After seeing lots of threads recently, surrounding rejection, abuse and entitlement..
I wanted to share a lesson taught to me by a peer of mine...
He told me "just because I feel a certain way, I dont need to behave in a certain way" and not to "make an permanent decision on a temporary emotion".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am less reactive these days. Though some comments will get under my skin if they are personal.
And to be fair in the last few month it's been a lot more personal and nasty.
Yet in some cases I've still put the phone down and walked away and come back and either posted later or left it altogether. I just find I word things better once I've given myself time to process.
And in life if someone says something that I find hurtful or upsetting I've learned to replace the words 'fuck you' with 'I'm processing' instead. It buys me time. And then I go back and say fuck you in a hell of a lot more words, clearly and calmly and it's ten times more effective. |
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It's something I've never really understood.
It's not like blurting something out when arguing with someone face to face.
typing a message takes forethought and you've always the moment of pause before you hit the send button.
Oftentimes I've typed up a response to something on one of more the incendiary threads that pop up... and more often than not I delete it before I post because ultimately it's just not worth the time or effort.
Move on, let it go... it really does not matter at all, especially here in Fab Forums.
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"I could have put my least reply 'there' in here. People can get drawn into things out of various different frustrations on here I think.
pt"
My 'last' reply I meant, ie my late post in the full thread couldn't been posted here instead.
I think we all do it at some point, but there is something actually about Fab that needs that extra little filter from people I think.
pt |
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