FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men.

Men.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

I’m the opposite. I probably show too much affection and interest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm probably in the needy crowd as I like communication. But I also get busy and disappear for a few days and would like for you to understand.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The old saying.."Never be an option always be the priority" springs to mind

Do I need constant affirmation that I'm the priority? Not this bloke, I want to feel wanted not suffocated

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

I’m the opposite. I probably show too much affection and interest

This surprises me!

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

I’m the opposite. I probably show too much affection and interest

This surprises me!"

Not sure if that’s sarcasm or not

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

I like to be wanted and I want to be liked depending on the situation and the woman.

It doesn't have to be vocalised. Their trust is more than enough.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm probably in the needy crowd as I like communication. But I also get busy and disappear for a few days and would like for you to understand.

How much communication?

A message a day?

A couple a week?

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By *ryingitout19Man over a year ago

Wales

I don’t want it constantly but nor do I always want to be the one that initiates every interaction either. I just want to know there’s an equal level of engagement / interest!

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By *illy IdolMan over a year ago

Midlands

I don't need to feel needed. I like to know someone likes me. Nobody likes barking up the wrong tree.

However, feel free to send naked pics either way

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

If I’m going to meet someone then I need a level of enthusiasm beyond “oh go on then”. Being desired is sexy and anticipation is part of the fun, it works both ways though. If I’m going to meet someone and I sense that they’re not 100% into it, then that very much puts me off.

Enthusiastic consent is the key, enthusiasm being just as important as consent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I need to hear it. Unrequited flirty is one of the most cringe things I can think of so if the compliments are only going one way, it's usually a sign for me to stop the conversation dead.

Wondering about my own needs as opposed to how I can be there for their needs is something that's probably taken up 90% of my waking brain space recently and because I've not done it that often, it makes me indecisive of whether I actually need to feel wanted and I'm beginning to realise that I do...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just let me know you want me, is all I need.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The old saying.."Never be an option always be the priority" springs to mind

Do I need constant affirmation that I'm the priority? Not this bloke, I want to feel wanted not suffocated

I’m not sure that anyone on here is ever the priority or should expect to be!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The old saying.."Never be an option always be the priority" springs to mind

Do I need constant affirmation that I'm the priority? Not this bloke, I want to feel wanted not suffocated

See, I don't wanna be anyone's priority. This gives me ick.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don’t want it constantly but nor do I always want to be the one that initiates every interaction either. I just want to know there’s an equal level of engagement / interest!"

But what if the other person is just really rubbish at messaging?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm probably in the needy crowd as I like communication. But I also get busy and disappear for a few days and would like for you to understand.

How much communication?

A message a day?

A couple a week?

It varies. If the person is a conversationalist and I like them then I don't mind frequent messages.

For those who aren't, infrequent is fine once or maybe a couple a week. Enough that we get to know each other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I’m going to meet someone then I need a level of enthusiasm beyond “oh go on then”. Being desired is sexy and anticipation is part of the fun, it works both ways though. If I’m going to meet someone and I sense that they’re not 100% into it, then that very much puts me off.

Enthusiastic consent is the key, enthusiasm being just as important as consent "

This is where I go wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it feels one way then I just stop and move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm probably in the needy crowd as I like communication. But I also get busy and disappear for a few days and would like for you to understand.

How much communication?

A message a day?

A couple a week?

It varies. If the person is a conversationalist and I like them then I don't mind frequent messages.

For those who aren't, infrequent is fine once or maybe a couple a week. Enough that we get to know each other.

Oh there we go, "get to know each other" eurgh, what does that even mean? Do you need to know my name, my hobbies and all that crap?

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

I need SOME semi regular communication as I like to feel a connection. Everyday is usually too much but not in every case. A few messages exchanged a couple of times a week works for me.

I don't need sext, flattery, nudes or anything like that. If the chat is good then mutual appreciation is assumed.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I don’t want it constantly but nor do I always want to be the one that initiates every interaction either. I just want to know there’s an equal level of engagement / interest!

But what if the other person is just really rubbish at messaging? "

Then they’ll probably lose a lot of interactions and interest. It’s one thing to know that about yourself but if you don’t try to change that then you’re just expecting the other person the do all of the emotional work and giving nothing in return

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By *he ass man 666Man over a year ago

paradise city

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

Seriously: it nice to feel wanted to build up a connection, message and chat not just about sex , but a “hey how’s it going ,what you upto every now and then, guys are needy to some times

Jokingly: send nudes

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Enthusiastic consent is the key, enthusiasm being just as important as consent

This is where I go wrong. "

Yes, it is

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

Constant needyness levels, no thanks.

Reminders that they are interested, the odd actual compliment now and again. Yes please.

A lack of effort and lack of actual interest is a turn off, for me because it can be confusing. One sided effort is simply not fun.

Yeah of course I like to feel special now and again

what's the point in being interested if all that's ever shown is barely anything above an interest in random person A, B, and C?

But don't put me on a constant pedestal for relentless attention.

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By *w71Man over a year ago

Swanage

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

I think for a hook up or a meet on here I’m kinda fine with casual disinterest. I think if it where to be a regular thing I’d definitely want some casual affection and interest, I wouldn’t want to feel as if I was chasing constantly.

