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Maslow's hierarchy
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You will be talking hertzberg next
Yea sex is an animal instinct so runs along equal with food and shelter
Mind you i would skip a meal for a good shagging  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reckon most people are stuck on the bottom level. Or they like to appear that way.
For some, sex will be on every level... They'll just never reach the top. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"You will be talking hertzberg next
Yea sex is an animal instinct so runs along equal with food and shelter
Mind you i would skip a meal for a good shagging "
I would, depending on the meal...and the comparison to the man |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I reckon most people are stuck on the bottom level. Or they like to appear that way.
For some, sex will be on every level... They'll just never reach the top. "
Scarlet, once again you got me in one. That is what I was pondering about.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reckon most people are stuck on the bottom level. Or they like to appear that way.
For some, sex will be on every level... They'll just never reach the top.
Scarlet, once again you got me in one. That is what I was pondering about. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers? "
Yes, I agree with the above and its presence (or absence) in each level is definitely something which is determined on an individual basis.
Indeed, I suspect for some people into swinging that the sex feeds into basic needs (the psychological). For some, the need becomes more about self-esteem.
I would also postulate that for some, a sense of belonging is fed by their participation in the forums as well.
In Maslow terms, separating sex, swinging and my sense of self-esteem is one of the things I've spent a lot of time working on myself.
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"My friend teaches ptlls and if sex was on every level think the course by be a bit more interesting lol"
I love that... really do!
PS PTLLS - Preparing to teach in lifelong sector? |
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"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers? "
I disagree with the last bit, to some sex is just sex, nothing more and nothing less |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Surprised no ones brought up pavlov and why dogs dribble to the sound of a Bell
Because not everyone will know who maslow is or pavlov is. I do because i studied them but maybe not everyone did"
I was under the impression he was well known. But then there are many topics I know little about. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers?
I disagree with the last bit, to some sex is just sex, nothing more and nothing less"
I can agree to that - it would not be for me but I can agree that some do and that is their right. Each to their own. |
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"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers?
I disagree with the last bit, to some sex is just sex, nothing more and nothing lessI can agree to that - it would not be for me but I can agree that some do and that is their right. Each to their own. "
So when you have sex with various people discounting your partner through the swinging scene are these encounters more than just about having sex and a good time and mutual fun?
Just curious to know as for me that is what it is about, joint and mutual fun and nothing else |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers?
I disagree with the last bit, to some sex is just sex, nothing more and nothing lessI can agree to that - it would not be for me but I can agree that some do and that is their right. Each to their own.
So when you have sex with various people discounting your partner through the swinging scene are these encounters more than just about having sex and a good time and mutual fun?
Just curious to know as for me that is what it is about, joint and mutual fun and nothing else"
Good and justified question. First of all my bark is a lot worse than my bite in as much as I rarely meet to play. And that is because for me there has to be so much more than a good body or a nice smile etc. I need a mental connection and for me that comes through getting to know the person a bit, being on a similar wave length etc. Interestingly my partner feels the same about his meets.
So for me, even a one night stand would have to satisfy more criteria than just sex if that makes sense? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Sex with love has a different dimension from sex for sex sake. The orgasm feels the same in both but affection is an added sensation with some one you love, don't you think? "
I think I would disagree that the orgasms are the same and that is not because the person you love knows what buttons to press.
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"Sex with love has a different dimension from sex for sex sake. The orgasm feels the same in both but affection is an added sensation with some one you love, don't you think? I think I would disagree that the orgasms are the same and that is not because the person you love knows what buttons to press. "
I think that's the build that's better in a loving relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers?
I disagree with the last bit, to some sex is just sex, nothing more and nothing lessI can agree to that - it would not be for me but I can agree that some do and that is their right. Each to their own.
So when you have sex with various people discounting your partner through the swinging scene are these encounters more than just about having sex and a good time and mutual fun?
Just curious to know as for me that is what it is about, joint and mutual fun and nothing elseGood and justified question. First of all my bark is a lot worse than my bite in as much as I rarely meet to play. And that is because for me there has to be so much more than a good body or a nice smile etc. I need a mental connection and for me that comes through getting to know the person a bit, being on a similar wave length etc. Interestingly my partner feels the same about his meets.
So for me, even a one night stand would have to satisfy more criteria than just sex if that makes sense? "
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But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
"
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Surprised no ones brought up pavlov and why dogs dribble to the sound of a Bell
there you go,you just did.
ahhh shit!! please tell me it's got to be a bell  "
Bell end would do nicely;-) |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it. "
There's a need for an attraction needed for many of us to enjoy sex with someone. Not all need it, |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it. "
There's a need for an attraction needed for many of us to enjoy sex with someone. Not all need it, |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
There's a need for an attraction needed for many of us to enjoy sex with someone. Not all need it, "
Do we believe at base level it's just an instinct? |
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"
There's a need for an attraction needed for many of us to enjoy sex with someone. Not all need it, "
agree totally we do need the attraction .. most guys we meet with are long term so it has to be able to work on a social/friendship basis at the same time |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Bell end would do nicely;-)
And what level would that be getting you to?"
