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Good vs Bad.
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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I was reading a thread, as you do, and someone posted about being a good person or a bad person - essentially if you're a bad person you wouldn't say that.
So... how do you see yourself?
Are you a good person? Are you aware/ comfortable with the less desirable traits you may have? |
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I am essentially good as I'm fairly empathetic, so I don't like hurting people. I'm moral within my own framework, which would not be current societies. But I believe we should all be excellent to one another. I'm probably too lazy and too selfish to be very good, though. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I’m positively angelic lovely xxx 
But seriously; I know my faults but thankfully they’re not of the worst variety."
I was so close to believing the angelic claim that was reinforced by that emote.
Now I'm not so sure. Gutted. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Am bad at being good. But good at being bad...
Does that make me badly confused..?  "
Interesting. It feels a bit early for such deep thinking on the fora. You're probably a pro baddie.
And that's okay.  |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Oh I'm chaotic neutral. At a push chaotic good.
Take a look at the DnD alignment chart and despite it being from DnD, it is accurate to reality. "
Especially the one with modern pop culture/movie references. |
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I would consider myself a good person, even if life throws lemons at times I don't take it out on others and I'm still there for friends.
My views are my own, I don't seek validation from others very strong minded can be hot headed but I don't look for trouble or start them. I can get along with most people and would trust a person with caution until they show they can't be trusted.
I don't impose myself on others and still have a number of people that love me for me just like I love them back  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to be very good and I think many would still see me like that, but possibly the closest people to me would know my bad traits (though mainly my bad is in my head and I am not Richard Kuklinski)  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I am a good person.
I'm abrasive and hostile and overly open and a great many things that could be considered negative.
But at heart, I'm a good person "
I think that's sort of it really. People interpret your behaviour based on their own biases a good deal of the time - like confidence/cockiness.
I think if you know what you are deep down, that's possibly all that matters? I don't know! Thinking (well typing) out loud here really. |
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(Mr)
I like to think I'm a good person but like everyone I get bad thoughts, I hope I can keep on the right side.
We, me & miss, will be in Manchester at weekend, let us show you how good/bad we are first hand  |
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I like to think I'm a good person, I'm generally kind, caring, compassionate and will genuinely help anyone.
However I can also be a cunt when needed, I can be stubborn and I have the patience of a toddler at times.
Sometimes well quite often I'm too nice for my own good, I need to learn to say no and be selfish at times but I struggle with that.
The Mr says my niceness and his cuntishness make us a decent whole person, which is kinda true.
Mrs |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Everyone believes that they’re a good person, even the racist bigots believe that they’re justified and doing the right things.
In reality the vast majority of people are in the shades of grey in the middle. As with so much in life, it’s all about perspective. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Oh I'm chaotic neutral. At a push chaotic good.
Take a look at the DnD alignment chart and despite it being from DnD, it is accurate to reality. "
Oh I'm going to look this up! Thank you for the recommendation, this sort of thing is very interesting. Anything is with chaotic in it to be honest. |
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I’m a sarcastic bitch. I don’t do hearts & flowers romance. I have a temper.
But I have a big heart. I’ll give my last pound to a stranger. I give my all to make people happy, safe & well.
So I’m in the main, good I think. |
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"I was reading a thread, as you do, and someone posted about being a good person or a bad person - essentially if you're a bad person you wouldn't say that.
So... how do you see yourself?
Are you a good person? Are you aware/ comfortable with the less desirable traits you may have? "
Fully aware of the good and bad traits of my character, actively true to be in my assets not my more unsavory side....but its on any given, some days I wanna be a cunt, because I'm not doing well internally, what I've learnt is my misery loves misery.. |
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Shades of grey, as always. Few people are all bad, just as almost nobody is a genuine saint.
We strive to be good, and treat people with kindness and respect. Occasionally we fall short, but nobody is perfect and people shouldn't expect us to be - although we have been held to that standard by some, who themselves come nowhere close Xx |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
I don’t know maybe it’s not for me to say maybe somewhere in middle
Try to be good, always doing things for useless friends that they should be capable of doing selves, do tend to put those closest to me first, have even done work cheap or for free for people that were a bit down on their luck ect
But on flip side unintentionally can be bad there are times I’ve been unnecessary stubborn, shouted at the kids when they were younger, have little time for my mother and get a bit annoyed when she visits too often ect |
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"Good and bad is a bag of shite.
Owning all the parts of yourself - those you like, and those you don't - is more important, I think. We're all a mixture.
Mrs TMN x"
This. This to the moon and back x |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Shades of grey, as always. Few people are all bad, just as almost nobody is a genuine saint.
We strive to be good, and treat people with kindness and respect. Occasionally we fall short, but nobody is perfect and people shouldn't expect us to be - although we have been held to that standard by some, who themselves come nowhere close Xx"
It's always good to read you.
Yes; I think that there can be a tendency to hold people up to particular standards whilst falling short of them yourself. I've been reading up on shadow work after a lover suggested it recently - it's fascinating how it manifests. Even on the fora (forums but really it's fora). |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Oh I'm chaotic neutral. At a push chaotic good.
Take a look at the DnD alignment chart and despite it being from DnD, it is accurate to reality.
Oh I'm going to look this up! Thank you for the recommendation, this sort of thing is very interesting. Anything is with chaotic in it to be honest. "
Let me know how you find it and think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know my Traits and thankfully they aren't all bad.. Although I've been told I'm a "Bad Boy" which apparently is appealing at times
I'm apparently good at checking how Level certain objects are (OP)..
But I'm ok I guess |
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Some people believe themselves to be bad people. They've been told it so many times. That can lead to an obsessive need to be right or 'good'.
I was told by the person who knows me best: 'you are the bad boy who would never hurt me.' She assured me this was a huge compliment: but that's her. I understand what she means.
