FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Solve the problem
Solve the problem
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
You have crash-landed in the middle of a jungle. A hungry man-eating lion in desperate need of human flesh prowls around the smoking wreckage.
Using the following three salvaged items how do you make it safely home?
1. Battery.
2. Mobile Phone.
3. Piers Morgan. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Piers shall be promptly sacrificed to the lion after I shove the battery up his arse in a fit of sadistic glee  "
Good thinking for the battery! But won't you need that for the phone?
... Or would you rather sacrifice the phone just to ram the battery up his arse? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Get Piers To interview the lion while you reassemble the phone and battery - get them to track your gps location and arrange an rv point whilst leaving that fat faced fucknugget to get eaten by a bored lion  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Piers shall be promptly sacrificed to the lion after I shove the battery up his arse in a fit of sadistic glee
Good thinking for the battery! But won't you need that for the phone?
... Or would you rather sacrifice the phone just to ram the battery up his arse?"
 Ahhh there was probably no signal anyhow so far better to derive some joy from the grim situation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Get Piers To interview the lion while you reassemble the phone and battery - get them to track your gps location and arrange an rv point whilst leaving that fat faced fucknugget to get eaten by a bored lion "
What a survivalist! Impeccable! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Piers shall be promptly sacrificed to the lion after I shove the battery up his arse in a fit of sadistic glee
Good thinking for the battery! But won't you need that for the phone?
... Or would you rather sacrifice the phone just to ram the battery up his arse?
Ahhh there was probably no signal anyhow so far better to derive some joy from the grim situation "
Yeah and... Piers might even enjoy it? ...You might be doing him a kindness? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I bum pierce until the lion eats him
Bum the lion while it's distracted with Pierce
The lion loves me now.
Hitch up my pants, whistle a tune
And wander off in to the sunset with my new lion friend using the phone and battery to call for help
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"You have crash-landed in the middle of a jungle. A hungry man-eating lion in desperate need of human flesh prowls around the smoking wreckage.
Using the following three salvaged items how do you make it safely home?
1. Battery.
2. Mobile Phone.
3. Piers Morgan."
feed the lion piers morgan put a battery in your skateboard and phone ET to get you outta there  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Lions don't live in jungles. "
'Jungle' (the word) in Africa and India (where Lions live) refers to the plains/woodlands etc they inhabit. That's where the phrase: 'King of the jungle' comes from. But in the West we don't call such places: 'Jungle'.
No need to be so serious though it's just a bit of fun...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have crash-landed in the middle of a jungle. A hungry man-eating lion in desperate need of human flesh prowls around the smoking wreckage.
Using the following three salvaged items how do you make it safely home?
1. Battery.
2. Mobile Phone.
3. Piers Morgan."
Simple put battery in phone film me killing piers and walk off while lion eats him..... I ain't letting the lion have all the fun |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I bum pierce until the lion eats him
Bum the lion while it's distracted with Pierce
The lion loves me now.
Hitch up my pants, whistle a tune
And wander off in to the sunset with my new lion friend using the phone and battery to call for help
"
Flawless plan but... Bumming Piers?... Could you sustain an erection for his blubbery, heaving, sweaty, hairy bottom? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You have crash-landed in the middle of a jungle. A hungry man-eating lion in desperate need of human flesh prowls around the smoking wreckage.
Using the following three salvaged items how do you make it safely home?
1. Battery.
2. Mobile Phone.
3. Piers Morgan.
Simple put battery in phone film me killing piers and walk off while lion eats him..... I ain't letting the lion have all the fun "
Damn... You must be a supervillain with a mind like that! Or the Punisher at least! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I bum pierce until the lion eats him
Bum the lion while it's distracted with Pierce
The lion loves me now.
Hitch up my pants, whistle a tune
And wander off in to the sunset with my new lion friend using the phone and battery to call for help
Flawless plan but... Bumming Piers?... Could you sustain an erection for his blubbery, heaving, sweaty, hairy bottom?"
I've done worse things 
Besides, he might lighten up after a bit of a poke |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You have crash-landed in the middle of a jungle. A hungry man-eating lion in desperate need of human flesh prowls around the smoking wreckage.
Using the following three salvaged items how do you make it safely home?
1. Battery.
2. Mobile Phone.
3. Piers Morgan.feed the lion piers morgan put a battery in your skateboard and phone ET to get you outta there "
Perfect! Oooo you even found another item (skateboard) well done! Hope you hit that silly bastard over the head with it before you left though? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I bum pierce until the lion eats him
Bum the lion while it's distracted with Pierce
The lion loves me now.
