FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When do you know
When do you know
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You should just give up?
On the whole casual sex/swinging thing?
I'm not been woe is me, I mean, I'm female, always gonna be an advantage on here no matter what you look like or how shit your personality is. (I get a d minus in both yet I can still pull! Go figure)
But could you live a life of no sex? In all honesty, could you?
No flirting
No kissing
No touching
Definitely no penis in vagina stuff.
No orgasms!!!! (Highly overrated anyway)
How important is it for you in life?
I'm beginning to think I actually don't give a shit. I know I know, I hide it so well.
No one actually does "it" for me, hot guys, funny guys, hot and funny guys. Fuck even Ryan can do one.
Or maybe I just need breakfast. Oh hash browns....
Or maybe I need to become a  kinda girl. |
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I think you just know.
I did a year of absolute celibacy when I felt like I needed to reset and refocus. No kissing, no flirting, no masturbation, nothing.
Once I'd got settled in the mindset it was easy enough to just keep things that way. And after about a year I decided I wanted to go back to having sex, and all the lust came flooding back without any issue  |
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"You should just give up? On the whole casual sex/swinging thing?"
If you find yourself not even logging in here for a month or two … and not missing it … maybe that’s a sign.
I dunno, hasn’t happened to me yet.
*shrugging emoji* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every Ops tour was six months without lol
You just need to relax and see waft cones around. Sex wise you know that you’re wanted lots. But that’s not the point, it’s what you want.
Maybe a bearded older guy that likes Yorkshire 
Probably not |
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Depends on what you actually want….
If you want something from here then clearly something needs to change. So it’s working out what you want and how you’re going to get it.
If you actually don’t want sex from here it’s somewhere to pass the time and have a crack. |
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I couldn’t imagine it personally.
Maybe you could just do a long break from it all and see how it affects you.
Or… try something different, go for a different kinda guy from usual, try meeting in a completely different way. |
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"
If you find yourself not even logging in here for a month or two … and not missing it … maybe that’s a sign.
"
Quite opposite for me.
It’s when I log in here everyday and it still feels meh.
That’s a sign. |
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When the fun stops, STOP!
Whatever it is that brings you here, the casual sex, the forums, chatting to the people you enjoy chatting to. If this stops then it's time for a break. For me I gave up pretty quick on the sex thing and just enjoy chatting to a select few and the forums. Sometimes Fab is full of surprises and the sex crops up when you least expect it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think you just know.
I did a year of absolute celibacy when I felt like I needed to reset and refocus. No kissing, no flirting, no masturbation, nothing.
Once I'd got settled in the mindset it was easy enough to just keep things that way. And after about a year I decided I wanted to go back to having sex, and all the lust came flooding back without any issue "
I've done the no sex.
Maybe I need to take away the hope of sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think when you get to the point of feeling like it isn’t working for you anymore, it’s time to take a break and come back when you’re in the right headspace.
I felt the same a while back, questioning if swinging was the right thing for me. I wasn’t getting anywhere and the few that I did like were too far away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Every Ops tour was six months without lol
You just need to relax and see waft cones around. Sex wise you know that you’re wanted lots. But that’s not the point, it’s what you want.
Maybe a bearded older guy that likes Yorkshire
Probably not "
6 months? Times it by 3!
Sex wise, any female is wanted. It's how fab is. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I balance it between normal life so I doubt very much their ever will be a time when it's a full stop as their is connecting with others whom aren't in a rush either and can lead anywhere else |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When the fun stops, STOP!
Whatever it is that brings you here, the casual sex, the forums, chatting to the people you enjoy chatting to. If this stops then it's time for a break. For me I gave up pretty quick on the sex thing and just enjoy chatting to a select few and the forums. Sometimes Fab is full of surprises and the sex crops up when you least expect it."
And if the fun never started....? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Every Ops tour was six months without lol
You just need to relax and see waft cones around. Sex wise you know that you’re wanted lots. But that’s not the point, it’s what you want.
Maybe a bearded older guy that likes Yorkshire
Probably not
6 months? Times it by 3!
Sex wise, any female is wanted. It's how fab is. "
That’s not being picky though it’s being choosy and having what you want. And yeah every woman’s chased I get that. Doesn’t mean you’re not chased for the right reasons though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Every Ops tour was six months without lol
You just need to relax and see waft cones around. Sex wise you know that you’re wanted lots. But that’s not the point, it’s what you want.
Maybe a bearded older guy that likes Yorkshire
Probably not
6 months? Times it by 3!
Sex wise, any female is wanted. It's how fab is.
That’s not being picky though it’s being choosy and having what you want. And yeah every woman’s chased I get that. Doesn’t mean you’re not chased for the right reasons though "
Because I have the right hole.
|
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My libido and desires seem to work on a specific radio frequency with equal peaks and troughs.
What I do find, is that sex is exactly the same as anything where too much can knock the shine off of it. I don't like any bedroom antics to be come too commonplace and a break away exploring other interests often means I can come back with a new vigour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m giving up soon. I have less joy on here than in real life and that’s zero. All the people I like are too far away
Too far away just means road trips though. And road trips are ace."
That runs the risks of all the organisation to be let down tho  |
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"I’m giving up soon. I have less joy on here than in real life and that’s zero. All the people I like are too far away
Too far away just means road trips though. And road trips are ace.
That runs the risks of all the organisation to be let down tho "
It's the risk that is exciting |
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"When the fun stops, STOP!
Whatever it is that brings you here, the casual sex, the forums, chatting to the people you enjoy chatting to. If this stops then it's time for a break. For me I gave up pretty quick on the sex thing and just enjoy chatting to a select few and the forums. Sometimes Fab is full of surprises and the sex crops up when you least expect it.
