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Horseflies, ticks, fleas and other arse pains
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Good folks; it’s that time of year again 
I’ve been bitten a few times this year whilst out in the garden and am presently sporting two bloody great bites on my legs.
This is the weird bit though: There’s one on each leg IN EXACTLY THE SAME BLOODY PLACE! - Like mirror images in fact(!!!) What are the chances?! Clearly I must now have been infused with some manner of super power or something….right?
Anyway, my question: How many times have you all been bitten thus far this year?
Where have you been noshed and did you identify the culprit?
There’s an exclusive prize of a half eaten packet of crisps (that were opened two weeks ago) for whoever can claim the prestigious accolade of most bites  |
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I can handle the midgies up here in Scotland. And the mosquitoes down in France. But the horseflies? Hate them. With a passion. I’ve scars that are two and three years old from the little bastards. And another one got me this weekend. My arm’s been swollen up like Popeye’s for days. |
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"I can handle the midgies up here in Scotland. And the mosquitoes down in France. But the horseflies? Hate them. With a passion. I’ve scars that are two and three years old from the little bastards. And another one got me this weekend. My arm’s been swollen up like Popeye’s for days."
I read an alarmist article last week regarding, ‘Vampire Horse Flies’ which apparently, can bite right through clothes(!!!)  May Saint’s preserve us!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good folks; it’s that time of year again
I’ve been bitten a few times this year whilst out in the garden and am presently sporting two bloody great bites on my legs.
This is the weird bit though: There’s one on each leg IN EXACTLY THE SAME BLOODY PLACE! - Like mirror images in fact(!!!) What are the chances?! Clearly I must now have been infused with some manner of super power or something….right?
Anyway, my question: How many times have you all been bitten thus far this year?
Where have you been noshed and did you identify the culprit?
There’s an exclusive prize of a half eaten packet of crisps (that were opened two weeks ago) for whoever can claim the prestigious accolade of most bites "
I stepped on a fire ant mound. They instantly swarmed me. It was horrible. |
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Apparently if you are being bothered by cows and fear for your safety, you can imitate the noise of a horsefly and they will run away.
Can’t say I blame them - horseflies are nasty fuckers.
I’ve been swatting them all the way down the canal network during June. Oxfordshire was particularly bad for some reason.
They seem to favour certain areas and I mark the horsefly hotspots on my charts - so I know not to moor there in the future. |
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"Good folks; it’s that time of year again
I’ve been bitten a few times this year whilst out in the garden and am presently sporting two bloody great bites on my legs.
This is the weird bit though: There’s one on each leg IN EXACTLY THE SAME BLOODY PLACE! - Like mirror images in fact(!!!) What are the chances?! Clearly I must now have been infused with some manner of super power or something….right?
Anyway, my question: How many times have you all been bitten thus far this year?
Where have you been noshed and did you identify the culprit?
There’s an exclusive prize of a half eaten packet of crisps (that were opened two weeks ago) for whoever can claim the prestigious accolade of most bites
I stepped on a fire ant mound. They instantly swarmed me. It was horrible."
I’ve heard that their bites are very painful
I swear by Sudocrem for such unhappy incidents; it’s really good stuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm either lucky or not very tasty but I cant recall ever being bitten by an insect.
Do you think they gather on their wee beastie forums and moan about 'those bloody humans again'
|
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"Oh, regular horseflies can bite you right through clothes. They’re built for biting through cowhide and horsehide, after all …"
‘Orrible things! I’ve also heard of Deerflies which are similar but I’ve thankfully never been assaulted by one of those….yet… |
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"Apparently if you are being bothered by cows and fear for your safety, you can imitate the noise of a horsefly and they will run away.
Can’t say I blame them - horseflies are nasty fuckers.
I’ve been swatting them all the way down the canal network during June. Oxfordshire was particularly bad for some reason.
