FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Hey, that's me!
Hey, that's me!
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Fellow fab forumites.
You know sometimes you see a post or status and something about it feels familiar.
This can be when someone outright copies your status, when someone makes a positive comment clearly aimed at you with that #theyknowwhotheyare vibe, or when someone has a full rant post about a situation where you're like, "Oh, that was about me."
How does it make you feel? Would you rather be credited with your deeds (both good and bad) or not?
Water off a duck's back. I know. But there is always a little gut reaction to these things before the logic kicks in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have zero desire to copy anybody else’s status or profile or to try and win a perceived favour out of doing it.
I do read profiles and some I think are amazing, but have never felt a need to copy anyone or their desires |
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Either I'm somewhat oblivious or I just don't feature at the forefront of anybody's thoughts, but I've never had this feeling.
How does it make you feel OP? Is it good to know someone is thinking about you, or would you rather not feature - albeit clandestinely - in a forum post? Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fucking hell.. can't type today 
3rd attempt
It reminds me of these situations when a person posts something complimentary and enigmatic and claims it was for you or lets you hope it was for you... but it turns out later that four other women thought the same and were the mixed inspiration for it
T. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't imagine under what circumstances someone would bother copying my profile or take a blind bit of notice about what I say.
Take it as a compliment though as clearly they aspire to be you or want to catch your eye. |
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"Either I'm somewhat oblivious or I just don't feature at the forefront of anybody's thoughts, but I've never had this feeling.
How does it make you feel OP? Is it good to know someone is thinking about you, or would you rather not feature - albeit clandestinely - in a forum post? Xx"
When it was the status about being remarkably fussy for a girl who just wants her throat fucked like your least favourite wank sock it was odd, and I wondered what they hoped to achieve by repeating my words as though they were their own, but it didn't matter. I just hoped they gave enough enthusiasm in the moment to not disappoint anyone by not living up to what they presented as themselves. They were in Wales so it's not like we're competing for the same market anyway.
When it's positive comments that I know are aimed at me through the context, it's a nice feeling. Depending who it's from it can feel a little sycophantic, but knowing someone thinks of you positively is good. The negative ones, not so much. But then there's nothing wrong with people airing their feelings in a public forum without directly indicating who it's about. It's just slightly uncomfortable knowing that I'm the villain to people I never intended to cause pain |
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I've noticed them in the past, Prey, and they would elicit a reaction from me and made me question my stance with that person going forward.
Such allegorical threads or status updates no longer bother me, indeed they now amuse me. But it's a very rare thing these days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whenever I see the word, ‘Arsehole’ mentioned on a status, I immediately break out in a cold sweat…."
This was a mistake because I'm going to try that now. One day.. 
T |
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"Fellow fab forumites.
You know sometimes you see a post or status and something about it feels familiar.
This can be when someone outright copies your status, when someone makes a positive comment clearly aimed at you with that #theyknowwhotheyare vibe, or when someone has a full rant post about a situation where you're like, "Oh, that was about me."
How does it make you feel? Would you rather be credited with your deeds (both good and bad) or not?
Water off a duck's back. I know. But there is always a little gut reaction to these things before the logic kicks in "
I'm not sure I would notice tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The energy and spite put into comments on here that are subtexts, veiled digs and spiteful hate is astounding.
I have bitten back at times, other times ignored, but it just keeps coming, again and again and again.
Along with the lies.
Do I like it, no. Of course I don't.
The people that can say nice things don't because They don't want to put themselves in the firing line of the wrath that's displayed.
I'm just used to it now,it's been since june. There's no way I can speak the truth so I have to accept it regardless. My feelings do not matter.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fucking hell.. can't type today
3rd attempt
It reminds me of these situations when a person posts something complimentary and enigmatic and claims it was for you or lets you hope it was for you... but it turns out later that four other women thought the same and were the mixed inspiration for it
T."
This too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whenever I see the word, ‘Arsehole’ mentioned on a status, I immediately break out in a cold sweat….
This was a mistake because I'm going to try that now. One day..
T
  "
Come on. Don't give me the ammunition.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The energy and spite put into comments on here that are subtexts, veiled digs and spiteful hate is astounding.
I have bitten back at times, other times ignored, but it just keeps coming, again and again and again.
Along with the lies.
Do I like it, no. Of course I don't.
The people that can say nice things don't because They don't want to put themselves in the firing line of the wrath that's displayed.
I'm just used to it now,it's been since june. There's no way I can speak the truth so I have to accept it regardless. My feelings do not matter.
