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Your life. - In a nutshell
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So for everyone who likes to know somebody before they will jump in bed with them , why not tell them a little bit about yourself in this thread
Go on, tell me your short story. Who are you? 
*i’m open to genres. Romance, horror, mystery…  have fun. X |
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The stork brought me to earth in a small basket whereupon the evil King Herod, hearing of my arrival, promptly ordered my execution.
Luckily the stick of Krytonite in my cradle protected me from harm.
And we all lived happily ever after  |
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I'm that working middle class bracket. Ok so my mum had a horse but fuck me all the money went on that asshole rather than me.
I worked since 15, as a waiter..I was pretty shit. anyone that can carry more than 2 plates at a time, you're better than most.
Went to uni, partied hard, had chat, got laid, played in bands, got a job, moved to the big smoke, got laid.
Voila |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
bedlington |
Pretty fucking boring to be honest
Name John, work for myself installing drives,patios ect.
Live with my two sons (one is actually the exes son but I just say sons to save on words) and half my daughter joint custody and my dog haha
Like going to the gym, going out getting smashed every now and then but like nights in with a Chinese and film on the telly mostly |
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I am a Little bird with a smart mouth and a quicker brain.
I love passion and hate bullies but I’m ok with most other things.
My favourite movie is Con Air and my best party trick is fitting my fist in my mouth.
The movie of my life would be X Rated, too long and absolutely bonkers. Genre: Noir
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a country girl, wife, mum and business owner.
My motto in life is work hard, play harder.
I love sex, with men and women. Sex is amazing, sex is awesome, sex is the one activity in life that I could not live without.
Orgasms...at least one a day please, every day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll not be too serious on this
My life has been short (relatively compared to you lot) but it’s not been without lessons. And I guess it makes me as or more experienced than many. Life has made me hard. But people like hard in this life so I hear. I don’t need anyone to make me soft, just enjoy the hard me while he’s here (before therapy takes him away   ) |
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I was borned on a Tuesday at 11.45pm. Think that’s why I’m a night owl.
I’m not actually an owl.
Do you know what is the most common owl in the uk? The Teet. Yup.
Parents are distant royals but I’ve distanced the distance.
Most boring, unremarkable childhood ever and I hated it. Didn’t like my family or anything we did but I had some good friends and that was my saviour.
Wasn’t homework shit?
Didn’t work out what women were for until late in life and I’m now making up for it.
Never married or had kids.
No good relationships so far. I just want to love and fancy someone as much as they love and fancy me.
Travelled lots for work but after 22 years I’m settled back in the Home Counties where one belongs.
Supremely high standards where it matters.
Outrageous snob of the highest order.
Fab is fun and a great distraction from everyday life.
Sex is awesome but comes second to intimacy.
Life in a nutshell? The first 47 years fit in a hazelnut. The second 47 will be my coconut.
Which is odd because I hate coconut. |
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"I was borned on a Tuesday at 11.45pm. Think that’s why I’m a night owl.
I’m not actually an owl.
Do you know what is the most common owl in the uk? The Teet. Yup.
Parents are distant royals but I’ve distanced the distance.
Most boring, unremarkable childhood ever and I hated it. Didn’t like my family or anything we did but I had some good friends and that was my saviour.
Wasn’t homework shit?
Didn’t work out what women were for until late in life and I’m now making up for it.
Never married or had kids.
No good relationships so far. I just want to love and fancy someone as much as they love and fancy me.
Travelled lots for work but after 22 years I’m settled back in the Home Counties where one belongs.
Supremely high standards where it matters.
Outrageous snob of the highest order.
Fab is fun and a great distraction from everyday life.
Sex is awesome but comes second to intimacy.
Life in a nutshell? The first 47 years fit in a hazelnut. The second 47 will be my coconut.
Which is odd because I hate coconut."
This actually made me chuckle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wake up, work, gym, work some more, eat, sleep ad infinitum
You forgot your fantasy about being double-cougared
Only on weekends 
Whilst piledriving Krispy Kreme? "
Who's she? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think about sex too much
Semi retired
Never had days sick pay in life
Never been unemployed
Self employed most life
Too quiet boring to some
Got this marriage thing wrong twice
Love Been in a relationship
Love my 4x4 and my bmw
Don't want a electric car
Love escaping to fab.
