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Help help a little assistance please
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
Dear Forumites
This is not a rate my profile thread.
My profile is somewhat lacking, to be fair I’ve been considering it for years and have come up with nothing.
Now some of you know me a little, some a lot and some not a dot, it really doesn’t matter,
Send me a one liner to add to my profile, the best will be going in.
Come on help a girl out, I need to attract those illusive males of the species and entice them into wanting to part take in non PG activities with me.
Thank you in advance for your asdistance Knitter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I didn't get past the pictures of your boobs.. where was I yeah more boobs..
I could only offer generic advice..
I use the I.C,E. Formula
Interesting, captivating, enticing with your words and pictures.
.
P.S don't forget the boobs    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got it, you need a veri off Mr TT2 every profile needs one however there is a downside, this would mean you'd have to meet me TT2 and that's something nobody should have to do willingly |
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"I've got it, you need a veri off Mr TT2 every profile needs one however there is a downside, this would mean you'd have to meet me TT2 and that's something nobody should have to do willingly "
Oi! Stop borrowing my ideas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got it, you need a veri off Mr TT2 every profile needs one however there is a downside, this would mean you'd have to meet me TT2 and that's something nobody should have to do willingly
Oi! Stop borrowing my ideas.
I should really read the comments
But I'm not sorry may the best pork sword win mwahahaha  "
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"‘Having given this some thought I have nothing to add’ 
This^
You could put on there "farting is my hobby" and you will still get interest. Men are from Mars"
Bodily functions are way out |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
So heres what we have so far.
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirls in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirls out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Knitter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So heres what we have so far.
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirls in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirls out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Knitter"
Perfect  I’d smash your back doors in  |
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"So heres what we have so far.
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirls in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirls out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Knitter
Perfect I’d smash your back doors in "
Perfect, got me craving your body ,now get those knickers off |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"So heres what we have so far.
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirls in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirls out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Knitter
Perfect I’d smash your back doors in "
**wiggles bottom for Fluffy** |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"*wiggles seductively in* and suggests offering massages to the men folk... failing that, decorate their appendages with glitter and googly eyes, then feed them Jaffa cakes"
Oh my goodness thats so much cooler than twirlimg.
Quick question can I replace the jaffa cakes with cookies? |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Did I miss a reference to your new found love of glitter? "
Good point amended.
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirls in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirls out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
BTW if you don't like glitter WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Nothing to see here, go back to where you found me. And stop p... er, peeking at my pics
Knitter
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Forumites
This is not a rate my profile thread.
My profile is somewhat lacking, to be fair I’ve been considering it for years and have come up with nothing.
Now some of you know me a little, some a lot and some not a dot, it really doesn’t matter,
Send me a one liner to add to my profile, the best will be going in.
Come on help a girl out, I need to attract those illusive males of the species and entice them into wanting to part take in non PG activities with me.
Thank you in advance for your asdistance Knitter."
you dont have to cater to a certain demographic. Just be yourself |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Wanna lay your head on my lap?
It’s not going to help me calm down, but yes. Yes I do."
Come on sweetness lay down and I can stroke your hair and whisper naughty thoughts |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Dear Forumites
This is not a rate my profile thread.
My profile is somewhat lacking, to be fair I’ve been considering it for years and have come up with nothing.
Now some of you know me a little, some a lot and some not a dot, it really doesn’t matter,
Send me a one liner to add to my profile, the best will be going in.
Come on help a girl out, I need to attract those illusive males of the species and entice them into wanting to part take in non PG activities with me.
Thank you in advance for your asdistance Knitter. you dont have to cater to a certain demographic. Just be yourself "
Thank you thats wonderful advise |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
Here it is folks my new profile 
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirls in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirl out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, there maybe a war and m the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a little boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
BTW if you don't like glitter WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Nothing to see here, go back to where you found me. And stop p... er, peeking at my pics
Knitter
|
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Come on sweetness lay down and I can stroke your hair and whisper naughty thoughts
I think I just actually swooned.
"
I think the girl swoons butI got ya **open arms to catch RGT** |
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"Dear Forumites
This is not a rate my profile thread.
My profile is somewhat lacking, to be fair I’ve been considering it for years and have come up with nothing.
Now some of you know me a little, some a lot and some not a dot, it really doesn’t matter,
Send me a one liner to add to my profile, the best will be going in.
Come on help a girl out, I need to attract those illusive males of the species and entice them into wanting to part take in non PG activities with me.
Thank you in advance for your asdistance Knitter."
,,I'm more into average size, than hung guys. Love a little belly too and don't be too handsome. Not into tall guys either,sorry.''
Your profile would be the most successful female profile on Fab. Guaranteed!
|
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Dear Forumites
This is not a rate my profile thread.
My profile is somewhat lacking, to be fair I’ve been considering it for years and have come up with nothing.
Now some of you know me a little, some a lot and some not a dot, it really doesn’t matter,
Send me a one liner to add to my profile, the best will be going in.
Come on help a girl out, I need to attract those illusive males of the species and entice them into wanting to part take in non PG activities with me.
Thank you in advance for your asdistance Knitter.
,,I'm more into average size, than hung guys. Love a little belly too and don't be too handsome. Not into tall guys either,sorry.''
Your profile would be the most successful female profile on Fab. Guaranteed!
"
Totally in  |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"[Removed by poster at 05/10/23 23:30:18]
I ypu guys but ermmmm nope no never
Is that us you're talking about?
Yes yes and yes
Good to know you love us. Might have to do something with that. "
Fyi thats me with a flirt on |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirl in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirl out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
BTW if you don't like glitter WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.
,I'm more into average size, than hung guys. Love a little belly too and don't be too handsome..''