"
Not picking holes in anything you've said because you are 100% spot on, although the downside of messages be it on Forums, DM's or even status updates can be easily misinterpreted through no one's fault |
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" It's just slightly uncomfortable knowing that I'm the villain to people I never intended to cause pain "
I can really empathise with this. For most of my time here since returning in April, I've felt like a villain, despite only ever having good intentions. Reconnecting with a couple of people who previously held negative opinions about me has greatly helped in feeling more confident about being here again, and I'm really rather grateful to those people for reaching out Xx |
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Copying my status, I don't care.
You know who you are type things, it really depends on the intent and how obvious it is. I dislike the ones where it's showing off, trying to drag me into them bragging about themselves. And I dislike it when there's any chance I can be identified. But there's the ones where... the two of us are the only ones who'll know, and it's not been done as some sort of "look at me I'm awesome thing" - I get a bit of a smile out of those things. |
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One guy i broke things off with created several threads about it at the time. I refused to give him the oxygen with a reply.I knew my reasons and I didn't feel the need to defend myself. It just emphasised that I'd made the right decision. |
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Usually I get negative or BUT comments when I stand up against (in my opinion) racism or discrimination.
They could mention my name, because I'll do it again even if everyone else is against me.
When I comment on a thread without reading it properly (sometimes tired) and that's the rare occasion, when everybody is noticing my comment.
Misunderstanding sometimes.
Mostly apologize and nobody accepts it.
I know I have a weird, darkISH humor with too much sarcasm.
Sometimes comes across blunt or negative.
Not intended like that.
Try to behave, but also not to be average Joe.
Kind of good weird.
Sorry, I might have gone off topic a little bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fellow fab forumites.
You know sometimes you see a post or status and something about it feels familiar.
This can be when someone outright copies your status, when someone makes a positive comment clearly aimed at you with that #theyknowwhotheyare vibe, or when someone has a full rant post about a situation where you're like, "Oh, that was about me."
How does it make you feel? Would you rather be credited with your deeds (both good and bad) or not?
Water off a duck's back. I know. But there is always a little gut reaction to these things before the logic kicks in "
Good. I'm glad you can logically click back into place.
Personally I'd rather be called out. Aside from an obvious, I have nothing to hide. So anything on the forum be it a comment or message I say is my opinion so of course is from my perspective.
How would it make me feel? I don't know, I'd probably think that the person is obviously troubled, hurting and confused and feels annoyed at being like that. That's on them, something for them to sort out. As long as no names were mentioned, then that leaves anonymity in tact.
But in all honesty no one cares and that is the truth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think anyone who thinks something is directed towards them must feel they have done something to justify the outburst. If the shoe doesn't fit, people wouldn't pay too much attention to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually I get negative or BUT comments when I stand up against (in my opinion) racism or discrimination.
They could mention my name, because I'll do it again even if everyone else is against me.
When I comment on a thread without reading it properly (sometimes tired) and that's the rare occasion, when everybody is noticing my comment.
Misunderstanding sometimes.
Mostly apologize and nobody accepts it.
I know I have a weird, darkISH humor with too much sarcasm.
Sometimes comes across blunt or negative.
Not intended like that.
Try to behave, but also not to be average Joe.
Kind of good weird.
Sorry, I might have gone off topic a little bit."
Actually I think you've just above covered it for everyone....I think Ricky Gervais said it right "we live in a world where someone's opinion is more important than everyone's fact" |
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It makes me feel like my hype is justified.
I love it.
Sometimes I look at my reflection in my wife’s diamond encrusted butt plug and I think maybe my ego is getting out of control.
Then I remember… I need to put the blue bin out on Thursday. |
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"Usually I get negative or BUT comments when I stand up against (in my opinion) racism or discrimination.
They could mention my name, because I'll do it again even if everyone else is against me.
When I comment on a thread without reading it properly (sometimes tired) and that's the rare occasion, when everybody is noticing my comment.
Misunderstanding sometimes.
Mostly apologize and nobody accepts it.
I know I have a weird, darkISH humor with too much sarcasm.
Sometimes comes across blunt or negative.
Not intended like that.
Try to behave, but also not to be average Joe.
Kind of good weird.
Sorry, I might have gone off topic a little bit.
Actually I think you've just above covered it for everyone....I think Ricky Gervais said it right "we live in a world where someone's opinion is more important than everyone's fact" "
***
I think you just made my point. |
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"I don’t like any of it.
Think yourself lucky there’s not an Aldi you contacting people you verified "
Oh, there's a one of those local that likes to harangue anyone that verifies someone they've never even met. It feels like when I was hungover watching Jeremy Kyle on daytime TV sometimes |
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"I've noticed them in the past, Prey, and they would elicit a reaction from me and made me question my stance with that person going forward.
