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Sex OR a million pounds….
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Good folks: A completely random, hypothetical scenario; If I were to offer you a million pounds on the condition that if you take it, you may never engage in sexual practices with a partner for the rest of your life…..would you accept the money?
(You can still pleasure yourself by the way - I’m not a complete monster after all)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love sex but a million quid is a million quid"
Brucey has shot his load 4 times before 4am. I bet I could beat that record. And at least I’d be rich. |
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"Yeah, I already feel like a virgin again at the moment and I take it as you said partner I can still sleep with people I'm not in a relationship with and I'm happy being single anyway "
 A loophole in my contract for your sexual soul I see?
But no…no sex with anyone…... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope a million isn’t a million anymore
A millionaire is the new hunderhair and the new millionaire is the billionaire
Can’t even get a 1 bedroom flat in the middle off London for a million these days |
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"Yeah, I already feel like a virgin again at the moment and I take it as you said partner I can still sleep with people I'm not in a relationship with and I'm happy being single anyway
A loophole in my contract for your sexual soul I see?
But no…no sex with anyone…..."
You can't change the wording of the contract, sex with the girl from Tesco isn't sex with a partner  |
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"Nope a million isn’t a million anymore
A millionaire is the new hunderhair and the new millionaire is the billionaire
Can’t even get a 1 bedroom flat in the middle off London for a million these days "
You can move from London and by a 3 bedroom house for under 200k though |
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"Yeah, I already feel like a virgin again at the moment and I take it as you said partner I can still sleep with people I'm not in a relationship with and I'm happy being single anyway
A loophole in my contract for your sexual soul I see?
But no…no sex with anyone…...
You can't change the wording of the contract, sex with the girl from Tesco isn't sex with a partner "
Drat! Faustus - thou hath thwarted my nefarious plans once again!  |
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"Bit vague this ...
Can you still get a blowie 
If so show me the money  "
No blowies I’m afraid; no sexual contact with any other person in fact.
I might allow you to masturbate from behind a glass pane though ‘cause I’m dead nice like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope a million isn’t a million anymore
A millionaire is the new hunderhair and the new millionaire is the billionaire
Can’t even get a 1 bedroom flat in the middle off London for a million these days
You can move from London and by a 3 bedroom house for under 200k though "
Well that’s true or you could movie to a small rural place in the middle off nowhere in Scotland and pick up a 5 bedroom mansion for 150k |
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"Yeah, I already feel like a virgin again at the moment and I take it as you said partner I can still sleep with people I'm not in a relationship with and I'm happy being single anyway
A loophole in my contract for your sexual soul I see?
But no…no sex with anyone…...
You can't change the wording of the contract, sex with the girl from Tesco isn't sex with a partner
Drat! Faustus - thou hath thwarted my nefarious plans once again! "
Sorry buddy, my stepdad is a lawyer |
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"Nope a million isn’t a million anymore
A millionaire is the new hunderhair and the new millionaire is the billionaire
Can’t even get a 1 bedroom flat in the middle off London for a million these days
You can move from London and by a 3 bedroom house for under 200k though
Well that’s true or you could movie to a small rural place in the middle off nowhere in Scotland and pick up a 5 bedroom mansion for 150k "
Being in the valleys in Wales feels like the middle of nowhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, I already feel like a virgin again at the moment and I take it as you said partner I can still sleep with people I'm not in a relationship with and I'm happy being single anyway "
I took it the exact same way. Give me the money. |
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"Bit vague this ...
Can you still get a blowie
If so show me the money
No blowies I’m afraid; no sexual contact with any other person in fact.
I might allow you to masturbate from behind a glass pane though ‘cause I’m dead nice like "
OK my account number is .....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Million quid. Sex is easy to come by. Can’t go looking for a million smackeroos on tinder… maaaaybe sugar daddy.com you could though"
Ah but no sex forever more?! |
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"Nope a million isn’t a million anymore
A millionaire is the new hunderhair and the new millionaire is the billionaire
Can’t even get a 1 bedroom flat in the middle off London for a million these days
You can move from London and by a 3 bedroom house for under 200k though
Well that’s true or you could movie to a small rural place in the middle off nowhere in Scotland and pick up a 5 bedroom mansion for 150k
Being in the valleys in Wales feels like the middle of nowhere "
Does if you move there from London like I did. |
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"Good folks: A completely random, hypothetical scenario; If I were to offer you a million pounds on the condition that if you take it, you may never engage in sexual practices with a partner for the rest of your life…..would you accept the money?
(You can still pleasure yourself by the way - I’m not a complete monster after all) "
I'll take the million pounds. I can still have sex doesn't mean that woman is my partner. |
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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
A million sounds a lot but it won’t go very far.
A decent house in a good are would swallow up most of it. Then the running costs.
Certainly it’s not to be sneezed at but don’t think it would make you rich. |
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"Just curious once I've got the million pound a fucked off to sunnier climes how you going to police this no sex thing .
Mephistopheles is all seeing…  "
Fair enough can you bring the money round in large suitcase |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm…a few of you holding out from my most heinous, sex stealing machinations I see.
What if I sweetened the metaphorical pot? Say, 5 million pounds? "
I'd happily never get within 10ft of a guy ever again. |
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"Hmmm…a few of you holding out from my most heinous, sex stealing machinations I see.
What if I sweetened the metaphorical pot? Say, 5 million pounds?
I'd happily never get within 10ft of a guy ever again. "
*scribbles cheque to Lilith* |
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"I've not had sex for 3years. We won't count the blow jobs every once in while . so give me the money your didn't say anything about me using my magic finger on women ."
I can offer you my exclusive, super saver deal; For £500,000 you get to touch and lick (and even receive noshy noshy) but thy penis shalt not be inserted into any other orifice.
‘Remember; This amazing deal can’t be found in any shop….’  |
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"I've not had sex for 3years. We won't count the blow jobs every once in while . so give me the money your didn't say anything about me using my magic finger on women .
I can offer you my exclusive, super saver deal; For £500,000 you get to touch and lick (and even receive noshy noshy) but thy penis shalt not be inserted into any other orifice.
‘Remember; This amazing deal can’t be found in any shop….’ "
Fair enough I'll take I can't resist a bargain |
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