And if the fun never started....?"
Then you're one day closer to it happening |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m giving up soon. I have less joy on here than in real life and that’s zero. All the people I like are too far away
Too far away just means road trips though. And road trips are ace.
That runs the risks of all the organisation to be let down tho
It's the risk that is exciting"
And the been fucked about and let down is oh so much fun! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When the fun stops, STOP!
Whatever it is that brings you here, the casual sex, the forums, chatting to the people you enjoy chatting to. If this stops then it's time for a break. For me I gave up pretty quick on the sex thing and just enjoy chatting to a select few and the forums. Sometimes Fab is full of surprises and the sex crops up when you least expect it.
And if the fun never started....?
Then you're one day closer to it happening "
Death? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Every Ops tour was six months without lol
You just need to relax and see waft cones around. Sex wise you know that you’re wanted lots. But that’s not the point, it’s what you want.
Maybe a bearded older guy that likes Yorkshire
Probably not
6 months? Times it by 3!
Sex wise, any female is wanted. It's how fab is.
That’s not being picky though it’s being choosy and having what you want. And yeah every woman’s chased I get that. Doesn’t mean you’re not chased for the right reasons though
Because I have the right hole.
"
Haha I guess you can look at it that way, but most guys on here aren’t dicks… generally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think I would struggle massively living life without it.
If I had no other option then yes I suppose I would be able to come to terms with it but intimacy is a divine added bonus in this shitty world that I always want to indulge in. Sex, flirting, attraction and delicious men make life much more exciting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think I would struggle massively living life without it.
If I had no other option then yes I suppose I would be able to come to terms with it but intimacy is a divine added bonus in this shitty world that I always want to indulge in. Sex, flirting, attraction and delicious men make life much more exciting. "
They do if you can let them in your head.
Unfortunately mine is too full of other shit. |
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"You should just give up?
On the whole casual sex/swinging thing?
I'm not been woe is me, I mean, I'm female, always gonna be an advantage on here no matter what you look like or how shit your personality is. (I get a d minus in both yet I can still pull! Go figure)
But could you live a life of no sex? In all honesty, could you?
No flirting
No kissing
No touching
Definitely no penis in vagina stuff.
No orgasms!!!! (Highly overrated anyway)
How important is it for you in life?
I'm beginning to think I actually don't give a shit. I know I know, I hide it so well.
No one actually does "it" for me, hot guys, funny guys, hot and funny guys. Fuck even Ryan can do one.
Or maybe I just need breakfast. Oh hash browns....
Or maybe I need to become a kinda girl. "
I'm a man and have decided hash browns are the future for me  |
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Do I need to send muffins?
I've gone for very long periods of time with absolutely no interest, almost 3 years, and then obviously during lockdown. Mine was mostly down to health issues and probably some medication.
Are you well in yourself? Maybe take some time for self care, get some decent supplements, do the little things that fill you with joy, find a new hobby (doesn't have to involve other people).
I hope you get back what you're missing x |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Have some hash browns.
Watch Midsommar.
You'll find your thing Ravie.
Could I live without sex? Fuck no. I do know that when I have a lot on, when I'm not particularly feeling myself, sex quickly becomes fifth or sixth on my list of priorities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m giving up soon. I have less joy on here than in real life and that’s zero. All the people I like are too far away
Too far away just means road trips though. And road trips are ace.
That runs the risks of all the organisation to be let down tho
It's the risk that is exciting"
It is absolutely not exciting  arranging and paying for dog care, arranging and paying for accommodation, paying for fuel, just to be cancelled? Definitely not exciting |
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"I’m giving up soon. I have less joy on here than in real life and that’s zero. All the people I like are too far away
Too far away just means road trips though. And road trips are ace.
That runs the risks of all the organisation to be let down tho
It's the risk that is exciting
It is absolutely not exciting arranging and paying for dog care, arranging and paying for accommodation, paying for fuel, just to be cancelled? Definitely not exciting "
I was thinking more whether they're a shit shag or not but okay you win  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m giving up soon. I have less joy on here than in real life and that’s zero. All the people I like are too far away
Too far away just means road trips though. And road trips are ace.
That runs the risks of all the organisation to be let down tho
It's the risk that is exciting
It is absolutely not exciting arranging and paying for dog care, arranging and paying for accommodation, paying for fuel, just to be cancelled? Definitely not exciting
I was thinking more whether they're a shit shag or not but okay you win "
Next question: is a shit shag better than no shag? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I’m giving up soon. I have less joy on here than in real life and that’s zero. All the people I like are too far away
Too far away just means road trips though. And road trips are ace.
That runs the risks of all the organisation to be let down tho
It's the risk that is exciting
It is absolutely not exciting arranging and paying for dog care, arranging and paying for accommodation, paying for fuel, just to be cancelled? Definitely not exciting "
I get where you're coming from. I've tried looking at local meets and there's a definite pattern emerging. No results.
So I looked at an alternative. I plan ahead. With people I've already met, or have been chatting to (offline as well as on) for a long, long time. I choose places where even if shit could happen and my company has an emergency that means they can't come, there'll be something to keep me occupied and entertained. Of course I want the person to show up. But I don't put faith in anyone that I have the slightest doubt would dick me around and cancel on a whim.
Those people are out there. They're the ones to focus on, not those that make endless promises online that they'll never let you down, who then do just that. It may take time and effort to find them, but when you do it's worth it.  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I think that when it feels like a chore and it’s habitual as opposed to being fun, when you’re not getting anything positive or what you want from what you’re doing, then change what you’re doing and how. If it’s fab, then change it or leave it. |
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