I know my shadow very well. I look at it as: the Cherokee Tale of the two wolves.
I have put a lot into reading philosophy and ethics. One element caught my mind and placed my search for the 'answer.'. Intelligent people can justify almost any decision by applying a moral code. Being ethical is owning that and accepting if your actions are consistent with what you feel to be right. I can say that I do this and take responsibility for my part. It is a matter of self-respect.
My most painful dilemmas are those between love and self-respect. |
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I suppose this boils down to the question of whether we are who we are, or we are what we do. For example, does wishing harm on someone make you a bad person if you wouldn't actually do them that harm - or indeed, would act to help them if needed?
I'm not sure people have a core that is good or bad. I have gone out of my way to help people in the past in ways that have had a negative impact on my life - so I'm good, right? Except at other times I've done the wrong thing to try to avoid negative consequences to me, and in effect passed the potential for those consequences to someone else. So I'm bad.
I think we're a bundle of thoughts and instincts, strengths and weaknesses capable of moments of courage and cowardice, and in a given moment, under specific stressors, we could jump either way. |
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I don't think I've met too many people who see themselves as bad people, even some truly bad ones, or so it plainly seems to me!
These days bored, boorish or just frustrated and discontent people can join the wildly-paranoid but certainly-global 'Anti-Woke' war (to save our future from madness etc). There is nothing like joining a totally asymmetrical and ambiguously 'just' war against Them for the future of mankind to make you feel great about yourself!
And it's a thing imo, a real war. For the side of Truth and for what is 'Good'. How can anyone be bad fighting for that?
(As ever, I am EWO - excluding Wonko obviously)
pt |
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"I don't think I've met too many people who see themselves as bad people, even some truly bad ones, or so it plainly seems to me!
These days bored, boorish or just frustrated and discontent people can join the wildly-paranoid but certainly-global 'Anti-Woke' war (to save our future from madness etc). There is nothing like joining a totally asymmetrical and ambiguously 'just' war against Them for the future of mankind to make you feel great about yourself!
And it's a thing imo, a real war. For the side of Truth and for what is 'Good'. How can anyone be bad fighting for that?
(As ever, I am EWO - excluding Wonko obviously)
pt"
Thats not what those who call out the woke nonsense are fighting against.
And you know that |
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"Shades of grey, as always. Few people are all bad, just as almost nobody is a genuine saint.
We strive to be good, and treat people with kindness and respect. Occasionally we fall short, but nobody is perfect and people shouldn't expect us to be - although we have been held to that standard by some, who themselves come nowhere close Xx
It's always good to read you.
Yes; I think that there can be a tendency to hold people up to particular standards whilst falling short of them yourself. I've been reading up on shadow work after a lover suggested it recently - it's fascinating how it manifests. Even on the fora (forums but really it's fora)."
I always enjoy the questions you pose. You encourage me reflect. Shadow work? Intriguing. Tell me more, if you care to share Xx |
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"I don't think I've met too many people who see themselves as bad people, even some truly bad ones, or so it plainly seems to me!
These days bored, boorish or just frustrated and discontent people can join the wildly-paranoid but certainly-global 'Anti-Woke' war (to save our future from madness etc). There is nothing like joining a totally asymmetrical and ambiguously 'just' war against Them for the future of mankind to make you feel great about yourself!
And it's a thing imo, a real war. For the side of Truth and for what is 'Good'. How can anyone be bad fighting for that?
(As ever, I am EWO - excluding Wonko obviously)
pt
Thats not what those who call out the woke nonsense are fighting against.
And you know that
"
I didn't say what they are fighting against.
Those people know what they are fighting 'for' for sure (truth, and goodness ostensibly, - ok and 'freedom' too - but that's the paranoid freedom to do whatever they personally want really, as their freedoms are colossal anyway imo), but that they don't really have much of an idea what they are fighting *against* ('Them' typically) is my whole point here. How do you even define 'woke' in any pejorative (ie negative) sense? They have more freedom than anyone has in history really.
pt |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Shades of grey, as always. Few people are all bad, just as almost nobody is a genuine saint.
We strive to be good, and treat people with kindness and respect. Occasionally we fall short, but nobody is perfect and people shouldn't expect us to be - although we have been held to that standard by some, who themselves come nowhere close Xx
It's always good to read you.
Yes; I think that there can be a tendency to hold people up to particular standards whilst falling short of them yourself. I've been reading up on shadow work after a lover suggested it recently - it's fascinating how it manifests. Even on the fora (forums but really it's fora).
I always enjoy the questions you pose. You encourage me reflect. Shadow work? Intriguing. Tell me more, if you care to share Xx"
Oh, I'm more than happy to!
So shadow work is essentially looking at parts of your psyche that you might consider undesirable. Like certain behavioural traits, "baggage", emotional trauma etc that may cause you to respond in a particular way (triggers).
They're the parts of your personality that you might see easily in others but reject/be in denial about when it comes to yourself for a myriad of reasons. I thought it neatly tied in with what you said in your first post because we do have a blind spot when it comes to our own behaviour but will more easily lambast others for doing the same thing.
An example could be if you find yourself getting irked by a particular behaviour and are unaware that you yourself exhibit it.
It can help with self actualisation, with understanding yourself better. Coming to terms with the whole of you - positive and negative.
I don't believe people (for the most part) are inherently good or bad - we're a complicated jumble of emotions, reactions, just muddling through life. Imperfectly perfect in all our nuances.
I find looking at human behaviour, even more so personal behaviour, fascinating, challenging at times but rewarding.
I've really waffled on here! I hadn't really heard much about it recently but I'm enjoying dipping my toes in to it now. |
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but I’m aground middle of the road and true taurean 
Em x