Hitch up my pants, whistle a tune
And wander off in to the sunset with my new lion friend using the phone and battery to call for help
Flawless plan but... Bumming Piers?... Could you sustain an erection for his blubbery, heaving, sweaty, hairy bottom?
I've done worse things
Besides, he might lighten up after a bit of a poke "
True!! Actually he looks like he needs a ruddy good seeing too... Always so uptight looking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mobile phones contain ion lithium battery
And maybe the other battery is ion lithium battery but you didn’t state they so I will assume not
When a ion lithium battery is exposed to oxygen it crates a mini fire
To I would tie up peris to a tree and stick the mobile is his pocket
And wait for the lion to eat him in doing so will pumpcher the batty in the phone expose the ion lithium to oxygen witch in turn will set the lion on fire
Job done now to find my way home |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ask Pier's how he got there ? Was he on the plane, or did he arrive by other means ? If he arrived by other means, then it suggests a film crew is nearby, which suggests alternative transportation. If he arrived on the same aircraft then he might still have a use. Just haven't worked out quite what, just yet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"You have crash-landed in the middle of a jungle. A hungry man-eating lion in desperate need of human flesh prowls around the smoking wreckage.
Using the following three salvaged items how do you make it safely home?
1. Battery.
2. Mobile Phone.
3. Piers Morgan.feed the lion piers morgan put a battery in your skateboard and phone ET to get you outta there
Perfect! Oooo you even found another item (skateboard) well done! Hope you hit that silly bastard over the head with it before you left though?"
piers? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"You have crash-landed in the middle of a jungle. A hungry man-eating lion in desperate need of human flesh prowls around the smoking wreckage.
Using the following three salvaged items how do you make it safely home?
1. Battery.
2. Mobile Phone.
3. Piers Morgan.feed the lion piers morgan put a battery in your skateboard and phone ET to get you outta there
Perfect! Oooo you even found another item (skateboard) well done! Hope you hit that silly bastard over the head with it before you left though?"
No the lion was chomping on his bones |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Mobile phones contain ion lithium battery
And maybe the other battery is ion lithium battery but you didn’t state they so I will assume not
When a ion lithium battery is exposed to oxygen it crates a mini fire
To I would tie up peris to a tree and stick the mobile is his pocket
And wait for the lion to eat him in doing so will pumpcher the batty in the phone expose the ion lithium to oxygen witch in turn will set the lion on fire
Job done now to find my way home "
Hmmm self-reliance... Not having confidence in the phone to save you... I like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"However you did say "salvaged", which implies Piers was discovered amongst the wreckage. I'm not sure why you'd go the effort of salvaging him. Perhaps a book deal/interview or something ?"
At first I was about to leave him there but then i saw the hungry Lion and figured he might come in handy after all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve thought about it, and came to the conclusion that I’d be eaten by the lion before I could come up with a plan "
Terrible! I hope you can at least find your way out of these forums safely...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mobile phones contain ion lithium battery
And maybe the other battery is ion lithium battery but you didn’t state they so I will assume not
When a ion lithium battery is exposed to oxygen it crates a mini fire
To I would tie up peris to a tree and stick the mobile is his pocket
And wait for the lion to eat him in doing so will pumpcher the batty in the phone expose the ion lithium to oxygen witch in turn will set the lion on fire
Job done now to find my way home
Hmmm self-reliance... Not having confidence in the phone to save you... I like that."
I mean if the other batty is also ion lithium then I would have used that but you didn’t state if it was or not so I assume it’s a normal akine one witch doesn’t go on fire when exposed to air
The mobile phone is only good if you can get rid off the lion as no matter what there’s still going to be a lion so going to have to find away to get rid off it have the lion pumpcher the battery setting off a 3000 digress thermal torch in its mouth should do the trick |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Mobile phones contain ion lithium battery
And maybe the other battery is ion lithium battery but you didn’t state they so I will assume not
When a ion lithium battery is exposed to oxygen it crates a mini fire
To I would tie up peris to a tree and stick the mobile is his pocket
And wait for the lion to eat him in doing so will pumpcher the batty in the phone expose the ion lithium to oxygen witch in turn will set the lion on fire
Job done now to find my way home
Hmmm self-reliance... Not having confidence in the phone to save you... I like that.
