pressure from the perineum. Worth a few quid from an online retailer. "
Oh yes, the chemist called it the piles pillow but said it’s suitable for instances when piles aren’t the problem too as they alleviate pressure on the affected area. Lovely explanation she provided. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…"
About as subtle as a the brick which seems to have smashed in your fanny!!  |
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…"
You've been recovering in hospital?
Giving birth tore me, I don't want to experience that pain ever again.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…
About as subtle as a the brick which seems to have smashed in your fanny!! "
He is a brickie. Laying brick just so by some accounts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…
You've been recovering in hospital?
Giving birth tore me, I don't want to experience that pain ever again.
"
No birth was given. My birth canal has never been used for intended purposes. Yes, recovering. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…
About as subtle as a the brick which seems to have smashed in your fanny!!
He is a brickie. Laying brick just so by some accounts. "
Well he ain’t Bob the Builder or he would have fixed it!!
Well actually from the sounds of it he did in another way, I am sending you a virtual ice pack and ibuprofen. |
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"
Sitting down hurts.
Sneezing hurts.
Trying to have a poo hurts, and no bum sex was had.
Laughing hurts.
Wearing trousers or jeans hurts.
Bending down hurts.
So much pleasurable pain or so I tell myself. "
Owch … but sounded like fun  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…
About as subtle as a the brick which seems to have smashed in your fanny!!
He is a brickie. Laying brick just so by some accounts.
Well he ain’t Bob the Builder or he would have fixed it!!
Well actually from the sounds of it he did in another way, I am sending you a virtual ice pack and ibuprofen. "
I’m allergic to ibuprofen but thanks for the ice pack. I’ll virtually apply it to alleviate the pain virtually.
When he sees this thread he’s going to either be further embarrassed by the damaged he’s caused or proud. Not sure. He goes between the two. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…
About as subtle as a the brick which seems to have smashed in your fanny!!
He is a brickie. Laying brick just so by some accounts.
Well he ain’t Bob the Builder or he would have fixed it!!
Well actually from the sounds of it he did in another way, I am sending you a virtual ice pack and ibuprofen.
I’m allergic to ibuprofen but thanks for the ice pack. I’ll virtually apply it to alleviate the pain virtually.
When he sees this thread he’s going to either be further embarrassed by the damaged he’s caused or proud. Not sure. He goes between the two. "
If he’s anything like me he will be proud but also concerned.
A job well done but come at a price, enjoy the ice pack |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"BTW OP - congrats on winning thread title of the day.
Possibly the week.
Or even the year so far!!! "
It’s early days there are 49.5 more weeks of possibilities. Surely someone will top this |
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"BTW OP - congrats on winning thread title of the day.
Possibly the week.
Or even the year so far!!!
It’s early days there are 49.5 more weeks of possibilities. Surely someone will top this "
‘She cut off my cock!’ (Hopefully, I won’t be the author of this particular one though….) |
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"Fill a condom with water, stick it in the freezer.
Just remember to wrap in a tea towel or some such first, last thing you need is ice burns too...
() ()
There is an alternative, I can't think what it might be but there's an alternative.
#icebucketchallenge"
Or is that the icefuckitchallenge? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"BTW OP - congrats on winning thread title of the day.
Possibly the week.
Or even the year so far!!!
It’s early days there are 49.5 more weeks of possibilities. Surely someone will top this
‘She cut off my cock!’ (Hopefully, I won’t be the author of this particular one though….) "
It would be so much better if the OP of such thread was someone with the username Lorena Bobbit |
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"BTW OP - congrats on winning thread title of the day.
Possibly the week.
Or even the year so far!!! "
Yup. One good thread title can make your day.
But tearing your cunt - that can make your hole weak.
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"BTW OP - congrats on winning thread title of the day.
Possibly the week.
Or even the year so far!!!
Yup. One good thread title can make your day.
But tearing your cunt - that can make your hole weak.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"BTW OP - congrats on winning thread title of the day.
Possibly the week.
Or even the year so far!!!
Yup. One good thread title can make your day.
But tearing your cunt - that can make your hole weak.
"
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"
Sitting down hurts.
Sneezing hurts.
Trying to have a poo hurts, and no bum sex was had.
Laughing hurts.
Wearing trousers or jeans hurts.
Bending down hurts.
So much pleasurable pain or so I tell myself. "
Sorry about that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Sounds like a shit lover to me. I've gad two cocks up there at the same time and not be torn open"
Thankfully no shit was involved in this.
Not all of us can accommodate two cocks, but happy to hear you can. My compliments to you and your happy cunt that can enjoy that. |
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My condolences on your torn bits and congratulations that you had that much fun. Ice will help but be careful with your tear until it’s properly healed so it doesnt keep splitting.
Wonfer if they sell fanny chapsticks? Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"My condolences on your torn bits and congratulations that you had that much fun. Ice will help but be careful with your tear until it’s properly healed so it doesnt keep splitting.
Wonfer if they sell fanny chapsticks? Xx"
Indeed they do. There’s an entire range of cunt tearing and swelling relief products. Mostly for post childbirth but does the trick even when it’s a cock that’s caused the tearing. Or so I’ve heard. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 44 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"My condolences on your torn bits and congratulations that you had that much fun. Ice will help but be careful with your tear until it’s properly healed so it doesnt keep splitting.
Wonfer if they sell fanny chapsticks? Xx"
Think I went to school with her.  |
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"My condolences on your torn bits and congratulations that you had that much fun. Ice will help but be careful with your tear until it’s properly healed so it doesnt keep splitting.
