Oi Oi good folks 
Yes indeedy, this is your golden opportunity to compose a verification all for yourself! The more humorous the better!
I’ll start you all off to give you the gist:
‘Sensual lover turned up two hours late and it quickly became apparent from his inept social skills that the guy would likely struggle to find his own arse with both hands and a flashlight.
I won’t even mention the subsequent lacklustre sex but suffice to say I’m not even sure he’d ever seen a vagina before our encounter. Anyhoo, treat him with respect - he’s a real keeper ‘
Over to you now my fine people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolute catfish, fat, rolled over and went to sleep after round one, her boobs have deflated and when squeezed sound like Wheezy from Toy Story. Don't have her drive to you, her car breaks every time and its french. Wouldn't take her out in public and she definitely needs a ballgag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bella was late, as usual, and definitely wasn't worth it. Cost a fortune to get her home in a taxi. Good job she paid for it herself. "
Man I wish i could say this is unfounded  |
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"Bella was late, as usual, and definitely wasn't worth it. Cost a fortune to get her home in a taxi. Good job she paid for it herself.
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Man I wish i could say this is unfounded "
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I was going to remark, but you got there before me!  It's a cringe-worthy parable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Racy turned up on time but I didn't, she's a good gurl though so she was more than happy to wait for my presence. I thought I shouldn't make her wait any longer so I treated her pussy to 45 seconds of camel licking heaven, I even spit on it like a vandal. I then bent her over in front of mirror so I could admire what a fucking man I am and her face as I was giving her the best cock she'd ever had. WHOS HER DADDY! Cum all inside and bred her, she'll be pregnant by morning. Of course she will want to see me again, I'll see if I can fit her in. Seriously though guys, top lass treat her with respeckta. |
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"Absolute catfish, fat, rolled over and went to sleep after round one, her boobs have deflated and when squeezed sound like Wheezy from Toy Story. Don't have her drive to you, her car breaks every time and its french. Wouldn't take her out in public and she definitely needs a ballgag."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Solid 4/10 for effort, but the insistence on shouting Geronimo! Every time he came was off putting for me and the other people there. Weirdest Bukkake ever. |
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I was delivering from Asda. She answered the door bare-assed, led me into her kitchen, then proceeded to get down on all fours. Her p*** as wide as a milk pail but any hole’s a goal so I spunked all over her and the groceries. Not a word was exchanged. Afterwards, she made me a cup of tea. |
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"Racy turned up on time but I didn't, she's a good gurl though so she was more than happy to wait for my presence. I thought I shouldn't make her wait any longer so I treated her pussy to 45 seconds of camel licking heaven, I even spit on it like a vandal. I then bent her over in front of mirror so I could admire what a fucking man I am and her face as I was giving her the best cock she'd ever had. WHOS HER DADDY! Cum all inside and bred her, she'll be pregnant by morning. Of course she will want to see me again, I'll see if I can fit her in. Seriously though guys, top lass treat her with respeckta. "
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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago
Paper Town Central, Essex. |
Met up at a cosplay evening. Thought he'd come as Quasimodo, but he thought it was come as you are. Drank Bells Whisky all night and found he was more than a little deaf. His hearts in the tight place though. Somewhere around his stomach.
Always acted the real gentleman though.
A great person to have around.... if only to keep the flies off you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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JoeBeans turned up perfectly on time and presentable. I had hoped that we could have a drink and see where it led but a 15min drink turned into an hour chat leaving me thinking "are we actually going to have sex or what?" Despite my best efforts, he was totally oblivious to my flirting simply laughed thinking I was just being nice! What I thought would be a steamy night of hot sex turned into just a social! I shaved my legs and wore matching underwear for nothing! Ladies, good luck getting this one into bed   |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
Don't bother with this one. She is arsey as fuck; rarely replies to messages on Fab because she can't manage her inbox to save her life and when she does you can't pin her down for a meet as she's always swanning about somewhere. Complete time waster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Visited jack's house and his toilet did match the one in his cock pics, and his toilet was flushed thank god.
He did wash his cock and dried it on his curtains afterwards and only charged me £1 to use his phone to get a taxi.
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His excuse for being late was that he got lost in the dark. Then after five minutes of nervous chatter he realised he'd forgotten to take his Viagra. So the promised above average turned out to be nearly invisible. I did my best but clearly it wasn't going to be a night to remember except in a bad way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He made me laugh so much. I was in fits of giggles. Then he put his cock back in his Step One boxers. Though later he made me moan and scream. He tripped over the flex and dropped the iron on my foot. Won't be seeing that fat, clumsy bastrad again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When Showed up I was absolutely dumbfounded by his ugliness I'm sure that when he cries his tears roll down his back, poor fucker also has a stutter he tried telling me about his grand parents by the time he was finished I was about to burst into the chorus of Hey Jude (NA,Na,Na,Na) anyway after an hour of him trying to string a sentence together we started to get down to the "nitty gritty" as it turns out it was only nitty as there wasn't enough time to do the gritty big load though almost blasted me onto the ceiling.
Nice genuine guy, his heart is in the right place, Funny, Fugly |
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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago
Chorley, Eng |
This one clearly put as much thought in to her outfit as she did in the creation of her username.
I thought the 81 was the year of her birth but having met her I now realise that it represents the number of times she can scare you during one meet.
She has a lot of verifications but I suspect they were given under duress. Possibly by people who thought they would recieve a Glasgow Kiss from her if they didn't. I personally think that would be preferable to an actual kiss from this one.
Save yourself. It is too late for me.
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Finally, I met Veronica at her place. She doesn’t look like her photos at all. Her real name is John, a 78 sleepless moribund filthy pervert old man. He asked me to lick his dental plaque and clean his flat naked.
I would definitely like to see him again and guys, if you get the opportunity to meet him do so. |
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"I was delivering from Asda. She answered the door bare-assed, led me into her kitchen, then proceeded to get down on all fours. Her p*** as wide as a milk pail but any hole’s a goal so I spunked all over her and the groceries. Not a word was exchanged. Afterwards, she made me a cup of tea. "
- At least you made tea! |
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