At level 1 - it could be used to fill the need for procreation
Level 2 - Security of body (of cock)
Level 3 - Part of sexual intimacy
Level 4 - Achievement (on his part)
Level 5 - Acceptance of facts (there is another part attached to it)
Oh bollocks....;-) |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
There's a need for an attraction needed for many of us to enjoy sex with someone. Not all need it,
agree totally we do need the attraction .. most guys we meet with are long term so it has to be able to work on a social/friendship basis at the same time "
That is exactly what I meant |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it. "
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site? |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site? "
Of course, good friendships exist on this site |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site? "
It possibly a bit more complicated. I guess the need to be wanted/ accepted/ loved at some level... yes, I do believe that our vanity (in want of a better word) does make us susceptible of including other levels. But it is subtle - we may not be aware of all that.
We do become acutely aware I feel when things go wrong. For example when two people meet on here, one falls in love and the other does not feel the same way. It is then that the different levels are experienced. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
Of course, good friendships exist on this site"
I agree with that statement |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
Of course, good friendships exist on this site"
Fair point. But what about a random 1 off meet? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
Of course, good friendships exist on this site
Fair point. But what about a random 1 off meet?"
It is possible I think for some people. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
Of course, good friendships exist on this site
Fair point. But what about a random 1 off meet?"
For that, I would say a swinger would be in all but 1 level..... Love/belonging would have no place in that level |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
Of course, good friendships exist on this site
Fair point. But what about a random 1 off meet?
For that, I would say a swinger would be in all but 1 level..... Love/belonging would have no place in that level"
I agree with that. |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
It possibly a bit more complicated. I guess the need to be wanted/ accepted/ loved at some level... yes, I do believe that our vanity (in want of a better word) does make us susceptible of including other levels. But it is subtle - we may not be aware of all that.
We do become acutely aware I feel when things go wrong. For example when two people meet on here, one falls in love and the other does not feel the same way. It is then that the different levels are experienced."
Theres always a risk of miss matching of level in any relationship. It often happens its not exclusive to a sit like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site? "
I think for a short period of time they can be  |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
It possibly a bit more complicated. I guess the need to be wanted/ accepted/ loved at some level... yes, I do believe that our vanity (in want of a better word) does make us susceptible of including other levels. But it is subtle - we may not be aware of all that.
We do become acutely aware I feel when things go wrong. For example when two people meet on here, one falls in love and the other does not feel the same way. It is then that the different levels are experienced."
I would say that example is just a fact of life and human behaviour. Maybe amplified because of a more intense situation of meeting as swingers? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
It possibly a bit more complicated. I guess the need to be wanted/ accepted/ loved at some level... yes, I do believe that our vanity (in want of a better word) does make us susceptible of including other levels. But it is subtle - we may not be aware of all that.
We do become acutely aware I feel when things go wrong. For example when two people meet on here, one falls in love and the other does not feel the same way. It is then that the different levels are experienced.
Theres always a risk of miss matching of level in any relationship. It often happens its not exclusive to a sit like this "
Absolutely not, you are right. It is just when people meet on a dating site, I believe most of those would be looking consciously at looking for the love/ relationship thing. They might get disappointed when they come across a swinger in disguise... and it DOES happen.
In here, sometimes people get disappointed when they find a friend/ soulmate or even lover and this is not reciprocated! That is probably the difference? |
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"But Maslows levels are not fixed and the base needs run throughout each level therefore sex is an integral part of all the levels. His theory is that you have to satisfy the lower level basic needs in order to progress to the next level and so on till you reach self actualisation but a person can fluctuate up and down the levels depending on what's happening in their life at the time.
Absolutely!! I guess I was really asking the question who would look for meets based on just the physical side and who would be looking for more. My argument is that in some way even those who just look for sex often, not always, satisfy other needs without perhaps thinking about it.
Are you suggesting that emotional needs can be met through meeting on this site?
It possibly a bit more complicated. I guess the need to be wanted/ accepted/ loved at some level... yes, I do believe that our vanity (in want of a better word) does make us susceptible of including other levels. But it is subtle - we may not be aware of all that.
We do become acutely aware I feel when things go wrong. For example when two people meet on here, one falls in love and the other does not feel the same way. It is then that the different levels are experienced.
Theres always a risk of miss matching of level in any relationship. It often happens its not exclusive to a sit like this Absolutely not, you are right. It is just when people meet on a dating site, I believe most of those would be looking consciously at looking for the love/ relationship thing. They might get disappointed when they come across a swinger in disguise... and it DOES happen.
