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Why are you not guilty of escaping from prison?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Daniel Khalife pleading not guilty of escaping from Wandsworth prison is brilliant  .
JOKINGLY, tell me how you would convince a jury that you were not guilty of escaping from prison if you were him! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My favourite from twitter:
"prison serves to prop up the illusion that the rest of society is 'free', your honour, so I cannot have 'escaped' in any meaningful sense." |
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"Daniel Khalife pleading not guilty of escaping from Wandsworth prison is brilliant .
JOKINGLY, tell me how you would convince a jury that you were not guilty of escaping from prison if you were him! "
I was sleepwalking your honour I didn't realise I was out until the van stopped and I fell out from underneath . |
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"Daniel Khalife pleading not guilty of escaping from Wandsworth prison is brilliant .
JOKINGLY, tell me how you would convince a jury that you were not guilty of escaping from prison if you were him! "
My wheels got caught up in the delivery truck strapping and I was therefore unwillingly dragged away from my confinement. Wasn't my fault, Your Honour  |
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I only popped out for a last minute meet from fab.
When I got there the 28yr old gorgeous bi female and her two girlfriends turned out to be a 47 yr old 20 stone truck driver called Dennis who tied me to the bottom of his truck in his cum splattered bed sheets. 
Honest guv. |
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Well your learned lud. Your majesty.
I have this kink of sticking my cock into exhaust pipes of vehicles and shagging them, this is what I was doing when my cock got stuck and the van drove away.
I was only able to let go when the exhaust pressure had built up so much it ejected me at great speed and distance,at this point we had travelled a fair distance from the prison and I didn't know where I was.
So I just happened upon a push bike which I borrowed and was going to return I was trying to make my way back to the prison along a canal towpath when I was set upon by some plain clothed ruffian.
In summary your highness I wasn't trying to escape I was only in fact guilty of the lesser offence of having intercourse with a stationary vehicle.
Honest |
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‘I’m not guilty your honour; I was suddenly and completely randomly visited by and subsequently channelled the consciousness of an intergalactic being named….erm….Dave.
Well, see, Dave wished to see the outside world and promptly seized control of my corporeal form and marched me off out the blooming gate completely against my will….’
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d say that technically I shouldn’t be able to escape a prison
If I have it’s because the prison isn’t actually an enclosed system, rather it open and the entire world is part of the prison
So I didn’t exhale. I just wondered into an area if the prison I shouldn’t have been able to
And that’s your fault |
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Well m'lud, it's physics innit. From my relativistic frame of reference I was just lying there and the prison moved away from me in space time.
Laws of physics you see, can't change em.
*partridge shrug*
B |
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