Such allegorical threads or status updates no longer bother me, indeed they now amuse me. But it's a very rare thing these days."
The feeling passes quickly for sure, but it's just a surprising little spike sometimes before the reasoning kicks in |
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"I haven't experienced this, I don't think I'm exciting enough to bother copying or having a status about
Mrs "
Honestly I usually get too distracted by you both and end up going for a quiet ladywank rather than making anything public. That sounds like the right level of exciting to me |
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" It's just slightly uncomfortable knowing that I'm the villain to people I never intended to cause pain
I can really empathise with this. For most of my time here since returning in April, I've felt like a villain, despite only ever having good intentions. Reconnecting with a couple of people who previously held negative opinions about me has greatly helped in feeling more confident about being here again, and I'm really rather grateful to those people for reaching out Xx"
I think that's most of my problem.
I know I've never actively sought to hurt people in any meaningful way, and it throws me when I see the reminders that regardless of intentions and working with the knowledge I had at the time that I failed.
There are people I know with decade old wounds from things that I didn't even know about at the time, and even though we've talked it all out and forgiveness and understanding has been absolute, I still feel that pang of guilt for the pain I caused all those years ago sometimes when I think of them. It's harder when it's a fresher wound without that kind of resolution for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" It's just slightly uncomfortable knowing that I'm the villain to people I never intended to cause pain
I can really empathise with this. For most of my time here since returning in April, I've felt like a villain, despite only ever having good intentions. Reconnecting with a couple of people who previously held negative opinions about me has greatly helped in feeling more confident about being here again, and I'm really rather grateful to those people for reaching out Xx
I think that's most of my problem.
I know I've never actively sought to hurt people in any meaningful way, and it throws me when I see the reminders that regardless of intentions and working with the knowledge I had at the time that I failed.
There are people I know with decade old wounds from things that I didn't even know about at the time, and even though we've talked it all out and forgiveness and understanding has been absolute, I still feel that pang of guilt for the pain I caused all those years ago sometimes when I think of them. It's harder when it's a fresher wound without that kind of resolution for sure "
I can understand that, especially if you've never had a chance to talk to them properly or have been actively encouraged not too. |
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I sometimes post positive veiled things about people.
Like, at one stage a long time ago I posted a lyric to a song as my status. The next line included the place my friend was from. My friend knew it. I'd just seen them (no published verification) and it was sort of, I enjoyed our time together... without being "great meet with Biggus Dickus, call me bb".
To most people it would have meant nothing. Hopefully in that moment it made the person it was aimed at, smile. |
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"I sometimes post positive veiled things about people.
Like, at one stage a long time ago I posted a lyric to a song as my status. The next line included the place my friend was from. My friend knew it. I'd just seen them (no published verification) and it was sort of, I enjoyed our time together... without being "great meet with Biggus Dickus, call me bb".
To most people it would have meant nothing. Hopefully in that moment it made the person it was aimed at, smile. "
Oh I like those ones. The little nods to each other without making it a big public show.
A little PDA now and again isn't the worst thing, but I do prefer the quieter and subtler versions |
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This has only happened to us once, years ago. A couple we met socially didn't appreciate us not wanting to meet again. They put a passive aggressive status up that couldn't have been about anyone else. We felt a bit miffed at the time if I recall and confused that mature people had resorted to that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a habit of overthinking and wondering if certain negative things said in statuses and threads are directed towards me. But whether that's the case or not, I'm not in a position to control that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually think it’s kinda cringe
We’re in this weird social media age now where people feel the need to announce things secretly, but publicly.
Very cringe. Prefer to days of just dealing with people directly, instead of proxy via social media |
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It's only happened once negatively that I know of. It really upset me so I hid the profile and went offline for a few days.
There have been a couple of positive ones that have made me smile a lot. 
J
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"I sometimes post positive veiled things about people.
Like, at one stage a long time ago I posted a lyric to a song as my status. The next line included the place my friend was from. My friend knew it. I'd just seen them (no published verification) and it was sort of, I enjoyed our time together... without being "great meet with Biggus Dickus, call me bb".
To most people it would have meant nothing. Hopefully in that moment it made the person it was aimed at, smile.
Oh I like those ones. The little nods to each other without making it a big public show.
A little PDA now and again isn't the worst thing, but I do prefer the quieter and subtler versions "
I get more... people assuming my writing is about something when it's not. Because most of the time my stuff is either about ancient history or nothing to do with Fab. But I'd rather be positive than negative in that sort of context. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re not supposed to air your dirty laundry, or so we are told ….. but they do #theyknowwho
Or, I wish I could tell everyone what a wonderful time I had with, or how much I fancy #theyknowwho. That type of thing?
