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Reciprocated energy.
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*? |
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"Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*?"
I think it ebbs and flows- i think forcing it would be a mistake as it could be misread as deception x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Through the years have probably lost touch with many people who did not seem to put the same effort and energy into keeping the friendship and contact going. |
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I find it very important.
Feels like I'm always pushing them for contact and they're not bothered? I compartmentalise and zone out.
I need some hermit time and they keep messaging despite a lack of or clearly not engaged response? I mute the conversations, and rarely go back to them apart from to say I don't think things are working out when I can do peopling again and have had time to know it's not just because I was in a bad headpsace at the time.
I don't need absolute equality at all times. Everyone has moods and life happens sometimes, but if it gets to the point where it feels the entire relationship is unbalanced in either direction, it's time for me to check out. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*?
I think it ebbs and flows- i think forcing it would be a mistake as it could be misread as deception x"
Aww I got a little x! Adorable. Thanks. :D
No, forcing it isn't good. It's either there or it's not, too much pressure and it quickly collapses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Energy moves and I cannot be on a constant high or want to be on a constant low.
I don’t mind sharing energy with someone or people who mean something to me, and I do mean share.
The issue is when you’re both on a low ebb.
I am an empath and feel peoples energy and have a tendency to attract narcissistic people and players and I need better personal filters |
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"Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*?"
Important but realistic? I love the idea thatbyou can surround yourself only with people with great energy and to rid yourself of the others... Nice idea. Not sure how realistic it is |
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"Through the years have probably lost touch with many people who did not seem to put the same effort and energy into keeping the friendship and contact going. "
Yes - ive started to cut people out if my life where im the one who messages all the time … if I’m not in their thoughts even once in 3 months…. Even for a txt then … obviously i have a cple friends in comas and im cutting them some slack!! |
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"Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*?
I think it ebbs and flows- i think forcing it would be a mistake as it could be misread as deception x
Aww I got a little x! Adorable. Thanks. :D
No, forcing it isn't good. It's either there or it's not, too much pressure and it quickly collapses."
You’d get a big X in person Meli xx and potentially a bumfondle but that’s only fir close friends x - another one!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Energy moves and I cannot be on a constant high or want to be on a constant low.
I don’t mind sharing energy with someone or people who mean something to me, and I do mean share.
The issue is when you’re both on a low ebb.
I am an empath and feel peoples energy and have a tendency to attract narcissistic people and players and I need better personal filters "
This. So much this. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Mood hoovers and folk who could start an argument in a phonebox are just not my people. "
I don't imagine they're anyone's sort of person. We're all guilty of being a bit of an energy vampire at times but constant negativity is a bit much isn't it? I think life is about balance and if it's just negative energy directed to me, I'm going to be muting and trying to preserve my energy. |
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"Mood hoovers and folk who could start an argument in a phonebox are just not my people.
I don't imagine they're anyone's sort of person. We're all guilty of being a bit of an energy vampire at times but constant negativity is a bit much isn't it? I think life is about balance and if it's just negative energy directed to me, I'm going to be muting and trying to preserve my energy. "
I'd find constant high energy quite negative too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*?"
Still not the same as inperson in real time.
Reading,typing is a small speck.
Face to face the real energy jumps out. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Mood hoovers and folk who could start an argument in a phonebox are just not my people.
I don't imagine they're anyone's sort of person. We're all guilty of being a bit of an energy vampire at times but constant negativity is a bit much isn't it? I think life is about balance and if it's just negative energy directed to me, I'm going to be muting and trying to preserve my energy.
I'd find constant high energy quite negative too"
Yes. I'd agree with that hence the life is about balance part in the post you quoted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it very important.
Feels like I'm always pushing them for contact and they're not bothered? I compartmentalise and zone out.
I need some hermit time and they keep messaging despite a lack of or clearly not engaged response? I mute the conversations, and rarely go back to them apart from to say I don't think things are working out when I can do peopling again and have had time to know it's not just because I was in a bad headpsace at the time.