In here, sometimes people get disappointed when they find a friend/ soulmate or even lover and this is not reciprocated! That is probably the difference? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes."
Dont you dare pulling this one out prematurely again....;-)
Yep I agree with that completely. |
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"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes."
Considering this perspective, which in truth is not too far away from my own. Do we have the main reason for so many people arranging meets and then cancelling? |
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"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes.
Considering this perspective, which in truth is not too far away from my own. Do we have the main reason for so many people arranging meets and then cancelling? "
Not saying anyone posting in here is a culprit for cancelling meets...... |
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"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes."
Understand those feelings |
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"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes."
couldn't agree more .. we have had a number of longstanding 3somes over the years and had the odd one offs .. to be honest I struggle to remember the names of the odd one offs .. relationships on any level need to be on a 3 dimensional basis for me to fully engage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes.
Dont you dare pulling this one out prematurely again....;-)
Yep I agree with that completely. "
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! |
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"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes.
couldn't agree more .. we have had a number of longstanding 3somes over the years and had the odd one offs .. to be honest I struggle to remember the names of the odd one offs .. relationships on any level need to be on a 3 dimensional basis for me to fully engage "
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes.
Considering this perspective, which in truth is not too far away from my own. Do we have the main reason for so many people arranging meets and then cancelling? "
Good question! I dont know, there are probably more reasons for people cancelling including the very genuine ones of being ill etc.
But perhaps you have a point... that soemtimes people are kind of excited about the prospect of a meet and then, on reflection wonder whether it really will meet their needs. Again, this processing is probably largely unconscious. All people will "feel" is an element of unease, boredom ....? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes.
Dont you dare pulling this one out prematurely again....;-)
Yep I agree with that completely.
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! "
Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction |
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"Over the years, I've tried the random one-off's, the one nighters and it doesn't meet even basic needs with me which couldn't be met with a hand shandy to some internet porn.
In fact in some respects I found it damaged my self esteem and was emotionally unsatisfying.
So for me, I need something more than that. A connection on more than just a physical level. Some of the best times I've had have been in committed threesomes / foursomes.
Considering this perspective, which in truth is not too far away from my own. Do we have the main reason for so many people arranging meets and then cancelling? Good question! I dont know, there are probably more reasons for people cancelling including the very genuine ones of being ill etc.
But perhaps you have a point... that soemtimes people are kind of excited about the prospect of a meet and then, on reflection wonder whether it really will meet their needs. Again, this processing is probably largely unconscious. All people will "feel" is an element of unease, boredom ....? "
Absolutely, it is probably an unconscious process |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There'll be people of course that function perfectly well in their own world, swapping, cucking, BDSMing and much more, never having ever considered they fit someone else's idea of what a theory might look like.
A fine example of this musicology. Mozart's music can be analysed in a myriad of different technical ways. But when he wrote it, he just wrote it.
Sometimes, contemplating one's navel is not the best use of one's time.
Sorry not to be existential enough x |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Although I don't know, a one off must often feel no different from sex with a prostitute where no relationship is expected ? "
Maybe there is a difference between the male and female perspectives? Just wondering.
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"Although I don't know, a one off must often feel no different from sex with a prostitute where no relationship is expected ? Maybe there is a difference between the male and female perspectives? Just wondering."
There is a difference for many |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"There'll be people of course that function perfectly well in their own world, swapping, cucking, BDSMing and much more, never having ever considered they fit someone else's idea of what a theory might look like.
A fine example of this musicology. Mozart's music can be analysed in a myriad of different technical ways. But when he wrote it, he just wrote it.
Sometimes, contemplating one's navel is not the best use of one's time.
Sorry not to be existential enough x"
No problem. But you mentioned Mozart - and when he wrote it...
Well I d argue that when Mozart (pr in fact any composer) wrote a piece of music there are several complex processes at work and it would not be nessarily just putting a c sharp followed by a g, a modulation or change of tempo or whatever as they look different on paper. They (the composers) have / had something in mind... we sadly dont have the luxury of knowing unless they let us in? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?"
lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now |
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"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now "
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think? "
What an interesting question.. I ll think about that one. |
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"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think? "
Like a cuddle afterwards?  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think?
Like a cuddle afterwards? "
Is that "cuddle afterwards" perceived to be more of a woman's need? Just being curious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There'll be people of course that function perfectly well in their own world, swapping, cucking, BDSMing and much more, never having ever considered they fit someone else's idea of what a theory might look like.
A fine example of this musicology. Mozart's music can be analysed in a myriad of different technical ways. But when he wrote it, he just wrote it.
Sometimes, contemplating one's navel is not the best use of one's time.
Sorry not to be existential enough xNo problem. But you mentioned Mozart - and when he wrote it...