A long term relationship I do need plenty of affirmation affection and love.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

I am not looking for displays of affection in between meetings, I just want to meet someone that enjoys the times we do spend together. And happy to have the occasional chat in between.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Worship me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think a nice photo is never going to be a bad thing, I like someone to remind me why they like me every now and then I suppose but I can manage without as really, as long as you are still talking to me and/or meeting, then that tells me you are still into me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Enthusiastic consent is the key, enthusiasm being just as important as consent

This is where I go wrong.

Yes, it is"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I offer you the comedy answer or a serious one.

Which do you want?

I’m a man *true story. And I’m old fashioned so I’ll make the first move and make her aware of where I stand. If I don’t feel like she’s interested, I back off, because i am also living in a modern world, where I suspect she will have options (yes, this was actually spelled out to me once. I was an option)

A woman will have several men in toe (and she knows who) who can and will be giving her attention letting her know she can pick any of them. So if imm not ‘feeling it’, I’ll step aside, I’ve not got time for that shit.

So, if they’re a type of girl out there that likes double messages and memes and gifs being sent without getting all ‘he’s too much!’ Hit me up, I like attention. I like someone who’s a little needy, because I am a bit.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*whistles tunelessly*

Still waiting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"*whistles tunelessly*

Still waiting.

What's happening?!

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

Nah men are little more than emotionless sex husks.

We don't need affirmation from our partners.

We never have doubts and questions about our relationships.

And we certainly never need to feel wanted.

Just flash us your fanny, and sometimes for a special surprise (like on an anniversary)... make us a sandwich.

That's all men want... fanny and sandwiches

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm probably in the needy crowd as I like communication. But I also get busy and disappear for a few days and would like for you to understand.

How much communication?

A message a day?

A couple a week?

It varies. If the person is a conversationalist and I like them then I don't mind frequent messages.

For those who aren't, infrequent is fine once or maybe a couple a week. Enough that we get to know each other.

Oh there we go, "get to know each other" eurgh, what does that even mean? Do you need to know my name, my hobbies and all that crap? "

Yes that is a very vague phrase.

In actual fact, it's really just enough information for me to guage if I actually do want to meet you.

Names, NI, occupation not needed. Just if we're compatible. Sometimes one sentence is enough sometimes I've already decided based on how she looks or something about her.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Men are so needy."

See the amount you and I chat? That’s about enough for me.

Y’know what I do need though? When we’re together (I mean the general we here, as in me and anyone I meet) … when we’re actually together I need you to really be with me. 100% in the moment, and all that jazz.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"*whistles tunelessly*

Still waiting.

What's happening?!"

You’re supposed to be telling me you want me.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

"Do you need to know my name"

I used to think so, but then I decided if I don't know it, I'll just one of my own choice.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

"Nah men are little more than emotionless sex husks.

We don't need affirmation from our partners.

We never have doubts and questions about our relationships.

And we certainly never need to feel wanted.

Just flash us your fanny, and sometimes for a special surprise (like on an anniversary)... make us a sandwich.

That's all men want... fanny and sandwiches

Fanny sandwiches?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Men are so needy.

See the amount you and I chat? That’s about enough for me.

Wait we chat? I just focus on the pictures tbh.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nah men are little more than emotionless sex husks.

We don't need affirmation from our partners.

We never have doubts and questions about our relationships.

And we certainly never need to feel wanted.

Just flash us your fanny, and sometimes for a special surprise (like on an anniversary)... make us a sandwich.

That's all men want... fanny and sandwiches

I'm gonna ignore the slight sarcasm and take this as gospel.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

"Nah men are little more than emotionless sex husks.

We don't need affirmation from our partners.

We never have doubts and questions about our relationships.

And we certainly never need to feel wanted.

Just flash us your fanny, and sometimes for a special surprise (like on an anniversary)... make us a sandwich.

That's all men want... fanny and sandwiches

Fanny sandwiches?

I would certainly like to be involved in some sort of fanny sandwich yes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you need to know my name

I used to think so, but then I decided if I don't know it, I'll just one of my own choice.

I'm not sure which I hate more, that one or my real name.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Wait we chat? I just focus on the pictures tbh. "

And I put such care into the captions too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"*whistles tunelessly*

Still waiting.

What's happening?!

You’re supposed to be telling me you want me.

Comfy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Wait we chat? I just focus on the pictures tbh.

And I put such care into the captions too.

Send another and I'll pay more attention to the words this time. Pinky promise.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Naked photos are sufficient

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Worship me!

Physically?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Send another and I'll pay more attention to the words this time. Pinky promise. "

^ See guys? If you tell a woman what you actually want, she’ll do it.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

"Nah men are little more than emotionless sex husks.

We don't need affirmation from our partners.

We never have doubts and questions about our relationships.

And we certainly never need to feel wanted.

Just flash us your fanny, and sometimes for a special surprise (like on an anniversary)... make us a sandwich.

That's all men want... fanny and sandwiches

I'm gonna ignore the slight sarcasm and take this as gospel. "

Shit

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By *attooguy97Man over a year ago

Hyde

I’m in the needy category I like to know don’t like the guessing game! The fact they show love and affection makes me like them more

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"I offer you the comedy answer or a serious one.

Which do you want?

"
this

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m in the needy category I like to know don’t like the guessing game! The fact they show love and affection makes me like them more"

Ooooh love?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I offer you the comedy answer or a serious one.

Which do you want?

this

It's a match!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Send another and I'll pay more attention to the words this time. Pinky promise.