I don't need absolute equality at all times. Everyone has moods and life happens sometimes, but if it gets to the point where it feels the entire relationship is unbalanced in either direction, it's time for me to check out."
I do this every 3 months of the year,and clear the dead weight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mood hoovers and folk who could start an argument in a phonebox are just not my people.
I don't imagine they're anyone's sort of person. We're all guilty of being a bit of an energy vampire at times but constant negativity is a bit much isn't it? I think life is about balance and if it's just negative energy directed to me, I'm going to be muting and trying to preserve my energy.
I'd find constant high energy quite negative too"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*?"
Depends on the person and how much of a cunt they are.
(Sorry Meli, this is abrupt but covers it. X) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A low energy person doesn't necessarily mean negative or moody to me, it means quieter, thoughtful, private and slower to make decisions.
The ones who aren't in your face all the time.
I dig those people 
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For me energy is important and I can reciprocate it very well.
If there's one trying more than the other then its only natural the one trying the most is just going to walk away.
It's easier to push some away then keep them nearer.
Everyone has emotions were human doesn't matter if some show it quicker than others or feel it later. It catches up with everyone so best to be honest with ourselves to stay honest with others |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I find it very important.
Feels like I'm always pushing them for contact and they're not bothered? I compartmentalise and zone out.
I need some hermit time and they keep messaging despite a lack of or clearly not engaged response? I mute the conversations, and rarely go back to them apart from to say I don't think things are working out when I can do peopling again and have had time to know it's not just because I was in a bad headpsace at the time.
I don't need absolute equality at all times. Everyone has moods and life happens sometimes, but if it gets to the point where it feels the entire relationship is unbalanced in either direction, it's time for me to check out."
Thank you Prey. Yes, it's the two opposing ends of the spectrum, both don't leave the receiver feeling particularly great. I like that you're looking at 'energy' as more of a thing between two people, rather than one person being high/low energy. More of an energy transfer if that makes sense?
Anyway, I enjoyed reading this and it resonated. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
Strangely I'm not sure.
Generally I try to put effort in to it, enthusiasm. Try to make it work etc. Then I find it's me making all the effort. So I begin to back off with my own enthusiasm and effort.
Sometimes I'm not in the mood for conversing so my own energy in the moment is low regardless. I don't want enthusiasm or effort from anyone until it passes.
I'm not sure if that counts as me matching their energy. |
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I generally match energy, I'll probably start more proactive then if it's not reciprocated my energy will dimish too until I won't invest time and effort anymore.
Time is precious, I won't waste it on bad energy.
Mrs |
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I'm normally pretty high energy, send messages, get very chatty, love a good convo and put effort into keeping in contact. With family and friends I tend to be the one who makes arrangements too.
It takes a while for the penny to drop with me, but if I realise that someone is putting zero effort in and I'm the one doing all the chasing then I take a giant step back and match energy.
Two word messages? I'll put the same effort into my reply. Vague talk about going out at some point? Sure, let me know when you're free.
Life is too short for me to be forcing my company where it's not wanted! |
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"Earlier in a thread I read about low energy people. And it led me to thinking about energy on here. In conversations, both on here and in day to day life. In terms of energy in a "relationship" (*I'm applying this term to any sort, platonic or otherwise).
So, do you find yourself matching the energy of people you talk to? Is it something you think about? Do you ever put a lot of energy into something and it's not reciprocated? How important is it to you to have equal levels of it in a relationship*?"
Interesting question. I think I’m a social chameleon to some extent. Not that I change my opinion to suit a circumstance, more that I moderate my energy and combative nature.
I have a tendency to be overtly provocative, mainly because it amuses me and I like to find those with whom I can engage in a similar way with.
Where I struggle is with mood hoovers and sponges. If there’s no reflection of energy or an attempt to return my serves then I promptly lose interest.
Not entirely sure I’ve answered you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I have to be in a specific mood to match the energy of the people around me and probably find it easier to do around new people I'm meeting rather than those who already know me.
Maybe that's because I already have a level of comfort and vulnerability around those I already know so don't feel the need to match their energy beat for beat compared to newer people where I want to find out if we click. |
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