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C’s life was full of woe and ugly people and then along came Prince Charming, the man of her dreams…
…then after he left, I met her
She’s now had sex with more people whilst with me, than she had the rest of her life before me.
Not sure what says about me 
Anyway she’s living happily ever after…
K |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I read about the George Best quote at an early age and followed that as my mantra with one exception " I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars and squandered the rest " he included booze but I stayed away from that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A child of the early 80's, raised unconventionally in the least well-known of the Yorkshire Dales by a hippie mother and an ex-legionnaire step-father (If you ever need help surviving in a postapocalyptic world I'm your saviour).
I rebelled by going to uni, choosing a middle class husband, moving to a small town, then getting divorced. All that wasn't enough, so I joined Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So for everyone who likes to know somebody before they will jump in bed with them , why not tell them a little bit about yourself in this thread
Go on, tell me your short story. Who are you?
*i’m open to genres. Romance, horror, mystery… have fun. X"
Southerner now up north.
My day is
33.3% work
33.3% parenting
The other 34% is sleep and artist endeavours.
There is no short form for the life story |
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Just your average, common or garden intergalactic Sex God of War and Destruction.
We're pretty boring people really - discussed that at the last conference.
Some left the Guild and took up topiary afterwards. |
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I'm just an old school Yorkshireman ,I was brought up to call a spade a spade, I'm outspoken, speak my mind and say what i think.
I'm over 50 ,and I'm from a generation that has no time for all this PC, woke, diverse garbage that has suddenly becone "trendy " these days ,(I'm happy to leave that to those in their 20's who have have been brainwashed in university ).
.
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"Sat at the bus stop of life, waiting for the route 87 bus of death, wondering if the milk in the fridge is ok or I should’ve got more. "
Is it definitely the 87?
I’ve been waiting for the wrong damned bus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sat at the bus stop of life, waiting for the route 87 bus of death, wondering if the milk in the fridge is ok or I should’ve got more.
Is it definitely the 87?
I’ve been waiting for the wrong damned bus."
It could be the 69 (choking hazard) but I suspect that is more accidental than scheduled. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sat at the bus stop of life, waiting for the route 87 bus of death, wondering if the milk in the fridge is ok or I should’ve got more. "
I think my bus that I’m waiting for has stopped running. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sat at the bus stop of life, waiting for the route 87 bus of death, wondering if the milk in the fridge is ok or I should’ve got more.
I think my bus that I’m waiting for has stopped running. "
Are you claiming immortality? Cause that should go on your profile surely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sat at the bus stop of life, waiting for the route 87 bus of death, wondering if the milk in the fridge is ok or I should’ve got more.
I think my bus that I’m waiting for has stopped running.
Are you claiming immortality? Cause that should go on your profile surely. "
I think I’ve hit the text limit on my profile. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I’m called Skynbyrd cause I skinned someone’s bird… maybe.
I will never forgive you…
But you can’t stay mad at me either cause I do wonderful things to you too. Xx"
you love leonard skynard more like |
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"I’m called Skynbyrd cause I skinned someone’s bird… maybe.
I will never forgive you…
But you can’t stay mad at me either cause I do wonderful things to you too. Xxyou love leonard skynard more like "
Fred, a skin bird is a woman who shaves her head. |
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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
Scottish born and bred, raised in the countryside by an incredible mother, wild hearted, care free and sarcastic as hell.
Began dancing at the age of two, trained to a professional level, travelled to London to work in west end musicals, spent a year in America teaching dance and a summer in Ibiza that almost broke me.
Now own my own dance/fitness class business and by day I’m a PA (glorified secretary in the finance sector)
I’ve a lust for life and love being silly, if you can’t act like a twat for humour purposes jog on
Laughter is the key to life x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain..."
That’s sounds like Flash Gordon. |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain...
That’s sounds like Flash Gordon. "
Loosing any geek-cred Woody  |
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain...
That’s sounds like Flash Gordon.
Loosing any geek-cred Woody "
To be fair he's geeky savvy enough to know it's sci fi |
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