They seem to favour certain areas and I mark the horsefly hotspots on my charts - so I know not to moor there in the future. "
They seem to love buzzing around nearby bodies of water especially.
I remember when I was a kid being constantly assailed by them whenever I got into the paddling pool |
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"LUCKILY I have never seen a tick in my life and I hope it stays that way, horrible things!
I do get absolutely chewed by everything else during summat "
Ticks are truly ghastly things both in terms of their looks and movement and indeed, the way they attach themselves onto a host before gorging on the victims blood.
Even more worryingly, they can also transmit Lyme Disease.
Truly nasty little creatures. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Horseflies are bastards.
I'm a magnet to them, but it's worse for Fox as she gets really bad reactions to them.
Not having horses and being around them would reduce exposure of course, but that would be far too sensible....
A |
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"I'm either lucky or not very tasty but I cant recall ever being bitten by an insect.
Do you think they gather on their wee beastie forums and moan about 'those bloody humans again'
"
They probably do; Their version of FAB stands for, Fleas And Bites and has a verification section wherein they rate one another on how much blood they managed to steal from a human host  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm either lucky or not very tasty but I cant recall ever being bitten by an insect.
Do you think they gather on their wee beastie forums and moan about 'those bloody humans again'
They probably do; Their version of FAB stands for, Fleas And Bites and has a verification section wherein they rate one another on how much blood they managed to steal from a human host "
The very thought gives me the heebie jeebies  |
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"Horseflies are bastards.
I'm a magnet to them, but it's worse for Fox as she gets really bad reactions to them.
Not having horses and being around them would reduce exposure of course, but that would be far too sensible....
A"
One old country trick here is to actually allow the pestering horsefly to land on oneself before slapping it (in order to stop it biting you unaware).
Unfortunately, this only works if you can see it targeting you though and at any rate, there’s always ten more in the wings ready to step into their fallen place |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Horseflies are bastards.
I'm a magnet to them, but it's worse for Fox as she gets really bad reactions to them.
Not having horses and being around them would reduce exposure of course, but that would be far too sensible....
A
One old country trick here is to actually allow the pestering horsefly to land on oneself before slapping it (in order to stop it biting you unaware).
Unfortunately, this only works if you can see it targeting you though and at any rate, there’s always ten more in the wings ready to step into their fallen place "
It's also a good excuse to slap Fox's arse.
"There was a horsefly there.....honest!' 
A |
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"Horseflies are bastards.
I'm a magnet to them, but it's worse for Fox as she gets really bad reactions to them.
Not having horses and being around them would reduce exposure of course, but that would be far too sensible....
A
One old country trick here is to actually allow the pestering horsefly to land on oneself before slapping it (in order to stop it biting you unaware).
Unfortunately, this only works if you can see it targeting you though and at any rate, there’s always ten more in the wings ready to step into their fallen place
It's also a good excuse to slap Fox's arse.
"There was a horsefly there.....honest!'
A"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here to hate on the horseflies like everyone else! We live next to a farm, quite literally next door and they go savage on me every summer! Do they go near C? No they do not. Not one single bite all summer. 
Mr |
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"Good folks; it’s that time of year again
I’ve been bitten a few times this year whilst out in the garden and am presently sporting two bloody great bites on my legs.
This is the weird bit though: There’s one on each leg IN EXACTLY THE SAME BLOODY PLACE! - Like mirror images in fact(!!!) What are the chances?! Clearly I must now have been infused with some manner of super power or something….right?
Anyway, my question: How many times have you all been bitten thus far this year?
Where have you been noshed and did you identify the culprit?
There’s an exclusive prize of a half eaten packet of crisps (that were opened two weeks ago) for whoever can claim the prestigious accolade of most bites "
Not a single, solitary nosh in these ‘ere parts. I feel neglected. |
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I have been bitten on the arse several times this year, by some kind of insect, at night. It's probably because I sleep with my left leg on top of the covers, ergo my left arse cheek is often uncovered too |
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