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Body ody ody ody...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
It's my final thread of the day, don't worry!
So bodyshaming. In a site where physical appearance is important - have you been on the receiving end of it? Do you think bodyshaming is ever valid?
Where do you stand on it? Is it something that will die out in time or do you think it's as rife through the generations? Would you ever call it out? |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
I have. I've also been given advise.
The thing is some will view constructive criticism and advice as shamaning regardless of how it is presented.
It is not always body shaming. It's a very tricky line to walk and you will never win. |
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I'm often told my body is wrong in a multitude of ways.
I don't think it will ever die out sadly. Empathy is often overrun by competition and jealousy and pride.
It is what it is. All you can do is be the best you can be to others, and know that the opinions of the people who shame your body are absolutely worthless  |
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Yes I have been on the receiving end of it. I feel like everyone probably has at some point and I've seen pretty much every body type shamed on here at some point. No I don't think it's ever valid and I would and have called it out. |
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Once or twice but been complimented many more times. So that's where I try to focus. Some poor girls seem to attract some really negative attention and the people being mean should be utterly ashamed of themselves. Cruel fuckers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I have been on the receiving end of it. I feel like everyone probably has at some point and I've seen pretty much every body type shamed on here at some point. No I don't think it's ever valid and I would and have called it out. "
She’s not wrong.
I’ll call it out op!! But having a preference, and body shaming can appear to be a blurry line sometimes. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Been bodyshamed lots over the years, my height, my weight, my body hair.
It is what it is. I’m used to it by now. I know I’m not the stereotypical attractive woman that is portrayed in the media, and that’s ok. I made peace with that a long time ago.
I don’t think there is ever a valid reason to bodyshame someone, not that I can think of anyway.
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I’ve never been on the receiving end on here. I have in “real life”. And it’s stuck with me, more than I like.
I think, sadly it seems it will always be rife in society. Even though the ideals change, the intent behind always prevails…. X body shape is what we should find attractive….
I do and always will call it out, if I see it. Except if it’s aimed at me. When I just take it on the chin & walk away. |
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"Been bodyshamed lots over the years, my height, my weight, my body hair.
It is what it is. I’m used to it by now. I know I’m not the stereotypical attractive woman that is portrayed in the media, and that’s ok. I made peace with that a long time ago.
I don’t think there is ever a valid reason to bodyshame someone, not that I can think of anyway.
"
Your eyes melt me. I like your body  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes happens to me quite regularly  still call them out on it, they don't seem to see that's what they're doing though so probably pointless.
No I don't think it's ever valid on here or anywhere, if my body is not for someone then they don't have to look at it. Would never body shame someone myself either, and if someone was doing it to someone else in front of me I don't think I'd be able to keep my mouth shut.
Hopefully it does die out, but I don't think it'll be any time soon unfortunately. |
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Personally I would never body shame somebody. If someone isn't for you then pass on by, if on the receiving end of a message (& they aren't to your taste) politely decline. That's my take on it anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, in real life I've had it more from men.
On here more from women.
As much as we try and get away from it, I think it'll always be there. That's people for ya. Knobs.
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I've deleted my huge rant but no, having been through it for many many years it's never acceptable!
Big, small, short, tall we're all human and we all have feelings, it's never ok to be such a cunt & shame people.
Yes I would call it out.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've deleted my huge rant but no, having been through it for many many years it's never acceptable!
Big, small, short, tall we're all human and we all have feelings, it's never ok to be such a cunt & shame people.
Yes I would call it out.
Mrs "
I read it!! Should have kept it. |
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"I've deleted my huge rant but no, having been through it for many many years it's never acceptable!
Big, small, short, tall we're all human and we all have feelings, it's never ok to be such a cunt & shame people.
Yes I would call it out.
Mrs
I read it!! Should have kept it. "
Thanks, it's something in very overly passionate about (as you probably saw) and the potential responses wouldn't have been worth the stress.
Mrs |
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Where there are preferences, there will be shaming, I like heinz baked beans for instance, I would never have tescos own, cos they taste rank to me...luckily tescos own beans don't have feelings...
Will it ever die out...no I don't think so and that helps us find our people. The thing is to not take anything said personally, after all, we choose how we let words hurt us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's my final thread of the day, don't worry!
So bodyshaming. In a site where physical appearance is important - have you been on the receiving end of it? Do you think bodyshaming is ever valid?
Where do you stand on it? Is it something that will die out in time or do you think it's as rife through the generations? Would you ever call it out?"
Yeah it’s shit. In real life I get it from bitches. On here I get it from man bitches. It’ll always be here  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm often told my body is wrong in a multitude of ways.
I don't think it will ever die out sadly. Empathy is often overrun by competition and jealousy and pride.
It is what it is. All you can do is be the best you can be to others, and know that the opinions of the people who shame your body are absolutely worthless "
Yes I guess that's part of it - on a site like this people can see it as something of a competition. I also think it's often a last ditch attempt to hurt someone - we place value on appearance and try and knock down those we see as not measuring up. It's definitely more of a reflection on the shamer than than the shamee.