^ See guys? If you tell a woman what you actually want, she’ll do it."

Does this work both ways?

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By *hinyRavensWingMan over a year ago

Hastings

I’d say moderation is the key. Not too little, not too much.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Worship me!

Physically?"

Oh yes indeed; I demand nothing less than a specially constructed shrine in my honour and blood sacrifice

(I’ll settle for a Pot Noodle and a blow job if not though)

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"I offer you the comedy answer or a serious one.

Which do you want?

this

It's a match!

"
not sure if thats a good thing but its probably not

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Worship me!

Physically?

Oh yes indeed; I demand nothing less than a specially constructed shrine in my honour and blood sacrifice

(I’ll settle for a Pot Noodle and a blow job if not though)

Chicken & Mushroom?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"*whistles tunelessly*

Still waiting.

What's happening?!

You’re supposed to be telling me you want me.

Comfy?"

Dammit. It’s bad news innit bruv?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"….

It's a match!

not sure if thats a good thing but its probably not

It’s not.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Does this work both ways?"

It just did for you.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Worship me!

Physically?

Oh yes indeed; I demand nothing less than a specially constructed shrine in my honour and blood sacrifice

(I’ll settle for a Pot Noodle and a blow job if not though)

Chicken & Mushroom?"

Oo aye!

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By *ryingitout19Man over a year ago

Wales

"I don’t want it constantly but nor do I always want to be the one that initiates every interaction either. I just want to know there’s an equal level of engagement / interest!

But what if the other person is just really rubbish at messaging? "

That may well be the case but I suppose if the thought of speaking to / seeing me isn’t popping into their head they can’t be overly bothered about it. It’s not the mode of communication in particular but more is there a desire from the person to want to talk to me or spend time with me. If it’s always me chasing or starting things that would suggest the interest isn’t strong enough on the other side to initiate interaction.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Does this work both ways?

It just did for you."

Did I blink and miss it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don’t want it constantly but nor do I always want to be the one that initiates every interaction either. I just want to know there’s an equal level of engagement / interest!

But what if the other person is just really rubbish at messaging?

Yeah I get this.

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

I often feel like you can't win.

You don't send a "how was your day/week?" msg and the feel all rejected.

You do it too often and you get called clingy.

I generally follow their lead.

But that's also an issue with here, they'll not want a relationship of any kind, yet once you've met and exchanged numbers they kind of expect that level of communication/affection.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

I've had this too in the past and never understood why their so needy, I think I was once referred to as an ice queen void of feelings

I'm just not good at showing them but......now I'm that horrible person that used to make me sick, seems I've found the one to give my cuddles

and soppy shit too and I'm not happy about it, it's alien but also slightly nice and very confusing.

So for all the men I used to say are too needy & touchy feely I'll hold my hands up I was mistaken, they just weren't my men.

Mrs

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

As some will know, I tend to have bursts of lots of talking and messaging and then dips of lacking or no messaging for a while.

I just tend to message whenever I feel like, if they pop in to my head, if I see something that makes me think of that person, or something I think they may like or not.

I don't really have any strict rules about how much contact at any given time just so it's not overwhelming or underwhelming. As was said above, if I'm having to initiate every single conversation then that's not enjoyable and I'm out.

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By *hrek101Man over a year ago

Herts

Yes for me. Not needy but I want to be wanted and desired. I love affection to. Wham bam doesn't do it for me. I want what I call the gf experience. In that moment we are totally into each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

Depends what the relationship is. If it’s lust then just send me filth.

If it’s marriage then give me a little bit of attention.

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Just something that they like would be enough rest could be explored adding that they enjoyed with/by me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I often feel like you can't win.

You don't send a "how was your day/week?" msg and the feel all rejected.

You do it too often and you get called clingy.

I generally follow their lead.

But that's also an issue with here, they'll not want a relationship of any kind, yet once you've met and exchanged numbers they kind of expect that level of communication/affection."

Well yss.

why exchange numbers if you're not going to keep in touch. If we're only going to meet for sex occasionally we can keep that on here.

But don't need how was your day. We either have something to say or just check in occasionally.

A few years ago I had a few people with no contact in between. Just text, set a date and time and done until next time.

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By *illy IdolMan over a year ago

Midlands

There's far too many messages above for me to be bothered to read so it's probably already been mentioned.

Men are like most women. Wanking is great, but we want to be desired. We need our ego's feeding. There's no better satisfaction than someone being attracted to you, for who you are and what you look like.

Others will word this better, but you get the gist.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I quite like to be left alone.

It's nice to have companionable silence, then again I am chatty so that may ruin it.

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By *ryingitout19Man over a year ago

Wales

"I don’t want it constantly but nor do I always want to be the one that initiates every interaction either. I just want to know there’s an equal level of engagement / interest!

But what if the other person is just really rubbish at messaging?

Yeah I get this."

Sometimes people are busy, have things going on but then it’s just about communicating that. If I think someone isn’t interested after a while I’ll just stop bothering. If they get back in touch ok, we can see what happens. If they don’t then there’s the answer

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan over a year ago

St Leonards

It's very difficult to answer generically, because a lot of context surrounds all interactions, and a lot of personality types that don't have much to do with gender will all need different things. And that can change anyway - we're all changeable day to day.

