FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you doing Fab as YOU should?
Are you doing Fab as YOU should?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Having been here a long time, have you adjusted and changed the way YOU do Fab, and had that change worked for you?
Does what you did at the beginning g still work for you?
Have you changed or has the landscape of Fab changed and you adjusted with it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the beginning when I joined fab I joined to meet and fuck men I fancied
Then for years I couldn’t
Now I’m back and I’m still so anxious so who knows. Hopefully I am doing things right, but probs not  |
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I didn't know about the forum and certainly not group socials when I joined so yes I've totally changed the way I do fab .
It's more a way of life now and luckily I hope I have enriched other users   |
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It's changed so much over the years, first 6 months were the sweetshop days and I was very cock hungry. Meeting my first fwb changed everything and I soon settled and built my stable of regular partners, soon after I took a kink journey and concentrated on my bdsm. But these past few years I've enjoyed basking in the glow of my fwb's attentions tbh,
Happily settled in my fab journey, whilst touring the country socialising |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Having been here a long time, have you adjusted and changed the way YOU do Fab, and had that change worked for you?
Does what you did at the beginning g still work for you?
Have you changed or has the landscape of Fab changed and you adjusted with it? "
Well.
I used to be a single guy and then I wasn't, so yes. 
A |
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This is my 4th profile in almost 7 years here and I've changed my approach with each one.
The first one lasted only a couple of months and ended because of a disastrous first meet.
I came back with trepidation and that profile lasted 6 months and ran out of steam as far as I was concerned due mainly to lack of interest on my part.
The third one was as successful as I wanted it to be and involved some new experiences and lots of verifications but came to a shuddering halt as a result of demands and unreasonable expectations from someone I met.
I didn't log in for over a year and decided I would never be back.
Then I decided to erase all record of me on here and I logged back in just long enough to delete my well verified and successful profile.
A few months later and a more determined me rejoined with a clean slate and zero interest in chatting to anyone I had met before or even letting them know I had returned.
This current profile is now more than 4 years old and I have never compromised on how I want to do fab.
I don't pander to anyone and never chase or hunt.
I engage in the forums and don't use any other part of the site.
Despite that I have had experience of people determined to dictate how I should behave on here and they haven't been subtle about it at all.
Instructions on what I should do in order to meet certain people as well as "friendly" advice on why I should never chat to or meet certain others.
I'm on a number of "hot" profile blocklists for no other reason than saying no or refusing to fit in.
I've never had a no show or been one and I've said no more times than I've said yes to various offers.
So as usual a long and rambling reply to your question but yes I very much do me where this site is concerned.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely? "
* haven’t
**obvs
***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote |
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"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely?
* haven’t
**obvs
***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote "
Oooh, I like a good footnote.
Hi. How *you* doin’? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely?
* haven’t
**obvs
***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote "
****woody is laughing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?
You need to come to more socials Joe "
Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely?
* haven’t
**obvs
***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote
Oooh, I like a good footnote.
Hi. How *you* doin’?"
Probably a moo point tbh. Y’know, like a cows opinion. It’s moo. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Yes. I think I’m more chilled out now. I’m no longer looking to meet for sex. I might consider socially meeting up with someone but let’s face it, most want the sex and not an awkward chin wag over a cuppa and some cake/biscuits/pizza/burger, so I’m happy just perving and waffling on the forums. |
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Ugh. Typo. Mortal shame. Deleted post. Start again.
In the past, I relied on the ‘who’s near’ and ‘post a meet’ parts of Fab. These days I pretty much exclusively look at the forums and end up in private messages.
So that’s a change, I guess. I went from ‘who’s near’ to ‘who’s nice?’ |
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"Yes. I think I’m more chilled out now. I’m no longer looking to meet for sex. I might consider socially meeting up with someone but let’s face it, most want the sex and not an awkward chin wag over a cuppa and some cake/biscuits/pizza/burger, so I’m happy just perving and waffling on the forums. "
See, this actually is exactly what I want nowadays. I love the awkward chinwag over a pint or a cuppa. Sometimes that leads to snogging. And even sex. But it really, really doesn’t have to. |
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"Probably a moo point tbh. Y’know, like a cows opinion. It’s moo. "
There’s an obvious comeback here about being a cow, but I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to make it because I actually quite like you. You’re alright. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?
You need to come to more socials Joe
Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch "
You can get cream for that......
A |
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"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?
You need to come to more socials Joe
Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch "
Have you been to The Attic yet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably a moo point tbh. Y’know, like a cows opinion. It’s moo.
There’s an obvious comeback here about being a cow, but I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to make it because I actually quite like you. You’re alright."
That was classic Joey Tribiani. |
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"At the beginning when I joined fab I joined to meet and fuck men I fancied
Then for years I couldn’t
Now I’m back and I’m still so anxious so who knows. Hopefully I am doing things right, but probs not "
Well I can't believe you'll be short on offers with a figure like you have. |
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I don’t think I’ve changed the way I use Fab OP.