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Also body shamaning is extremely selective in and when some people apply it.
Make a comment on somebody being fat. All hell breaks lose.
Those same people championing against fat shaming then make a hostile comment shaming small penis size and think it is okay. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also body shamaning is extremely selective in and when some people apply it.
Make a comment on somebody being fat. All hell breaks lose.
Those same people championing against fat shaming then make a hostile comment shaming small penis size and think it is okay. "
I'd agree with this.
There was a thread a while back which was just awful, but since it was a 'popular' woman ripping a guy to bits it was deemed funny by most.
Also, any thread mentioning slim women gets pulled to pieces.
Gotta love fabs double standards. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Once or twice but been complimented many more times. So that's where I try to focus. Some poor girls seem to attract some really negative attention and the people being mean should be utterly ashamed of themselves. Cruel fuckers."
Ach people will people won't they? Focusing energy on the positive is definitely a far better use of time. |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
bedlington |
"Also body shamaning is extremely selective in and when some people apply it.
Make a comment on somebody being fat. All hell breaks lose.
Those same people championing against fat shaming then make a hostile comment shaming small penis size and think it is okay.
I'd agree with this.
There was a thread a while back which was just awful, but since it was a 'popular' woman ripping a guy to bits it was deemed funny by most.
Also, any thread mentioning slim women gets pulled to pieces.
Gotta love fabs double standards. "
Agree with both. I enjoy this forum but it’s a fucking cesspit at time once the easily offended double standard brigade get going |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately Meli I think it’ll always be around… even more so now as to years ago.. yes we if a certain age were and did tease over appearance
Wether that was tall, short, big or thin, hair colour, glasses, dress sense, and sexuality, race or colour or beliefs. I just think people will always target someone either that’s too umiliate, bully, or to get a cheap laugh. It’s not acceptable. But it’s there
I just think now it’s so much easier to do it and not face any real consequence. The keyboard warrior element. At least a generation ago you basically had to do it face to face.
Would I step in, yes! I have stepped in many times when I see bullying or harassment of someone.
I don’t mind confrontation and sometimes really enjoy looking for it. But I’d like to say I only ever look for the people that are Bully’s. I hate bully’s. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately Meli I think it’ll always be around… even more so now as to years ago.. yes we if a certain age were and did tease over appearance
Wether that was tall, short, big or thin, hair colour, glasses, dress sense, and sexuality, race or colour or beliefs. I just think people will always target someone either that’s too umiliate, bully, or to get a cheap laugh. It’s not acceptable. But it’s there
I just think now it’s so much easier to do it and not face any real consequence. The keyboard warrior element. At least a generation ago you basically had to do it face to face.
Would I step in, yes! I have stepped in many times when I see bullying or harassment of someone.
I don’t mind confrontation and sometimes really enjoy looking for it. But I’d like to say I only ever look for the people that are Bully’s. I hate bully’s. "
But yes I’ve been called, chunky, (which I am) lol ugly, old, bald ect…
But I’m thick skinned  |
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I never have been which is highly highly surprising
Maybe they know better than to piss off a nearly 6ft tall Scottish woman, or maybe Mr deletes them before I see them to protect me.
But there's really no need for anyone to be body shaming |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"Is it in the eye of the beholder?
I've been told I'm too fat and ugly to fuck when I've turned someone down. Don't know if that's body shaming.
"
Fairly sure that's just morons not being able to take rejection |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"Unfortunately Meli I think it’ll always be around… even more so now as to years ago.. yes we if a certain age were and did tease over appearance
Wether that was tall, short, big or thin, hair colour, glasses, dress sense, and sexuality, race or colour or beliefs. I just think people will always target someone either that’s too umiliate, bully, or to get a cheap laugh. It’s not acceptable. But it’s there
I just think now it’s so much easier to do it and not face any real consequence. The keyboard warrior element. At least a generation ago you basically had to do it face to face.
Would I step in, yes! I have stepped in many times when I see bullying or harassment of someone.
I don’t mind confrontation and sometimes really enjoy looking for it. But I’d like to say I only ever look for the people that are Bully’s. I hate bully’s. "
I imagine they back off fairly sharpish!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I have pretty badly in my teens and I knocked my confidence a lot.
I don’t think it’ll ever really end. The ideal body type is forever changing and with the power that social media has now, the pressure it puts on people to look a certain way is a lot greater than it was. It’s also far too easy for people to body shame others anonymously online now.
Having said that I do think we’re getting better at calling people out who shame others on their body. |
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"It's my final thread of the day, don't worry!
So bodyshaming. In a site where physical appearance is important - have you been on the receiving end of it? Do you think bodyshaming is ever valid?
Where do you stand on it? Is it something that will die out in time or do you think it's as rife through the generations? Would you ever call it out?"