Wonfer if they sell fanny chapsticks? Xx
Indeed they do. There’s an entire range of cunt tearing and swelling relief products. Mostly for post childbirth but does the trick even when it’s a cock that’s caused the tearing. Or so I’ve heard. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Get some “Spritz my bits”
Ladies use it after giving birth
Spritz your bits when he splits your bits.... "
I had a laugh reading this. Made my bits hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Hope you don’t need stitches, sex injuries are always interesting to explain at the hospital "
It was more difficult to go into the hospital a week ago, than to explain the reason for my injuries.
The London Clinic was no easy place to enter. You’d think someone important was a patient there. |
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"My condolences on your torn bits and congratulations that you had that much fun. Ice will help but be careful with your tear until it’s properly healed so it doesnt keep splitting.
Wonfer if they sell fanny chapsticks? Xx"
I read that as “Fanny chopsticks” I think that’s the last thing OP needs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Oooooouch. I tore a bit giving birth, the injection just after was much worse and that was soon after delivery. Hoping you didn't have to go through that!"
An injection?! |
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"Oooooouch. I tore a bit giving birth, the injection just after was much worse and that was soon after delivery. Hoping you didn't have to go through that!
An injection?! "
To numb the area before cobbling one's nether regions back together. Very common on labour wards - you squeeze out the baby; tear all your bits (in this scenario); they jab you with local anaesthetic and then someone goes to work with a darning needle. Or, in my case, they decide they CBA fixing it, then things go wrong in the future.
Patching women up post birth is pretty brutal. Of course, not everyone requires it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Oooooouch. I tore a bit giving birth, the injection just after was much worse and that was soon after delivery. Hoping you didn't have to go through that!
An injection?!
To numb the area before cobbling one's nether regions back together. Very common on labour wards - you squeeze out the baby; tear all your bits (in this scenario); they jab you with local anaesthetic and then someone goes to work with a darning needle. Or, in my case, they decide they CBA fixing it, then things go wrong in the future.
Patching women up post birth is pretty brutal. Of course, not everyone requires it. "
Oh dear!
They used a topical anaesthetic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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"Must’ve been a hard rough fuck lol
Get well soon!
There’s rough, and there’s Bella rough. The latter scares most people.
Hmm now that sounds very interesting lol "
Does it?  |
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"Sounds like a shit lover to me. I've gad two cocks up there at the same time and not be torn open"
Imagine your great great mam came back to the future and read this... Her face will be torn from the shock |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"A ex girlfriend ripped her clit will a ex
Had to be sewn back together
Didn’t have that problem with me a half the size
But what a great bragging story for the ex! "
I cannot imagine having your clit ripped, unless caught on piercings? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"A ex girlfriend ripped her clit will a ex
Had to be sewn back together
Didn’t have that problem with me a half the size
But what a great bragging story for the ex!
I cannot imagine having your clit ripped, unless caught on piercings? "
The first person I ever met off here tore my VCH piercing once during sex. That, miraculously, healed quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Was thinking of sending a get well soon hamper how’s your kitty now OP? is she back purring & ready to play again?"
I'm back in the saddle again
I'm back
Peelin' off my boots and chaps, I'm saddle sore
I scream for more
The girl is soaking wet
I'm ridin', I really got a fistful
I'm ridin', I'm shinin' up my saddle
I'm ridin', his snake is gonna rattle
I'm back
Ridin' high
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"Wtf?
See, I was gone for a week and I received so many messages that I thought it would easier to post a message than reply to everyone about my whereabouts.
I was trying to be subtle…"
Ohhh I think you cracked subtle lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Is it time for the surgeon? Maybe even the cuntsultant?"
The cuntsultant has been in. He even read this entire thread today and laughed loads.
Told me to get back to riding. Soon. |
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"Is it time for the surgeon? Maybe even the cuntsultant?
The cuntsultant has been in. He even read this entire thread today and laughed loads.
Told me to get back to riding. Soon. "
Horses, men, or both? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Is it time for the surgeon? Maybe even the cuntsultant?
The cuntsultant has been in. He even read this entire thread today and laughed loads.
Told me to get back to riding. Soon.
Horses, men, or both? "
Oh, The Glory Of Man And Horse
Oh, the glory of the charge!
Man and horse to battle
Never an army too large
To stand in their way
Man and horse to conquer
Battling wind and rains
To tame the far, far west
Man and horse to test
Over the hot, dry land
To try their strength
Oh, the glory of the race!
Man and horse to run
Galloping a fearsome pace
To win that golden cunt
|
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"Is it time for the surgeon? Maybe even the cuntsultant?
The cuntsultant has been in. He even read this entire thread today and laughed loads.
Told me to get back to riding. Soon.
Horses, men, or both?
Oh, The Glory Of Man And Horse
Oh, the glory of the charge!
Man and horse to battle
Never an army too large
To stand in their way
Man and horse to conquer
Battling wind and rains
To tame the far, far west
Man and horse to test
Over the hot, dry land
To try their strength
Oh, the glory of the race!
Man and horse to run
Galloping a fearsome pace
To win that golden cunt
"
.
The last line makes it xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 42 weeks ago
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"Is it time for the surgeon? Maybe even the cuntsultant?
The cuntsultant has been in. He even read this entire thread today and laughed loads.
Told me to get back to riding. Soon.
Horses, men, or both?
Oh, The Glory Of Man And Horse
Oh, the glory of the charge!
Man and horse to battle
Never an army too large
To stand in their way
Man and horse to conquer
Battling wind and rains
To tame the far, far west
Man and horse to test
Over the hot, dry land
To try their strength
Oh, the glory of the race!
Man and horse to run
Galloping a fearsome pace
To win that golden cunt
.
The last line makes it xxxx"
I worked extra diligently to get this just perfect. Bore you throughout most of it, and surprise it in the last seconds. Results! |
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