Good folks: Did you know that the world record for the farthest ejaculation is held by a Mr Horst Schultz? He achieved a whopping 18 ft and 9 inches (yes, that’s a gargantuan 6 meters, by gum!!!) Furthermore, his ejaculation speed was clocked at a staggering 42.7 mph(!!!)
In honour of the venerable Mr Schultz’s amazing feat, what sexual world record event would you propose to take part in my fine competitors?
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"What I wanna know is who adjudicated this and how did mr jizz perform with such a sterile audience  "
A good question indeed. Horst was/is apparently no stranger to ejaculating publicly as he is an adult actor. …Or so I’ve heard.
As to the record itself, I am sadly unsure if it is of the officially recognised, Guinness adjudicated variety or else a back room wank with a B&Q purchased tape measure
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I’m going to go with longest time to get a condom out of the packet, on the right way to unroll (as per a USB plug, try 3 times), unroll halfway, no further - stuck, fingers tucked in, pulling, try unrolling again, two hands pulling, rolling now, rip, start again with a new packet, get hard again, repeat, say ‘for fuck’s sake’ under breath repeatedly until Club cleaner tells you they’re closing and everyone left already.
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"I’m going to go with longest time to get a condom out of the packet, on the right way to unroll (as per a USB plug, try 3 times), unroll halfway, no further - stuck, fingers tucked in, pulling, try unrolling again, two hands pulling, rolling now, rip, start again with a new packet, get hard again, repeat, say ‘for fuck’s sake’ under breath repeatedly until Club cleaner tells you they’re closing and everyone left already.
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Hahaha PMSL. It's an Olympic sport |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Welcome to fab swingers
The place is not short of male testosterone levels. Ladies will have a field day.
Today we even have a fab wedding. Make this place what you want and have fun.
Fab swingers or be tangoed! |
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"I’m going to go with longest time to get a condom out of the packet, on the right way to unroll (as per a USB plug, try 3 times), unroll halfway, no further - stuck, fingers tucked in, pulling, try unrolling again, two hands pulling, rolling now, rip, start again with a new packet, get hard again, repeat, say ‘for fuck’s sake’ under breath repeatedly until Club cleaner tells you they’re closing and everyone left already.
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 I hate it when you struggle for a seeming eternity to get the thing over the head of your cock before it suddenly dawns upon you that it’s in fact inside out…   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The longest squirt/pee distance
The biggest wet patch
The most multiple orgasms
The largest volume of spunk - we will need official science beakers
The most amount of bjs in 1 hour in a glory hole.
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