Depends what people think is body shaming. Discussing and commenting and preferring isnt shaming. Being a nasty bastard is just needless and unnecessary. I dont like the way people are critical of slim people and get a free ride. And yeah if people are being nasty twats... Call it out. |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
I’ve been body shamed a lot over the years and not just by people on this site. I’ve been body shamed by family members, my own Mother who constantly says things like ‘ I thought your tummy looked bigger’ and my ex husband who would call me things like lard arse and other offensive names.
It’s never valid and can cause long term
Damage to your self esteem. We are all beautiful whatever shape and size we are, we are all valid xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Growing up in Glasgow I remember getting terrorised! I was tiny, scronny, and as a family we had nothing!!  high school was a graft! But I guess it shapes you.
Don't get much nowadays, and I even wear specs sometimes   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't show my body, so I don't get body-shamed. I'm horrified when I see some of the comments others receive on the forum or in messages. I thought it was body positive to start with. But it's not really. It's a VERY judgmental place.
With all of that said, I still think some of us body shame ourselves much worse than anyone else does.  |
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I think it's obvious body shaming is never valid nor will it ever go away, especially when people have the ability to say things online that they'd never say face to face.
As for physical appearance on the site being important, it's not that important for everyone. I don't mean that in an "I'll shag anything" way. I find it very shallow to discount someone on physical appearance alone. I'm seduced more by personality than appearance. In real life I've found myself becoming attracted to people I didn't think to look twice at before I got to know them and who they are. If someone is ugly on the inside then I won't want them full stop. If I find someone beautiful on the inside that's the energy that draws me in regardlesss of a so called good or bad body/physical appearance. I'd rather get to know someone before I jump into bed with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a lot of scars and a something I cannot hide from a surgical procedure that changed my life.
The reason I am so tattooed is that I went on a spa weekend and these 2 random woman looked at all my scars and outcome of them and pointed and gossiped where I could hear.
It mortified me and definitely effects my confidence so I decided to get covered in ink to give people something else to gossip over
Nothing as mean as folk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a lot of scars and a something I cannot hide from a surgical procedure that changed my life.
The reason I am so tattooed is that I went on a spa weekend and these 2 random woman looked at all my scars and outcome of them and pointed and gossiped where I could hear.
It mortified me and definitely effects my confidence so I decided to get covered in ink to give people something else to gossip over
Nothing as mean as folk "
Those shitty women. Scars are stories, but I get why you wanted to cover them up. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I have a lot of scars and a something I cannot hide from a surgical procedure that changed my life.
The reason I am so tattooed is that I went on a spa weekend and these 2 random woman looked at all my scars and outcome of them and pointed and gossiped where I could hear.
It mortified me and definitely effects my confidence so I decided to get covered in ink to give people something else to gossip over
Nothing as mean as folk "
Ach Jack, I'm sorry. That's a really awful experience to have - people can really be mean. I hope the tattoos restored your confidence, x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a lot of scars and a something I cannot hide from a surgical procedure that changed my life.
The reason I am so tattooed is that I went on a spa weekend and these 2 random woman looked at all my scars and outcome of them and pointed and gossiped where I could hear.
It mortified me and definitely effects my confidence so I decided to get covered in ink to give people something else to gossip over
Nothing as mean as folk
Ach Jack, I'm sorry. That's a really awful experience to have - people can really be mean. I hope the tattoos restored your confidence, x"
Thank you both for your kind words but it’s not a sympathy post it’s about being mindful of words as they can really hurt.
Not everyone can have the perceived bush perfect and actually don’t want it. Do I admire an amazing physique. Hell yes. But my hand is always too near a cookie jar |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a lot of scars and a something I cannot hide from a surgical procedure that changed my life.
The reason I am so tattooed is that I went on a spa weekend and these 2 random woman looked at all my scars and outcome of them and pointed and gossiped where I could hear.
It mortified me and definitely effects my confidence so I decided to get covered in ink to give people something else to gossip over
Nothing as mean as folk
Ach Jack, I'm sorry. That's a really awful experience to have - people can really be mean. I hope the tattoos restored your confidence, x
Thank you both for your kind words but it’s not a sympathy post it’s about being mindful of words as they can really hurt.
Not everyone can have the perceived bush perfect and actually don’t want it. Do I admire an amazing physique. Hell yes. But my hand is always too near a cookie jar "
Body not bush!! Wow my autocorrect!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've received messages out of the blue telling me that if I lost weight I may be more successful here.
Why do people send such messages, there's just no need.
Body shaming is so unnecessary. |
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Meli you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been called overweight or had unsolicited advice telling me to go on a diet.
Usually from rejected couples, egos bruised, I’m not going to open my legs for you therefore I am a fat oaf.
I always kill them with kindness and say “awww thanks for taking the time to think so much about it and for the concern you show, I’m sure I will get by though” |
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