I was on here for quite a long time albeit nearly 10 years ago. I still made friends, used the forums, went to socials and generally had a good laugh back then too.
I guess I’m just me and I just do as I want. I don’t think I’ve changed. If the fab landscape has, it hasn’t effected my approach at all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's changed for me quite a bit, started meeting singly then had a fwb for several years.haven't meet for a while now and still don't really use forums tho I do lurk.. not that you wanted to know  |
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Yes, absolutely, it has changed a lot over the couple of years ive been here.
Just lurked on the forums to start with, sent a few winks from local searches. Changed from a couples profile to a single female, and was glad id read the forums beforehand as that was overwhelming for a while! Went a bit crazy with meets for a bit, and now am mainly just on the forums again and chatting with friends.
Might go back to looking to meet again at some point, but im happy with how im using it atm, its right for me just now. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on less than a year ! New profile now, I blocked single men and that made it much better yes yes I know #notallmen
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As a tall man. I take great offense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?
You need to come to more socials Joe
Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch
Have you been to The Attic yet?"
Yeah, I've been a few times and had good nights but the idea of approaching people I don't know still gives me a bit of a bit in my stomach  |
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By *empusMan
over a year ago
Poole |
Took me 6 months to slowly figure out how to use fab properly. It has been worth the patience and effort though... Never had so much sex in my life and very much excited about what future naughtiness I can get involved in x
Had more than a few disappointments along the way though. Glad I stuck with it and learnt from my mistakes! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is there a manual?"
Yes.
This forum, we are good at telling you what you can and can’t do. ..
*Narrator - it’s at this point Woody realised what he’s said, and tried all the nearest doors for a quick exit. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I think everyone originally comes in trying to please everyone, keeping the field as wide as possible, minding their P’s and Q’s …..
…. And then I got to the “I really don’t care!” ….
I think it’s getting to the comfortable “couldn’t give two shits!” Stage… |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Been on less than a year ! New profile now, I blocked single men and that made it much better yes yes I know #notallmen
As a tall man. I take great offense."
Oi lanky!  Stop nicking my hashtag gag.......
A |
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Only major adjustment is as a single guy. It's a different experience but pretty much as I expected.
I guess I've learnt about myself from the people I've met and experiences I've had over the years.
I now usually only deal with around 5 cock pics a day rather than 50 that's a nice change. |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
I changed loads once i was driven to prove myself the greatest fuck alive and held the title a good while before retiring due to inevitable heartbreak so now i just hang around like a dead rat stuck in the walls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I don't think I've ever played the fab games or followed all the weird rules people seem to think exist.
I do my own thing and own it. As a result I have a great time.
Sometimes it's purely chatting online, sometimes it's social, sometimes I make friends and sometimes I even have sex.
I see too many people getting bogged down in what others do or might be thinking. I think they are missing out as a result |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In previous incarnations I did not use the Forums, since returning this time I am constantly looking at threads in the Lounge.
What's not changed is how I use it for chatting with friends and having a nose at interesting profiles. |
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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago
Chorley, Eng |
As someone only really properly 8 weeks in to the fab and swingers life this is very interesting. I can feel a wee change in how I engage already happening.
Here is hoping that the joys continue to outweigh the lows. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first profile was about 7 years ago, I wasn't agoraphobic then and actually was quite outgoing but I had no clue how to use the site tools and got overwhelmed. Thought the polite thing was replying to every message, had my first meet and was made to feel very uncomfortable and pressured into sex. I deleted my profile and told my neighbour who was a regular site user, she encouraged me back and showed me how to use the tools. I never used the forums till a year ago and now I only use forums as a distraction from life issues. In a way its helping me and my agoraphobia |
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I'm coming up to my first anniversary on Fab. I started out reading the advice threads on the forum for a few clues on how to set up my profile. Did what I thought was OK, put plenty of face pics on etc. The first few months a activity searched the lists of profiles what fitted my likes. I used to send well thought out messages after making sure I read a profile twice, so I knew for sure what the owner of the prifile was looking for. I sent a face pic with message as well. I used this method for around 6 months without any success why so ever (apart from a quick 2 mins chat on cam with a couple).
I no longer send messages,as I never recieve replies so I see it as a waste of my time and all the effort is wasted. Now I just read the forums, update my pics regularly so they are how I look now, and post status updates.
I have literally run out of ideas on how to make contact with people on here who I am attracted to, or how to attract interest.
I'm not one for meeting large groups of people in clubs(even if I was I wouldn't pay the rip off prices they charge single men out of principle), or large social gatherings. I'd rather make Co tact, talk via videocall and meet for a quiet drink to see if the spark and attraction is there.
So, yes, I have completly changed the way I use Fab. |
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