FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > This chat's a bit crap isn't it?
This chat's a bit crap isn't it?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
I've been talking to a friend this evening about lacklustre chat.
What do you say when faced with it? What do you do?
I'm of the camp that they're just not too fussed/better in person. He believes they're frightful bores.
Is it always a sign of being incompatible with a person?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If they’re not good at chatting I ignore them and don’t message them often or I give them dead replies until they stop messaging me if I don’t want to be rude |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s always hard to convey tone and that over text and I think it often feels like people have a text personality then their own lol, some people just aren’t big texters either so always better to see how they are in person or on a call before thinking they’re not for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apidaryMan
over a year ago
Chipping Norton |
Lacklustre chat in person? The gold standard of incompatibility.
Lacklustre chat electronically? Unpredictable. I've had wonderful conversations with people online and not hit it off in person, and vice versa. Seems a bit like physical chemistry - all that leads up to it can give you a good idea, but is never a guarantee in either direction.
Some people are bores and are hugely to be avoided. Other times it's just a question of whether two peoples' style clicks; no judgement on either of them if it doesn't. (If it does, though, the world's suddenly a richer and more enticing place.) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You mean text based chat?
In my case it’s probably because the football is on and I’m more interested in that.
But, tbh, the whole concept of endless messaging can get a bit tedious, if you’ve got lots to say pick up the phone. That’s what unlimited minute tariffs are for  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
I’ll be honest there are people I enjoy face to face chat with who are shit on messaging, so I invest the energy I get back, and sometimes dumb down/stop replying. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to chat, it’s just a self protective move if they’re giving me nothing. It’s sad, as I am an attentive messenger online and in person, but fuck me, I’m not carrying it all or allowing myself to feel a dick.
Shrugs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ll be honest there are people I enjoy face to face chat with who are shit on messaging, so I invest the energy I get back, and sometimes dumb down/stop replying. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to chat, it’s just a self protective move if they’re giving me nothing. It’s sad, as I am an attentive messenger online and in person, but fuck me, I’m not carrying it all or allowing myself to feel a dick.
Shrugs. "
Face to face chat with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.
J |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been talking to a friend this evening about lacklustre chat.
What do you say when faced with it? What do you do?
I'm of the camp that they're just not too fussed/better in person. He believes they're frightful bores.
Is it always a sign of being incompatible with a person?
"
I'm relieved. Their time could be much better spent chatting to someone else.
I don't think it necessarily shows incompatibility. I prefer to chat in person so I can make an excuse and leave when their eyes glaze over and they start poking their head with a fork. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.
J"
Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It didn't even warrant a reply though! "
Gotta admit, sometimes no reply is a relief.
Not every conversation has to keep going and going and going. It’s okay for them to end.
A chat coming to a close doesn’t mean ‘fuck off’ or ‘I’m not interested’. You can still talk more another time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It didn't even warrant a reply though!
Gotta admit, sometimes no reply is a relief.
Not every conversation has to keep going and going and going. It’s okay for them to end.
A chat coming to a close doesn’t mean ‘fuck off’ or ‘I’m not interested’. You can still talk more another time."
That's one way of fucking me off I guess!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.
J
Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm"
Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm? 
J |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.
J
Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm
Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm?
J"
Is somebody gagged? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey 
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Off to Google a dingleberry"
Urban dictionary is your friend |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Off to Google a dingleberry
Urban dictionary is your friend "
I laughed, probably too much.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Hairy too"
She’s about 2 days away from her growing phase. She’s a lot more fun to be around but looks like a yeti for the next 6 months. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.
J
Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm
Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm?
J
Is somebody gagged? "
Umm I thought my sexy chat was unsexy too but I pulled a hot bird! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Seriously though, back to Meli.
If all I'm getting is weak ass short as shit messages back, no detail or effort after me trying to poke the convo back to life then I'm done.
Now, I generally assume it's no interest but sometimes they are just a bore anyway. Sometimes both! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Off to Google a dingleberry
Urban dictionary is your friend
I laughed, probably too much.
"
You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seriously though, back to Meli.
If all I'm getting is weak ass short as shit messages back, no detail or effort after me trying to poke the convo back to life then I'm done.
Now, I generally assume it's no interest but sometimes they are just a bore anyway. Sometimes both! "
What about the 3rd option, no spoons? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Off to Google a dingleberry
Urban dictionary is your friend
I laughed, probably too much.
You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled? "
She is a special one isn't she |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Off to Google a dingleberry
Urban dictionary is your friend
I laughed, probably too much.
You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled? "
Buckle up baby |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.
J
Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm
Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm?
J
Is somebody gagged?
Umm I thought my sexy chat was unsexy too but I pulled a hot bird! "
Yes! Don't worry though, I'll manage to friendzone you in no time! (my other superpower)
J |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
One of the reasons we only meet at clubs and large socials is due to the fact I’m terrible at chatting online .
if it wasn’t for clubs and socials we probably wouldn’t have meets as people would think we weren’t interested or ignorant .
I just struggle having conversations online .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Off to Google a dingleberry
Urban dictionary is your friend
I laughed, probably too much.
You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?
She is a special one isn't she "
Just when you think you’ve got her worked out she hangs on your arse hair and you’ve got to go back to the drawing board. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.