However, getting naked pics instead of messages would irritate me just as much as messages - they're both attempts to make "my" time "theirs".

Attempts to own me are the worst turn off, and they're transparently obvious, making them even more of a turn-off.

So my needs are to know that when we're together (for me I prefer days, but it works for a few hours as well), we're very into each other - intellectually, physically, humorously - and actually give a shit about what the other person is trying to get from life either weeks or years ahead, and when we part we trust and like each other enough to want to repeat.

Again, for me, that's a couple of months later. Enough time not to feel "possessed", enough time to build up desire and freshness to see them again. To genuinely miss them. Not feel "lonely" and expect them to fill that hole. Some communication of course, but not because of loneliness.

The closest example I know of this working is Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre.

The "cheapest" thing for them was to fall into ownership, or attempted ownership, of the other.

The "greatest" thing for them was brutal authenticity, and that was their key to incredible tenderness and intense passion, over 50 years, with countless intentional and open promiscuities.

Their story is not as simple as that, but the nuts and bolts are as above.

The biggest key to my understanding of being most "authentic" (horrible word...even within authenticity we perform for others), is that at the same time as being absolutely entwined with everything in the universe, I am also totally, absolutely, alone.

And that's the best place to choose the people in your life from. You want to be around them when you can give to each other, but you never NEED to be around them.

Being absolutely alone is cause for happiness, not fear.

Because you then realise that your choices to interact are untainted by conditioning (that's sort of bollocks, because if we weren't conditioned to write sentences a certain way, or use English, none of this would make sense. So you drop a lot of conditioning, whilst still recognising you're "within the bottle" constructed for you from birth to some degree).

Works for me anyway...and of course I could write thousands more words on it...but it's a sex site so I can't be arsed.

Shorter version - find joy in being alone, work out what gives you joy from others whilst knowing you are also always alone, then go for it, because you owe no one an apology.

In fact, you're doing the species an enormous favour by stepping out of 12,000 years of social conditioning constructed from when we first started farming...and social (and therefore emotional) roles underwent a series of enormous, performative, and now heavily outmoded changes.

We need to change everything about ourselves as a species, or we really are fucked, and it goes so very much further than male/female, gay/bi, pan, fluid, non-binary etc.

That's the prize, the ethics, of embracing "alone-ness".

It connects you to everything.

No more gods, no more nations, no simplistic gender narratives (I include pan/non-binary etc as being as simplistic as male/female), no outmoded economic templates, no leaders, no followers.

But deffo, deffo, deffo great tit wanks x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most men have a need to feel, needed,appreciated,respected and loved

If they’re not there he is looking elsewhere

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

One thing i love about enm is that i don't need too much from any one person. Sometimes, though, i do have a favourite who i want more from. But i refuse to be needy, so i so withdraw from then a bit. With some guys that make them come running, but i don't do it for that reason as it is way too dangerous a game to play.

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By *illy IdolMan over a year ago

Midlands

"It's very difficult to answer generically, because a lot of context surrounds all interactions, and a lot of personality types that don't have much to do with gender will all need different things. And that can change anyway - we're all changeable day to day.

However, getting naked pics instead of messages would irritate me just as much as messages - they're both attempts to make "my" time "theirs".

Attempts to own me are the worst turn off, and they're transparently obvious, making them even more of a turn-off.

The closest example I know of this working is Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre.

The "cheapest" thing for them was to fall into ownership, or attempted ownership, of the other.

The "greatest" thing for them was brutal authenticity, and that was their key to incredible tenderness and intense passion, over 50 years, with countless intentional and open promiscuities.

Their story is not as simple as that, but the nuts and bolts are as above.

And that's the best place to choose the people in your life from. You want to be around them when you can give to each other, but you never NEED to be around them.

Being absolutely alone is cause for happiness, not fear.

Works for me anyway...and of course I could write thousands more words on it...but it's a sex site so I can't be arsed.

Shorter version - find joy in being alone, work out what gives you joy from others whilst knowing you are also always alone, then go for it, because you owe no one an apology.

We need to change everything about ourselves as a species, or we really are fucked, and it goes so very much further than male/female, gay/bi, pan, fluid, non-binary etc.

That's the prize, the ethics, of embracing "alone-ness".

It connects you to everything.

No more gods, no more nations, no simplistic gender narratives (I include pan/non-binary etc as being as simplistic as male/female), no outmoded economic templates, no leaders, no followers.

But deffo, deffo, deffo great tit wanks x "

I wish you started with the short version

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

The more I read here the more it confirms this really isn’t the place for me

. Although I’ve kinda always known that. I think I’m in the needy category going by this.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan over a year ago

St Leonards

@ Willy - Shortest version:

Max the tit-wanks

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By *illy IdolMan over a year ago

Midlands

"@ Willy - Shortest version:

Max the tit-wanks

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By *inky ChefMan over a year ago

Norwich

Here not really.

" Come over today" or "Fuck me now" with or without photo is good enough.

In a loving relationship it's different, but never been too needy.

Actions and body language reveal more than words in real life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Naked photo best

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By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Covent Garden

I like to be desired and appreciated but I don't need to be coveted. I much prefer (and enjoy) real world interactions and the momentum of communication; I don't expect or thrive on receiving risqué photographs just to re-affirm our mutual interest in each other or other such gestures.

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By *ddie1966Man over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

It's nice to chat occasionally.

Every day... not this bloke.

