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I have a cucumber
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Slice lengthwise into quarter inch slices, char over hot coals, serve with sour cream warmed wish dashi, smoked olive oil and a last minute dash of sesame oil.
Try it once, you'll never not want it again. Unlike the other suggestions. |
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"I don't want to forget about it and find it rotten at the bottom of the fridge like the last two.
I seek suggestions as to what I should do with it. Points for the more outlandish suggestions  "
Store it in your knickers just to remind you… |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Slice lengthwise into quarter inch slices, char over hot coals, serve with sour cream warmed wish dashi, smoked olive oil and a last minute dash of sesame oil.
Try it once, you'll never not want it again. Unlike the other suggestions."
Maybe a grill. I don't tend to use coal |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I don't want to forget about it and find it rotten at the bottom of the fridge like the last two.
I seek suggestions as to what I should do with it. Points for the more outlandish suggestions
Store it in your knickers just to remind you…"
But then where would I put all my vibrators? |
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"I don't want to forget about it and find it rotten at the bottom of the fridge like the last two.
I seek suggestions as to what I should do with it. Points for the more outlandish suggestions
Store it in your knickers just to remind you…
But then where would I put all my vibrators? "
2 Stretchy holes you have I believe… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Peel, slice very thinly, sprinkle with salt. Set aside for 20 min. Remove excess water, add soured cream and chopped Dill. Side dish for any classic meat meal instead of warm veg during the heatwave.
T |
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By *ai24Man
over a year ago
Hull |
"Slice cucumber.
Add to a jug with lots of ice, half a bottle of Hendrick's and tonic water to the top
Enjoy the sunshine
Maybe wait till after 11am though.
B"
11am!? Explains the funny looks I got this am…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Carve it into the shape of the Eiffel Tower. Spray paint it in a neon rainbow  go online and buy it a lordship then announce its arrival on your local fb groups. Organise a town fair in its honour and take it on the top of an open top bus to meet the crowds  |
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"Carve it into the shape of the Eiffel Tower. Spray paint it in a neon rainbow go online and buy it a lordship then announce its arrival on your local fb groups. Organise a town fair in its honour and take it on the top of an open top bus to meet the crowds "
I’d say alcohol but you don’t drink…. |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Set up a webcam to record it 24/7 documenting its slow decay...then sell the video as a modern art installation called "MANkinds collapse"
"
But will it last longer than our current prime minister? |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Peel, slice very thinly, sprinkle with salt. Set aside for 20 min. Remove excess water, add soured cream and chopped Dill. Side dish for any classic meat meal instead of warm veg during the heatwave.
T "
I've never peeled one before |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Slice cucumber.
Add to a jug with lots of ice, half a bottle of Hendrick's and tonic water to the top
Enjoy the sunshine
Maybe wait till after 11am though.
B"
I'm not a drinker I'm afraid, so I'll have to pass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Set up a webcam to record it 24/7 documenting its slow decay...then sell the video as a modern art installation called "MANkinds collapse"
But will it last longer than our current prime minister?"
I live in hope that it would outlast him, lol |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Cut it in half and put it
back in the fridge. The chances of forgetting both halves are 50% lover than forgetting the whole thing.
Ans if you do forget them, you've lost two halves rather than a full cucumber. |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Permanently seal it airtight with preservatives and sealant and hey presto - a unique and entertaining dildo for all kinds of sexy shenanigans. 
A"
But I've already done that with the butternut squash |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Carve it into the shape of the Eiffel Tower. Spray paint it in a neon rainbow go online and buy it a lordship then announce its arrival on your local fb groups. Organise a town fair in its honour and take it on the top of an open top bus to meet the crowds "
Fabulous. A definite winner. Anyone know how much it costs to hire a bus? |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Growing up I lived for a few years in a farming area of the country and I was advised in the strongest possible terms.
ALWAYS wash your cucumber before you eat it!"
But I like to play with my food. Should I wash it before or after?  |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Put it in a bikini and take it to the beach.
Guaranteed one of the local perverts will try and cop off with it."
We're about as far from a beach as it's possible to be in this country. I'll take it down the canal instead  |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Cut it in half and put it
back in the fridge. The chances of forgetting both halves are 50% lover than forgetting the whole thing.
Ans if you do forget them, you've lost two halves rather than a full cucumber."
I love logic |
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You should immediately take it in hand, go outside and hold it aloft in the air whilst shouting, ‘By the power of Greyskull, I have the poweeeeerrrrr!’
Also, if you have a pet cat, don’t forget to zap it with the flowing energy that will doubtless by now be engulfing you…. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Permanently seal it airtight with preservatives and sealant and hey presto - a unique and entertaining dildo for all kinds of sexy shenanigans.
A
But I've already done that with the butternut squash "
Kinky!! 
I like it..... 
A |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Only a sensible answer from me....
Cucumber salad..
Cucumber
Red onions/spring onions
Sour cream
Garlic powder
Dill
Dash of red wine vinegar
Mix it all together and serve as a side dish
Tinder x"
Sounds nice |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"You should immediately take it in hand, go outside and hold it aloft in the air whilst shouting, ‘By the power of Greyskull, I have the poweeeeerrrrr!’
Also, if you have a pet cat, don’t forget to zap it with the flowing energy that will doubtless by now be engulfing you…."
I'll have to wait until it's a bit cooler, but this sounds like fun |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Shove it in your mouth then walk the streets asking every person you pass "I've lost my cucumber...have you seen it?!" - as best you can with a cucumber in your mouth! "
Well my neighbours already think we're weird.. |
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If we're going sensible rather than outlandish (for that see above), I'm making a salad later with mine.
Steamed brown onion and mushroom, spinach (raw nettle works well when it's a bit younger), olives, peppers, cucumber, feta cheese, lemon juice and rind, olive oil, salt |
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