My profile was once copied word for word *true story, that’s was hillarious, but I don’t think anyone’s copied my status. Why would they, it’s not working for me. *glance to the side camera 
I do however often think, I wish I knew what was going on, and who they mean, because I’m nosey like that.
 |
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"I sometimes post positive veiled things about people.
Like, at one stage a long time ago I posted a lyric to a song as my status. The next line included the place my friend was from. My friend knew it. I'd just seen them (no published verification) and it was sort of, I enjoyed our time together... without being "great meet with Biggus Dickus, call me bb".
To most people it would have meant nothing. Hopefully in that moment it made the person it was aimed at, smile. "
Now that is just nice. Nice use of a status, whilst it admittedly will have most scratching their heads, why not send an appreciative veiled message. Yeah, I like that. Almost an anonymous "kiss and tell" without any real telling and will only possibly be understood as to what it is by more deep thinkers and hopefully gets to the individual it is intended for....hopefully that person 'gets' and also "gets it", lol. ....understands it.. |
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"I haven't experienced this, I don't think I'm exciting enough to bother copying or having a status about
Mrs
Honestly I usually get too distracted by you both and end up going for a quiet ladywank rather than making anything public. That sounds like the right level of exciting to me "
That sounds like the perfect level of exciting 
Mrs |
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"I've noticed them in the past, Prey, and they would elicit a reaction from me and made me question my stance with that person going forward.
Such allegorical threads or status updates no longer bother me, indeed they now amuse me. But it's a very rare thing these days.
·
The feeling passes quickly for sure, but it's just a surprising little spike sometimes before the reasoning kicks in "
•
I think you've coined the term perfectly: SLS - surprising little spike. Because that's exactly what it is without a doubt, before it ebbs away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people just think everything is about them when it really isn't.
I've noticed certain people that "hate" me say stuff , ironically the thing they hate me for they do 10x worse but hey, I really don't put any thought into it.
Some people just suit green.
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I wouldn't notice as I rarely look at updates and assume anyone who had an issue would contact me/us if it was such a big problem.
Vague status updates/sarky threads or narky comments are ignored since it is somewhat juvenile behaviour whether aimed at me or clearly meant for someone else to be hurt by.
MrsAbz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had photos taken by men
I don't think I've been subject of any status' but I am fairly oblivious in mt interactions
Another female profile used a lot of similar words and intent as mine - i chose to be flattered |
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I did once have a complimentary status put about me. Also one guy on the forums (no longer here) who I turned down spent weeks having digs about me but never mentioning me. I found it amusing and used to  He got fed up once he realised I wasn't going to bite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wait... this thread is about me isn't it? 
You'd never catch me fan-girling over a sexy man, with dark eyes and almost black tousled hair.
Nope."
My hair is so multicoloured... auburn, to light, to dark to grey. Bizarre. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads..."
If you based all conversation on atrocities elsewhere on the planet no one would ever be happy or be able to say anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
If you based all conversation on atrocities elsewhere on the planet no one would ever be happy or be able to say anything."
I was having a conversation the other day though about how we are so protected in a bubble from war... all of ours are in far away lands we just see on TV. Apart from the IRA not much has gone on here in yearrrrssss.
Privileged I guess, but sheltered. |
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
If you based all conversation on atrocities elsewhere on the planet no one would ever be happy or be able to say anything.
I was having a conversation the other day though about how we are so protected in a bubble from war... all of ours are in far away lands we just see on TV. Apart from the IRA not much has gone on here in yearrrrssss.
Privileged I guess, but sheltered."
Agreed and the appetite for war and British influence now shapes foreign policy.
I guess this is magnified in NI now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
If you based all conversation on atrocities elsewhere on the planet no one would ever be happy or be able to say anything.
I was having a conversation the other day though about how we are so protected in a bubble from war... all of ours are in far away lands we just see on TV. Apart from the IRA not much has gone on here in yearrrrssss.
Privileged I guess, but sheltered.
Agreed and the appetite for war and British influence now shapes foreign policy.
I guess this is magnified in NI now."
This isn't the thread for this but I disagree - Britain used to have a fair amount of power but not now. Wasn't it mainly Churchill who gave the Jewish Isreal after the war? Can you imagine us claiming and gifting Arab land now? Me neither. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
Your point?
That there are bigger things to worry about than perception of bio theft."
Relax, it's casual conversation. Do you say that to everyone at work when they ask you if you fancy a tea? |
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
If you based all conversation on atrocities elsewhere on the planet no one would ever be happy or be able to say anything.