Once or twice a week... Nice.

I also appreciate that we all have other priorities too and lives to live outside of having some fun.

However, it's a 2 way street.

If the lady requires me to be in regular contact, I'm happy to oblige, but I'm also very busy earning a crust so they should never expect war and peace each time.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Surely everyone likes to feel wanted, desired or attractive to someone to some degree?

It’s when that basic need turns into an overbearing crushingly awful need that can’t be satisfied that it becomes a problem.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

I’m the opposite. I probably show too much affection and interest

This surprises me!

Not sure if that’s sarcasm or not

Can I be somewhere in between the two of your?…

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

I’m the opposite. I probably show too much affection and interest

This surprises me!

Not sure if that’s sarcasm or not

Can I be somewhere in between the two of your?…

My what?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

I’m the opposite. I probably show too much affection and interest

This surprises me!

Not sure if that’s sarcasm or not

Can I be somewhere in between the two of your?…

My what?

Well anything now you mention it….

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By *ortisiaCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I'm probably in the needy crowd as I like communication. But I also get busy and disappear for a few days and would like for you to understand.

Ahh see that’s the hard bit… when you boys do that without any warning it drives some of us a bit …. Whampy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm probably in the needy crowd as I like communication. But I also get busy and disappear for a few days and would like for you to understand.

Ahh see that’s the hard bit… when you boys do that without any warning it drives some of us a bit …. Whampy "

I know. I'd like to say I won't but....

I also do make up for it. It boils down to will we be fwb or just fuck buddies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

I've had this too in the past and never understood why their so needy, I think I was once referred to as an ice queen void of feelings

I'm just not good at showing them but......now I'm that horrible person that used to make me sick, seems I've found the one to give my cuddles

and soppy shit too and I'm not happy about it, it's alien but also slightly nice and very confusing.

So for all the men I used to say are too needy & touchy feely I'll hold my hands up I was mistaken, they just weren't my men.

Mrs "

I'm happy to stay the ice queen devoid of all emotion!

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By *lendermanMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

Just send a tit pic every now and then

If he requires more than that, he is high maintenance. Who needs a high maintenance man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From a woman's side, it's usually control rather than needy. Their interest levels go up and down based on what we do. If they know we are into them they are more likely to not need validation. Second they feel you're losing interest though, they ramp up the communication/attention which can come across as needy.

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By *ruceyyMan over a year ago

London

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

Hey!

No not really. I mean if I like them like wanna sing ballads to them then maybe it's nice but generally especially here, no! Just be flirty and then have sex with me!

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By *hil most chillMan over a year ago

South East & Europe

I think the fact that a woman gets intimate with me gives me all the reassurance I need. I don't need to hear her say it, although it is nice to hear. If I see someone and we have enough fun that we want to do it again, I'm confident she is into me at least a little!

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By *ornucopiaMan over a year ago

Bexley

Because they all realise that I am a good catch, I tend not to bother seeking reassurance. Rather, I tend to hope they won't get clingy.

However, I can feel bad about about women getting too involved.

My preference is for the ones who know I look forward to hearing from them when they call with a reminder that they exist.

"Just checking up on you" is adequate.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yes I think they do. I used to be very affectionate in relationships but not gentleman friends but I learnt how to be.

One friend liked me to bath him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."
FYI, naked photo, picture of boobs etc count as contact.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

I think it's probably men who look for the traditional relationship are that way...needy. Of course that swings both ways does it needy. Personally I find overly affectionate and interested off putting...I like my space.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That should read..does it not*

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By *andC1000Couple over a year ago

Ashford

"I don’t want it constantly but nor do I always want to be the one that initiates every interaction either. I just want to know there’s an equal level of engagement / interest!"

This. Nothing more deflating than being the one always initiating everything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The old saying.."Never be an option always be the priority" springs to mind

Do I need constant affirmation that I'm the priority? Not this bloke, I want to feel wanted not suffocated

I’m not sure that anyone on here is ever the priority or should expect to be! "

We all use the site differently and most likely looking for different things

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"The old saying.."Never be an option always be the priority" springs to mind

Do I need constant affirmation that I'm the priority? Not this bloke, I want to feel wanted not suffocated

I’m not sure that anyone on here is ever the priority or should expect to be! "

Why not?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes I think they do. I used to be very affectionate in relationships but not gentleman friends but I learnt how to be.

One friend liked me to bath him"

Ok that's a no.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes I think they do. I used to be very affectionate in relationships but not gentleman friends but I learnt how to be.

One friend liked me to bath him

Ok that's a no. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

I'm going to presume we're talking about fellow Fab fuck-buddies here rather than serious, feels relationships here.

It's always nice to get attention (coming from a self-proclaimed attention whore

) from the people you like, but I also understand that real life is a thing, and that I'm not the only person they want to talk to. And as I heard somewhere once: nothing operates at 100%, 100% of the time.

So personally I'm happy with excited back and forths, occasional check ins. Or slutty nudes, if you're offering

LvM

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to presume we're talking about fellow Fab fuck-buddies here rather than serious, feels relationships here.

It's always nice to get attention (coming from a self-proclaimed attention whore

So personally I'm happy with excited back and forths, occasional check ins. Or slutty nudes, if you're offering

LvM"

How slutty?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

You declined me more than 29 times … I have mixed messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

You declined me more than 29 times … I have mixed messages.