Well I'd argue that when Mozart (pr in fact any composer) wrote a piece of music there are several complex processes at work and it would not be nessarily just putting a c sharp followed by a g, a modulation or change of tempo or whatever as they look different on paper. They (the composers) have / had something in mind... we sadly dont have the luxury of knowing unless they let us in? "
The reason for this being a fine example is because the theories and analysis that exist now were not around then. It's new! To expand on Wolfgang, he was an inventor.
I would argue then, we live in a world now that can't seem to comprehend sometimes we just do things. It's a strange concept, given that we are surrounded by factors suggesting to us all things are justified.
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"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think?
Like a cuddle afterwards? Is that "cuddle afterwards" perceived to be more of a woman's need? Just being curious."
I was just being sarcastic! |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think?
Like a cuddle afterwards? Is that "cuddle afterwards" perceived to be more of a woman's need? Just being curious.
I was just being sarcastic! "
How very dare you |
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"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think?
Like a cuddle afterwards? Is that "cuddle afterwards" perceived to be more of a woman's need? Just being curious.
I was just being sarcastic! How very dare you "
I can't help it. So in your opinion what does a woman need from a male prostitute? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think?
Like a cuddle afterwards? Is that "cuddle afterwards" perceived to be more of a woman's need? Just being curious.
I was just being sarcastic! How very dare you
I can't help it. So in your opinion what does a woman need from a male prostitute?"
I really really would not know. It is not something I would seek - not because of ethical considerations but because of what I said earlier, my need to have more than level 1 satisfaction if that makes sense/ And you would not get that within the short "acquaintance" of an escort. |
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"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think?
Like a cuddle afterwards? Is that "cuddle afterwards" perceived to be more of a woman's need? Just being curious."
Certainly not, but I was thinking that a woman doesn't get satisfaction as a man does as in a quick shag.. Dies that make sense? |
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"
No Ma'am - Im not pulling out this time. Im going all the way with this one! Back to said bell end... at last I am getting some satisfaction
And still typing in here at the same time?lol... I am trying to process all the good points put forward here.. and each seem to have a validity in their own right. I think I ll shut up for now
I'm wondering if a woman were to visit a male prostitute she would expect more than a man expects from a female prostitute.. What do you think?
Like a cuddle afterwards? Is that "cuddle afterwards" perceived to be more of a woman's need? Just being curious.
Certainly not, but I was thinking that a woman doesn't get satisfaction as a man does as in a quick shag.. Dies that make sense? "
Ha ha my phone thinks it knows best as well |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers? "
Bugger Maslow. There's a man who never got laid! Sex is high on my list of needs. |
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"of human needs. The bottom layer is about stuff like food, water,sleep and sex etc.
I d argue that for some sex belongs into more than one and higher levels.... Sex can also be about love, self-esteem and self actualisation. Any takers?
Bugger Maslow. There's a man who never got laid! Sex is high on my list of needs."
But that was the badis of Maslows theory that it is high on the list of needs hence it was in the basic level of need so as such without sexual needs being met then you can't rise to the higher levels. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maslows hierarchy of needs was developed by studying 21 people who he thought had achieved self actualization. His premise that lower needs have to be met before achieving other needs can be argumented to.be flawed as his theories are based on his own subjective observations.
Upon saying that, the theory, if nothing pelse, certainly does incite thought provocing debate.
Now, does swinging satisfy those hierarchy of needs? Well that depends on the individual and what they are personally looking for when swinging. For some its more physiological, ie 'Fuck and go' scinario. Others are looking for a more social need, ie friendship and belonging to a social group. It could be for some praise and recognition and certainly from a male prospective, ego! As for Self-actualization. Well that's a thought provocing one. My assumption is that any activity in life will result in personal growth and self-actulisation.
For example, If we look at the hight turnover of subscribers to this site. Some people stay on the site because they enjoy the lifestyle, others leave becauce they don't like the swinging scene. What ever the outcome, the very fact they have made a decision shows they have reached the hierarchy of Maslow's needs.
I take my hat off to you Aphrodite, for coming up with a academic thread. LOL
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Querida - sorry for not quoting all of your post and possibly doing you an injustice but what I liked most was this as that reflects best what I think:
Some people stay on the site because they enjoy the lifestyle, others leave becauce they don't like the swinging scene. What ever the outcome, the very fact they have made a decision shows they have reached the hierarchy of Maslow's needs. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
And to all other posters Thanks for posting on what some might see as a "heavy" topic for a Sunday night - I was curious about people's views and I got a lot out of this thread. Thanks again to all who conributed |
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"And to all other posters Thanks for posting on what some might see as a "heavy" topic for a Sunday night - I was curious about people's views and I got a lot out of this thread. Thanks again to all who conributed "
Ok maybe not heavy but thought provoking for a Sunday night, but as always something to mull over |
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