I was having a conversation the other day though about how we are so protected in a bubble from war... all of ours are in far away lands we just see on TV. Apart from the IRA not much has gone on here in yearrrrssss.
Privileged I guess, but sheltered.
Agreed and the appetite for war and British influence now shapes foreign policy.
I guess this is magnified in NI now.
This isn't the thread for this but I disagree - Britain used to have a fair amount of power but not now. Wasn't it mainly Churchill who gave the Jewish Isreal after the war? Can you imagine us claiming and gifting Arab land now? Me neither."
Agree with going off topic. You miss my point. There is very little appetite or influence now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
If you based all conversation on atrocities elsewhere on the planet no one would ever be happy or be able to say anything.
I was having a conversation the other day though about how we are so protected in a bubble from war... all of ours are in far away lands we just see on TV. Apart from the IRA not much has gone on here in yearrrrssss.
Privileged I guess, but sheltered.
Agreed and the appetite for war and British influence now shapes foreign policy.
I guess this is magnified in NI now.
This isn't the thread for this but I disagree - Britain used to have a fair amount of power but not now. Wasn't it mainly Churchill who gave the Jewish Isreal after the war? Can you imagine us claiming and gifting Arab land now? Me neither.
Agree with going off topic. You miss my point. There is very little appetite or influence now. "
I get your point, it's just a little frivolous on a thread on a swingers website.  |
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
Your point?
That there are bigger things to worry about than perception of bio theft.
Relax, it's casual conversation. Do you say that to everyone at work when they ask you if you fancy a tea?"
Oooft pincer movement. |
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
If you based all conversation on atrocities elsewhere on the planet no one would ever be happy or be able to say anything.
I was having a conversation the other day though about how we are so protected in a bubble from war... all of ours are in far away lands we just see on TV. Apart from the IRA not much has gone on here in yearrrrssss.
Privileged I guess, but sheltered.
Agreed and the appetite for war and British influence now shapes foreign policy.
I guess this is magnified in NI now.
This isn't the thread for this but I disagree - Britain used to have a fair amount of power but not now. Wasn't it mainly Churchill who gave the Jewish Isreal after the war? Can you imagine us claiming and gifting Arab land now? Me neither.
Agree with going off topic. You miss my point. There is very little appetite or influence now.
I get your point, it's just a little frivolous on a thread on a swingers website. "
Agree. Parking it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads..."
I'm guessing people don't come on here for the news at 10.
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We have had some people who have imitated a pic of ours - sometimes they’ve asked, sometimes not - they are in the public eye I suppose so not really much we can do - imitation is greatest form of compliment apparently
As to whether we’ve been talked about negatively then i wouldn’t know or care to be honest. We use this site to chat and meet and then dip in the forums now and again. For what the site is intended for, there is a lot of jealousy here and some people want to cause drama but if you don’t let it get to you, people will just move on.
K |
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads..."
Sorry buddy, I'll keep my vaguely lighthearted breaks from the horrors of the world to the politics forum in future |
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Generally these types of posts are snidey and this if they can’t be fucked to tell me directly I can’t be fucked to waste energy on someone’s opinion.
They are entitled to it of course, but water off a ducks back generally.
Hurts when is someone you care about though |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Wait... this thread is about me isn't it?
You'd never catch me fan-girling over a sexy man, with dark eyes and almost black tousled hair.
Nope.
My hair is so multicoloured... auburn, to light, to dark to grey. Bizarre."
Rainbow hair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wait... this thread is about me isn't it?
You'd never catch me fan-girling over a sexy man, with dark eyes and almost black tousled hair.
Nope.
My hair is so multicoloured... auburn, to light, to dark to grey. Bizarre.
Rainbow hair "
It's a bit silly, but it is what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
Your point?
That there are bigger things to worry about than perception of bio theft."
And yet here you are. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"I look at the news about innocent children dying in Gaza and Ukraine, then I look at some threads...
Your point?
That there are bigger things to worry about than perception of bio theft."
There are, but they will happen regardless of somebody making another cut or uncut thread.
Bigger things to worry about, yet here you are wasting your time with a weak attempt to chastise, belittle, and guilt others in to worrying about them.
Is that your attempt to say you are taking the high road and making a difference in the world while sitting at home doing fuck all to change these atrocities.
Because let's face it, worrying about these things won't stop them happening, and unless you are actually out there actually changing them then you are just as useless as the rest of us except with a little bit of self righteousness thrown in. |
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I don't have that "main character" energy. The only time I know it's definitely about me is if my fwb is being cute and his status is about us.
I've definitely detected a nasty undercurrent about other people on here though. Which is completely unjustified. |
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