FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does “vanilla” mean boring?
Does “vanilla” mean boring?
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By *rogalCouple
over a year ago
Falkirk |
To us, vanilla is the base, the building block. In ice cream, you don't get raspberry ripple without vanilla. Same with swinging, you don't get swinging without the vanilla stuff involved, you just add the raspberry ripple bits  |
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"To us, vanilla is the base, the building block. In ice cream, you don't get raspberry ripple without vanilla. Same with swinging, you don't get swinging without the vanilla stuff involved, you just add the raspberry ripple bits "
Wise.
"Why make 31 flavors when you can't get vanilla right?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To us, vanilla is the base, the building block. In ice cream, you don't get raspberry ripple without vanilla. Same with swinging, you don't get swinging without the vanilla stuff involved, you just add the raspberry ripple bits "
Brilliant analogy |
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"Is it a put down? Or is it simply the opposite of kink?
Understanding of course that people’s definitions of “vanilla” and “kink” vary wildly.
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No due to Maya ill health we only have a vinilla relationship now we do all kind of things together
I'm on my way to hers soon .I'll do the house work she can't do I'll give here rub down in the shower and towel dry her after and help her moisterise .we will laugh and joke talk shite might watch a bit of TV together have a nice meal and plan our next outing tomorrow .so no its not boreing .I'll get my kink with other women maya's fine with that does effect the quality time we share together. |
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It depends on what the individual would class as vanilla.
Vanilla to you maybe different to my vanilla and the next person.
I think the key thing to ask a person you might be interested in, is asking “what do you class as vanilla?”
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No, it's not boring. Far from it. I've had the most amazing encounters that were vanilla. I use my own self-coined term "enhanced vanilla" to describe myself and to disperse any misconceptions of vanilla. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you started a thread and asked people to define vanilla - you'd have a massive range of opinions. I've had guys describe anal as kinky, for example. And you're on a swinger website where most people are interested in partner swapping and/or group sex. Neither of those things are vanilla, are they?
Enjoy your flavour |
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Not everyone is keen to push the boundaries of sexual expression to more extreme lengths.
I would definitely describe myself as vanilla in this regards.
I absolutely respect others desire to experiment with flogging, pegging, rope play, orgies and any other LEGAL form of more ‘adventurous’ sexual exploration but it’s not really for me.
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"Is it a put down? Or is it simply the opposite of kink?
Understanding of course that people’s definitions of “vanilla” and “kink” vary wildly.
"
When we moved more in kink circles it seemed to be used by people desperate to convince themselves they were mad, bad and dangerous to know, despite most fetish events being as dull as dishwater. Nice people and cake, but generally zero sex. Normally an older man there (and always online)with a pony tail and leather waistcoat who was the self appointed BDSM police and normally especially keen to impart his wisdom to any young female newcomer. We moved to swinging because we found the people more outgoing and interesting and didn’t feel the need to other everyone else or see themselves as mad and bad, despite the general public being more likely to judge sharing your partner sexually more harshly than some handcuff and mild spanking play. Saying that, we still have affection for the kink scene as in a roundabout way it’s what brought us together many years ago, and who knows, one day we might find the crossover event that suits us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it a put down? Or is it simply the opposite of kink?
Understanding of course that people’s definitions of “vanilla” and “kink” vary wildly.
When we moved more in kink circles it seemed to be used by people desperate to convince themselves they were mad, bad and dangerous to know, despite most fetish events being as dull as dishwater. Nice people and cake, but generally zero sex. Normally an older man there (and always online)with a pony tail and leather waistcoat who was the self appointed BDSM police and normally especially keen to impart his wisdom to any young female newcomer. We moved to swinging because we found the people more outgoing and interesting and didn’t feel the need to other everyone else or see themselves as mad and bad, despite the general public being more likely to judge sharing your partner sexually more harshly than some handcuff and mild spanking play. Saying that, we still have affection for the kink scene as in a roundabout way it’s what brought us together many years ago, and who knows, one day we might find the crossover event that suits us."
The last kink event I went to, there was a demo by an older man with a ponytail and leather waistcoat! Of course, he was whipping a slender young wisp of a creature.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This...
When I was younger I wasn't experienced with kink nor was it important for me, as I got older and had more sex kink started to become more of a need in sexual relationships despite still not having any experience with it. I've never used the term boring towards anyone on the topic of vanilla sex in a derogatory way i.e. "oh you only like vanilla sex? Well that sounds boring". Eventually vanilla sex felt boring to me because it wasn't exciting enough. In retrospect it was because the people I was with simply weren't compatible, even if we both really wanted to have sex. I feel that it changed me in a negative way as I simply wasn't satisfied enough, turns out I was with the wrong people, we just weren't doing it right and/or weren't compatible.
Then when I did meet someone who was compatible for me, all we ever did was vanilla sex, and it was incredible! The absolute best sex I've ever had, and likely very very difficult to replicate if possible. I always felt satisfied afterwards and it became something I absolutely craved with this person. It really helped me a lot with my sexual preferences and perspectives, for the better. While I've always understood that vanilla sex is the bedrock for any sexual relationship (you can't simply piss on each other and call it sex), kink is no longer a need to be met in sexual relationships for me. I'm open to kink with the right person if it feels right and that's what we want with each other, but on the whole it's no longer something that dictates my sexual needs.
I feel that anyone who uses the term "boring" regarding vanilla sex in a derogatory way, deliberately or unknowingly, are either assholes not respecting another person's boundaries, or simply haven't had the right experiences and also unaware that their perspective is inappropriate to the person they're seeking sexual relations with. |
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