I also have nipples. Menz love the nipples.
I love wanking.
And am a sporting season ticket holder, golf, football and rugby.
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Nothing to see here, go back to where you found me. And stop p... er, peeking at my pics
Knitter
|
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"I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirl in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirl out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
BTW if you don't like glitter WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.
,I'm more into average size, than hung guys. Love a little belly too and don't be too handsome..''
I also have nipples. Menz love the nipples.
I love wanking.
And am a sporting season ticket holder, golf, football and rugby.
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Nothing to see here, go back to where you found me. And stop p... er, peeking at my pics
Knitter
"
Well I'm slightly aroused, especially at the thought of you needing a verify from a terrible twosome.
Just in case you missed it, you spelled "little" wrong. (you put "lottle". |
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"I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirl in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirl out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
BTW if you don't like glitter WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.
,I'm more into average size, than hung guys. Love a little belly too and don't be too handsome..''
I also have nipples. Menz love the nipples.
I love wanking.
And am a sporting season ticket holder, golf, football and rugby.
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Nothing to see here, go back to where you found me. And stop p... er, peeking at my pics
Knitter
"
More ass not just boobs please! Then you're done. |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirl in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirl out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a lottle boob.
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles.I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
BTW if you don't like glitter WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.
,I'm more into average size, than hung guys. Love a little belly too and don't be too handsome..''
I also have nipples. Menz love the nipples.
I love wanking.
And am a sporting season ticket holder, golf, football and rugby.
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Nothing to see here, go back to where you found me. And stop p... er, peeking at my pics
Knitter
Well I'm slightly aroused, especially at the thought of you needing a verify from a terrible twosome.
Just in case you missed it, you spelled "little" wrong. (you put "lottle". "
Thank you. FIXED |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
Okay I think Ive got this nailed.
I'll have you in stitches and rarely drop one.
I'll Twirl in, ruffle your plumage, get ignored, and twirl out.
My already-fabulous profile is missing is a verification from a certain gentleman with a rose coloured view. So to fix that, we should get together. Immediately. Or at least imminently. Then I can say Mmmmmm….Oooo yeah; I want it right there….’
I am interesting, captivating, and enticing.
I am also missing a verification from a terrible twosome, every profile needs one. However, may the best pork sword win mwahahaha
Knit one, perl one. Or take up crochet. Apparently as a female can write any shite and get guys. I just need to show a little boob and some bottom. I also have nipples. Menz love the nipples and I am a sporting season ticket holder..
Not only do I twirl fellas but on a good day I bounce. **bounces in** You can't pounce if you got no bounce.**bounces out**
So guys spin me a yarn and you might get me hook,row and line. we might click like knitting needles. I like my men like my balls of yarn, manageable.
Damn you autocorrect. My user name should be, "kinkster!"
BTW if you don't like glitter WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.
,I'm more into average size, than hung guys. Love a little belly too and don't be too handsome..''
Having given this some thought I have nothing more to add’
Nothing to see here, go back to where you found me. And stop peeking at my pics
Knitter
|
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"No Knitter. I will not. If you can't be bothered to write your own profile how can you expect any lovely self respecting man to do you till you are done.
I'm not your mum.
Know thyself !"
Ah come on Granny can"t you help a girl out? Im trying to get a little doink here. |
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"No Knitter. I will not. If you can't be bothered to write your own profile how can you expect any lovely self respecting man to do you till you are done.
I'm not your mum.
Know thyself !
Ah come on Granny can"t you help a girl out? Im trying to get a little doink here."
If you really want doinking , take all those pussy pics off your profile and put some effort in! No man wants to see your foof over the cooker top ... try getting to a social and getting yourslf known. Then in a few months or a year maybe someone will speak to you on their own. You don't stand out much to be fair. |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"No Knitter. I will not. If you can't be bothered to write your own profile how can you expect any lovely self respecting man to do you till you are done.
I'm not your mum.
Know thyself !
Ah come on Granny can"t you help a girl out? Im trying to get a little doink here.
If you really want doinking , take all those pussy pics off your profile and put some effort in! No man wants to see your foof over the cooker top ... try getting to a social and getting yourslf known. Then in a few months or a year maybe someone will speak to you on their own. You don't stand out much to be fair."
Hey getting that foof shot over the cooker top did take effort. Whats wrong with my foof? I thought if I just put loads of foof shots on my profile I"d attract all the boys.
**takes notes on social** how do I get an invite Granny?
The standing out thing is an issue, what if I add more foof shots, will that help? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Forumites
This is not a rate my profile thread.
My profile is somewhat lacking, to be fair I’ve been considering it for years and have come up with nothing.
Now some of you know me a little, some a lot and some not a dot, it really doesn’t matter,
Send me a one liner to add to my profile, the best will be going in.
Come on help a girl out, I need to attract those illusive males of the species and entice them into wanting to part take in non PG activities with me.
Thank you in advance for your asdistance Knitter."
Would help if you actually filled your profile description in |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Dear Forumites
This is not a rate my profile thread.
My profile is somewhat lacking, to be fair I’ve been considering it for years and have come up with nothing.
Now some of you know me a little, some a lot and some not a dot, it really doesn’t matter,
Send me a one liner to add to my profile, the best will be going in.
Come on help a girl out, I need to attract those illusive males of the species and entice them into wanting to part take in non PG activities with me.
Thank you in advance for your asdistance Knitter.
Would help if you actually filled your profile description in"
Dude Im working on it |
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By *nitter OP Woman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
""Need my pussy filling NOW!!"
Need my foof filling NOW!! Will that work?
It's certainly worth a try. It's more appealing than my uncouth language.  "
Awesome its in |
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