If I've declined you once then I probably don't want to taste your penis.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

"I'm going to presume we're talking about fellow Fab fuck-buddies here rather than serious, feels relationships here.

It's always nice to get attention (coming from a self-proclaimed attention whore

So personally I'm happy with excited back and forths, occasional check ins. Or slutty nudes, if you're offering

LvM

How slutty?"

Tasteful tits out shot, with "Cum on me LvM" written in lipstick on your body, that should do it

LvM

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to presume we're talking about fellow Fab fuck-buddies here rather than serious, feels relationships here.

It's always nice to get attention (coming from a self-proclaimed attention whore

So personally I'm happy with excited back and forths, occasional check ins. Or slutty nudes, if you're offering

LvM

How slutty?

Tasteful tits out shot, with "Cum on me LvM" written in lipstick on your body, that should do it

LvM"

Where did I put that lipstick...

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By *ycanNightsMan over a year ago

Workington

I dont want to be needed...wanted ...oh yes.

But moods, context and circumstances all come into play about levels and types of communication of that want.

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By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

I don't think I'm needy. I like space and don't need loads of messages (I don't send many either, and sometimes need to learn to read the room better on that, but that's a separate issue).

But that said, I do need to know someone likes me, and will back off quickly if I get the sense they're not that bothered...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

You declined me more than 29 times … I have mixed messages.

If I've declined you once then I probably don't want to taste your penis.

Sorry. It’s no longer a mixed message.

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By *ruceyyMan over a year ago

London

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

She likes me! She really likes me!

Now show me your man-eater

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By *illy IdolMan over a year ago

Midlands

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

Just checked and we're stuck on 19. Send a tit pic just to confirm

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By *rofessor ElementalMan over a year ago

Durham

I need to get out of my head and into your body before, during and after taking a partner into higher and deeper states of pleasure and orgasm so yeah.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan over a year ago

Belfast

I just want you to want me for the short time we have together fucking and that's it

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By *ansoffateMan over a year ago

Sagittarius A

No affection, no desire... meh. You get out what you put in.

If it's there I can be turned on by their tone of voice saying hi. Words and pics can be additive but can't replace that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

Just checked and we're stuck on 19. Send a tit pic just to confirm"

Maths is not your subject.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No affection, no desire... meh. You get out what you put in.

If it's there I can be turned on by their tone of voice saying hi. Words and pics can be additive but can't replace that."

I'm not saying there's no desire. I just can't do the daily messaging and constantly having to tell a guy I like them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I just want you to want me for the short time we have together fucking and that's it

Now this is reasonable

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By *illy IdolMan over a year ago

Midlands

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

Just checked and we're stuck on 19. Send a tit pic just to confirm

Maths is not your subject. "

A* in biology and chemistry though x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd just like to confirm, if I've replied to you more than say, 20 times or were friends. Then I probably kinda like you.

That is as much as you'll get from me.

I'm better in person. I think.

Just checked and we're stuck on 19. Send a tit pic just to confirm

Maths is not your subject.

A* in biology and chemistry though x"

Smooth

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need to get out of my head and into your body before, during and after taking a partner into higher and deeper states of pleasure and orgasm so yeah. "

You could just pass me the wand. Much easier.

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By *ansoffateMan over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"No affection, no desire... meh. You get out what you put in.

If it's there I can be turned on by their tone of voice saying hi. Words and pics can be additive but can't replace that.

I'm not saying there's no desire. I just can't do the daily messaging and constantly having to tell a guy I like them.

Won't lie I quite like all the mushy stuff. But if it's just lust and it's mutual. I'll take a 2am booty call and even bring my own marigolds. Hell I'll even close the front door properly and put the bin out. I'm nice like that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like some of these comments, and they say it better than I could but I think it's situational.

If I'm really into a woman and it's early doors in a relationship. Then I like receiving the affection and feeling of being a priority and being desired by her.

But once we've established that we're a couple Anne or married it switched to ensuring we have solid communication.

What I mean is she can go a while day without messing me but if I needed her then she'd make time.

Also if we're together and I'm trying to speak or she's speaking to me then I make the time to listen and she does for me too.

But surely everyone loves the affectionate touch and cuddles in passing throughout the house.

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By *alsaGuy77Man over a year ago

Macclesfield

For me if you aren't showing enough interest then even if I fancy you I won't go there - we want to desired too. Recently someone basically told me I wasn't her type really but she'd not had much luck so the offer was there. I found her very attractive but I'm worth more than to be treated as a runner up prize.

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By *inky ChefMan over a year ago

Norwich

Do you like C.C.Revival?

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By *o scandalousWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"Worship me!

Oh you sexy beast you!

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By *ir SnakebitesMan over a year ago

Llandeilo

Inthinknitvdepends on the persived connection, if a guybis like that with you, its a goid sign hes into you, ivwoukd imagin youd be more concerned if he was cold and seemed to be un interested, but diffrent peaple have difrent energys and personalitys thevworld is a diverse place

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Generally no it makes me feel suffocated, I would rather they didn’t message every day or expect sane day replies.

Just be chill, have a life outside of me, get on with it and save some special times for me. I think of me now and then & drop me a hi … that’s enough.

Sometimes you meet someone and all that goes to shit, can you become like the women that suffocate you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Generally no it makes me feel suffocated, I would rather they didn’t message every day or expect sane day replies.

