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You won’t believe it but…
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"They’re actually conjoined twins, joined at the hip. The profile pic hides it well."
Created and owns the third largest hadron collider in the world. Sadly he doesn’t have the space for it so had to build it in his shed and loop it around itself over and over. The downside of this is that this inadvertently caused a time loop, not unlike Groundhog Day |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"He has a penchant for Martini and Lemonade but hides it constantly in an Ovaltine mug "
Is so named because they have an ongoing litigation with Sesame Street and can’t call themselves ‘the other name’ |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Actually works for the University of Sydney."
His family created the original teabag and was famously wealthy but they lost it all in the great giraffe racing farce of 1876. It’s still a sore point to this day, especially amongst giraffes |
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"Actually works for the University of Sydney.
His family created the original teabag and was famously wealthy but they lost it all in the great giraffe racing farce of 1876. It’s still a sore point to this day, especially amongst giraffes "
Isn't actually a _ea monkey but a coffee orangutan ... and usually naps in a blanket fort |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Has financial backing by Richard Branson all because he saved Branson from a grenade in naam "
Dresses up like Batman every night and runs around robbing folks, just to ‘teach that bastard Bruce a lesson’. No one knows what that lesson is |
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"Has financial backing by Richard Branson all because he saved Branson from a grenade in naam
Dresses up like Batman every night and runs around robbing folks, just to ‘teach that bastard Bruce a lesson’. No one knows what that lesson is"
Always eats soup with a straw |
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"Jools and the brain first met whilst filming a bodyform commercial. He was one of the cameramen whilst she was rollerskating in her bikini."
Something good has found you can have too much of a good thing and has hidden their profile to limit the tens of thousands of messages from women that they receive. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Spat on my cock and jerked it. But I went soft. True story.
He has the worst blanket collection  "
For several years, believed that the toy rocking horse in their bedroom was a real horse. They had a full grooming schedule, feeding routine and mucking out chores for it. It wasn’t until recent years that they began to question where the manure came from |
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"Spat on my cock and jerked it. But I went soft. True story.
He has the worst blanket collection
For several years, believed that the toy rocking horse in their bedroom was a real horse. They had a full grooming schedule, feeding routine and mucking out chores for it. It wasn’t until recent years that they began to question where the manure came from "
Dumper of the manure |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Still believes in Santa Claus
Still eats alphabetti spaghetti
Watches rugrats when hungover and has a cry when chucky gets a new mom 3"
Once got so lost in B&M that by the time the staff found them, they’d invented their own language and had a pet flowerpot called Watson |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Still believes in Santa Claus
Is a real life bus wanker. She gets so turned on by double deckers that she can’t help but fap every time she sees one"
He's a double decker bus driver. |
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"Still believes in Santa Claus
Is a real life bus wanker. She gets so turned on by double deckers that she can’t help but fap every time she sees one
He's a double decker bus driver."
She’s very contrary.  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Still believes in Santa Claus
Is a real life bus wanker. She gets so turned on by double deckers that she can’t help but fap every time she sees one
He enjoys eating toast in the bath"
Has an ongoing argument with the local post office because they believe that the post boxes are goblins that eat their letters |
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"Do not actually own a coffee table
That is actually true, small kids sharpe corners 
The mr "
Dont actually have any kids just loads of little yellow dudes that speak funny and assist them in their quest for global dominance.... |
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"In a past life we were married and ruled over large parts of Northern Europe, she would bathe in champagne and liked to do birdsong impressions when I was licking her clit  "
Likes watching unicycle racing late at night! |
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"In a past life we were married and ruled over large parts of Northern Europe, she would bathe in champagne and liked to do birdsong impressions when I was licking her clit
Likes watching unicycle racing late at night! "
Once climbed Everest in nothing but a thong  |
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"He's actually a hermit who spends his time arranging his pasta collection into shapes
She hires a team of meerkats to brush her hair."