Hey
You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.
Off to Google a dingleberry
Urban dictionary is your friend
I laughed, probably too much.
You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?
Buckle up baby"
That’s the strap on, isn’t it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some people aren't great at texting and are better in person. And others have no personality whatsoever. It's a risky game figuring out which one it is, so its easier to match their energy and let the conversation run dry. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
While I'd admit some people are not great at chatting online and better in person, I don't like feeling as if I'm carrying her conversation.
When the messaging has been subpar with lack of proper engagement from the other side, I just tend to leave it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"While I'd admit some people are not great at chatting online and better in person, I don't like feeling as if I'm carrying her conversation.
When the messaging has been subpar with lack of proper engagement from the other side, I just tend to leave it."
*the* conversation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’ve had this thought this evening. I’m quite a chatty person but struggle when I seem to be the one doing most of the chatting, like when I message I always try and ask questions to get the chat going and normally I type a lot more than one or two lines, then when I get a three or four word message back and clearly there’s nothing I can comment on I get very frustrated.
Guess I should learn to write people off quicker but I like to try and give people a chance.
For me communication is very attractive and important.
Kink (f) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I like sporadic messages. I like men who play it cool. Unless I’ve met them and I’m hankering hardcore for their cock.
Endless messaging is a bit of a chore, and I find it a bit needy. Unless we have met, whereupon I like consistent messaging.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from."
Calm down JK Rowling. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from."
Right, what's DF done now? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If we're talking about messages then I just assume they're not interested, especially as I try to put thoughts into my replies. They don't have to go back and forth constantly but as long as there's a conversation there, that's all that matters.
It could also be that we just don't have that much in common so can't find stuff to talk about |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
What's boring tends to be subjective, so I'd lean toward compatibility.
I'd been chatting to someone a while. It seemed all she did was talk about herself and her work incessantly. I stuck with it, for some reason. Then all of a sudden, after like 2-3 weeks she started wanting to know about me, rather than just talking at me.
Turns out it's just part of her neurospiciness. She's actually really cool.
I could have written her off as self-absorbed. Not me though, I'm not the kind of guy to write off someone just for their personality, not when they have an amazing ass. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!
The whole thread was boring, she just left.
Typical Meli "
Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!
The whole thread was boring, she just left.
Typical Meli
Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez."
Dickmatized |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!
The whole thread was boring, she just left.
Typical Meli
Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez.
Dickmatized "
Sinking in to the dicksand.
(I could keep this up all night) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!
The whole thread was boring, she just left.
Typical Meli
Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez.
Dickmatized
Sinking in to the dicksand.
(I could keep this up all night)"
That's what she said! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"I've been talking to a friend this evening about lacklustre chat.
What do you say when faced with it? What do you do?
I'm of the camp that they're just not too fussed/better in person. He believes they're frightful bores.
Is it always a sign of being incompatible with a person?
"
Depends on my mood but usually if I’m not feeling a spark then I let the chat disappear into the ether as I don’t feel we’d be compatible.
But sometimes there’s an extra spark of intrigue so I’ll take a chance and meet…you don’t have to chat to have a good time in the bedroom  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from."
And me.
Alas.
I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?
I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from.
And me.
Alas.
I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?
I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from.
And me.
Alas.
I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?
I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate."
Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm hard work to chat to....... Interesting! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from.
And me.
Alas.
I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?
I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate.
Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm hard work to chat to....... Interesting! "
Possibly. I know I am. I'm either very much in the chat with full waffle or I'm not at all and it's probably like drawing blood from a mountain. I'd like to think the right people for me don't think I am.
They kind of understand my idiosyncrasies, know why I communicate in a particular style.
Maybe it's about remaining open to learning another's style.
Obviously there's just general incompatibility. Sometimes people don't click and that's fine.
Other times it's more about giving each other space to communicate in an authentic way that's best for us. Whether it's waffling or stoicism.
This has been interesting, it's something I need to remember more oft. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"We’re a bit crap at messages.
Probs not much better in real life really?
Good job one of us is real pretty  "
You're better at video calls in the bath. That's your forte, stick with it.
Yeah she is.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Oh another thing!
There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from.
And me.
Alas.
I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?
I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate.
Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm hard work to chat to....... Interesting!
Possibly. I know I am. I'm either very much in the chat with full waffle or I'm not at all and it's probably like drawing blood from a mountain. I'd like to think the right people for me don't think I am.
They kind of understand my idiosyncrasies, know why I communicate in a particular style.
Maybe it's about remaining open to learning another's style.
Obviously there's just general incompatibility. Sometimes people don't click and that's fine.
Other times it's more about giving each other space to communicate in an authentic way that's best for us. Whether it's waffling or stoicism.
This has been interesting, it's something I need to remember more oft."
I think a large part of my waffle problem is when I get a thought of something I want to say, I kind of just say it.
"oh I want to say this to that person, I'll just say it" despite them not having replied to the past 3 messages. Thankfully most of the people I want to say stuff to seem to put up with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We’re a bit crap at messages.
Probs not much better in real life really?
Good job one of us is real pretty
You're better at video calls in the bath. That's your forte, stick with it.
Yeah she is. "
You love a rubber…. 
I’m the pretty one!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
J