Just be chill, have a life outside of me, get on with it and save some special times for me. I think of me now and then & drop me a hi … that’s enough.

Sometimes you meet someone and all that goes to shit, can you become like the women that suffocate you

The first 2 paragraphs, yes!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't need to be constantly texting, but if I am chatting regularly with someone or, heaven forbid, contemplating an actual meet, then yes, she has my attention and so is a priority.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, tell me I'm your best in every way. I'm the largest you've ever seen. That my dick is the most perfect and touched parts that none ever could. That I'm the wittiest. I'm the most educated. I'm the funniest. That as a result of my macho supremacy I've unlocked the next level of depravity within you. That you can't do without me because you worship every atom that makes me, me. Etc etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We don't need to be constantly texting, but if I am chatting regularly with someone or, heaven forbid, contemplating an actual meet, then yes, she has my attention and so is a priority."

How much of a priority?

Good morning texts?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, tell me I'm your best in every way. I'm the largest you've ever seen. That my dick is the most perfect and touched parts that none ever could. That I'm the wittiest. I'm the most educated. I'm the funniest. That as a result of my macho supremacy I've unlocked the next level of depravity within you. That you can't do without me because you worship every atom that makes me, me. Etc etc "

I can offer mediocre blow job instead?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy."

100 fucking %!!

But I don’t need to be told I’m into you or you’re fit etc….much like a morning and good night message from someone I’m interested in!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

100 fucking %!!

But I don’t need to be told I’m into you or you’re fit etc….much like a morning and good night message from someone I’m interested in!!"

Oh not the good morning/night message!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can offer mediocre blow job instead?"

Just so we're on the right page ... You do know there's no blowing involved?

Just that I had this ex that kinda didn't ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I can offer mediocre blow job instead?

Just so we're on the right page ... You do know there's no blowing involved?

Just that I had this ex that kinda didn't ..."

Jeez I only did that the once ok!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We don't need to be constantly texting, but if I am chatting regularly with someone or, heaven forbid, contemplating an actual meet, then yes, she has my attention and so is a priority.

How much of a priority?

Good morning texts? "

If we are actively meeting, possibly. Not everyday. If I see her active online I would probably send one. If I know she's away doing other stuff, with family for instance, I would leave her alone unless she contacted me. It's not totally unheard of.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do like affection but try srnding me a naked photo and i'll see if thats enough

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jeez I only did that the once ok! "

Your training is complete.

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

100 fucking %!!

But I don’t need to be told I’m into you or you’re fit etc….much like a morning and good night message from someone I’m interested in!!

Oh not the good morning/night message!!!!"

Makes my whole evening anxious tbh, if I do goodnight now to get it out the way, then she she’s iv been on fab or WhatsApp after will she get mad ? Does it have to be the last thing I do , but I might forget.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

100 fucking %!!

But I don’t need to be told I’m into you or you’re fit etc….much like a morning and good night message from someone I’m interested in!!

Oh not the good morning/night message!!!!

Or when they message saying "oh I thought you were tired but you're on fab" go away!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

100 fucking %!!

But I don’t need to be told I’m into you or you’re fit etc….much like a morning and good night message from someone I’m interested in!!

Oh not the good morning/night message!!!!

Or when they message saying "oh I thought you were tired but you're on fab" go away!!!

If I saw that I wouldn’t even challenge it, as she’s obviously found someone she’s more interested in.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

I’m weird, depends on the person, some I wish they’d just leave me alone but others it is nice to know they like having you around.

Affection wise I very affectionate. I’ll bum you with a wooden spoon if I like you a lot, but who doesn’t like cuddles.

The mr

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By *heekyDemandCouple over a year ago

Leicester

The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

100 fucking %!!

But I don’t need to be told I’m into you or you’re fit etc….much like a morning and good night message from someone I’m interested in!!

Oh not the good morning/night message!!!!

Or when they message saying "oh I thought you were tired but you're on fab" go away!!!

If I saw that I wouldn’t even challenge it, as she’s obviously found someone she’s more interested in."

Really?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look."

Why not?

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"Specifically men I like. Actually that's a very small group, let's go with all men.

We know that MOST women like to feel needed, wanted and stuff.

Do guys need that? Do you need to know that the woman is fully into you, do you need to hear her say/message how much she likes you? Or, can she just send a naked photo?

I've had one or two (too many to count) tell me I don't show affection and interest enough.

Men are so needy.

I’m the opposite. I probably show too much affection and interest

This surprises me!

Not sure if that’s sarcasm or not

Can I be somewhere in between the two of your?…

My what?

"
ding aling

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By *heekyDemandCouple over a year ago

Leicester

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?"

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS. "

Well I can't argue with that.

Let the hounding begin!

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By *ome a little bit closerMan over a year ago

Out 'n' About

My wife gives and receives affection, we make love, and she's an emotional rollercoaster, we swing, so meet others we are sexually attracted to, but there doesn't need to be any more than that for me, the majority of single women on here seem to be looking for more than swinging, I like the ones who are straightforward about what they want and don't need to beat about the bush

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS. "

Vag power. Yay us women.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Needy to me is clingy

Wanting... Is clingy

I am in no need nor wantage.

Possessiveness is the above irksome.

Do I sit and crave most definitely not.

I converse and engage as and when, we are all busy with WORK most of our days.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS.