He eats the last Rolo but only sucks all the chocolate off and puts it back in the pack |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Birmingham Airport Hotel |
"He's actually a hermit who spends his time arranging his pasta collection into shapes
She hires a team of meerkats to brush her hair.
He eats the last Rolo but only sucks all the chocolate off and puts it back in the pack "
Unfortunately she was in a freak deep throat accident that destroyed her vocal chords. Due to the miracle of science, she became the recipient of the worlds first larynx transplant. The Donor (A Mr Sidney James) left an element of his spirit within them, so whenever she sees a pair of tits, she lets out a Phwoar.... Her laugh is unmistakable too... |
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"He's actually a hermit who spends his time arranging his pasta collection into shapes
She hires a team of meerkats to brush her hair.
He eats the last Rolo but only sucks all the chocolate off and puts it back in the pack
Unfortunately she was in a freak deep throat accident that destroyed her vocal cords. Due to the miracle of science, she became the recipient of the worlds first larynx transplant. The Donor (A Mr Sidney James) left an element of his spirit within them, so whenever she sees a pair of tits, she lets out a Phwoar.... Her laugh is unmistakable too... "
I cannot tell you how much I love this  |
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Is part of the SBS training programme , teaching the troops how to hold their breath for prolonged periods in very wet conditions. Also a due to a birth defect she cannot pronounce the word crouton without farting |
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Are both secret agents sent to Fab to infiltrate the Sydney University mission to destroy “the sex”
They are currently hiding in plain sight but their cover could be blown soon due to a liking for kink |
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"Are both secret agents sent to Fab to infiltrate the Sydney University mission to destroy “the sex”
They are currently hiding in plain sight but their cover could be blown soon due to a liking for kink "
Beef. Burn protocol now! 
J |
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"Was the stunt double for the Mountain in G o T. Also does the voice of the biker baby in the Fairy Liquid ads"
Was the first person to ask Bob Holness, “can I have a ‘P’ please Bob” in the iconic quiz show Blockbusters and so created a legend! |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Birmingham Airport Hotel |
Linda May Simmons is the secret lovechild of Rock Legends Gene Simmons and Brian May. To ensure the truth is never revealed, she removes the hyphen from her double barreled surname. |
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"Linda May Simmons is the secret lovechild of Rock Legends Gene Simmons and Brian May. To ensure the truth is never revealed, she removes the hyphen from her double barreled surname. "
He was channing tatums bum double in magic mike |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Birmingham Airport Hotel |
"Linda May Simmons is the secret lovechild of Rock Legends Gene Simmons and Brian May. To ensure the truth is never revealed, she removes the hyphen from her double barreled surname.
He was channing tatums bum double in magic mike"
I'll take that for the win |
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"Linda May Simmons is the secret lovechild of Rock Legends Gene Simmons and Brian May. To ensure the truth is never revealed, she removes the hyphen from her double barreled surname.
He was channing tatums bum double in magic mike
I'll take that for the win "
You have quite a spectacular bum x |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Birmingham Airport Hotel |
"Linda May Simmons is the secret lovechild of Rock Legends Gene Simmons and Brian May. To ensure the truth is never revealed, she removes the hyphen from her double barreled surname.
He was channing tatums bum double in magic mike
I'll take that for the win
You have quite a spectacular bum x"
Thank you!  |
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"He's actually a hermit who spends his time arranging his pasta collection into shapes
She hires a team of meerkats to brush her hair.
He eats the last Rolo but only sucks all the chocolate off and puts it back in the pack "
Sharing is caring and I'm a funshine bear  |
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"Linda May Simmons is the secret lovechild of Rock Legends Gene Simmons and Brian May. To ensure the truth is never revealed, she removes the hyphen from her double barreled surname.
He was channing tatums bum double in magic mike
I'll take that for the win
You have quite a spectacular bum x
Thank you! "
You're most welcome x |
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