I mean if the other batty is also ion lithium then I would have used that but you didn’t state if it was or not so I assume it’s a normal akine one witch doesn’t go on fire when exposed to air
The mobile phone is only good if you can get rid off the lion as no matter what there’s still going to be a lion so going to have to find away to get rid off it have the lion pumpcher the battery setting off a 3000 digress thermal torch in its mouth should do the trick "
Yeah i suppose once the lion eats Piers... (which could take a while to get through all that blubber and grisle), it could come after you... So good idea despatching it... And perhaps now you could even eat the lion??? Would it be safe to eat having been fried in this ... chemical fire??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mobile phones contain ion lithium battery
And maybe the other battery is ion lithium battery but you didn’t state they so I will assume not
When a ion lithium battery is exposed to oxygen it crates a mini fire
To I would tie up peris to a tree and stick the mobile is his pocket
And wait for the lion to eat him in doing so will pumpcher the batty in the phone expose the ion lithium to oxygen witch in turn will set the lion on fire
Job done now to find my way home
Hmmm self-reliance... Not having confidence in the phone to save you... I like that.
I mean if the other batty is also ion lithium then I would have used that but you didn’t state if it was or not so I assume it’s a normal akine one witch doesn’t go on fire when exposed to air
The mobile phone is only good if you can get rid off the lion as no matter what there’s still going to be a lion so going to have to find away to get rid off it have the lion pumpcher the battery setting off a 3000 digress thermal torch in its mouth should do the trick
Yeah i suppose once the lion eats Piers... (which could take a while to get through all that blubber and grisle), it could come after you... So good idea despatching it... And perhaps now you could even eat the lion??? Would it be safe to eat having been fried in this ... chemical fire???"
Ooo it will not take long they go though a gizzle that wights like 500lbs in like 5 minutes
It pick a human apart in minutes so you have to and probably not save to eat but at least you can find a away home |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Mobile phones contain ion lithium battery
And maybe the other battery is ion lithium battery but you didn’t state they so I will assume not
When a ion lithium battery is exposed to oxygen it crates a mini fire
To I would tie up peris to a tree and stick the mobile is his pocket
And wait for the lion to eat him in doing so will pumpcher the batty in the phone expose the ion lithium to oxygen witch in turn will set the lion on fire
Job done now to find my way home
Hmmm self-reliance... Not having confidence in the phone to save you... I like that.
I mean if the other batty is also ion lithium then I would have used that but you didn’t state if it was or not so I assume it’s a normal akine one witch doesn’t go on fire when exposed to air
The mobile phone is only good if you can get rid off the lion as no matter what there’s still going to be a lion so going to have to find away to get rid off it have the lion pumpcher the battery setting off a 3000 digress thermal torch in its mouth should do the trick
Yeah i suppose once the lion eats Piers... (which could take a while to get through all that blubber and grisle), it could come after you... So good idea despatching it... And perhaps now you could even eat the lion??? Would it be safe to eat having been fried in this ... chemical fire???
Ooo it will not take long they go though a gizzle that wights like 500lbs in like 5 minutes
It pick a human apart in minutes so you have to and probably not save to eat but at least you can find a away home "
So kind of you... To class Piers Morgan as 'human' is such a dignity... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mobile phones contain ion lithium battery
And maybe the other battery is ion lithium battery but you didn’t state they so I will assume not
When a ion lithium battery is exposed to oxygen it crates a mini fire
To I would tie up peris to a tree and stick the mobile is his pocket
And wait for the lion to eat him in doing so will pumpcher the batty in the phone expose the ion lithium to oxygen witch in turn will set the lion on fire
Job done now to find my way home
Hmmm self-reliance... Not having confidence in the phone to save you... I like that.
I mean if the other batty is also ion lithium then I would have used that but you didn’t state if it was or not so I assume it’s a normal akine one witch doesn’t go on fire when exposed to air
The mobile phone is only good if you can get rid off the lion as no matter what there’s still going to be a lion so going to have to find away to get rid off it have the lion pumpcher the battery setting off a 3000 digress thermal torch in its mouth should do the trick
Yeah i suppose once the lion eats Piers... (which could take a while to get through all that blubber and grisle), it could come after you... So good idea despatching it... And perhaps now you could even eat the lion??? Would it be safe to eat having been fried in this ... chemical fire???
Ooo it will not take long they go though a gizzle that wights like 500lbs in like 5 minutes
It pick a human apart in minutes so you have to and probably not save to eat but at least you can find a away home
So kind of you... To class Piers Morgan as 'human' is such a dignity..."
I am just thinking in retrospect off logic |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Feeding Piers Morgan to the lion seems a bit cruel to the lion."
Hmmmm... Yes... Poor Lion... Never thought of that.
Would the Lion even survive eating all that shite? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