Vag power. Yay us women."

Pussy power sounds better

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By *ruceyyMan over a year ago

London

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS.

Vag power. Yay us women."

The power of vagg, the sauciesy of kebabbbss taking my soul....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't like to feel needed...desired is ok depending on how it manifests itself. I've chat to some men where it's been completely over the top and cringy. Hearing the same thing albeit from different folk still gets stale pretty quick. ....that's all as it relates to on here.

In vanilla life if I'm interested in someone I just want my energy to be matched.

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By *ruceyyMan over a year ago

London

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS.

Vag power. Yay us women.

Pussy power sounds better"

Especially with a lisp

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS.

Vag power. Yay us women.

The power of vagg, the sauciesy of kebabbbss taking my soul...."

One of your 5 a day

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS.

Vag power. Yay us women.

Pussy power sounds better

Especially with a lisp"

Are you saying I have a lisp?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it’s just a casual fuck then no, I don’t need to feel needed or wanted. However the best fucks I’ve had have been when there’s been a connection and the female is ‘into’ me. But for a one off not necessary.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good point. But that’s the one sidedness of FAB I’m afraid

"The original post, try to imagine it was written by a man, about women being so needy.

Yeah, not a good look.

Why not?

He would be excoriated, hounded to the point they went UNLOS. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm the least needy person, I actually don't like too much attention.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm the least needy person, I actually don't like too much attention.

Who said that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Coming back to this thread I’ve decided I don’t like the word needy. Is it actually needy though to want a bit of attention/romance/intimacy/affection. I’d say it was pretty normal and you can bet your bottom dollar more people want this on here than will admit it. Yeah a lot won’t as it’s just a fuck to a lot of people and that’s cool too. But needy? Meh

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By *ife NinjaMan over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Coming back to this thread I’ve decided I don’t like the word needy. Is it actually needy though to want a bit of attention/romance/intimacy/affection. I’d say it was pretty normal and you can bet your bottom dollar more people want this on here than will admit it. Yeah a lot won’t as it’s just a fuck to a lot of people and that’s cool too. But needy? Meh "

Who doesn't want to be wanted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I thought what bc attraction a needed orvv bc wanted from a woman would leave to just s hook up/fuck etc, then fine. Gimme a time and place and I’ll be there. But youre right Nora, a lot in here okay this type of thing down and try to undermine how impart ant it is to feel a little bit of passion, a little bit of desire.

I’m not needy, but if they word it like that, sure, I’ve got bc as much needs as the next person, and I know my worth and my boundaries. And often, they’re crossed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ffs. It made sense when I typed the first line.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A bit of attention/affection yes. I guess it's more the constant affirmation that grinds me.

"Oh you've not fabbed my pic"

"Tell me what you like about me"

"What are you going to do to me"

"You talk to X more than me!"

"You best meet me first though"

"You're on fab but you ignored my message"

And then there's the morning texts, the how are you texts.

It's just too much Nora!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

^ people do this???

Oh, I remember one did this to me.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan over a year ago

St Leonards

So my very, very flawed attempt at distilling this:

I "need" intimacy, connection, mutual respect, filth, eye contact, a lot of laughter (sucker for giggling), energetic and adventurous sex, about every month with around 2 days together. Sex and life. Doing stuff.

Doesn't "connect" enough if too brief.

Wanks are easily good enough for the rest of the month, and often better than sex on many levels. And worse too..coz wanks v human stuff is unresolved. Blow jobs are usually worse in pure physical sensations than a wank, but everything else that surrounds blow jobs is off the scale great. That sort of thing.

And I've worked out that I "need" this with 2 or 3 different people, so I'll see each every 2 or 3 months, with messaging to check they're doing all right because I give enough of a shit, but not messaging from loneliness/fear of loss/ownership/control. And there's no foolproof way to find this, but FAB is close-ish, even though we're probably all wearing at least one "mask", likely several.

Also, 2 or 3 times a year I "need" a rampant few hours with someone we both know we'll never meet again, a real itch to scratch for both people, and that I usually find at a nightclub etc, mostly because my weird dancing seems to generate that sort of attention. Enough signposting in the build-up for both people to know it'll be far from mechanical, but nothing more than that night. I've never expected FAB to provide this. For my profile, being out socially is much more spontaneous no strings. And the sex from nightclubs has mostly been better than the sex at swinger clubs/parties, but I also know a 6ft male is pretty safe at a nightclub, when a female may feel safest at a swingers club etc.

So the hard part is the connection bit, because you need to know them well enough to trust they're not full of shit, and your time is well-invested.

You also can't really start the onversation off around boundaries, because both parties are thinking "well, I like the sound of them so far, but they might be a complete fuckup/liar/narcissist/sociopath/control freak/cold fish", and too much early boundary conversation kills it too soon.

And around all that...I think you really need to know yourself at a pretty deep level - because you may think you want a certain thing, but when you dig deeper it's not what you actually want.

So...time spent knowing "more" who and what you are, and then time spent investing in places and people that get close enough to partially, mostly, satisfying that.

Still way too long....

Short bit - know yourself, know the media you use and the social venues you attend, be realistic about what they can and can't offer, sniff out the bullshit (you know...you really do. You might not want to, but you know in your bones when it's bullshit), don't kid yourself, and incorporate it all into where you (roughly) want your life to be headed.

I fuck off now.

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